After Jackson disposed of the sheets and we took turns showering, he laid out a couple extra blankets to cover the mattress. It wasn't much, in fact the blankets hardly covered his California King, but it was enough for us to snuggle on without laying on bare mattress. 

My body is exhausted and thankfully I had recently smuggled tampons in my purse just in case.  I don't think I'd be able to make it to a convenience store tonight.

In the comfortable embrace of his strong arms, my mind quiets and I fall effortlessly asleep. 

Dreams are still weird

My sporadically reoccurring dream comes to me and I'm once again on the playground with my bucket. I'm, as usual, waiting in line to fill it with water but this time I realize, I'm not a child anymore. I'm my twenty-six you're old self, standing in a playground surrounded by children waiting in line for the water fountain.

I look around at all the tiny tots running chaotically in circles, paying me no mind and I'm extraordinarily perplexed as to how I got here. After the mild confusion over fiddling with sandcastles as a grown woman passes, my subconscious throws me for a loop. 

Instead of hearing my father call my name, Jackson waits silently on the other end of the fence.  All thoughts of sandcastles dissipate from my mind and my only thought is, 'I'm going to lose him too.' 

My breath hitches and the world around me spins rapidly, blurring my surroundings and I can only focus on him. I drop the pale and I run to him as fast as my legs will take me, however I'm always stuck running in slow motion.  My clumsy feet trip over invisible obstacles and I crash into the sand multiple times.

I try my best to get to him but I'm too short to climb over the fence so I yank on it, trying to tear it down.  I scream his name at the top of my lungs, desperate to reach him but he turns to face me and somehow, I instantly know I've lost him.  A sad smile crosses his face before he turns to leave and panic rips through me. 

I fall to my knees drenched in sweat and the sand sticks to my skin. The oxygen has been sucked out of this world and I'm gasping for breath.

WHEN I WAKE UP, I'm dripping in sweat and completely disoriented. My body is weighed down from Jackson's limp body on draped over mine.  The heat radiating off his skin is overwhelmingly hot which I'm assuming is the reason I'm soaked in sweat.

I almost don't want to move him because he looks so innocent like this.  His usual scowl is replaced with a peaceful smile which makes me long to place a soft kiss on his lips.

At some point in the night he must have put his lip ring back in, which makes me happy to see.  It was initially such a foreign object in our make-out sessions, but I quickly began associating it as part of his lips and when it was absent I missed it.

I gently roll him over, his arm is still draped over my chest and he subconsciously pulls me closer in his sleep.  I place a soft kiss on the shiny metal object protruding on the corner of his mouth and he smiles. 

"I knew you were awake." I lie. The tip of my finger grazes the metal ring and he lets out a whisper of a moan, still resisting the urge to open his eyes.

"I missed your lip ring last night." I say and I'm rewarded with another smile.  My heart flutters and I realize I would do anything to keep him smiling.

"I love you."  I whisper, even though I know I'll never hear it back. 

I know he loves to hear it by the way I can feel his heart vigorously pound against his chest, a smile crosses his face, or when his lips become desperate to find mine.  If I never hear it back I'll be okay, as long as he knows he's loved with every inch of my soul.

Jack's eyes flutter open and his thumb caresses my face, then he pulls me closer for a tender kiss. 

"I don't deserve you."  He mumbles into my lips. 

"Quit saying that." I exclaim and cover his mouth with my hand.  "Just embrace the fact that I completely, entirely, unselfishly, truly love you."

Jack doesn't bother moving my hand, instead, he lifts me onto him so that I'm straddling against his morning wood.  I let out a gasp and collapse to his chest when I discover I'm still sore from last night. 

He rolls me over and props himself on his elbows, suddenly wide awake.  "Are you okay?" He asks with panic laced in his voice.

"Yes, yes, I'm okay I'm just a little sore from last night." I can't help but smile at his sudden interest in my wellbeing.

His breath calms a bit and he kisses my shoulder.  "Thank god."

"Worrywart."  I tease him with an Eskimo kiss.

"You're lucky you're still sore or I'd punish you for teasing me." He jokes with one brow raised as he pinches my ass.

"I'm going to shower then I'm making you breakfast." He announces after he kisses my forehead and gets up from the bed. 

I watch him as he heads to the bathroom and starts taking off his white Hanes shirt.  He simply pulls it over his head with just his thumb and forefinger and I find myself gawking at the taut muscles in his back.  How can something so simple be so sexy?

When I hear the shower start running I stretch out in his bed and stare at his ceiling remembering fond memories of last night.

He's usually so passionate and rough, but last night he was so gentle with me.  We shared the most intimate connection I've ever experienced with another person and it wasn't only for the fact that I lost my virginity. 

It was as if when he was exploring my body, he was also exploring my heart.  Last night wasn't about an end goal like having an orgasm or just feeling good.  It was us becoming extremely emotionally vulnerable to one another, to the point that tears were infiltrating our kisses with their salty flavor. 

I'm sure Jackson wasn't just adding another notch in his belt by the way he was so worried about hurting me and making sure I was okay.   My heart swells when I think about how tender he was with me.

Jackson soon enters the room wearing only a white towel that lays slightly beneath the deep v shape on his pelvis.  I watch beads of water trickle down his chest and moisten my lips which have suddenly become parched. 

Our eyes meet and I feel warmth flow to my cheeks as I realize he's been watching me gawk at him.  Then I realize, I probably look like a hot mess since I just woke up while he looks like a god.

Embarrassed, I jump up instantly, and head for the shower. "My turn."

He catches my arm and pulls me to him, planting a soft kiss on my lips.  The connection of our mouths sends a shock surging through my body, waking me up before I've even had my morning coffee. 

Jackson pulls away and watches my face turn a bright shade of pink.  He lets out an angelic laugh right before he smacks my ass then makes his way to the kitchen, leaving me standing alone attempting to steady my heart. 

How can he so easily mess with my nerves?  It's as if every atom in my body was made to react with his, like water and oil gently caressing but never mixing fully.

After the shower, I see he's left out another one of his Hanes t-shirts for me and seeing how I wasn't wearing any undergarments last night, he's left out a pair of boxer briefs as well. 

His boxer briefs are a black stretchy material and despite the awkward hole in the middle that I put my finger through and play with, they seem to fit okay.  I roll the elastic down like a pair of soft shorts and throw his t-shirt over my head. 

"Not bad," I say in the mirror then jump when I feel Jack's arms reach around my waist.  His arms wrap around me and I meet his gaze in the mirror.  His diamond eyes gaze into mine and in that moment it feels as if he's telling me everything I want to hear without even a single word.

Instinctively, I reach above my head and start playing with the long hair behind his head.  I feel the hairs on the back of his neck start to stand up and he whispers, "Breakfast is ready." Then he takes the bottom of my earlobe between his teeth and I close my eyes.

Everything in this moment is perfect and I can't picture myself ever wanting anything more.  I turn to face him and place a thoughtful kiss on his lips before he leads me to the kitchen. 

He's made scrambled eggs and bacon and the room is filled with the mouth-watering smell.  I take a bite of the bacon and moan. 

"This is perfect." I open my eyes and meet his.  "So good."

He rewards my compliment with a half-smile and I ask, "So when are we seeing your parents today?"

His eyes drop from mine and he mumbles, "Tonight at five." 

He clearly isn't looking forward to spending time with his parents and I don't understand why. They seemed like such lovely people, especially since he told everyone they were his inspiration for writing his nominated book, After All. 

I check the clock and realize it's one in the afternoon now.  "Shoot, you have to take me to my place so I can get ready." 

"You should just start leaving your stuff here." He says as his fingers nervously run through his hair. 

"You want me to leave extra clothes here?" I ask with wide eyes.

"Yeah and maybe a toothbrush and some extra underwear.  Although I really like the way you look in my clothes."  He smirks.

We are in such a good place now.  Originally he wouldn't even commit to a date, but now he'd like me to leave clothes here.  He really seems different and my heart swells when I think, maybe this really might work between us.

"You don't want me to use your toothbrush?" I tease.  "I mean it's not like your tongue hasn't explored every inch of my mouth already."

We share a laugh and he asks, "Have you thought about coming to work for Redwolf yet?"

"Jackson," I sigh. 

"I've already got the perfect position ready for you to fill." He interjects.

My brows raise in question.  "An office and now you've picked out a position for me huh?"

"Yep, I know you well Mags." He smirks.

I take his bait.  "Okay Charming, let's see how well you think you know me.  What perfect position have you picked out? And so help me if you say missionary." I kid.

"You'll be a literary agent of sorts." He says with a cocky smile. "You'll start off slow of course.  You can keep working at the club part-time but when you come in a few days a week you'll be sorting through transcripts and finding excellent books for Red-wolf to publish."

I abruptly realize that my jaw is hanging wide open.  I quickly close it and continue listening to his proposition.

"Eventually you'll become a full-time Literary Agent and you'll be writing contracts and representing authors, helping them plan their career."  He says.  He's trying to remain professional while he offers me a job, but he's also trying desperately to hide a cocky grin.

This seems too perfect.  How has he planned my future so easily when I have been struggling for years?  Despite my love for my coworkers, I never intended working at The Palace to be a career move.  The transition would be easy, it's right next door to the club and I do like Christian, which is good because he would be my boss.

I'm still mulling everything over in my head when I realize his brows are raised and he's resting on his elbows anxiously awaiting an answer.

"I'd get paid to read?"  I gasp.

"Well yes, that's how it will start.  Don't be so excited, you'll have to sort through a lot of bullshit before you get to something good."  He says with a cocky smile.

"It's perfect." I laugh. "I guess you know me better than I know myself."

"Is that a yes?" He asks unable to hide the excitement in his tone.

I take a second to think, "Yes, I think it is." I surprise myself.

He jumps out of his stool, lifts me up by my waist and spins me around in excitement.