"Honey,"

I heard a voice in the distance.

"Vic?"

I tried to open my eyes, but it was like they were glued together.

I felt someone shake my shoulder and say my name again. Flashes of different moments passed through my head, I heard him calling for me in the distance, I saw him smiling at me and taking my hand. But then his hand turned into dust and I felt myself being yanked from wherever place I was in.

"Vic, wake up."

I slowly started to recognize the voice. It was my mom. I heard her asking me how drunk I was and I wanted to laugh, but I was just so tired. I spent at least ten seconds trying to get my body to move and that's when everything that happened came back to me in another flash, certainly waking me up for good.

I opened my eyes slowly and squinted at the light coming through the windows. I was still on the couch. I felt like shit. And for all the wrong reasons.

"What time is it?" I asked groggily, sitting up on the couch.

"Eight. Just how drunk are you?" She asked and crossed her arms. "You know this path you're taking isn't really ideal, boy."

I shook my head. "I'm not drunk, ma. Not in the slightest."

"Oh don't even lie to me Victor," she scolded. "I know what you get up to on Fridays."

"I swear." I sighed and looked up at her. I saw her trying to figure out just what was wrong with me, but she couldn't possibly know what it was, and I wouldn't give it away. I couldn't tell her what had been eating at me for the last couple of weeks and I hated that. I hated keeping things from her, but I just didn't want to further my pain with speaking about it.

"Honey, is everything alright?" She asked and I closed my eyes.

"I'd rather not talk about it," I looked down. "Not yet at least."

She put a hand on my shoulder, I knew she wasn't going to ask anymore questions and I love her for that. "I'll go make breakfast, okay? You go take a bath or try to sleep some more in your room."

I nodded slowly. I didn't want to go to my room, but I stood up anyway and walked up the stairs.

Upon entering my room I saw Kellin still sprawled on my bed, his clothes from last night wrinkled and dirty. Just the sight of him made my stomach drop once again and I tried to ignore it as I walked to my bathroom to brush my teeth and take a much needed shower.

When that was done, Kellin was still out and now I was really pondering on the idea of just waking him up to send him home. I couldn't think about the possibility any further though, because his phone started ringing, and I swear his ringtone was so fucking loud I bet even my neighbors heard it.

Kellin woke up with a startle and instantly sat up searching for his phone. I tried to figure out just how sober he'd gotten overnight, but I really couldn't. When he finally found the device I heard him curse under his breath. It was probably the parents checking in on him, and I was right.

"Mom, hey," he said as he took the call, and surprisingly he didn't sound that drunk. You could only tell if you really paid attention. I doubt his mom would.

He spoke quickly, telling her that he was fine and at Justin's house like he said he would be. One day all this lying would catch up to him, just like one did last night.

I leaned into the doorframe of the bathroom and waited for him to finish the call. He hadn't acknowledged my presence at all, but I knew he knew I was there.

Once he finally dropped the phone into the mattress, he pressed his hands to his face and fell forward to his knees. At first I thought he was crying, but then I realized he was groaning in pain and I rolled my eyes because all I wanted to do was sit beside him and comfort him. He must be feeling awful. I didn't know just how much he had to drink, but I'm pretty sure he can't be feeling so great right now.

"You know what my mom would tell you?" I said walking to my bed and sitting at the edge of it. "She'd say tú te lo buscaste."

He looked up at me then, there were bags under his eyes and the skin around them had reddened, his lips were chapped, the cheek where he was slapped was still a little swollen. Girl knew how to fight, for sure. And despite all that, he still looked beautiful. And I mentally rolled my eyes again.

"I've never heard you speak Spanish before," he said, he sounded buzzed still, but I could tell he was actually here now. I shrugged.

"I don't do it much."

He didn't say anything back and instead looked down at his hands. He probably felt like a car ran him over.

"What does it mean?" He finally asked and I thought of a way to explain it.

"It means you brought this on yourself, whatever happens to you it's your own doing, like the way you're feeling now, well, basically it's your own fault," I chuckled lightly. "Just like the rest of things you do or don't."

He nodded still looking down. At least a minute passed and he didn't say anything back, so I was about to stand up and go downstairs to find him some aspirin, when he spoke up again.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I'm sorry for last night and for the other day and for being such an asshole and everything."

"It's okay," I replied quietly, even though it wasn't completely okay, but he just looked genuinely remorseful so I gave it to him. He shook his head, though.

"No, it's not. I fucked up, Vic." He kept looking at his hands. "I ruined it with Melissa and I ruined it with you and I literally outed myself and you in front of everyone, I just messed everything up."

"You were drunk," I said. "You can say it was all a joke."

After all, I didn't expect for him to go on with me or anything. We were nothing now. I just had to keep telling myself that and convince my heart to feel nothing.

He shook his head again.

"But it wasn't a joke," he whispered and I almost didn't catch it, but I did. I was pretty sure he was talking about that part and I could feel my stomach turn.

I didn't say anything.

"I meant it, Vic." He spoke up. "I don't know how, but I figured it out that day in the lockers. I just know, I know this is real, or was real... And I went and ruined the only thing that made me happy for once with my fears and, and I might be a little drunk still, but you have to believe that it wasn't a joke and I wasn't lying-"

"Hey, hey" I interrupted his little rant, and carefully took one of his hands. "Breathe."

He kept his head down low and closed his eyes, and it took everything in me not to kiss him and hold him and make him feel better. He literally said he wasn't fully conscious yet, I had to be the rational one this time.

"Sleep some more," I said, lightly rubbing my thumb against his skin. "We can talk about this later."

He looked up at me and I gave him a tiny smile.

"Vic, do you hate me?" He whispered, squeezing my hand.

I tilted my head to a side. "Do you really think I could ever hate you?" I asked, and it was the truth. I'll probably be stuck on this kid right here forever, whatever ends up happening.

"Okay," he nodded and detached our hands. He laid back on the bed and I couldn't help it, I kissed his forehead after standing up.

"I'll bring you some aspirin, alright?"

He nodded again, eyes already closed. And I headed downstairs to get him what he needed.

***

Three hours later Kellin was still sleeping and in a way I wish I was too. The worst thing I did was open Instagram, thanks to a Facetime call from Jenna. Apparently everyone had recorded and taken pictures of the little moment from last night and it was all over that stupid social media. The worst one was the one of Melissa slapping Kellin, where someone had actually added some dumb music and words over it. People really didn't have anything better to do.

I knew that everyone was saying I was gay all over the comments, but I didn't give a shit anymore. I mean guess I was, after all and I wouldn't lie about it if anyone asked. People should start caring more about, I don't know, pollution or wars we don't even know are happening right now, than some boy's sexuality. I didn't know how Kellin would take all this, though.

I had talked to Jenna earlier about the whole situation. She called like twenty minutes after I talked to Kellin, and she was pissed I hadn't told her sooner, but she'd get over it. She understood why we hid this though. The internet right now was proof enough. Neither Jaime or Tom had said anything to me yet, but I didn't think much of that.

I reported every post I saw of last night and hoped for them to be taken down soon. I just didn't know what would happen now. Jenna had asked me if I loved him too. I told her I didn't know. But I knew. I knew I did. I just didn't know what to do about it. I've never been in love before, not for real. And everything was so complicated right now and my heart and my brain were in total different places.

I ended up telling my mom everything too. I just couldn't deal with all the secrets anymore. So we sat down in the living room and I spilled everything. At first I thought she was going to be pissed, but instead she comforted me and told me it would be okay. I loved her even more for that. And I wondered why I hadn't told her in the first place. She didn't even flinch when said I was talking about a boy. She was truly the best. And I believed her when she said it'd be okay. It just had to be.

After our little chat, she went to fix us something for lunch to the kitchen and I stayed in the couch. I didn't want to pick up my phone again and torture myself more with what had happened, so I decided to watch something on Netflix instead.

I was just starting a movie when I saw Kellin coming down the stairs. He had put on his jacket again and looked... well, he probably felt worse than how he looked.

"Hey," I said once he reached the bottom stair. He looked at me and his expression held so much confusion. He seemed so uncomfortable, I hated it.

"Hey..." he said slowly. "Um, I should, probably go." He started walking to the front door, but I stood up to stop him.

"No, no, Kellin. You need to at least eat something. How are you feeling?"

He avoided my gaze, I could tell he was ashamed. And that's how I knew he was finally back to normal, sobered up and washed with the embarrassment of what'd happened last night.

"I really have to go home, Vic." He whispered.

I nodded. "I know, and I'll take you. But you have to drink some water at least."

He closed his eyes and with a sigh went to sit on the couch. I hurried to the kitchen and fixed him a glass of water, picked more aspirins and managed not to answer any of my mom's questions, but convinced her to stay in the kitchen. I didn't want her to meet Kellin when he was like this.

When I came back Kellin was on his phone and from the looks of it, he'd seen everything all over Instagram already. Dammit. I wanted to warn him first.

I carefully sat beside him and handed him the water. He drank it quickly and then did the second most unexpected thing in less than 24 hours. He started crying into my shoulder, and I could literally feel my heart breaking into millions of pieces inside me. I quickly placed my arms around him and let him cry it out.

"It's going to be alright," I whispered while I traced circles into his back. He cried until he couldn't anymore and I stayed there, trying to comfort him as much as I could.

"I'm so stupid," he mumbled after he calmed a little and sat back up, drying his face with his hands.

I shook my head. "You're not."

"Why would they post all that on the internet?" He sniffled.

"They're all idiots," I looked at him.

He shook his head and closed his eyes.

"I shouldn't have drank so much," he sighed and covered his eyes with his hands.

"Okay, listen," I tried to reason with him. "All the people laughing at this have done worse things while drunk, they're all hypocrites with nothing better to do, don't feel bad because of a one-time thing."

He kept his head down and then whispered something I almost didn't catch. "I just wanted to get you out of my head."

I felt myself get warm in the face and I could see he was blushing too. He looked at me and gave me a sad smile. "Guess that didn't work in my favor, did it?"

I laughed lightly and shook my head. "Guess not."

He kept his gaze on me and I noticed his eyes drop to my lips for a second. My heart felt like it was on fire, but for some reason I couldn't move. I really thought he was going to kiss me, but he did something better. He said,

"I'm sorry," meeting my eyes again. "I think I said it earlier, but I really am. For everything, for last night, for the other day, for being such an asshole to Melissa and to you."

"I know," I replied, still looking at him. "You better tell her that too."

He nodded. "I know. I will. I just don't think she wants to see me right now."

"Yeah... how's your cheek?" I asked teasingly and that finally got him to smile a little.

"I totally deserved that," he touched his reddened skin and shook his head. "I'm such an idiot."

"Stop saying that," I said. "You're not."

He looked down to his hands. "Can I ask you something?"

I kept my eyes on him, "shoot."

"Why? Why are you so good to me? After... everything?" He said slowly. And I chuckled to myself, I should also be asking myself that.

I reached out and put a lock of hair behind his ear, earning a look from him.

"I think you already know the answer to that." I whispered and I saw him blush to his ears. I was probably turning red too, I felt warm all over and I couldn't believe I was about to say it.

He lifted his head slowly and kept his eyes on me. "...what?"

I gave him a smile. It was now or never.

"I love you, too."

There, I said it. I finally admitted it to him and to myself, at the same time. My heart felt like bursting, but it felt amazing. I felt electric.

His eyes opened wide and a tiny frown started to form on his face. His mouth opened, trying to say something, but he couldn't find words. His cheeks were pink, and not from the impact of a slap. He looked so damn cute. And I really loved him, I couldn't even believe it.

"You..." He said once he found his voice. "You don't have to say it just because I did," he spoke lowly and I shook my head.

"I'm not lying," I told him and his frown finally shifted to a smile and I grinned at him.

"Fuck, Vic," he laughed nervously, which made me smile more. "You're going to make me cry again." He covered his face with his hands and I took the chance to sit closer to him and take them. 

"There's no need for that," I said and he turned his head towards me.

We stared at each other for like five seconds.

"You're serious?" He asked, and I nodded.

"Of course," I started, but he interrupted me

"God, come here," he leaned into me in a swift motion and planted his lips on mine. And now my heart truly exploded.

I kissed him back immediately, running my fingers through his hair, wanting to feel him closer. I felt him wrap his arms around my shoulders as he shifted on the couch and straddled my hips. He kissed me like his life depended on it and I didn't mind one bit. Everything I felt was intensified, I could feel everything all over my body. And I hoped he felt the same way too.

"I missed you so much," he breathed out and kissed me again.

"Me too," I gasped, pulling away for half a second. I could feel all that had happened finally fading away, and I just knew we would be okay. We just had to.

We were trying to catch our breath and he gave me this look that made all my insides melt. He traced his fingers softly against the skin of my face and I felt myself get warmer.

"You love me," he grinned at me and I smiled.

"And you love me," I replied, feeling like I was on top of the world.

He nodded and smiled brightly.

"I do," he said and wasted no time and kissed me again.

I pulled him into me and smiled into the kiss. I knew we had to stop eventually with my mom literally in the room next to us, but I still decided to enjoy this a little bit longer. I had gone through so many days without this, that now I never wanted to let go.

I felt his hands trace down my neck to my shoulders, squeezing them. His kisses started to deepen and I knew he was about to start grinding on me and I couldn't help the laugh that escaped me.

"Okay, okay," I gasped again, pulling away from his mouth, stopping his actions. "You should probably know my mom is in the kitchen."

I swear he leapt off me faster than the blink of an eye and I laughed so much at his mortified face.

"Vic!" he whispered and looked around while I kept laughing at him. "And you're saying that just now!"

I laughed because he was just too cute.

"And you're making fun of me!" He whined and I shook my head and stood up to stand in front of him.

"Never," I pecked his lips and gave him a smirk. "But it's true, she's here and I knew where you were taking that."

He blushed furiously and I grinned at him. "Oh God, sorry." He mumbled.

I shook my head and took his hands, he looked down and said, "So maybe now I do have to go home, right?"

"Not if you don't want to," I whispered.

"Okay, then I'll stay here forever," he replied with a grin.

"Okay," I grinned as well.

Then his smile died down a little. "They're going to kill me." He said.

"They won't," I assured him. "You told them you were alright."

"What if Melissa's parents talked to them already?"

I kissed his forehead. "Then you just have to tell them the truth."

"Yeah, I'll just go up to them and say 'hey remember Melissa? Well she was never truly my girlfriend, but I have good news, I'm gay and now I have a boyfriend instead' how's that sound?"

Oh.

"Hmm, boyfriend, huh?" I grinned at him in amusement.

He looked at me like a deer caught in the headlights and it was the most adorable thing ever. I had really fallen for this boy.

"Uh, I mean, only if you're like, okay with that? I don't know, I didn't mean," he stammered and I laughed. Even after saying we loved each other, he decided to ask that.

"Kells, I'm definitely more than okay with that," I smiled. "Are you?"

He nodded instantly and I chuckled at his eagerness.

"Well, then you can tell your parents that." I chuckled and he rolled his eyes.

"Just take me home." He took my hand and walked us to the front door.

"Gladly, boyfriend." Upon hearing my words he turned to me and blushed.

"Okay, I could actually get used to that," he smiled and I nodded.

"Me too."

I let him walk outside and I quickly walked to the kitchen, where I saw my mom eating a salad in the table. She grinned knowingly at me and I blushed.

"Not a word. Yet." I said and she raised her hands.

"I wasn't even going to," she kept the smile on her face and I took the car keys from the counter, silently asking for permission.

"Go, go take your boyfriend home," she said with a last laugh.

I made my way to the door again where Kellin was waiting for me and smiled to myself.

Yeah, I could definitely get used to that now.

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The End