Japan

Oh no.

No no no no no.

Zayn sighs in his sleep and in panic, I edge away from him, moving a fraction of an inch then pausing to check that he hasn't woken up.

Once I'm near the edge of the bed I turn and spot the time. It's not 6am as I thought, it's 8 and my meeting with Lydia and Monica is in twenty minutes. I swear loudly and Zayn shifts in his sleep.

I edge the last part of the mattress and run to the bathroom.

I can't have a shower, it might wake him. I want to be long gone by the time he wakes, but at the same time I can't go to my meeting stinking of alcohol.

Running the tap at a tiny trickle to wash myself I try to remember last night. That bloody sake.

I didn't have sex with Zayn. I'm sure of that.

But then how the hell did he end up in my room? And what was Harry so annoyed about?

I've never been drunk to the point I can't remember things.

Well, that's not entirely true, but I've usually got Star on hand to shove me and Glen in taxis before we can do to much damage.

I feel groggy and miserable as I clumsily apply a touch of make up. I rush into the room and grab my bag, freezing like a mannequin as Zayn shifts in his sleep.

Finally I'm into the hall and I race to the lift, trying to focus on the meeting ahead of me. This is possibly the worst hangover I've ever experienced. Not only do I feel physically ill, but I also feel utterly depressed.

My phone pings with a text. It's from Zayn and I hesitate before opening it.

Hey, I heard you leave but you didn't hear me call you. Last night was crazy haha. I'm really glad we talked about that stuff and I'm sorry again. Hopefully catch up with you later x

Last night was crazy? Oh fuçk what the hell does that mean? And what stuff did we talk about? Why is he sorry?

I take a deep breath to steady myself and slump against the side of the wall just as the lift doors ping open and the person I loathe most in the world comes into view.

Lydia is standing by a door, obviously waiting to show me inside. Her penciled eyebrows raise as she spots me and she glares at me as if I'm something particularly unpleasant in a lavatory. Which isn't far from how it feel actually.

I walk towards her slowly, as if I'm being condemned to the gallows and she opens the door without speaking, revealing Monica's smug face.

I take a seat opposite them and notice that my chair is lower than theirs. I bet they've done this on purpose. I take my seat, feeling like a naughty toddler.

"Lennon." Lydia smiles icily. "Obviously we've had this meeting planned since before your return and our objective here today is to come to an arrangement regarding the personal assistant duties for Harry-"

"I wasn't aware that anything had changed." I cut in quickly. I might as well brazen this out. "As far I knew Monica was covering for me until I returned."

I give Monica a falsely grateful smile and she scowls at me. Lydia's smile widens before she speaks again.

"I think it's worth remembering that Monica is Harry's actual PA. You've merely overseen this tour-"

"Exactly. I still have all the notes, I had to return home for... Personal reasons, but so far as I was aware, Monica was just covering for me." I glance at Monica and she suddenly looks like the cat the got the cream. She knows about the video Belle took... But I'm certain Lydia doesn't. Belle wasn't even allowed to tell Monica technically, according to the contract she signed, but they most have both known that I was hardly going to spill the beans.

"Monica, kindly agreed to cover for you." Lydia continues, undeterred. "And it was always my intention that she would step down once you returned."

She gives me a huge smile that tells me that was not her intention in the slightest.

"However in light of recent events..."

"Recent events?" I ask nervously.

"It has come to my attention that last night-"

My heart begins to race just as the door flies open. All of us jump in shock and spin round to see who the intruder is.

Harry's other manager, Joe, is stood in the doorway looking as if he's just ran a marathon. He clasps his chest and wheezes before entering the room slowly.

"Forgot to tell me about this meeting did you?" He says to Lydia. She recovers her composure immediately and smiles tightly.

"I just thought you had enough on your plate at the moment Joe, I was willing to deal with this."

"I bet you were." He says grimly, dragging a chair from the corner of the room to sit down next to me. His chair is much higher than mine and I feel faintly ridiculous gazing up at him. He gives me a quick wink, not visible to Lydia and Monica before settling in and trying to catch his breath.

There is an animosity between Joe and Lydia that wasn't as obvious before. Harry had warned me about this before I returned. Apparently Joe was furious at the Belle/paparazzi situation and Lydia's impassioned defence of both Belle and Monica. Harry was adamant that the tension had always been there but Joe let a lot of things go in order to keep the peace.

I feel oddly guilty. He's obviously got my back here, completely unaware that there was an unpublished scandal about me kissing one of his charges in a swimming pool and I've left another sleeping in my bed this morning.

"So." Lydia says forcefully. "As we were just saying before you joined us, last night it appears, on her first night back to the tour, Miss Lovelace caused yet another scene." She smiles delicately.

"If you're referring to the argument in the restaurant Lydia, I've already spoken to Harry and I have it on his authority that the problem was antagonised by Belle Marie." Joe says. "Whilst Harry admits that Lennon was rather tipsy, the argument started with Belle constantly provoking her." I sit quietly. All of this is news to me, I can't even remember it.

"Perhaps Lennon should have acted with more discretion, but I think the real problem here, the issue we are not addressing, is that these media romances are simply not working. They are making a mockery of the tour, distracting attention away from the music-"

"Harry has an image to maintain." Lydia says tightly.

"No. He has music to perform. That's his passion, that's what the fans want from him. They would still follow him avidly if he never had another public romance. Think back, the fans had far more pleasure from watching a video of the boys hanging around together than they have from a single romance. It's not only that, the media circus surrounding him puts too much pressure on the lad. In the position he is in we should be protecting him, making sure he has a chance at a normal life, dating etc. Not exploiting him. I've said this before and you've never listened to me. Because of you, his wider reputation outside of his fans is as a womaniser rather than a serious musician."

Lydia looks as though she's been slapped in the face with a wet fish. She glares at me sourly.

"Well the issue we were just discussing-"

"Is Harry's decision." He finishes for her. "Harry has decided he would like Lennon to carry on in the role she has been working. Despite a few mishaps-" Lydia snorts but Joe carried on, "Lennon has proved herself to be a very capable member of the team. She's learnt quicker than any of us could have imagined, she's popular with the rest of the crew and I see no reason that she shouldn't continue. If it pleases you, we can arrange to review the situation in a few weeks. For now, Harry has expressed the wish that everything stays the same."

"What about Monica?" Lydia spits.

"Monica has been doing a fantastic job in the London office." Joe smiles kindly at Monica. "I see no reason for her not to work alongside Lennon for the next two weeks, after that she can return with us to London for the X-factor final. Once the tour moves on again, she can stay in London and resume her duties.

Monica's pretty face is wrapped up in a complex scowl. Joe notices this and gives her an understanding smile.

"There will be more opportunities for tours, plenty of travel in the future." He says kindly. She shoots him a filthy look.

I fully expect Lydia to argue but to my surprise she nods stiffly. Something about the authoritative way Joe has addressed her seems to have temporarily stunned her.

"I'm glad that's settled. Now, if you two ladies would leave us, we have the matter of Belle and Harry to discuss." Joe says. I can see Monica wants to listen in just as much as I do.

Apparently that's not even an option and it's only seconds later that Joe closes the door firmly behind us. I turn quickly towards the lifts and to my dismay I hear Monica hurrying along behind me.

"It's a shame I didn't have the sense to shag my way to the top." She spits once we're waiting for the lift. "At least now I know the reason that Harry chose you for the tour."

I decide to be dignified and ignore her, a move slightly ruined by the fact that I trip slightly as I enter the lift.

Minutes later I've tentatively entered my room to find it Zayn free, thankfully.

I flop on the bed.

I still have my job. That's a huge pro.

On the negative; Harry is annoyed with me, I woke up next to Zayn, Lydia hates me and I have to work with Monica for the next two weeks.

I briefly consider calling Glen as my phone begins to vibrate. I groan loudly as I see my Mums caller ID flash up.

"Hello?"

I hear a long wet sniff from the other end followed by a dramatic gasp.

"Mum?" I sit bolt upright. "Mum is everything ok?"

"It's Brian." She whispers.

My stomach clenches as my youngest brothers face swims into my mind. Oh my god.

"What's happened?" I demand.

She can't speak for a moment and I feel sick as I try to imagine what she's about to tell me.

"He.. He..." She hiccups.

"What's happened?" I ask again, gently.

"Oh Lennon it's awful!"

I need to book a flight home. I try to keep my breathing steady but my heart is pounding in my chest.

"I caught him playing Minecraft today!" She declares dramatically.

Oh for gods sake.

I fall back down on the bed rolling my eyes.

"Well that's a standard thing for a ten year old-"

"He told me he needed to go online to research chakra meditation points-"

"Mum, he's 10." I groan.

"It's not the minecraft, it's the lies."

I don't respond. I know she's about to launch off on one of her conspiracy rants so I grab the room service menu and begin to scan it. I feel disgustingly hung over and I could do without her crap right now. I still need to find out what happened with Zayn.

"... I just don't know where I went so wrong. You were all brought up so spiritually open. I made you all aware of the truth from an early age-"

I scan the menu carefully, I don't want a repeat of the Natto, even the memory of the smell turns my delicate stomach.

"... I mean there's Star, working with celebrities. Completely absorbed in the consumerist world, she's really part of the machine, a wheel in the system of oppression via mass 'entertainment' and subliminal messaging-"

Do I trust the burger? The last thing I are was those fish bubble things, I don't know if I can handle meat. Maybe I should just order fries. But hungover as I am, I'm stressed, maybe I need to find Harry. I need to clear the air with him first. Surely the fact that he told Joe he wants me to continue is a good sign?

"Then there's you, working for an illuminati cult leader, I mean I probably shouldn't even be saying this, no doubt your phone lines are bugged..."

But who should I approach first? Zayn or Harry?

"... Harrison has turned out to be a mess, apparently he's just taken an office job in London for a bank... I mean he's completely done a U-turn and bought into the system... Then I find Brian playing on Minecraft. The only one who has retained any of the values I instilled in you is McCartney, I mean yes, the drug charges are unfortunate-"

"What drug charges?" I ask suddenly. My eldest brother has always been the most like our parents, moving from various cults and communes, having an entire wardrobe made up of tye-dye clothing and a head full of conspiracy theories.

"He was found trying to bring... Substances... Into Spain." Mum says. "I mean really it was just a plant, native peoples have used it for years to attain a higher level of consciousness-"

I roll my eyes at the pride in her voice. She has one daughter working as a highly paid music events organiser, another working as a PA for a one of the most famous men in the world, a son working in a bank in London and yet she's most proud of the hippy kid who had been arrested on drug charges.

No wonder I'm such a freak.

"Well just lay off Brian, ok?" I say eventually. "He's only a kid and he's only doing-"

"It's ok." She sniffs wetly, obviously still thinking about what a disappointment we all are. "Your father is looking up family meditation weekends. We'll pull Brian away from the dark side."

I let her continue for a few minutes before making my excuses and hanging up.

I'm definitely going to bring Brian for a week in London as soon as I get home. Being away from my parents made me forget how weird they really are.

I've got more pressing matters right now though.

I need to sort out this whole thing with Zayn and find out what happened, plus, I need to speak to Harry. He can't be that annoyed, he obviously sent Joe to find me in that meeting and made sure I kept my job.

I'm not sure how best to approach this.

Maybe Erin? She seemed cool. She can fill me in on what happened and I can go from there. I won't eat in my room, I'll go to her and we can eat together and talk.

I stand up and walk to my hotel room door, yanking it open, only to find Harry smiling nervously down at me, obviously about to knock.

"Hey..." He gives a sheepish little grin.

"Oh." I feel flustered at this change in plan. "Hey..."

We both go to speak at the same time and after one of those annoyingly awkward moments where you spend 500 years insisting that the other speaks first he begins.

"I'm sorry, last night I was a total idiot."

"I don't remember much." I admit.

"Well that's good for me I suppose. I was an idiot, I got drunk pretty quickly. We all did... Of course if you did like Zayn I wouldn't ever presume to think that I own you or anything-"

"What?"

"Well you were flirting with Zayn but I was ridiculous. I don't own you Lennon and I shouldn't have been so jealous. You're not a possession. I'm sorry."

I consider telling him that I woke up next to Zayn this morning but I bring myself to do it.

"Can I come in?"

I nod and step aside. Harry steps in the room and flops down causally on the bed. His floral shirt is buttoned ridiculously low.

"Like what you see?" He grins as he notices me looking then pulls a dorky face, pulling his lip over his teeth.

"I was just wondering if there are any point in having buttons on that shirt if you're not going to use them." I say dryly.

"I just thought it might be easier for you to rip my top off." He smiles innocently and grabs the remote, flicking through the channels.

"Harry."

I decide to do this now.

I'm a crap liar and more than that, I hate lying to people. Especially people I like.

"I need to tell you-"

"-That you woke up and Zayn was in your bed." He says casually, frowning at the TV.

"Well- yeah. Wait... What?"

"Last night we all got drunk and a bit of hand." He mutes the TV and turns towards me. "I'm so sorry, I was drunk and I stormed off. Zayn brought you back and he stayed with you because you were threatening to storm out of your room and confront Lydia and Belle in the middle of the night. He calmed you down and fell asleep next to you. I'd been a drunken idiot and was already gone."

"But..." I sit down heavily on the bed. "He said he was glad we'd talked."

"Well..." Harry's full lips pull into an awkward pout. "I hadn't been honest with him and apparently last night you told him, in rather explicit detail about us kissing in the pool."

There's a pause and Harry leans over to grab the menus, avoiding my eye.

"The thing is Lennon I wasn't sure myself how I felt or how I should go ahead, so I didn't tell Zayn anything, worse, I when he told me he liked you, I didn't object, in fact..." He stares down at the menu cover as if is suddenly the most fascinating thing on earth.

"In fact...?"

"Well I actually sort of told him it wouldn't bother me if he took you out on a date."

"Why?"

"Because he's just been so down and I didn't want to admit that I liked you in any way. But after my little tantrum last night he seemed to get the point." Harry gives me a sheepish grin. "I've spoken to him and he's fine about it, I think he's more annoyed that I wasn't just honest about it."

There's a pause as I process this. At least that's one worry dealt with I guess. Just the other 7 million to deal with now.

"I mean," Harry pouts suddenly, "I'm just assuming that you like me... I didn't want to be all controlling and demand you couldn't choose Zayn and if I hadn't of been so drunk-"

"I think it's fairly clear that I like you." I say in a completely non-seductive squeaky voice.

"Oh." Harry smiles and his dimples make an appearance. "Well that's good."

Suddenly Stars warning pops in my head, about Harry being a womaniser and doing this sort of thing in the past.

"I'm not going to sleep with you." I say suddenly. "I mean, I might at some point, well I probably will... I mean I want to but-" Harry's raises an eyebrow at my speech and I feel a flush creeping up my cheeks.

"I think we should focus on the tour anyway." He says after a heavy pause. "Especially with Belle still hanging around, I don't think I could handle much more stress.. But maybe, well maybe we could sort of see what happens?"

I nod as if this makes perfect sense to me, when in fact it doesn't. Does that mean we're sort of dating? Or calling it all off? Before I have time to formulate a question Harry shuffles his lean body across the bed and pats the space next to him.

"It's the first time we've been alone together in ages, our dinner date didn't exactly go as planned. Let's order some food. There's the show tomorrow, Louis is hosting an after party, the it's straight over to China. Niall has arranged your birthday party, don't even ask. We might as well make the most of our free time."

I sit an awkward distance from him, stealing stalker-like glances at him as he talks. How is it possible for one man to be so perfect? It hardly seems fair on the rest of the male population.

Over our food I fill him in on Glens new business and he talks about what a nightmare it's been with the 3 bitches. Suddenly something occurs to me.

"Harry, Lydia said today that the tour is moving back to the UK for the X factor final?"

"What?" He looks up from his organic salad. "Oh yeah, that's right, we've got two dates there, one in London and one in Newcastle. Hey, that's near where your family lives isn't it?"

"Yeah."

"Get your parents to come to a show!" He smiles enthusiastically. He's mentioned meeting my parents several times over the months. He seems weirdly keen on the idea.

"There's no chance. The last gig they went to was a five hour whale music session in a field." I say flatly.

"Well maybe we could go to visit them?"

"Why would we want to do that?" I roll my eyes, thinking about my conversation with mum earlier.

"It'll be fun." He grins and sips his water.

"Hm. Maybe." I look back down at my fries. Perhaps it's not such a bad idea, maybe if  mum and dad met Harry they'd see that's he's just a normal person-

I picture Harry being forced to do a mediative healing session with my parents or being quizzed on the illuminati over dinner and grin wryly.

No chance. Whatever he might say, it's not happening.