If I had a checklist for getting ready for a night out it would probably look something like this;

• Allow 4 hours to get ready.

• Spend 3 hours 40 minutes of this allotted time laid on the bed pointlessly going between the same 3 apps on my phone, thus leaving just 20 minutes to shower, do hair/make up and get dressed.

• Spend the majority of these 20 minutes looking for a song to get ready to.

• Almost sever major artery in my leg whilst shaving.

• Decide on impulse to apply false tan.

• Immediately regret decision when bright orange stripes appear across my legs.

• Search desperately for a pair of unladdered tights to hide above mistake.

• Accidentally ladder the one pair that I find.

• Plan outfit 1 week in advance, then decide 10 minutes before leaving that it makes me look too fat/frumpy/stupid (delete as applicable)

• Spend 10 minutes trying to remember the name of that song I really love.

• Worry about being late.

• Decide that now is the perfect time to try a new curled hairstyle that I saw in a magazine.

• Burn forehead on curling irons.

• Stare at said new hairstyle in the mirror, wondering how I've ended up looking like a poodle that's gone 10 rounds with Mike Tyson.

• Stumble around the room clutching my still bleeding, freshly orange streaked knee looking for hair straighteners.

• Give up and pour a large vodka.

• More vodka.

• Think fúck it and spend 5 minutes looking for my old favourite dress.

• Find it in my unwashed clothes pile.

• Use body spray to 'wash' it.

• Slap some make up on.

• Voilà!

I mean, I can't say it'd work for everyone, but that's generally how it goes for me. Luckily Glen takes even longer than me. When I finished my shower 10 minutes after we were meant to leave, Glen was still doing his latest breathing meditation in the front room.

We were supposed to meet Star at 9 at some bar in Central London. It's now 9:30 and despite dealing with her increasingly irate calls every 5 minutes I've managed to get ready.

Glen is blasting out 'Eye of the tiger' from his bedroom, so I know he's nearly ready to go too.

I'm just wondering if I've got time to pluck my eyebrows when my phone begins to ring. I groan and answer it quickly.

"Oh my god! Star I've told you we're in the taxi-" I lie.

"Lennon?!"

I mentally curse at the sound of my mothers shrill voice.

"Lennon? I need to talk to you." Her voice rises dramatically. "It's about your new job..."

"Mum, I don't have time! I'm just going to meet Star..." I say desperately. I don't have time for whatever crazy conversation she's going to land on me.

"No, this is important."

"Mum-"

I hesitate. Glen's still not ready. I sigh and pour myself another drink, I may as well get this over with now otherwise she'll just keep trying to call back.

"Ok. What's up?"

"Brian tells me that you're working for the singer Harry Styles." Her voice falls as she whispers his name.

"Yeah..."

"Well, your father and I have done some research on him."

I sigh to myself. I know what's coming. Most parents would be phoning about Harry's womanising past.

I'm not that lucky.

"Len... He's in the illuminati." She says dramatically.

"Mother. He's not-"

"He is. Your father and I have access to some very classified websites."

"Mum, an amateur website set up by some 50 year old loser who lives with his mother in Bristol isn't an accurate-"

"I know you're a non-believer." She says in a particularly irritating way, as if I'm closed minded and dumb. "But believe me, Harry Styles is in cahoots with Beyoncé. Both are cult leaders in the illuminati."

I try to bite back a laugh at how crazy the sentence 'Harry Styles is in cahoots with Beyoncé' sounds.

I try and reconcile the image of a devious overlord with the dork who was texting me about the length of my skirt last week and before I can stop it a snort of laughter escapes my lips. Luckily she doesn't notice.

"You need to leave immediately Lennon. Your father thinks it would be good to have someone on the inside who can feed back information, but I just can't put you at risk like that-"

I raise my eyes to the ceiling as she rambles on.

Obviously conspiracy theorists have to have children... But why did I have to be one of them?

"Look, I'm not working for him any more." I cut into her ramblings about the inner workings of the illuminati.

I'm definitely not going to tell her I've been promoted to his main PA.

"I'm... Er... Unemployed."

"Oh darling that's wonderful!" She gushes.

I roll my eyes and take another sip of my drink.

"I knew you'd see through it. I was just reading yesterday about how Styles is personally responsible for inducting teenage girls into the inner echelons of the society of the illuminati-"

"Yeah well I'm not working for him anymore. Anyway, how's Brian?" I cut in abruptly. As guilty as I feel for leaving my youngest sibling in the clutches of our parents, if we survived them he can too.

"Oh he's fine. I'm taking him on a chakra balancing meditation course this weekend."

"Sounds like the perfect weekend for an 11 year old boy." I say dryly. "How's his homeschooling going?"

"Oh wonderfully. We're studying how the government are really a secret ancient race of lizards who want to control-"

Thankfully at that minute Glen flounces into the room smelling slightly too strongly of aftershave. I make my excuses and quickly end the call.

"Who was that?" He asks noisily.

"My mum." I sigh.

"Oh right. That crazy bitch. God Lennon... What have you done to your hair?!"

***

I push open the heavy doors to the outside seating area and spark up a cigarette.

To say Star was pissed off when we arrived an hour late would be the understatement of the century. Glen quickly ordered a round of drinks and launched into a long funny story about his latest dating disaster and she eventually got into it, it's impossible to stay angry around Glen. I've just left them tearing up the dancefloor to some thumping dance song that was giving me a mild headache.

I look round at the crowd of slightly worse for the wear people around me and think how weird it is that I'm here now, but tomorrow afternoon I'll be in a meeting with Harry Styles.

In 5 days I'll be landing in LA. I wonder if I'll go to any clubs there. From what Star has told me tonight I'll be with Harry pretty much everywhere he goes. Thinking about it though, Monica hasn't really shadowed Harry in the way that I'm going to. Maybe Harry just didn't click with Monica and I was the only other choice?

Usually I would fly out on Harry's private jet with the rest of the staff, but Lydia is insisting that I stay in the London office until the last possible minute, then fly economy. I know she's angry that Harry overruled her and she's trying to make my life as difficult as possible.

Monica had a major meltdown when she found out Harry had chosen me to replace her. In fairness to him, he pulled her into the office and spoke to her privately. I don't know what was said because she hasn't spoken to me since. Like I care.

I don't know how I feel, nervous, excited... Everything, it's overwhelming, this huge U turn my life has taken.

"There you are!" Glens standing in the open doorway, grinning at my drunkenly.

"Come on! What are you standing out here for? I've just spotted the hottest guy you've ever seen, you have to come see, I swear he's like a model..." He grabs my arm and pulls me back into the club, still going on about the guy he's dancing with. Star is waiting with a shot and I down it, laughing as at the sight of Glens skinny body attempting to do the whip nae nae.

Star leans across, her cheeks flushed from dancing.

"I'm so proud of you babe." She smiles and brushes my hair from my eyes. "You know, I was a bit worried about getting you a job with Harry."

"Why?"

"Just because he has such a terrible reputation. He tries it on with everyone, honestly, he's adorable and funny... But he really is a huge womaniser."

"You don't know that." I say almost defensively.

"Trust me, I've been in this industry for years. Everyone knows it, Harry chases anything with a pulse." She takes another swig of her drink. "I was nervous about putting you in that situation... But you're not stupid, you can handle it."

I nod, sipping slowly at my drink. My few meetings with Harry have been flirty, but he didn't try anything when we went back to his house the other week.

Still. I better try and keep it entirely professional from now on.

I mean, he's just a hot guy. I can totally not be attracted to him.

Easy.

***

AN- Ok folks believe it or not there are people who actually believe Dorky Styles is in the illuminati. 😂😂

That boy couldn't even mastermind his way out of a wet paper bag 😂

And Lennons checklist for getting ready for a night out is totally based on mine. But I don't wear unwashed clothes. I promise.

Hope you liked this update, Harry will obviously be featuring in it more verrryyyy soon. Please drop me a vote/comment if you liked it!

Thanks to everyone who is reading, this one is dedicated to @Elll1233 thanks for reading love xx