Chapter 17: Flower

"It's not like I want to date him," I mumbled.

Muli akong tumagilid at niyakap nang mahigpit ang unan. Hindi ako makatulog, binubulabog ako ng mga usapan namin kanina ni Arch. If he can't date someone he doesn't like, then that means he likes Cams, right? He still likes her. Hindi nga niya ipinagkaila na ayaw niya itong umalis kanina.

What if he tries to stop her on their date tomorrow? It's not impossible though. It will be a date and they have all the time in the world to talk about deep things and have an intimate conversation.

Madiin akong napapikit. "Stop overthinking!" inis na sabi ko sa sarili.

Overthinking kills the moment. And right now, I am totally ruined. I can't get it off my mind. There are so many what-ifs and it is scaring me. I'm so scared because I know... I am no match compare to her.

Nang matapagtanto na walang saysay ang pagpipilit ko na matulog ay bumangon ako sa kama. I need to breathe fresh air.

Kinuha ko ang isang unan at kumot saka lumabas ng kwarto ko. Palabas na sana ako sa likod ng bahay nang mapansin na hindi nakakandado ang pinto. Sumilip ako sa labas at tiningala ang tree house. Nakabukas ang ilaw at dahil sa katahimikan ng paligid ay dinig na dinig ko ang mga boses nina Archeon at Richeon.

"Wrong timing," bulong ko.

Imbes na bumalik ay dahan-dahan akong naglakad papunta sa bench sa ibaba ng puno. Umupo ako roon at niyakap ang dala kong unan at kumot. Tiningala ko ang maliit na bahay pero tanging ang sahig lang ang nakikita ko.

"That's not it!" dinig kong giit ni Rich sa itaas. "I just see her pretty, okay?"

Pumikit ako at dinama ang malamig na hangin ng gabi. Anong oras na ba? Bakit hindi pa tulog ang kambal na ito?

I heard Arch's joyful laugh. "That means you have a crush on her!"

"I also see lake as beautiful, is that means I also have a crush on that lake?" sarkastikong tugon ni Rich.

"You're ridiculous!" Umalingawngaw ang tawa ni Arch sa tahimik na paligid. "The more you deny it, the more I won't believe you."

"Aray!" dinig kong daing ni Rich. "Can't you talk without hitting me?"

Sino ba ang pinag-uusapan nila?

"Tell her then," sumeryoso ang boses ni Arch.

Hindi ko alam pero kinabahan ako sa sinabi ni Arch. I don't understand their topic but I am affected. Tell who, Arch?

"Fine!" ani Rich. "It's just a crush. Okay? I have a crush on her but that's it. And I don't think I should tell her. It's not something serious."

I heard Arch frowned. "Isasama kita bukas sa akin," anito. "Baka sakaling makahanap ka ng pagkakataon na umamin. I know it's hard, Rich. Pero gagaan ang pakiramdam mo kapag nakaamin ka. It's just a crush, you said it. There's nothing wrong with having a crush."

I am dying to know who is the girl they talk about.

"No," simpleng sagot ni Rich.

"Fine. Ako na ang magsasabi para sa 'yo," pananakot ni Arch.

"Kuya..."

Tumawa si Arch. "Cams will be happy to know. Trust me, Rich."

Lumuwag ang yakap ko sa unan nang marinig ang mga huling sinabi ni Arch. Kumuyom ang mga kamao ko at naglakad na pabalik sa aking kwarto. Masyadong mabibigat ang mga hakbang na ginagawa ko. Mabigat din ang paghinga ko.

It's her again...

Maybe I was right. I saw it. The way they treated her. I should have known. Cams has a special space in the home of Hardens whether she's here or not. While me? I'm just someone they need. I'm just someone Arch needs for Rich. What happens if they don't me anymore?

It hurts when I am being compared and it hurts even more when I am the one comparing myself to someone else.

I will never be as good as Cams. She may leave them tomorrow but she will always be remembered in this house.

I envy her.

Without trying so hard, I fell asleep. Nagising ako sa ingay ni Arch. Kumakatok ito sa labas ng pinto ko at may naririnig pa akong maingay na dala niya. Was that an alarm clock?

Sinubukan kong takpan ng unan ang tainga ko pero hindi umuubra. He was banging the door and calling my name every now and then.

Padabog na tumayo ako at binuksan ang pinto. Tumambad sa akin ang nakangiting mukha ni Arch habang pinapakita sa akin ang cell phone niya na nag-a-alarm. I don't understand the need of that. Sa boses niya pa lang ay gising na gising na ako.

"Today is our date!" he said like as if I forgot.

"It's freaking 5 in the morning!" Iyon ang nakita kong time sa cell phone niya. "Is this still your way to annoy me, huh? Oh, please. Give me a break!"

I was about to slam the door on his face when he blocked it using his arms.

"Uh no," he shook his head. "Get up. This will be a long day!"

"Mamaya pa ang date namin ni Trev!" asik ko. "I still need time to sleep."

Alam kong gano'n din sila. Mas nauna pa nga akong nakatulog sa kanila. If he wants this day to work then we should have enough sleep and high up our energy.

"Who says it's about that jerk?" He pushed the door, wide open. "You need to help me surprise Cams. Help me buy flowers for her. Help me find a place for a special date. I-I honestly don't know how to do this."

"You started this," madiin kong sabi.

"Y-yeah." He gulped. "Last lang 'to. Sige na."

He looked hopeless. Parang natunaw ang inis na nararamdaman ko dahil sa pambubulabog niya.

"Really?" I asked, hiding the pain from last night.

"Please?" he pleaded.

And he smiled... in his eyes.

He got me. Without complaining, I nodded. Without fighting back, I agreed.

"Thanks," he said. "Magbihis ka na, ah?" Saka na nito hinawakan ang busol ang dahan-dahan na isinara ang pinto. "Pakibilisan, ah?" pahabol pa nito.

Hindi lang pala ako ang ginising ni Arch, maging si Rich na wala namang lakad ay binulabog niya. Pansin ko pa ang antok sa mga mata ni Rich habang nagluluto. Hindi niya ako pansin dahil busy ito. As usual ay wala na naman itong damit, tanging ang apron lang ang bumabalot sa hubad niyang katawan.

"Good morning," I greeted him. Inayos ko ang tuwalya sa aking balikat. At binalingan ng tingin ang CR. Mukhang wala namang gumagamit.

Napalingon siya sa akin. "Hey. Binulabog ka rin niya 'no?" pang-aasar niya habang nakangiti.

I shrugged my shoulders.

"Sige na. Maligo ka na," aniya. "Tapos kumain muna kayo bago umalis." Saka na siya bumalik sa pagluluto.

I stood still, watching him.

I remember what happened last night. That woman is so lucky to have the Cheon Brothers. They both care for her and they both share the same sentiments towards her. Should I ask her how did she do it? I mentally laughed.

Maligamgam na tubig ang pinanligo ko. Masama ang pakiramdam ko ngayon. Kulang ako sa tulog. Iniisip ko pa lang na kailangan kong makipag-usap buong araw ay tinatamad na ako. I just want to stay here and watch the trees.

Pakiramdam ko ay hindi tumatalab sa akin ang maligamgam na tubig. Pinalitan ko ito ng malamig. Nanginginig ako habang nakatingin sa sarili sa salamin. Habang dumadausdos sa katawan ko ang tubig ay pinaragasa ko naman ang kamay ko sa bawat peklat sa katawan ko.

I traced the scar on my chest using my nail. Bahagyang ibinaon ko ito sa balat ko . I bit my bottom lip when it started to bleed. Ang malinaw na tubig ay nabahiran ng dugo. The blood started to run down my body.

Where did I even get this one?

I stopped the moment I finished tracing the pattern of scars. The old scar became fresh just like the first time I got it, but the funny part is... I enjoyed it now. No pain. No tears. Just blood.

"No one can take this home from me," I whispered, fists clenched.

We had breakfast together. Tahimik lang ako habang nakikinig sa mga bilin ni Rich. Sa dami ng mga sinabi niya ay naitindihan ko lang ay ang huwag masyadong pagabi at huwag uminom ng alak para sa aming kaligtasan. He was acting like a strict parent to his children.

"Amira?" Napakurap ako nang banggitin ni Rich ang pangalan ko. "Are you good?"

I didn't realize I was spacing out.

"Medyo puyat lang," sagot ko at nginitian siya.

"Do you want me to come with you?" sunod na tanong ni Rich. "You really don't look good at all."

Nilingon ako ni Arch at bahagyang tinitigan bago muling ibinalik sa phone ang atensyon. "She looks good, Rich. Stop being over dramatic."

"Stop," nagbabantang sabi ni Rich. "Gusto kong sumama para mabantayan ko siya."

Really, Rich? I doubt it. You are dying to come, not for me, but for her.

Uminom ako ng tubig nang may bumara sa lalamunan ko. Damn it. Sobrang bagsak ng pakiramdam ko. I feel so languid and it's annoying. Gusto kong ibalik ang sigla ng katawan ko para ma-enjoy ang araw na ito pero hindi ko alam kung paano.

We just finished our breakfast when we heard a loud automobile horn outside. Imposible namang si Tita na 'yon. At sa haba ng panahon na pananatili ko rito ay hindi ko pa narinig na bumusina ito kapag dumadating.

Don't tell me...

Mabilis na napatayo ako at napatakbo sa sala. Sumilip ako sa bintana. May itim na sasakyan ang nakaparada sa labas. No'ng bumaba ang bintana ay bumungad sa akin ang nakangiting mukha ni Trev. He was looking at my direction and winked.

"What? Ang aga," ani Rich na nasa tabi ko na pala at nakikisilip din. "Ganito ba talaga ang mga date?"

Napakurap ako. I thought Arch is too early but Trev is earlier.

Lalabas na sana ako nang may humawak sa braso ko. It was Arch who was staring at me, cold. Bumaba sang tingin ko sa kamay niya na mahigpit ang kapit sa akin.

"Why?" I asked him.

He shook his head. "You can't."

Nagtaas ako ng kilay. "I'm sorry but I don't think I can still help you, Arch."

"Why?"

"My date is here."

That's the time I brushed his hand off my arm and walked out of the house. Nilapitan ko si Trev na ngayon ay nakatayo na sa gilid ng sasakyan. Sa kanyang mga braso ay may bukilya ng bulaklak. He was wearing a gray polo shirt and a shade on his head. I admit it, this guy is hot.

"Ang aga," reklamo ko sa kanya.

Ngumiwi ako nang lumapit ang kanyang mukha sa pisngi ko. "Would you mind if I kiss you on your cheek? Just a peck," he whispered.

Nasinghap ko ang kanyang pabango. Without thinking, I nodded.

I felt his soft lips touched my right cheek. "You smell good." Saka na ito lumayo. "Ah, flowers for you, Amira. I don't know if you love roses but..."

Nakangiting tinanggap ko ang bukalya ng bulaklak. "T-thanks. Ngayon na ba tayo aalis?"

"If you wouldn't mind," he chuckled.

"Let's go!" Napatingin ako kay Arch na naunan nang sumakay sa sasakyan ni Trev. He sat beside the driver's seat and buckled himself with seatbelt. Tumingin ito sa amin at tumawa. "Hop in, guys. Mainit sa labas."

"Dude," Trev frowned.

Arch smirked. "This will be fun!"

Tumingin ako kay Trev na mukhang irita na. I don't think he can do something to make Arch get off the car. Mukha rin wala nang balak na lumabas si Arch. It's either we take him with us or we won't leave this place.

I let a heavy sigh.

"We need to help him find a flower and place for a date, Trev," I said. "May date din sila ni Cams."

Mas lalong sumama ang timpla ng mukha ni Trev. "Really? This is our date, Amira. It's his date and his problem. Not ours." He frustratedly caressed his left arm.

Binalingan ko ng tingin si Arch na mukhang wala na talagang plano na bumaba. He was wearing a white polo shirt. Really? I remember when he infuriated me yesterday just to choose between a black and brown polo shirt.

Wala na rin kaming nagawa ni Trev. Pumasok sa driver seat si Trev habang ako naman sa likod. Si Arch ay sinundan lang ako ng tingin. May mapang-asar na ngiti sa kanyang labi. I know, Arch. This is still your way to annoy me. I get it.

"May date din pala kayo ni Cams?" tanong ni Trev bago nag-umpisang iliko ang sasakyan. "Akala ko umalis na siya kahapon."

Bumaling ako ng tingin sa bahay. Nakatayo lang doon si Rich. Kumaway ako sa kanya pero mukhang hindi niya ako kita kaya wala siyang reaksyon.

"Yeah. It will be a surprise one," tamad na sagot ni Arch.

"You need a flower?" sunod na tanong ni Trev.

Bumaling sa akin si Arch. "Sa tingin ko ay pwede na ang hawak ni Amira."

Humigpit ang hawak ko sa bulaklak na bigay ni Trev.

"Dude, that's for Amira." Halata na talaga ang inis sa boses ni Trev. "Ihahatid na lang kita sa flower shop na pinagbilhan ko. There's a lot of choices there."

Sumimangot si Arch. "Fine. I want a fresh one for Cams."

Sumandal ako sa upuan at bumaling na lang ng tingin sa labas. Maganda ang araw ngayon at walang bahid ng parating na masamang panahon.

"You're looking for a place, too, right?" dinig kong tanong ni Trev. "Ano ba ang gusto mong lugar? I think I can help you. Just give me an idea."

"Saan ba kayo ni Amira?" tanong ni Arch.

Automatic na napatingin ako sa harap. There was something wrong with that question.

"Why?" Bahagyang tumingin si Trev sa akin bago binalik sa kalsada ang tingin. I think he felt it, too.

What are you planning, Archeon?

"I think I also want there," sagot ni Arch.

Bumagsak ang mga balikat ko. I kind of expected it but it still had me shocked.

"That's absurd!" Hindi ko napigilan ang bibig ko. "It's better to find a place somewhere else, Arch. Hindi naman limitado ang lugar na ito."

"Really?" Sumilip ang mapang-asar na ngiti sa labi niya. Oh, god. He's at it again. "But I trust Trev's taste. I want there, too. Hindi lang naman siguro kayo ang may karapatan na mag-date do'n, hindi ba?"

"Dude, you can't," ani Trev. "Give us some space."

"Fine," Arch gave up. I thought that was it. "But Amira will go with me so you can have all the fucking space in that hell place you're talking about."

Napanganga ako sa sinabi niya.

"Don't start with me, Arch," pagbabanta ni Trev. Napansin kong humigpit ang kapit niya sa manibela. "I'm helping you with your plan here but if you will end ruining mine, stop right now."

"Sa amin siya ipinagbilin, Trev." Bahagyang bumaba ang boses ni Arch. Mas kalmado ngayon. "You should understand I'm doing this for her sake. Sana alam mo rin na hindi ka pa niya gaanong kilala. I want her safe. To be comfortable."

"Do you think I am planning on harming her?" Kung mababa ang boses ni Arch, hindi nagpatinag si Trev. "You're impossible, dude. That's the purpose of this date. Para mas magkakilala kami."

"I know you don't think of that right now. But who knows?" Arch smirked.

Nakita ko ang pagbali ng leeg ni Trev. He was ready to start a fight and Arch seems doesn't care at all.

Damn it, Archeon!

"I'm good with that idea," agap ko sa namumuong sama ng panahon. "We can have a date on the same place. It's not a big deal as long as not on the same table."

Iyon lang ang nakikita kong solusyon sa problema na ito.

Trev frowned. "Oh, come on, Amira. We need to be alone and out of your brother's sights!"

"I am not her brother!" giit ni Arch.

"No. Arch is right. I still don't trust you," I said.

That made Arch smile. I just gave something he wanted. But this fight is draining me. We still have a long day ahead of us and starting it this way is not good.

Hindi nakapagsalita si Trev matapos no'n. Alam kong walang kwenta ang pagtatalo sa bagay na ito. Kilala ko si Arch, he won't stop until he gets when he wants. I could even see he was ready to ruin this day if Trev didn't agree.

It's for the better.

"Fine," Trev mumbled in the end. "All for Amira. I don't want to scare her. You're right, Arch. Gusto kong makuha muna ang loob niya. If she's comfortable this way, I'm all for it."

Sa isang iglap ay nawala ang ngiti sa labi ni Arch. Tumikhim ito at hindi na nagsalita. Nang magtagpo ang tingin namin sa salamin ay nginitian ko siya at ang nakuha kong sagot ay isang masamang tingin.

You think you won, huh?

"So, what do you think of me, Amira?" biglang tanong ni Trev.

"You were my friend," pagsingit ni Arch. "She still doesn't know you, Trev. You are just my friend in her eyes. Nothing special."

Oh, god. Can't he stop talking?

"Stop acting like a jealous boyfriend, Arch. I am not asking you."

Hindi ko napigilang matawa. "I think you are funny-"

"Like a clown, yeah," Arch cut me out.

"A boyfriend material," I added.

Nagtaas ng kilay si Arch.

"Really?" masayang sambit ni Trev.

"Naniwala naman," bulong ni Arch.

Huminto kami sa flower shop. Nanatili ako sa upuan ko, gano'n din si Trev. Lumabas si Arch at binuksan ang pinto sa gilid ko.

"Come on," aya niya sa akin.

Wala sana ako planong lumabas pero hinila na ako ni Arch. Inakbayan niya pa ako hanggang sa makapasok kami sa flower shop. Inalis ko rin ang kamay niya dahil nabibigatan ako. Tumawa lang siya.

"Ano po ang inyo?" tanong sa amin ng babae.

"Ito lang po ba ang mga bulaklak niyo?" tanong ko.

"Meron pa sa likod, halika," aya niya.

Hinila ko si Arch pasunod sa babae. Pagkarating namin sa likod ay bumungad ang napakaraming bulaklak na iba't ibang klase. Sobrang kulay ng paligid. Namamangha ako habang si Arch ay wala man lang reaksyon.

Lumayo ako kay Arch at nilapitan ang mga bulaklak. I am not into flowers but seeing these is making me happy. Humahalimuyak din ang bango nito sa paligid.

I faced Arch who just stood still. "Choose now," I said.

"I don't know how to do this."

"Tumingin ka lang sa nakita mong maganda," bilin ko.

He didn't move. He stood still, staring at me.

Kumunot ang noo ko. "Tatayo ka lang?"

Sumimangot ito. "You don't get it."

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Wala!" Saka na ito nagsimulang tumingin sa mga bulaklak. Nakasunod lang ako sa kanya. "I really don't know how to do this," dinig ko pang bulong niya.

Palihim akong napangiti nang makitang naguguluhan siya.

"C-can't you really help me?" Tumingin siya sa akin at halatang nagpapaawa. "I trust your taste."

Umiling ako.

"I brought you here so you can help me!" giit niya. He looked frustrated. Kinalas niya ang dalawa pang button ng kanyang polo shirt. "Choose for me. I won't complain."

Huminga ako nang malalim. "Pulang rosas?" tanong ko. Kinuha ko ang bukalya ng pulang rosas. Katulad din ito ng bigay sa akin ni Trev pero mas sariwa pa ito at kumikintab. "It's simple and usual but... I like it."

"You like it?" tanong ni Arch.

Habang nakatingin sa pulang rosas, tumango ako.

"I'll take it then."

"Yeah. I think Cams will like it."

"It's for you."

Natigilan ako pero nanatili sa pulang rosas ang aking tingin. I didn't want to show him how affected I was. He's trolling me. Nagsisimula na naman siyang mang-asar at ayokong mahuli niya sa kasinungalingan na ito.

Inilahad ko sa kanya ang bulaklak. "That's it," I smiled.

Aalis na sana ako nang humarang siya sa daan. "You don't believe me?"

"Arch. I have a date."

"Yeah?"

Kumunot ang noo ko. "If this is still your way to make me feel hell, Arch." I gulped. "You're winning. You're almost on the verge of making me believe it but I know you will break it afterwards. No."

"You think we should date, too? I think so, too."

Napanganga ako. "H-how about Cams?"

"She already left last night," he smiled.

"But you still like her, right?" I asked. "You even brought her us with us yesterday. I saw how you treated her."

I know asking that doesn't have anything to do with this issue but still, I want to voice it out.

"I asked you!" giit niya. "Tinanong kita kung ayaw mo siyang isama ko. But what did you do? You turned the conversation against me."

"What would you if I told you I don't want to, Arch?" hamon ko sa kanya. "Paano kung sinagot kitang ayoko siyang isama mo? What would you do?"

Bumigat ang paghinga ko sa mga sandaling ito. I was about to hear something that might break me even more or build me again.

"Then, no!" he answered, casually. "I waited for you to answer no. Kung sinabi mo sana ay hindi ko na siya isinama kahapon."

Umiling ako. This is not right.

"I have a date today," I said, ending this nonsense confrontation.

"Yeah. And it's me."

Madiin akong napapikit. "You can't date someone you don't like!"

I will never forget that.

"Did I hurt you?"

Natigilan ako sa tanong na 'yon. Did it hurt me?

"Let's stop this, please," I begged. "No more talk shits, Arch. If you don't want me to date him, fine. I will go home. Just stop being annoying."

"I don't want you to date him because you're dating me."

"You don't like me," I whispered.

"But I don't like you to date someone else even more, Amira." He held me the flower. "Sabihin mo kay Trev na ako ang id-date mo ngayon. Let the kid go home alone because you are not getting in his car anymore."

"A-Arch..."

"Fine! Ako na ang magsasabi-"

"Ako na!" I cut him out. Ipinahawak ko sa kanya ang bulaklak. "Wait me here."

Tumango siya kaya lumabas na rin ako. Naabutan ko si Trev na nakasandal sa sasakyan at halatang inip na sa kahihintay. Nang mapagawi sa akin ang kanyang tingin ay bigla itong ngumiti.

Humarap ako sa kanya.

"Where's Arch?"

Imbes na sumagot ay pumasok ako sa kanyang sasakyan. Gano'n din siya.

"Let's leave," I said.