~Baekhyun~

The sun is high in the sky when i finally leave the house. I seriously hate weekend's. Especially Friday's, because it's the only time i really 'have' to go to class and it usually marks the beginning of my work week. Though, my dad surprised my mom with a weekend out of town, so he just went ahead and closed the club this weekend.

Which i guess is why Kris thought it was a good idea to throw a fucking party. I'm kind of indifferent to the whole thing. I'm not sure if i want to hide away in my room, or attempt some sort of social interaction. Maybe i could steal Jongin away from the party and...

"Byun" the professor calls as I enter the lab, stopping me in my tracks as well as mid thought.

I turn slowly, curious as to why my teacher, (who usually reserves this period for his daily nap) is calling for me.

"Yes?" I ask, annunciating each letter individually.

"You're late" he grumbles, his arms crossed in displeasure.

I tilt my head and narrow my eyes in thought "when am I not?"

My professor takes a deep breath, closing his eyes in the barely controlled agitation currently filling him. "Get to your desk. The president of our department did a walk through this morning. He was displeased by your lack of progression. You're already on thin ice with him, so I suggest you get a fire lit under your ass, boy"

Dread fills me and I swallow hard. Shit, I thought I'd had another month before the president did his damn walk through. I recognize that I have been slightly distracted, and that I may have been procrastinating the tiniest bit. But I thought I had more time. Fuck.

I nearly run to my work table, and pull out the file for the plans of my year end project. It's time to get my shit in gear and bust some ass. I may tend to slack off a bit, but my major and grades are important to me. No matter how much I would love to sit here and obsess over my steadily dilapidating relationship with my best friend, my focus needs to be elsewhere right now.

That's the one thing I've always been able to count on, though. No matter how much I'm going through or dealing with, I know Chanyeol will always be there when I come back.

>>>>

~Chanyeol~

The first time it happened could have been passed off as an accident, even without an apology i could easily brush it off, and move on... but the third and now forth time... Something's clearly up.

I stand up straight from where i had just brought in a rather heavy box from Kris's car. Rather routine, especially for a party and I had been bringing boxes in all morning, but something keeps happening. Something that's becoming more and more increasingly annoying by the second. On the way inside, Yixing, Tao, and now Sehun have all managed to knock in to me at least once.

Childish shoulder bumps, or obviously not accidental steps on my feet. I'm not that gifted with coordination on my good days. Add in my recent knee injury thanks to Minseok and his psychotic workout regimen, plus these guys doing their little brat routine has almost caused me to tank multiple times.

"Seriously, guys. What the hell?" I turn around, to find everyone's eyes looking everywhere but me. Not suspicious in the slightest.

"What's wrong?" Someone asks, and my breath catches.

Glancing over to the study, i find Baekhyun walking towards me, a book slotted between his fingers marking a page. I always found him most beautiful like this. Glasses perched on the edge of his nose, book in hand, in an over-sized sweatshirt and worn jeans. That's 'my' Baekhyun.

Like this, he isn't the fabricated person on everyone's lips. No, like this, he's just my Baek. My best friend who spends hours in the library, hid away from the world, and lost in his own. I used to be a part of that world.

"Just the guys playing around." I say, dropping my gaze, unable to look at him for some reason.

Baekhyun hums in acknowledgment, and stops next to Yixing, giving him a pointed look "well, I'm sure the playing around can wait. We wouldn't want anyone to get hurt, would we?"

Yixing winces, almost as if guilty about something and i realize I'm missing something.

Glancing up, i meet Baekhyun's eyes. My best friend... My whole world held there in the honey brown, sparkling pools of his gorgeous globes. He's finally looking at me. After days of silence and empty expressions, my best friend is finally right here in front of me. Gods how I've missed him.

I move to step forward to reach for him, but before i can even get my foot fully on the ground, Baekhyun is being pulled away from me by Tao and Yixing, who are sending the best "go to hell" looks I've ever seen. The library door slams with a sound of finality locking my world away from me, and i flinch at how hallow it makes me feel.

Yeah, i'm defiantly missing something.

....

"What the hell is going on? I'm so confused." I say, taking a deep frustrated breath.

Chen chuckles on the other end of the line, the sound of crashing waves can be heard faintly in the background "maybe they're all banding together."

Kris scoffs and shakes his head despite Chen not being able to see him. "The twinkateers have always banded together, this is different. They've even pulled Sehun onto their side."

It's early. Too early to be awake on a Saturday, but Kris had woken me up to help with the party preparations. In the mist of it, our darling house father had called to check in on us, and now here we are. Sitting on the porch in the early morning light, drinking coffee, and venting to a man that has been more of a father to us in the last year, than our own.

We hear a sigh on the other end of the phone and i kind of regret bringing Chen into our problems. This was supposed to be his relaxing weekend away from us, and now we're making him feel stressed and regretful.

"Remember what i had told you guys a couple weeks ago. The story about the two people who were in love but never said anything, never communicated and because of it missed out on something that could have been really amazing?" Chen questions, his usual dad lecture voice in place.

"Yeah, you said that silence never fixes anything." I say, already knowing where he's going with this.

"Exactly." Chen says calmly, his soft voice almost soothing "boys, i know you're young and sometimes it's easy to get wrapped up in life and the constant battle between your head and heart, but at the end of the day, nothing will be solved by holding everything in. People will always surprise you by how understanding they can be. The best we can do is be honest with ourselves as well as others and find a middle ground."

"But what if you can't?" Kris asks, his eyes looking worn.

I sigh and reach over placing a comforting hand on Kris's shoulder, getting a small appreciative smile in return.

"Don't let the 'what ifs' stop you, guys. You can sit there all day and worry about the 'what if's', but nothing will ever come of life if you stop yourself from moving forward due to the fear of what could go wrong. That's like wanting to watch a movie but not going because you're afraid it will be bad. If it's a bad movie then you say "damn, that sucked", You chalk it up as an experience and move on. Your life isn't ruined because of one bad movie and there will always be better movies. One day you'll find your favorite movie of all time and you'll watch it over and over and never be disappointed. Don't let yourself get stuck in the what could go wrongs, because what if it goes right? You'll never know until you take a step, boys."

"I'm scared, Chen. I'm scared of losing him." I say, finally voicing a fear aloud. "I'm scared of making a step and never being able to walk again. Baek is everything to me, and I'm fucking terrified."

There a small wistful sigh from the other end and i know the man is about to lay out his best words of wisdom.

"Fear means you're on the right path, Yeol. Nothing worth doing is ever going to be easy. All of those years ago, before i got sober, i knew what that fear felt like. So many times i almost got myself together and went after the things i wanted, but fear stopped me. The 'what if's' stopped me. I sometimes look back and wonder what would have happened, who i would have been if I had just gotten over myself and pushed through the fear. So many of my years were wasted that way, but you're still young. You still have plenty of mistakes ahead of you. And trust me, mistakes are a lot easier to swallow than regrets." Chen says, putting some things into perspective.

"But what if you regret the mistake?" Kris asks, biting at his lip and furrowing his brow, his signature worrying expression.

"Never regret the mistakes, guys. Those are the things that made you grow. Evolved you as a person. Never regret, because regrets are mistakes you didn't learn from." Chen says making it sound so simple.

"I can deal with the pain of losing Tao if i tried to keep him. Tried to fight for him. But i refuse to watch him walk away because i was the one who opened the door." Kris says, a tone in his voice that i haven't heard in a while. Fucking finally.

"That's my boy." Chen's tone drips with pride and i know he has been waiting for the spark to light in Kris too.

"Talk to him tonight. You two need to work some shit out." I say, squeezing Kris's shoulder once again.

Kris nods, the a devilish little smirk tugs at his lips "only if you do. If i make a move, you have to too, Yeol."

My eyes widen and I feel my face scrunch into despair. It's easy enough to tell others to put their big boy panties on, but when it comes to doing yourself, it's a different story. "But... people... there will be people around and you know Baek is a social butterfly. He'll never notice me among a party."

Kris lifts an eyebrow and scoffs "you really underestimate how much that boy cares for you. He never takes his eyes off of you, Chanyeol. You never notice, but when you're not staring at him, he's staring at you."

Blinking steadily, i digest Kris's words and wonder what exactly he means by them. Baekhyun doesn't notice me like that... right?

"What party?" Abruptly breaks me out of my head.

Kris and i glance at each other in panic and spend a minute pushing the phone into each other's hands, silently arguing about who should answer.

"Boys?" Comes a stern question.

"Um, we didn't say party. We said 'smarty', as in it's time to get more smarty. No party here. Just us good little students who are doing their homework and getting to bed early." I say in a fluster.

"Park fucking Chanyeol, if you do-"

"Oh, boy. Look at the time. So much homework to do. Got to get on that. Bye, Chen. Love you." Kris says in a hurry, clicking the red button cutting off our house dad, who is probably going to kill us when he gets back.

We sit in silence for a beat, before Kris sighs and stands up "smarty, really?"

I wince and grumble out a "i panicked" before standing up myself, wobbling a bit as i put pressure on my bad knee. Kris's face pulls into a worried grimace and reaches out to steady me.

"You should really get that checked out." Kris says, squeezing my arm.

I shrug and follow Kris inside, while internally hoping Kris chickens out so i don't have to do this. I miss Baekhyun, but i'm not sure if i'm ready to face him yet.

>>>>>>

~Baekhyun~

"Did you see the look on that guy's face?" Jongin asks, his expression a mixture of amusement and awe.

I shake my head, and snort at how unbelievably happy he looks. Maybe they are made for each other. "do you understand why we call him SatanSoo now? He's all sweet and squishy, until you piss him off then... well, you saw."

Jongin giggles and nods his head, like an excited child. I roll my eyes at the love-drunk idiot and pet his head gently, to which he wraps an arm around my waist, causing me to grin at the moron. I'm seriously happy for the kid. What Kyungsoo just did for him, means more than anyone could ever articulate. I'm not a huge fan of the tiny Satan, but I have to respect his balls. All of us were ready to scrap for Jongin, but Kyungsoo was the only one who mattered. Defense coming from him, means there's hope. Means that Jongin might get his happy ending after all. The kid deserves it. I'm tired of seeing him hurt by weak assholes who don't have the guts to stand up and be proud to have Jongin standing next to them.

"Take your arm off of him." A voice whines abruptly, and I don't even have to look to know who it belongs to. My eyes close automatically in exasperation.

I take a deep breath and turn around, opening my eyes to find my best friend, giving me a slightly desperate expression, rather than his normal angry one. It's surprising, but it doesn't make me feel any better. I'm still upset as hell at the man, and need more time to think things through. I really don't know how we're supposed to get past this.

I regard Chanyeol, noticing Kyungsoo standing behind him with a worried expression. Forever the guardian watchdog. My frustration isn't at Kyungsoo though, it's at the dumbass I'm in love with standing before me, swaying a bit back and forth.

When a short silence fills the space between us; Chanyeol still not saying anything, while frowning at the arm still tucked around my middle, my patience runs out. I roll my eyes and sigh dramatically, before turning away from him to mount the stairs.

"Baek... Wait." Chanyeol says, catching my wrist, staggering a bit. He's drunk. I want to talk to Chanyeol, finally work out some shit because the giant dumbass is just too important to me, but not like this.

"Go back to Kyungsoo, Yeol. I'm not in the mood." I say, attempting to walk up the stairs once again, thinking about the mass of homework sitting on my desk, needing to be addressed.

Normally, I'd be right in the mist of this. Being a social person is just who i am. I love talking to people and meeting new friends. My mom always used to curse me when i was younger for talking to random people everywhere we went. He'd always say that i didn't know a stranger. Hell, i guess i still don't.

Honestly, i would have given anything to be here a few months ago, but I'm just not feeling it. Whether it be my pressing deadline, or my need for space to think a lot of things through. I don't really want to be here right now. Which surprises me that Chanyeol is. Where I'm usually the life of the party, Chanyeol's content to hang out on the sidelines, or even in some cases, retreat to the seclusion of his room.

But here he is, my dumbass of a best friend, drunk off his ass. He's literally like a giant puppy, craving love and affection when he drinks. It's cute most of the time, but right now it just makes my chest throb.

"Chanyeol, we can talk later. I'm going to my room." I say, attempting to pull his hand off of me.

Chanyeol's face pulls into a deep pout and his fingers claw at my shirt sleeve, trying to hold on. "But you won't talk to me. You've been ignoring me all week, and i miss you."

My heart clenches painfully at that, and the desire to forgive him and pull him into my arms is almost unbearable... but, i just can't. That's the fucking kicker out of this. Chanyeol hasn't even tried to apologize, because he doesn't even know what he did wrong. He doesn't even know how bad his words cut me, and it so damn hard to talk to him, because even though I'm mad at him and i can barely look at his stupid face right now. I still love him. I don't want Chanyeol to look at me differently.

And yet... drunk Chanyeol won't remember this, will he? Chanyeol's infamous for forgetting what he does when he drinks. He's done some crazy shit while intoxicated, (like sticking a suction-cup dildo to the statue of our founding father and being detained by campus security for the night, kind of crazy) but always claimed innocence the next day without even a bit of hesitance.

"Yeol... you really hurt me." I say, taking a step up the stairs to be eye to eye with the freak of nature.

The pain filled grimace that pulls at his lips, almost makes me regret this... almost. "I don't even know what I did wrong."

I take a deep breath and stabilize myself. 'You can do this' i reassure myself. "You called me a whore, Chanyeol."

Chanyeol reels back, his hand dropping from my shirt sleeve, as his eyebrows knit in confusion. Obviously his brain is trying to come up with when exactly he insulted me. "No, i called Jongin a whore."

I sigh and glance over his shoulder at Jongin, who hangs his head slightly seeming to find the floor exceedingly interesting. Kyungsoo's face has hardened into unemotional disinterest, but i recognize the blaze in his eyes that tells me otherwise. "I asked you what you'd think if i was the same, Chanyeol. You said you'd be disgusted. You said I'm better than that, but I'm not. I've slept around with more people last year than Jongin has in his whole life. Calling him a whore, is like slapping me in the face."

He seems to digest this, looking like the information i just provided isn't exactly computing. I guess that's what happens when the version in your head is smashed to pieces with reality. "I don't... but i ..."

I scoff at his impression of a fish "Jesus, Yeol. Is your view of Jongin that skewed? That's still not a lot of people. I love sex, and I'm as open with my body as i can be, but i don't just bed hop, and neither does he. We're sexual promiscuous, yes, but we don't run around fucking anything that can walk. Jongin has slept with two people in the past six months, and I'm one of them." I yell, getting even more heated the more i speak... but then the fire drains from my body all at once, leaving me cold at what just came out of my mouth.

Chanyeol seems to feel the same, judging by the look of complete shock on his face. It would normally be fascinating watching so many emotions cross his eyes. I can see each one enter, then fade as another overpowers it. In this context though, it just leaves me feeling achingly numb, especially once his eyes harden and he seems to settle on anger.

"You slept with Jongin?" Chanyeol asks in a scarily calm voice.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes, feeling way too unprepared for this. It's not that i never planned on telling Chanyeol about Jongin, it's just that i never wanted it to come out like this. I never wanted him to get hurt by this, but here he is, hurt as deeply as he can be. At least it came from me.

"Yes, we've been involved in a sexual relationship since the beginning of this semester." I add, deciding to just lay all of it out in the table. It's time i stop running, and face my best friend head on. It's not like he'll remember anyways. "But, it was only because I've been waiting for you to get your own head out of your ass."

Chanyeol's lip curls at this new information and he looks like he either wants to punch me in the face, or start crying. Honestly, I'm not sure which would be the lesser of the evils. "You've been fucking around with him for months and you want to blame that on me?"

My eyes narrow, and i cross my arms. I notice that a small group of people are forming around us, and I really don't want to do this with an audience, but damn it, I'm tired of waiting. Drunk or not, Chanyeol will know the truth whether i like it or not. It'll be all over campus. There's no more hiding. Out with it then.

"I'm not blaming it on anyone. There's nothing to blame, because i did nothing wrong. Jongin and i are both single. We're both clean. And we're both in love with idiots who don't understand how to man the fuck up and do something about it." I yell, fixing Chanyeol with a challenging look.

Astonishment makes its entrance alongside the anger, and Chanyeol flinches slightly. "W-what?"

I groan and drop my arms, clenching my fists together "I'm fucking in love with you, Park Chanyeol. I have been for a long time, but you're too fucking clueless, and I'm so tired of waiting around for you to get it. I'm hurt that you think of Jongin as a whore, because that means by your definition, i am too. I'm hurt that you've been wasting so much damn time trying to figure yourself out, while I'm over here dying for you just to love me. I've been waiting for so long, and I'm just done with it. I need you. I need you as more than just a best friend.

When i look up, realizing that i had lowered my gaze, Chanyeol looks as if he can't breath. His eyes wide and his jaw dropped. "I ...i love you too, Baek."

A sigh falls from my lips and i shake my head, a blurriness filling my vision. "I know."

Chanyeol's face softens and he steps forward, but i hold up my hand "don't."

"But, i..."

"I'm still really hurt, Yeol. How could you say things like that? How could you place a label on me that everyone else did? You're my best friend. Out of anyone, you're supposed to see me clearly. You're always supposed to be on my side." I say, finally letting the tears I've been swallowing for too long, fall.

Chanyeol makes a low squeak of distress "fuck, Baek. Please don't cry. I'm sorry. I never saw you that way, i swear."

"It didn't feel that way, Chanyeol." I yell, slapping his hand away as he tries to reach out to me again.

"Please, Baek. Will you fucking listen to me for once in your damn life?" Chanyeol barks, his own voice raising in desperation.

"Don't talk to him like that." A voice I really wish would just stay out of it this time, intervenes.

I'm already down the stairs and pushing between the two before they can get to each other "Jongin, please. Let me handle this."

Jongin's eyes, hard and angry, soften when they snap to my own. He looks a bit like a kicked puppy. "He's being a dick."

I take a deep breath, sighing then nodding "i know, but he's drunk. Let me handle this."

Jongin eyebrows scrunch together and he blinks at me "Baek, he's not..."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Chanyeol roars, "this has nothing to do with you, and now you want to have a little chat? I'm going to fucking kick your ass, Kim Jongin."

"Calm down, Chanyeol." Kyungsoo says, pushing Chanyeol back. His chest leaving my hand.

I send a thankful glance at the other. For once we seem to be on the same side. "Everyone needs to calm the fuck down."

"Not while that fucker is still near you." Chanyeol's usual booming voice sounds even more rough when he's pissed and yelling. I've never seen him this worked up before. He stares holes through my hand still placed securely on Jongin's sternum.

Jongin's eyes ignite in that familiar way that makes me internally curse, and push him back a little further. That's the last thing we need right now. "Like you're any better, asshole. You've done nothing but hurt him. At least i made him feel good and cared for."

"Jongin." I warn, but it's too late.

Chanyeol surges forward, surprisingly pushing past the demon known as Kyungsoo and thrusts his hands into Jongin's chest, sending him flailing back out of my reach, and crashing into a table. A ceramic bowl falls to the ground, shattering. No one pays it any attention. Chanyeol then grabs my arm and yanks me towards him. "Stay the fuck away from him!"

Jongin is standing inches away from Chanyeol's face in seconds, matching sneers taking on their lips. Seriously? Are they rabid animals? "I doubt he has the same opinion. After all, when you're fucked that well you always come crawling back for more."

My eyes widen and i know exactly who's running the show now. I wince and prepare for the worst, but luckily it doesn't happen. I glance over to Chanyeol to find him struggling in Kris's arms, his back to the older's chest. I breath a sigh of relief and take to dealing with the idiot known as Kai.

"Enough." I tell him, "just stop it now, or we're all going to say things we regret."

"I agree with Baekhyun. Everyone just needs to calm down and take a breath." Kris's loud, authoritative tone says, dismissing most of the crowd surrounding the drama.

"No, he needs to hear the truth. His precious little Baekhyun isn't as pure as his delusional mind makes him out to be. It's ridiculous and he needs a reality check." Kai hisses, his eyes seeming to challenge Kris rather than Chanyeol at this point.

My eyebrows knit, and i shake my head at the sudden headache that coming on. Fuck this. Fuck everything about this. I take a step back from Kai, and receive a panicky, pleading look from Kyungsoo. I take a deep breath and fix him with a look that says it all. I'm done. I'm not Jongin's keeper, nor am i Kai's.

"Jongin, stop." Kris says, his eyes dark and threatening.

Kai's lips twitch into that signature smirk of his and a shiver goes up my spine... this isn't good. "Come on, Kris. Let's inform Chanyeol of how well 'traveled' his little best friend is."

Kris's eyes narrow, and his hold tightens on a cursing, struggling Chanyeol. "I have no idea what you're talking about, and it's none of my business."

Kai's eyes glimmer with a wickedness that forces me to take a step back, and I'm nearly fascinated to see Kyungsoo take a step towards the holy terror that is Kai, out of the corner of my eye. "Are you sure? Maybe you should ask, Tao. I'm sure your boyfriend can share some insight into the subject very well."

My eyes widen and my breath catches. No one knows about that.... no one is supposed to know about that... how does... how... what? Kris's eyes snap to mine, as well as Chanyeol's, and pretty much the rest of the room. Fuck.

"What is he talking about, Baekhyun?" Kris asks.

The lump I'm my throat refuses to go down and my lungs don't seem to want to function properly "i-i ..."

My lack of an answer is enough for Kris and his eyes drop. Guilt and regret surges through me. I want to explain. I want to tell him what really happened. Fuck. I want to tell everyone the truth and explain myself, but i know no one is listening right now. Too much alcohol mixed with heightened emotion isn't helping anything.

I groan and run a hand through my hair "I'm so over this. Fuck you guys." I spit, and head towards the door, grabbing my coat.

"Baek." I hear over my shoulder, causing me to pause. He would be the one to call out to me right now.

I hang my head and release a sigh. "You know where to find me when you're ready to talk." I say, raising my voice so he can hear.

The door slams behind me, just in time to hear more yelling, a loud smack and a round of gasps and shouts follow it. I'm tempted to go back inside and see what happened, but i just can't bring myself to care that much. I'm just so fucking tired. Chanyeol will find me when he needs to, and until we work things out, there's no point in me being here.

When i step out onto the lawn, feeling the cold evening air breeze through my hair, an abrupt streak of lightening, followed by a loud crack of thunder fills the sky. The onslaught of a sudden downpour, soaks me in seconds, and makes me stand there thinking about the perfect poetics of this moment. I really fucking hate weekends.

>>>>

My Chickens!

Here's some ChanBaek.

Shits getting real guys and it's only going to get worse. Never let Kyungsoo near frying pans, that's all I'm saying.

Sorry for a bit of a lull between updates. School's rough this semester, but I'm getting through. Just bear with me guys.

There's not much to talk about with this chapter, because it speaks for itself, but if you guys do have any questions or comments, send them my way.

KaiSoo is up next. See you then. Byes!

~M~