There is a drum roll playing in my chest. No, it's an alarm clock that's ringing and rattling against my breast bone.

Nope, it's definitely a drumroll. With a mix of my thoughts singing the same tune or possibly rapping.
Going from Ameria to worrying about mom to then wondering about Jake and then this English test. I hate existing on this planet right now.

“Here you go,” I blink out of my thoughts to the hairy arm clenching onto a pink mug with steam dancing out of it.
“You made me chamomile tea?” I look up at Mazin's dark eyes.

“Yeah I've noticed you've been kinda stressed”, he shrugs his shoulders “anyways you watch anime right?” He grabs the remote and points it to the screen.
“Bro I thought we were gonna study?” I place the mug on the coffee table.
“We are but first I need you to chill out.”
I roll my eyes “I am chilled we need to work I gotta ace this”, I grab my bag from the floor.
“You sure you chilled cause at school it be a different story even right now.”
“You sitting like this”, he raises his shoulders to his ears.
I throw a pillow at him “that is not how I sit.”
“Yes, you do drop your shoulders you doing it right now.” As much as I hate him right now I do as I'm told and I'm left with aches in my shoulders and neck.

“See told you. What's been stressing you out?” He asks flipping through the screen
Should I tell him?
Nope don't
Maybe I should, but where do I start?
“It's okay we don't have to talk about it.
What we can do is watch some anime. ”

Ten episodes into Attack on  Titan and I am hooked. However, when I saw the room get from brighter to dimmer I knew the sun was setting and we haven't even opened our books.

“Okay, now we can get to work now” Mazin gets off the couch and stretches twisting his body in odd ways.

“Finally,” I whispered as I dug in my bag. “I need to be home by seven at the latest,” I say out loud as I zip up my bag.

“Relax it's only five and all we need is an hour. The book is really not that bad to sum it up,” he picks up the now empty mug. “It's about a teacher that's convicted of a murder that he didn't do,” Mazin says as he makes his way to the door that I assume leads to the kitchen.

My eyes begin to wander to the family pictures that hang on the beige walls with white trims.
It's him and his mom. Only.
He's stolen her whole face especially her nose and the smile. She's a dark beauty and she too has locs longer than her son. No sign of his father anywhere which makes me itch with curiosity.

Mazin comes back into the living room with his hand scratching his head full of locs
“It's a pretty easy book just really long-ass chapters” his one loc falls to his eye and he quickly pushes it back up. He grabs the remote pressing a few buttons and smooth music begins to play.

He slides open the cabinet tv stand and takes out his books.
I want to tell him I can't study with music, but I gotta remember this isn't my house. Can't just do as I please.

He yawns and stretches his torso one more time before sitting down and opening his book.

I'm grateful for Mazin even though I still don't know much about him. He seems like a cool chill wind. Not too hasty or tardily. Just cool and calm.

By the time it's close to seven we're already in his car and my mind is not only at ease but filled with knowledge on this novel. I'm confident I'm going to Ace this. Well, that's a bit of a stretch but it feels like I will ace it.

We stop for ice cream at Macdonald's.
And I smile remembering the time we met at Skyler's party and how we left to go get food. But it's bittersweet and as I lick on the vanilla ice cream I see the blue and red lights flash in my mind. It's the exact same ones I saw the night I was with Mazin. It's a lingering memory now. Every detail becomes apparent. It's as if I  can stretch down into my memory and jump back to the past

“You're doing it again,” Mazin says as he bites his cone.
“You live too much in your head.”
“Is it that obvious?” I ask softly.
“Mhm” he gulps and his adam's apple bounces right back up.
“your eyebrows frown or sometimes you bite your nails.” He goes on and I look down at my crooked short nails. Cuticle
peels off and a tiny bit of blood sits right at my index finger. And I quickly suck on it

“At times your shoulders remain stuck close by your ears. You need to learn to relax more.”
If only that was easy to do. I close my eyes and my thoughts get louder. I keep myself busy and I hear the buzzing of my thoughts. I Lean against the window and my face connects with the gelid window.
I sigh “it's been a weird couple of days. Just so much going on.”

And that's when I pour out my soul to Mazin. The ice cream even melts down my hand.
He sits there with a plain facial reaction. Not even his dark thick eyebrows twitch. I can't tell if he's listening to me but I think and hope he is. I ramble on until I can't no more. Until silence sits comfortably between us. Until I even finish my melted ice cream and soul is freed from the shackles of fear.

“That is a lot”, he finally says.  “I ain't gonna lie I have no magical advice to give you.” He shifts in his seat. “Saying stuff like it's going to be okay is so cliche it's actually not comforting anymore. But I am here to always listen to you” he looks directly at me. “Sometimes you just need someone to vent to, someone who will listen to you. Instead of someone shoving down some motivational quotes like you Dr. Phil or something”,  I can't help but burst out laughing.

“I'm serious”, he smirks “people will say stuff as I'll it will be okay. You'll be stronger after this. But most of the time people don't even mean it they saying it just because it's what they should say. So I don't wanna feed you bullshit besides I am bad at advising so I'll listen to you rant whenever”

And that calms me down for the rest of the night. He pacified my thoughts. Cradled me with his words of simplicity. And finally laid me down to rest.

“Nora!” The front door bangs shut and I know from that shout mom needs help with something.

Downstairs she juggles two large boxes of pizza and in the other hand a blue plastic bag. I grab the two pizzas and immediately go to the kitchen.

“I was thinking we should watch a movie and just have girl's night.” She places the blue bag down.
It's a school night I say as Hawaiian pizza fills up my nostrils. Yes, I enjoy pizza with pineapples.
“I know but it won't hurt to spend time with your mommy plus tomorrow is just Friday. Friday's you guys come out early anyway and don't you have like three free periods.” She scrambles in the plastic bag taking out popcorn and sweat packets.

I only have one free class tomorrow, but I don't mention it instead I help her unpack. And as she digs in the blue bag and takes out the goodies I notice she's without her ring.

The gold ring that complemented her melanin skin tone and that glistened when the light hit right. It's gone. Nine years of marriage down the drain.

And while we have our little party in the living room with our faces smeared with a mud facial mask.  my stomach can't help but twist and turn. It has to be noisy about it too.
“You hungry”? mom turns to face me the grey facial mask has dried on and as she speaks it cracks ever so slightly.
“No, I'm fine”
“You sure?” she asks again placing her hand on my knee.

“Yeah Yeah”, I lie. I'm not it's back. I knew the stress would find a way to worm its self back. Mazin's effort of rocking it to sleep has diminished now. And firey flames rest in my throat.  I itch to ask where is dad. If she's okay but this isn't the time.

Mom is completely in comfort, in her blue silk PJs. Even with the cracks of the dried facial mask, she's on cloud nine. Her feet are crossed into her thighs. She's staring at the tv leaning forward with anticipation. Like a child who bubbles with excitement.

I can't burst that bubble she's back in nirvana and bliss.

But when will it be the time to ask?