"It's a load of bullshit." 
"It's a load of bullshit." 
"It's a load of bullshit."

I'm silently repeating the words over and over in my head, trying to decide why the hell he would say that about his own novels.

"Why would you insult your own work?" I'm confused.

"Oh, I'm not insulting my novels, Love.  I've won plenty of awards and put some serious work into it."  He states without any remorse. "People like you have been buying it up for years.  I'm saying love is bullshit."

"How could you possibly think that love is bullshit when that's all you write about?"  I ask through grit teeth.

"I'm a realist." He shrugs and gives me a cocky grin. "I've seen the worst shit you could imagine happen between couples who swear they're in love." 

He's getting heated, "Remember those guys you saw me with last night? Alex is Fucking married, I was at his wedding.  I watched them shove cake in each other's fucking faces, give each other vows through tears," His jaw is clenched tight as he growls, "and last night that bimbo riding him in the bathroom was not his fucking wife."

I gasp, "Why would you surround yourself with people like that?"

He lets out a sharp laugh, "Ha!  Wake up Mags, everyone does it and it's not just the deceit and cheating.  Oh no, once you've seen what I have-"

He takes a breath and looks away as if he's recalling a distant memory then looks back at me with a fierce determination in his eyes. "When you let someone close enough to break your heart, no matter how much time you give it to heal, the pieces never mend the same."

"Who hurt you?" The words slip out before I can shove them back in my mouth.  I wanted to comfort him, to hold him in my arms and tell him everything would be okay but my stupid mouth ruined it.

Instantly, his face becomes stone and all emotions are drained from him.  "We're done here."

"No wait, Jackson I was just trying-" I attempt to cover for myself but he cuts me off.

"Hopeless romantics like you are so desperate to find love that you search for it in books, songs, movies, but let me break it to you sweetheart," He says cruelly.  "Love doesn't exist. The closest thing I've found is lust and you can solve that real quick with a good fucking or two."

"You're an asshole." I state angrily, realizing that just because he has a pretty face doesn't mean his personality matches.  His cocky smirk returns as if he enjoys being called an ass.

"Unbelievable, you're proud of it." I spit, venom seething from my mouth as an angry heat rises through my chest. 

"Proud of what sweetheart?" He inquires casually.

"Let's get one thing straight Charming, my name is not sweetheart.  Call me that again and you'll be missing a few extra teeth. You're clearly proud of being an asshole." My fists are clenched, heat searing my face, and all I can see is red.

I don't even know this man, how is it he so easily brings out the worst in me?

"I'm not going to sugar coat horse shit and call it a candy apple. If that makes me an asshole then yes, I'm proud." He continues smirking, bringing his lip ring between his teeth as his diamond eyes pierce into mine as if he's thoroughly enjoying this cat and mouse game. 

I'm frozen in place attempting to think of something witty but my mind blanks and he speaks instead.

"You're still standing here, so I think you might just like it. Maybe I'll add you to my book, the innocent girl who just couldn't tear her eyes from the devil."

I'm so disgusted with him that I literally cannot be at the same table.  I turn abruptly, embarrassed, angry, annoyed, all of the above until a question nags at the back of my brain and I can't seem to silence it.

I stop, not bothering to turn and ask, "How can you write such beautiful love stories when you don't believe in love yourself?"

Silence.

At first I wonder if he even heard my question when he doesn't respond with witty banter, so I turn to look him in the eye and watch his face register a look of shock.  I'm curious if he thought I just wouldn't bother speaking, or if my question caught him off guard.  He's quick though, his stone face returns and I know I'll get nothing else out of him, so I walk away. 

What happened? 

There was something there, something that awakened in both of our bodies and I know he felt it.  But the moment I mentioned love Jack turned to stone. When he invited me to sit with him he was a different man than the one I just met.  He clearly has multiple personality disorder, or maybe he just puts up a really good front and deep down he's a harsh and maybe even broken man. 

I'm not myself the rest of my shift, and I avoid the VIP section completely.  I'm thankful it's a different level because if I even saw him downstairs I don't know if I could keep my mouth shut.  I feel like screaming at him but I won't waste my time, he's clearly a lost cause.

The rest of the day goes by quickly as I play this game of hide and seek.  Let's be honest, he's not looking for me. He was probably smugly sitting sipping his coffee thinking of his proud deed of disappointing a pathetic fan. I am pathetic, aren't I?  Living with my nose always in a book with no real life of my own.

No, that's not me. That's just what he wants. He wants me to be down on myself probably because it makes him feel better about never knowing love. 

Just because I've never felt it's sweet embrace doesn't mean it doesn't exist.  And just because Jackson has a frivolous imagination which makes him an incredible writer doesn't mean that his work isn't true.  I refuse to succumb to his glass is half empty bullshit. 

Cynical bastard. 

We're obviously complete opposites.  When I look at any problem my mind always finds a solution.  When there's a wrong I find a right and when faced with bad, I find the good.  And you know what? Maybe I should find the good in this bad situation.

The bad- Just as I was beginning to like him, he showed his true colors.  The good- I found out before I got in too deep. I won't let this angry boy muddy up my day.

When I arrive back home I decide not to tell Beth about my little run-in with Jackson.  I know she had high hopes but it turns out my Prince Charming was nothing but a cynical bastard and I refuse to spend more time thinking about it. 

THE REST OF THE WEEK I don't run into Jackson at all and I continue to keep myself busy so my mind doesn't wander.  It's Friday evening when Beth comes bouncing through the door of our little apartment beaming from ear to ear. Her smile is contagious so I can't help but smile back for no reason. 

"We're going to a party tonight!" She beams and I immediately drop my grin.

"Oh Bethany," I groan, "you know I hate parties." I'm so not the party type.  I prefer to stay indoors and cuddle next to the fire.

"You're going." She exclaims definitively before jumping up and down while clapping her hands. Her platinum blonde shoulder length hair bobs up and down and her emerald eyes widen with excitement. "Christian invited us to a book release party, Sam too!"

"Oh no.  No, no, no." I haven't told her about my spat with Jackson and I'm assuming he'll be there.

"It's too late I already accepted and we're leaving in two hours, so get your booty in the shower."  She shoves me into the bathroom while laughing and turns the water on then shuts me in. I sigh in defeat and look at myself in the mirror.  Circles under my eyes and my hair is a rats nest from laying on the couch.

"Fine!" I yell through the closed door in case she's still listening and get in the already steaming hot shower.

My mind is in shreds filtering through all possible options tonight.  Jackson could be there and despite the previous sexual tension, we are polar opposites.  He is a hateful person with a possibly traumatic past and I am just a silly waitress with her head in the clouds. 

He was unwarrantedly cruel to me and I don't know how I set him off so easily, but I will not be his punching bag. I'm sure plenty of women get snared in his trap.  I bet they're lured in by his beauty, then quickly dismissed by his unruly temper, like a moth to a flame. 

The hot water is calming my nerves as it trickles down my back.  I close my eyes and lean my head back into the thousand drops of water letting it darken my hair. 

With Jackson, it feels like the oxygen is sucked out of the room and it would only take a single match to bring it to a full scorching fire.  But now I know, that match could easily turn the room into a boxing ring or it could be a passionate force of affection. When I'm with Jack it's always mentally draining and I have to be prepared to see him, just in case.

After the shower, I walk to my room and notice Bethany has an outfit already laid out for me.  It's a black tube dress.

"Not happening Beth." I yell out, and I mean it. I got that dress years ago as a Halloween costume.  It's way too snug on my curvy figure and impossible to wear a bra with it. My breasts are ample, so strapless bras are always out of the picture. My boobs should come with a sign, 'straps required.'

As I'm standing there staring into my closet Beth comes in with a few more options.  "It's a black-tie event and I've got tons of dresses to choose from. Now I know you're a bit curvier than me so I tried to pick out dresses that show off your curves but still lay nicely without suffocating you."

As much as I'd rather not go to this event I'd like to show up looking somewhat sexy.  Not that I'm doing it for Jackson in any way shape or form, I lie to myself. 

My hands lightly graze the three dresses laying on my bed and I stop on one with a soft stretchy black fabric.  I lift the dress in the air and notice it's a three-quarter sleeve with a deep V-neck and the length comes just below my knees. 

I'm wondering if I'll have to wear an undershirt beneath it when Beth says, "Try it on!"

I scowl but oblige her and to my surprise, I love it.  The fabric is so soft and sexy, it gently moves beneath my skin and the bottom flows when I move. I don't realize I'm smiling until I hear Bethany clear her throat behind me.  I meet her emerald eyes in the mirror and immediately frown when I see the stilettos she's holding.

"That's where I draw the line.  You know I can't walk in that high of a heel. I've got black flats I can wear."

Beth pleads with me until I put them on and gasp at my reflection.  I'm no longer a girl, instead, I'm staring at a sexy grown woman. I know at the age of twenty-six I've technically been an adult for eight years but I still don't feel like it. 

I'm still a single virgin girl, who still spends her evenings reading by the fire, goofing off with her friends and toiling away at a night club.  Nothing has really changed since I abruptly aged to an adult. I'm a bit wiser and I'm living on my own without support from my mother, but I'm still the same me I was at eighteen.  Maybe I just discovered my true self too early and the transition to adulthood has been so long gone, I missed it. What actually makes you an adult? Bills? Living on your own? I'm not sure.

I sigh in defeat, "You know if I wear these heels you have to stay with me the entire night because I won't be able to walk without help."

Bethany darts out of the room and returns with almost an identical pair but they've got a strap that goes around the ankle.  I slide those on instead and realize the strap holds my feet in so it's much easier to walk. I still have to work on my balance but I can at least I can walk without any help.

I curl my hair into soft ringlets that land in the middle of my back.  The eyeshadow I chose is dark around the outer edges of my eyes and blends with a lighter color towards the center.  Satisfied with my appearance, I apply a final coat of mascara to my lengthy lashes and stand back to take one last look.

The doorbell rings and Beth hurries to answer it.  When I step out of the bathroom and into the hall I gasp when I see Sam dressed in an all-black fitted pinstripe suit.  He walks towards me while giving me a bright beautiful smile and lifts me up then spins me around.

"You look beautiful as always!" He declares as he sets me down.

I can't stop my face from blushing as I clutch his arms to regain my balance. "Thank you, you look quite dapper yourself!  I don't think I've seen you in a suit before."

Sam gives me another bright smile then links his arm in mine and we head towards the door.  I'm not sure if it's just a friendly gesture or if he noticed me struggling to stay upright in these heels.

WE ARRIVE at a beautiful estate with a circle driveway in Scottsdale.  They've actually hired a valet for their own house party. I wonder who's house this actually is. 

The valet helps me out of the car and I realize this might just be the fanciest party I've ever been to.  I feel like Cinderella arriving at the crystal palace. Should I have dressed in a gown instead of a simple black dress?

We enter the estate and I'm immediately awestruck by the view.  Vaulted ceilings, chandeliers, and elegant white marble floors with little specks of gold line our way to the rest of the guests.  Beth seems awestruck like me but Sam seems to fit right in. He walks towards Alex and Christian who are in conversation with another couple and shakes their hands in greeting.

A huge friendly smile spreads across Christian's face as he grabs my shoulder and gives it a shake.  "This feisty woman's name is Maggie Carpenter. Maggie I'd like you to meet Nate Spurr and Colleen Mason." 

"The Nate Spurr who wrote Time of Our Lives?" I exclaim a little too excitedly.

"That's the one!" Christian says proudly while smacking Nate on the back. While Colleen seems to have an air of confidence surrounding her, Nate seems to not enjoy the spotlight.

Nate sheepishly nods but smiles at me and shakes my hand.

Internally struggling with keeping down all my questions, I wonder if I should bring up points from his books but the reminder of how Jackson freaked out on me keeps me from going into detail. 

"I love your books." I smile, pushing down giddy emotions.

"Thank you," Nate replies and says something else I don't quite catch as my eyes link up with a man standing alone in the corner of the room. 

Jackson.

Jackson's hands are in his jean pockets and he's leaning against the far corner wall. He's watching me with an unreadable stony expression.  I quickly glance away. I'd rather him not see me gawking, after all I am the, 'innocent girl who just couldn't tear her eyes from the devil.'

Ugh, please.

I look for Sam and Beth and realize they've already started mingling with other guests.  My legs start to feel like jello so I politely excuse myself from Nate and stroll over to Sam.

Sam graciously wraps his arm around my waist and I'm thankful for his unknowing support.  I glance back towards Jackson and see his jaw straining while he glares at Sam's arm around me.  His diamond eyes meet mine and I quickly glance away, but not before I feel a few butterflies let loose in my stomach.

"What do you think Maggie?"  My eyes catch Sams and I realize I've been zoning out.

"Are you hungry?" He asks.  I nod and let him lead me to the nearest hors d'oeuvre table. 

The table is lined along the wall with dozens of fancy treats.  But as I stare at all of the options I realize I can't eat. Seeing Jackson stirred something in me and I completely lost my appetite. So I grab a glass of champagne from a nearby waiter and Sam smirks at me but does the same. 

"Not hungry huh?" He asks, but before I can answer Jackson is standing next to us. 

"Maggie, can I talk to you?"  Jackson says sheepishly.

I've never seen him nervous this way.  I suppose I should add shy to his list of personalities, they're so hard to keep track of. 

He's got his lip ring between his teeth and his hands in his jean pockets. His white V neck is tight enough where I can see the shape of his muscles stretching the shirt and I can see a faint outline of a large tattoo on his ribs.

I thought Bethany said this was a black-tie event?  I guess Jackson didn't get the memo, or he doesn't care.

Sam eyes me with one brow raised as if he's just as curious as I am. 

I shouldn't.

I nod a quick yes and Jackson guides me out to a balcony with his hand gently on my lower back.  I swear my body comes alive when he touches me, even when I don't want it to.

On the balcony, I quickly step away from his touch and keep about five feet between us so that I'm sure to keep my head about me.  I still feel my lower back tingling from where his hand was. 

I quickly chug the rest of my Champagne for some liquid courage then clutch the glass close to my chest as I watch him nervously think of what to say.  I'm not talking first, that's for sure.

I'm about to decide to go back inside when he takes a step closer and says, "I'd like to apologize and start over."

I let out a puff of laughter, "I'm sorry Charming, but I just don't think we can just start over. You're insensitive, rude and- and-"

"I think we got off on the wrong foot last week." He interjects.

"You mean after you insinuated that I was pathetic?  And now you want to, what? Start over and be friends?" I guffaw.

"Maggie, I'm sorry I didn't mean to come off like an ass.  I just have some strong opinions."

"And a temper." I add angrily.

He grants me a boyish smirk and nods, "I'd say I'm not the only one with a temper."

Realizing I'm less than a foot from him now, I take a few steps back and take a deep breath.  "You're infuriating." I breathe through clenched teeth.

He smiles and takes a small sip of his champagne, "You like it though, don't you?"

I roll my eyes and snatch his champagne from his hands, then down it. I expected him to get mad but he just laughs and the sound reverberates through me, lightening my chest.

What a beautiful sound.

Jackson raises his pointer finger to ask me for one second and disappears back inside. I start to question what I'm doing out here with him. I just told myself I won't be one of those women who flock to him only to get burned and what the hell am I doing? I'm standing I outside in the cold listening to him tease me.

He's probably inside right now making a backup plan with some poor girl in case I don't accept his apology.

That's it, I'm going back inside.

But before I can flee the back door opens. Jack walks through the door holding an entire tray of Champagne and despite my earlier resolve to be strong, I can't help but laugh.

"Really?" I laugh again holding my stomach.

"Well you looked thirsty and I can't have that now can I?" He beams at me while he lays the tray carefully on a table outside.

"How did you get away with grabbing an entire tray?" I ask through a giggle and wide eyes. I think the champagne is starting to loosen me up.

"It certainly took some convincing." He winks at me and hands me a glass.

"Oh, you're smooth Charming." I tease and he raises his glass in a mock toast. The laughter fades and the quiet slips through, allowing my mind to wander.

"You confuse me." I say quietly.

"I confuse myself." He admits with a smirk.

"One second you're a total jerk and the next you're being so charming. You're playing me hot and cold." I say in all seriousness.

He leans back casually with one arm slung against the railing and takes his lip ring between his teeth.  I can't keep my eyes off his lush lips and he knows it.

"When I said I confuse myself, I meant it." He looks down at his glass and swirls it a bit. "Something about you is so addicting.  Try as I might, I can't stay away."

His lovely accent lures me into his trap and I'm completely entranced.  Our conversation has unexpectedly turned much more serious and his diamond eyes never leave mine.

"What?" I let out a small gasp.  I feel my heart rise in my chest, causing a lump in my throat.

"I felt it the moment I laid eyes on you, you gave me a taste Maggie and I want more." I can feel the room start to spin around us. I down my glass of champagne and reach for another but he stops me. "I know you feel it too."

"But, you don't believe in love." I say as I stare into my empty champagne glass.

His jaw clenches but he regains control after a deep breath.  I want to ask who hurt him so badly that he can't even discuss it but I bite the inside of my cheek instead.

"I don't.  And who said anything about love?" He teases.

"So what's your end game then?" I ask confused.

"Why do you need a label? Can't you just live in the moment without defining everything?"

He inches closer as he says, "Blondie back there, is he your man?" I glance towards the house and see Sam carefully keeping his eyes on us.  I smile at him to let him know I'm okay and he turns towards someone who approaches him.

"No, we're just really close friends." I say feeling a warmth in my heart as I mention him.  Not the kind of heat that Jackson makes me feel, it's more like the feeling of a safe warm blanket.

"Well, you should make sure he knows that." He says with a smirk.

I look back at Jackson and crinkle my brows.  "He obviously already knows."

"Mags, you're leading him on unintentionally or not."  He so casually states.

"You don't know what you're talking about." I spit.

"Right," Jackson's smiling now, "So if I kiss you right now, you think that won't hurt him?"

My stomach flutters and my cheeks flush.  I glance towards Sam who's eyeing me looking for any signs of distress.  I'm conflicted, I don't want to be one of those girls he uses and tosses away. What is Sam thinking? Jackson is less than an inch from me, his hand is gently cupping my face while his thumb strokes my cheek. 

"Do you want me to stop?" Jackson whispers. I don't say a word because I should make him stop but I don't want him to. Instead, I close my eyes involuntarily and feel my whole body on fire. I'm completely intoxicated by his presence.

I can't think with him so close to me, that's why I decided on the five-foot rule but I've already broken it. I'm a moth to his flame and I'm powerless to stop what's about to happen. Suddenly my mind empties of all other thoughts as I feel the heat from Jackson's breath so close to my lips.  I have never wanted anything more than to taste him right now.

Jackson gently places a kiss on my forehead, then the tip of my nose and I feel a shiver down my spine as his lips gently graze mine.

"Tell me to stop." He breathes and I slightly shake my head no. I don't want him to stop. His lips are so close I can feel the cool metal touching mine and I can taste a mixture of mint and champagne on his breath. I feel a longing for him in every inch of my body.

"Jack.." I manage to plead right before he crashes his lips into mine. I wrap my arms around his neck and in the process drop my champagne glass. It hits the floor and shatters to a million pieces but I don't care and he doesn't seem to either.

The kiss is feverish and frantic and I can taste a mixture of mint and metal from his lip ring.  I grab a fist full of his hair and he lets out a low groan. I moan at his responsiveness and his tongue slips into my mouth and swirls mine.

One of his hands reaches around to grip my ass and it makes me jump.  He lets out a low chuckle that vibrates against my lips and his hand goes back to my waist.

Jack spins our bodies, pinning me against the railing. I can feel him stiffening against me as he trails kisses down my neck to my collar bone.  Each kiss ignites a new fire in me and I'm aching for more.

Just as his mouth comes crashing back to mine the back door starts to open.