"I'm fine." I reassure Sam for the fifth time since Beth left.

I'm sitting in his cozy living room and Sam is about to start a movie on his new flat screen. I was adamant on no romances, luckily he doesn't have many anyway. Since I won't watch horror movies either, we're limited on choices.

"I just don't understand it. You were getting better, why the hell would you call him?" Sam asks obviously upset.

"I accidentally answered the phone." I admit.

"Sure." He says while rolling his eyes. I'm not sure why he would think I would purposely cause myself more agony.

"Titanic?" He asks as he's browsing through his large bookshelf filled with movies.

"Are you absolutely crazy?" I shout.

"Okay, I guess that's a no." He says as he mocks a surrender.

"I said no romance." I cross my arms and lean further back into his leather couch. I prefer to go back to bed, but he's determined to keep me awake as if facing life head-on is going to solve all my problems.

At least he doesn't make me get dressed properly. I'm comfortable in his t-shirt and have taken off my jeans because this shirt is practically a dress on me anyway.

"Well if you're this upset over the breakup, just be glad you didn't sleep with him." He says casually while he continues browsing.

My jaw practically falls to the floor and I have to quickly cover for myself. "Ye-yeah." I stumble through the word. I realize just how unconvincing I was when he turns to face me.

"Maggie?" His broad shoulders perk up and his blue eyes widen as he examines my face.

I avoid his gaze and look to the floor, so he rushes over and kneels beside me.

"Mags, did you give him your virginity?" He asks desperately in a high pitched voice and I cringe from the memory.

"I-" I'm at a loss for words. "I gave him everything." I say as tears flow again.

I'm embarrassed, but more so because I can't keep my emotions in check. I've always been so composed, it's usually easy for me to hide away my feelings deep down in a dark corner inside myself. But now I lash out and break down so easily, I think I might actually be broken.

He wraps me in his arms and lets out a curse. "Shit, I'm sorry I didn't know. I just- I didn't think you would."

I feel sick as I wait for an 'I told you so' but it never comes. Sam probably thinks so much less of me now, but it's not as if I gave it away on a whim. I loved him. Even with everything that happened, I just can't find it in me to regret it. That moment was beautiful and cannot be tainted, even with the damage caused in his wake.

"Someone someday is really going to love you the way you deserve to be loved." He whispers.

For some unknown reason, I don't like this comment. I inexplicably feel the urge to defend Jackson despite the cruel things he did to me, but I don't. I nod and start to pull away from his embrace. I'm so confused about my emotions tonight.

"Forrest Gump?" He asks with one brow raised to lighten the mood and I nod my head no.

"What? Forest Gump isn't romantic!" He exclaims.

"Yes, it is! He's in love with Jenny and she's a prick until the very end." I cross my arms in protest after stating my fact.

"Point taken." He concedes easily and walks back to his shelf of movies to mull over other options.

"Honestly, maybe I should just go back to bed." I groan but he ignores me.

"I've got it!" He shouts excitedly.

I groan again, "Alright, let's hear it."

"Space Cowboys." A big smile crosses his face as the words come out of his mouth. Even though I know it has a sad ending and there is a little romance, I decide I don't want his smile to disappear again.

"Fine." I let a smile creep onto the corner of my mouth and he lets out a satisfied, "Ha!"

Sam plugs in the movie and the opening credits start playing. He turns off all of the lights then opens the front door to let air in, but keeps the screen door shut.

"Popcorn?" He asks. I'm sure he's hoping I'll eat because I haven't eaten anything in what feels like days.

"No, thank you." I decline politely. The idea of food disgusts me and I haven't been able to keep much down.

"I'm gonna make some for myself then, will you pause it?" He asks politely but I know what he's doing. He's going to make popcorn so the noxious smell fills the room and tempts me. But it won't work, the very smell of food has been turning my stomach.

Soon I hear popping from the kitchen and the second he opens the microwave the smell spreads through the entire kitchen and living room. Despite my previous thoughts of food making me nauseous, it actually smells promising.

When Sam reclines back on the couch he slides the bowl into my lap and to both our surprise I grab a handful.

He added extra butter which he knows is my favorite and surprisingly I don't immediately feel sick. He gives me a massive grin like he's just conquered the world and puts his arm around my shoulders pulling me closer.

Sam pops open a box of the soft junior peppermint's and dumps a bit in my hand. I smile at him knowingly, then grab a few pieces of popcorn and toss in a mint along with it.

I'm sure if we were in a theater I would have gotten weird looks, but my father always used to mix junior mints with popcorn and it's become my favorite odd combination. Sam used to tease me about it, but after trying the mix himself he's become a believer.

After a quarter into the movie and after devouring half the popcorn, I start to feel drowsy and rest my head on his chest. The aroma of citrus overpowers the popcorn odor and I breathe in deeply, enjoying his smell.

As if he realizes I'm enjoying his sweet scent, he pulls me closer and raises my chin with his fingertip. His bright blue eyes meet mine and his lips are so close that I can smell the mint he just had mixing with citrus.

His gaze falls to my mouth and my stomach does a flip. A bizarre feeling comes over me, a combination of uncertainty and pleasure from being touched for the first time in days.

I love Sam, just not in the way he wants me to.

With Sam, I feel stable and secure. I know he would never hurt me or mistreat me. I know that if I had a life with him it would be filled with roses for every holiday, he'd never forget an anniversary and we could grow old and have a beautiful family together. I'd be loved, cherished and respected. Sam is mature, grounded and above all, Sam is safe.

The feelings I have-. The feelings I had, for Jackson, were so intense and passionate. I fell for him so hard and fast, it was the most thrilling sensation I've ever experienced. He was spontaneous, I never knew where he was taking me or what adventure we were going on next. He gave me the courage to do things I'd otherwise never do.

When Jack entered the room, I felt the world spin out of control and a magnetic force pulling me to him. When we touched he became my rock. He kept me stable, grounded even, as the world spun wildly around us. But in the end, he let go.

Jackson is immature and spiteful. He's undeniably and irrevocably screwed up, but I love him. I love him in every possible way there is to love a person. Sam is the definition of a perfect man, but I don't love him in the same way.

So the inevitable question is, do I learn to love what's good for me and risk losing the love of my life? Or do I give my heart what it wants and feel the freedom to live in the moment and love freely, even though there's always a chance that I'll be crushed.

His soft lips gently touch mine and a warm unfamiliar sensation flows through me. At first, I hesitate, I don't kiss him back. The feeling of his mouth on mine is unfamiliar, foreign even, but not unpleasant.

My mouth starts to move with his, gentle, soft kisses. They aren't filled with passion or need like the ones I've shared with Jack. They're loving and tender, but not rushed as his soft lips gently graze mine.

My hands instinctively thread through his soft dirty blonde hair and I pull him closer to me attempting to fill the empty void in my chest. I taste the peppermint he had earlier as his tongue grazes mine.

Sam's hands begin to lower to my chest as his lips graze my neck and my pulse begins to quicken. His warm breath under my jaw sends a slow heat through my body.

"Sam stop." I say abruptly.

He halts immediately and brings his eyes to mine.

"I'm sorry, I can't." I can feel tears welling up in my eyes and I try to push them back down.

"Hey, it's okay." He whispers and gently pulls me to his chest.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have rushed you." He says apologetically.

But he doesn't really understand, I'm broken now. Every kiss will always be compared to Jackson.

"I love him." I whisper barely loud enough, but he hears it.

"I know, and I can wait." He whispers back.

I nod, unwilling to talk about this any longer.

I snuggle into his chest again and he starts threading his fingers through my hair as we continue watching Space Cowboys.

A little over halfway through the movie when the characters are up in space, I hear someone at the door. Before Sam even moves to answer it, the screen door flies open and Jackson stands in the doorway glaring at us on the couch.