~Kris~

"Is there a reason your presence is interrupting my quiet?" Kyungsoo asks, his eyes never once leaving the book in his hands. 

A smirk tugs at my lips. Kyungsoo's always been this way. He loves his friends, but come in between him and his private time and he'll end you. It amuses me more than it terrifies me, at least it does now. I've been put into a choke-hold by Soo a few times, and trust me, the little dudes stronger than he looks.

"Kyungsoo, my darling." i say as sweetly as i can.

Amusement flutters through my head when Kyungsoo's eyes snap to mine, a little dark and threatening. I'm pretty sure interrupting Soo while he's reading is considered a sin to him.

"State your business or leave." He barks, doing that little lip curl that used to drive me crazy. I knew things were going to get rough when he'd give me that expression.

"Yeol just messaged me that Chen and Minseok have arrived in Busan. We have today to prepare for tomorrow night." i say, an insinuating tone to my voice.

Kyungsoo narrows his eyes and places his bookmark against the page he's on and shuts it. Clearly, he understands that he won't be reading it anytime soon.

"You still want to do this?" Kyungsoo asks, his eyebrow ticking up in that way that makes me feel the full extent of my fondness for him.

I shrug, and move further into the room to sit beside the smaller man "I think everyone needs a break. There's been a lot of shit going on, and everyone is kind of in a bad place."

Kyungsoo shifts closer to me, his folded knee pressing to my thigh "That's exactly why i think this is a bad idea. No one is in the proper place to be sociable right now. The last thing they need is to be surrounded by alcohol infused stupidity. Have you even spoken to Tao yet?"

Brushing that off, i reach out and trail my fingers lightly over Soo's knee, tracing aimless patterns. "i just think it'll be a good idea for everyone to blow off some steam. The club is closed this weekend. Chen is away. No one has plans. It's perfect."

"Running away from your problems doesn't mean they go away, Kris. Talk to your boyfriend, and cancel this party before it's too late. Nothing good will come of this." Kyungsoo says ominously.

I sigh and stand up, not for a second missing the almost rejected look in his eyes. When will i stop hurting him?

"Don't be so negative, Kyungsoo. It'll be a good time, you'll see." I add, plastering my usual smile used for teachers and student government meetings.

Even i know this party is a stupid idea, but i just feel that the boys need something. Anything, to bring them out of their fucking rooms and talk to each other. I know i need to deal with my shit, but i just want one weekend to act like a damn college student. I just want to get tipsy, lose myself in a crowd of people, and let go of everything that's been laying on my shoulders. I know Kyungsoo is right, as he usually is, but i just want to keep running for a little bit longer.

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes and sits back into his original position. The unbreakable, emotionless mask back in place, and picks up his book. "I'll be having plenty of fun on my own." he nods towards the piece of literature in front of him, clearly meaning his intent for this weekend.

I nod as a small sigh falls from my mouth. This was always one of the main differences between Soo and me. It might have even been our breaking point if we had stayed together. Where I'm sociable, he's quiet and reserved. Where i like to talk and have attention on me, Soo would rather stand in the corner. Where i want to hide from my problems in a party with good booze, Soo hides from them in his room with a good book. We're different in that sense, and maybe that's why he fails to understand why i really need this weekend.

>>>>>>

~Tao~

"You look like you belong in a Taylor Swift video." i comment, sliding a large pack of plastic cups into the cart.

Baekhyun, who's reading the list Kris had shoved into his hand after telling us to go to the store for supplies, glances up at me, his eyes not even showing the amount of light they should.

"You also haven't even tried to jump into the cart and told me to take you to the toy aisle like you usually do." Yixing adds, pushing the cart forward to stand closer to his friend.

Baekhyun just shrugs and points ahead at a shelf "we need napkins too."

"Nope." Shaking my head, i push the others arm down and stand in front of him with my hands on my hips "damn it, Baek. This is weird for you. You've been acting... normal, and it's freaking me out."

The second Baekhyun hangs his head and follows it up with a sniffle, i know we fucked up.

"Babe." i coo softly, as both Yixing and i wrap our friend in a hug "What's going on?"

Baekhyun sniffles, and glances up at me with glassy eyes "Chanyeol called me a whore."

"Excuse me?" Yixing asks, his tone murderous.

The smol bean in our arms sighs, and hangs his head once again "not directly, but he called Jongin a whore, and i have just as much sex as he does, so in relation..."

I watch fascinated as Yixing's eyes harden and take on a dangerous edge that has me praying for Chanyeol. No matter how upset i am at the tall dumbass, no one should have to be on the other side of Yixing's wrath.

"Tell us what happened, Baek."

Baekhyun takes in a deep, shaky breath, and lets it all out. My jaw drops once Baekhyun finishes laying everything on the table. He explains everything, and i mean, everything. I knew about his little thing with Jongin, but i had no idea it went that deep. I also knew about his falling out with Chanyeol, i mean everyone has noticed with the way they've skirted around each other this past week. But all of this... it's a lot to digest. I've been so wrapped up in my own shit, i hadn't realized Baek was going through this.

"I'm going to strip Chanyeol down to his boxers, and then tie him to the fountain in front of the library on campus and put a sign around his neck that says 'i slut shamed my best friend' and make him sit there all day." Yixing says, his voice sounding icy and unforgiving.

I blink at the other over Baekhyun's shoulder, slightly impressed. It's one of the things i love about him. Yixing will do anything for a friend, and when you hurt that friend, he turns into a seething, vindictive bitch. i love it.

Baekhyun just shakes his head, seeming to break further at hearing the man he loves being cursed on his best friend's tongue. It's honestly hard to watch someone so confident and strong, crumble at just a few words from someone who means everything from them. I'm more inclined to go with Yixing's idea with every sniffle.

"I kissed Jonghyun." i admit abruptly, trying to get the others mind off of his own asshole of a best friend.

It works too well, when two wide sets of eyes snap up to mine.

"What?" Yixing asks.

"Dude, the hell?" Baek asks, sounding a bit more like himself.

I take a deep breath of my own and explain what happened, not quiet liking the hot seat. I feel a deeper kick of sympathy for Baekhyun at what he had to just admit, when even admitting a kiss that wasn't even my fault makes me feel like shit.

"That's why you've been sleeping in your own room?" Yixing asks after i finish, and i nod, looking sheepishly at the ground.

"Have you two talked about it?" Baekhyun asks, his voice sounding concerned.

I shake my head and bite at my lip, avoiding their gazes. "I know it's childish, but i just... I'm scared that the next time we talk, might also be the last. At first i was mad at him for hitting Jonghyun, but then i realized that i was actually really fucking terrified. What if he's done with me? What if we pushed him too far and he doesn't want this anymore? Maybe that's why he hasn't been putting up much of a fight. Maybe that's why he hasn't been a jealous monster. Maybe... maybe he's really over us."

It isn't until arms fold around my shoulders and waist that i realize that there's a certain wetness on my cheeks.

"If he is... You let him go." Yixing says, holding my face in his hands and staring deep into my eyes, dropping truth on me only like he's capable of. Yixing is usually so soft and gentle, but when the man needs to be serious he balls the fuck up. "It'll hurt like hell, and you'll break to pieces, but you'll get through it. You'll move on and you'll do it with us by your side."

Baekhyun nods against my chest "We'll move out of the house and into an apartment together. You won't be alone if he walks away, Tao. We promise."

My lips trembles and i nod, even if i can't even fathom the possibility of such a thing right now. "Same for you too, Baek. If shit gets too hard with Yeol, we can be out of there within a coupe of days." The arms around my waist tighten, signaling that he heard me.

I'm sure we look extremely odd to passerby's. Three grown ass men, standing in the middle of an aisle of a grocery store, hugging each other and crying, but that's just always been us. The other guys like to call us "The three twinketeers" because of our friendship. We've always been close since freshmen year and we tend to be closer to the bottoming end of the spectrum within looks and attitude. It holds no actual ground though. I know for a fact that Baekhyun can top when he needs to, and well, Yixing is so versatile he might as well be reversible. We used to hate the nickname, but standing here like this, it kind of makes sense.

Three cleared faces, and a another round of hugs later, we finally separate and begin walking down the aisle again.

"I guess i didn't realize how much we've missed with being so wrapped up in our own lives." i say, placing the thing of napkins into the cart. I turn to the other two and they give me agreeing nods. "Yixing you're the only one who hasn't said anything. How are things on the whole Junmyeon front? You've been quiet since you came back from the convention last weekend."

By the end of Yixing's recount, both Baek and i stare at the male in utter shock. His events are far more alarming than our own.

"Why the hell didn't you tell us?" Baekhyun asks.

Yixing lifts an eyebrow "because you've both been walking around like a kicked puppies. What was i supposed to do? Drop all of that on your laps when you're already in turmoil."

"Yes." we both say at the same moment, and glance at each other before dissolving into a fit of giggles. Yixing shakes his head, but can't help the grin at our moods clearly lifting a bit. "Seriously, Yixing. That's huge. What are you going to do?"

Yixing sighs and tilts his head "i don't know. Honestly, i don't know if i want to do anything. Clearly there's more to Junmyeon than i previously thought, but i just don't know what i want yet."

I nod, understanding his hesitance, and confusion. Hell, we all do. That's what got us all here after all.

"Well, like we said, we run away together. One of us, all of us. Always." i say, coming up between my friends and wrapping my arms around their shoulders. "but, we bring Sehun..."

Yixing snorts and continues walking "he'd love that. Being stuffed into a small apartment, constantly being obsessed over by all of his 'mothers'. No young boy would ever rebel against that."

I chuckle and have to agree with him. Living in a large house, where he can escape to his own space is one thing, but being shoved into a small apartment with no one but us would be a bit suffocating... Could i bear to leave him with Kris though? I push that thought out of my head, not really even willing to think of that now.

My shoulders deflate a bit and i feel a small nudge at my side, and glance over to see Baekhyun smiling gently at me "it'll be okay, Tao. It may be a mess right now, but i can feel that things will work themselves out soon enough."

The smile i offer up in reply is genuine, as i tighten my arm around him. "come on, lets go antagonize Yixing about whether he plans on calling Junmyeon sir or master."

Baekhyun smirks and that familiar mischievous light enters his eyes. It's slight, but its there. "or Daddy."

I snort and we both fast walk towards the man in question. Yeah, i guess Baekhyun's right. With friends like these, no matter what happens, it'll be okay.

>>>>>>

~Kris~

A small sigh falls from my lips, as i lean against the door frame, arms crossed over my chest. I watch the other frustratingly rummage through the closet, groaning with each piece of brightly colored or heavily jeweled fabric.

Honestly, i hold the same amount of distaste for Tao's wardrobe.

"What are you doing in here?" i ask, causing the boy to jump and spin around looking like a child who just got caught trying to sneak cookies from the kitchen before dinner.

"I just... I..." He stutters, his eyes shift everywhere but meeting my own.

My chest clenches in an uncomfortable way. It took me years to get this boy to act natural around me. When it comes to the relationship he has with his parents, the one with his father is the most strenuous. When I took over the fatherly role in his life, it took forever for him to warm up to me. To show him that a father and son relationship doesn't need to be strained. I never want Sehun to feel like he can't come to me or feel uncomfortable in my presence.

"Sehun... why are you acting hesitant around me? What are you doing?" I asks, cautiously. Talking to him as you would a frightened animal.

Sehun takes a deep breath and closes his eyes "I'm in here getting clothes for Tao for tonight. He wanted to wear a specific sweater and i can't find it." He opens his eyes and fixes me with a regretful expression "i don't want you to think i'm choosing sides, Kris. I swear i'm not... but..."

"Tao needs you more than i do" i supply, to which he lowers his head. Clearly it sounded better before it was said aloud.

I understand it, though. Even if he's feeling rueful, i can never bring myself to be mad at the boy who's become so much like my own son. I' actually kind of relived that Sehun is with Tao right now. Tao's always been a person to seek comfort from others, while i'm more of a suffer in silence type.

"I'm glad he has you, Hunnie. We both know how he can be, and i don't have to worry about him too much because he's with you. Thank you for being by his side through this." I say, offering him a smile to maybe help his nerves a bit.

Sehun's face pulls into an unexpected grimace and he seems on the verge of tears. I feel like I've just been roundhoused in the gut. I hate seeing this kid cry. "What even is this, Kris? Are you guys breaking up? is Tao leaving you for that guy?"

My head shakes before i understand why. Those are all valid questions, and i just realized that i don't have a clear answer to any of them.

"I don't know, Hunnie. I really don't know what's going on in his head anymore. I've tried to talk to him since i punched that guy, but he will barely even look at me... I'm just as lost as you are, Kid."

"Do you still love him?" Sehun asks catching me off guard.

I blink slowly and tilt my head gently to the side. "With every bit of my being, Sehun. He is and will always be the love of my life."

Sehun stares at me for a few seconds before crossing the room and folding himself into my arms. I don't even hesitate to pull him tight against me. "This isn't fair."

I chuckle lightly at how much he sounds like a child and run my fingers through his hair "That's life, Hunnie. Shit hurts. But you know what?" Sehun shakes his head against my neck, and i resist the urge to coo at him. "I'd do it all over again if i had to. Even knowing it might still end up this way, i'd still choose him. Tao is the best thing that ever happened to me and i don't regret a single second."

Sehun pulls back, resting his chin on my chest. "Would he say the same?"

I swallow hard at that, not missing the sympathetic wince the other pulls. "I hope so, Hunnie. I really hope so." I step away from the other, taking note of the slight disappointment and smile gently, brushing my fingers over his cheek to dispel it. "The sweater you're looking for it folded up in the second drawer at the bottom of the stack."

Sehun gives me a concerned look that lets me know he's not buying my nonchalance in the slightest, but i pass it off, heading into the bathroom. I start taking my cloths off, to jump into the shower, ready to just enjoy my evening and forget for a few hours.

......

~Tao~

"Here's your fucking sweater" I hear, right before fuzzy material thunks against my face.

I blink and sit up on the bed, setting my phone down down and gently pulling the material off of my head. Sehun's back greets me, and i don't even try to hide the bewildered expression when he turns around and narrows his eyes at me in distaste.

"Hun... what's wrong?" i asks, slowly wondering what the hell caused this abrupt one eighty mood change. Just a bit ago he was smiling and skipping around our room, talking about how Luhan will be at the party tonight, and that they agreed to hang out.

"Kris walked in on me getting your sweater." Sehun deadpans, staring at me with a coldness I've never seen him direct at me before.

I sigh and scoot forward on my bed "Hun..."

"Don't." Sehun stops me, holding up his hand "don't, Hyung. He's fucking miserable, Tao. Kris doesn't know what the hell is going on and is so fucking confused. Whatever the reason you're doing this is your business, but when i have to watch the man who is basically the only father I've ever known physically crumble every time you pass by him when you won't even spare him a fucking glance, it becomes my business." Sehun rants, surprising me. I've never seen Sehun this riled up before, and i guess i didn't notice how much he payed attention to us.

"I'm sorry, Sehun." i says, at a loss for anything else.

Sehun scoffs and shakes his head "i'm not the one you need to be apologizing to, Tao. Kris has done nothing wrong and this is getting really fucking ridiculous. Talk. To. Your. Boyfriend. Like a damn adult, Tao. He told me he loves you so much and that he doesn't regret a single thing when it comes to you. This is destroying him. Quit doing whatever you're doing with that other guy and shape the fuck up, Zitao."

I sit back and blink steadily at the other, completly shell shocked. Sehun's never spoken to me this way. We've always had a caring, delicate relationship... but maybe this is what we both know i need to hear. I have been acting like a child. I have been completly unfair to the man i love, and i do need to get my shit together.

"I never cheated on him." i hurry out, just as Sehun reaches for the bedroom door handle.

Sehun's expression softens, but his eyes still hold the same resolve "I know, Tao. But he doesn't. Talk to your fucking husband before you lose him."

My head lowers as the door slams.

>>>>>>

~Kris~

I should have expected this. Really, i was having too good of a time, so i should have expected something to ruin it.

An involuntary growl leaves my lips as i watch that asshole walk into my house, his eyes bright and searching like he's actually fucking welcome here.

"Easy there, buddy." Chanyeol says, motioning to where my hand is damn near breaking the bottle resting in it's grip.

I take a deep breath, but feel it nearly punched out of me, when i watch Tao come out of the crowd and bound up to the dick who was totally not invited. Jonghyun leans toward Tao and whispers into his ear and Tao nods, leading the other away.

A hand on my arm stops me and makes me realize that i was subconsciously following them. I turn to find Yeol staring at me with a knowing, yet warning expression "do you really want to do that? Do you really want to be that guy, Kris? After everything you've worked towards?"

Sighing, i realize Chanyeol has a point, but i also know that i'm tired of standing in the shadows. I've tried to be rational. I've tried to handle this like an adult and wait for the man i love to come back to me, but i'm so fucking tired of this. The Kris from high school would never let another man get this close to Tao if he had suspicions on his intent. The Kris back then had balls. He took what he wanted, when he wanted and made no excuses.

I miss my backbone and everything that came with it. I might not be the same hotheaded kid i was back then, but i'll be damned if i let someone else come in and take what's mine without a fight.

"Let me go, Yeol. If i have to let him go, then i will, but i refuse to stand back and say i didn't even try."

Chanyeol blinks at me, a contemplative look in his eyes, and he eventually lets his hand fall from my arm, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. We nod at each other, and i turn, going after the man i love, fists raised and feet squared.

>>>>>>

~Tao~

"What did you need to talk about?" i ask, leaning against the desk. The study was the one place we blocked off for the party. Baekhyun and Kyungsoo would probably kill us if anyone ruined their books.

Jonghyun grabs at his shirt sleeve and nervously looks to the floor, biting his lip. "i-i... i'm not sure how to say this"

"It's okay, Jonghyun. We're friends, you can tell me anything." I say, sad to see my friend struggling.

Jonghyun sighs and finally looks up at me "i finally told Kibum everything. I told him about our kiss, and he got upset. I didn't understand why he'd be so mad, and just got so frustrated myself, that i admitted everything. I told him how i felt about him and what my intentions were with you."

"What did he say?" i ask, feeling concerned for my friend. If he looks this upset, maybe it didn't go so well.

"He admitted that he felt the same, but it wasn't until i started to pull away with you, that he really took them seriously. He told me that he always felt something for me, but was scared about being true to himself. Kibum wants to be honest with himself and give us a shot." Jonghyun explains, still holding a sober expression for some reason.

The grin that takes over my lips is the first real smile I've had in days "really? Jonghyun, that's amazing... why aren't you ridiculously happy right now?"

Jonghyun swallows thickly and locks eyes with me, his holding a resolve i didn't know he could have "Kibum also asked me a question i wasn't prepared to deal with."

"What question?"

"He asked me how i feel about you." Jonghyun deadpans, his tone lacking any sort of argument about what he's saying.

I feel a slight increase in my pulse and i nod "and?"

Jonghyun takes a step towards me "i told him i needed time to think."

My mouth makes a voiceless "oh", and i grip the desk a little tighter.

It's not that i'm not attracted to Jonghyun, or that i didn't once or twice think of him in a more than friendlier way. He was by my side through a lot of things and he's an amazing person. In another lifetime, perhaps we could have worked out and ended up together. We would work great and be unbelievably happy, but in this timeline, Kris exists. In any world, any universe in which Kris is there, i'll always find my way to him. I'll always choose him.

"Think somewhere else, Asshat." My head snaps up at that, wide eyed and staring in disbelief at my boyfriend calmly standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame, staring holes into Jonghyun's terrified eyes. "i warned you about staying away from him, didn't i?"

Kris breaks away from Jonghyun, finding my eyes, his gaze never once faltering on my own. He looks calm, but the fire blazing in his eyes is anything but. He's seething and wants nothing more than to make Jonghyun's face unrecognizable, but he's holding back? Why? It's not that I want Jonghyun to get hurt, but why is he restricting himself, if he actually still wanted me? If i was still worth enough to get insanely jealous over?

Sehun's words from earlier slap across my face and i have to rethink my position. Kris doesn't regret us. Kris still loves me. He's just confused and that just makes a whole round of guilt push through me. Maybe Kris has been hesitating because he doesn't think i want him.

The look that passes his eyes seems to be telling me that it's my move, that the ball is in my court and it's time i made a decision. But there's never been any competition. There's never been any doubt. Kris is my only path. But am i his?

Apparently, my lack of answer isn't acceptable, because the next second i know Kris is crossing the room in those effortless, long strides only his long ass legs can make look graceful. I open my mouth to say something, but before i get the chance, i'm being lifted, and thrown over my boyfriend's shoulder.

A loud squeak leaves my lips and i gasp, fisting Kris's shirt for dear life. Obviously this isn't the first time I've been thrown over my boyfriend's shoulder, but it's still a bit shocking when i didn't even get fair warning.

"Even if you don't respect the boundaries of relationships, or even orders to stay the fuck away, i'm hoping you can respect that i need to have a private conversation with my boyfriend, yes?" Kris asks, turning to Jonghyun. I can't see his face, but i hear the small squeaky "Yes" he makes as an answer.

I refuse to think about the way Kris's voice dropped to a husky rasp when he said, 'my boyfriend' and send an apologetic wave at a heavily surprised and confused Jonghyun as i'm carried out of the room.

My feet don't hit the ground again until we're back in the comfort of our room. Even when he hauled me through the party, woops and whistles following us. Even having to face the smug and amused faces of our brothers as he mounted the stares. Eventually, i just tucked my face into his back and blocked out the world, too embarrassed to deal with them right now.

"Tao" Kris says, his tone demanding my attention.

I lift my eyes from the floor and let them be captured in the embers of his own. "Yeah?"

"I need you to fucking talk to me. I'm tired of skirting around each other. I'm done with ignoring each other and over-analyzing each others every fucking move. I need you to talk to me like an adult. To explain to me what the hell has been going on." Kris enjoins, his voice raised.

I bite at my lip and know my face betrays how guilty i feel. Kris has been so in the dark through all of this. He's been so lost, looking for me to throw him a lifeline, but instead i just threw up more roadblocks and obstacles.

Kris's lip curls dangerously at my silence and pushes me back till my back hits the door, his hand slams beside my head. If it were another time, i'd comment on how k-dramish this is, but now's not the proper moment.

I let out a small whine and drop my eyes, before he grabs my chin between his fingers and forces me to look into his eyes "fucking say anything, Tao. I'm so over this. I'm done questioning myself. I'm done doubting. I'm done being fucking sick to my stomach wondering if someone else knows what you taste like. What the inside of you feels like. What your voice sound like, when you cum." Kris's eyes engulf mine in with the fire raging in them "It's fucking maddening, Tao. I can't fucking stand it." he yells in my face.

I flinch and glance away. Hot tears betray me, sliding without permission when gravity forces them to spill over. The gentle touch of his fingers brushing over my cheek, surprises me, forcing my eyes to snap back to his.

Kris's eyes soften, any trace of anger dissipating, and he levels me with one of the most focused looks I've seen from him in a really long time. The last time i saw this look, he was confessing how he felt about me in high school.

"What do you want, Tao?" Kris asks, his voice chillingly stable.

"What do you mean?" I ask, confused by the sudden shift in his behavior.

Kris takes a deep breath and i watch his eyes harden, seeming to guard himself. Fuck, what have i been doing? I've made that man i love more than anything in this world so scared and hurt that he's put up walls between us. I just wanted to make him jealous and maybe a bit possessive, but in that i made the love of my life doubt himself... doubt me. I broke our trust in my stupid need to spice up our relationship.

Why couldn't i have just been a damn adult and talked to Kris, asked him to fuck me into his desk or something. He probably would have been thoroughly inclined to do so, but i messed up and made this way too complicated than it needed to be. There was nothing wrong with our relationship, just with my perception of it. My lack of communication and understanding for my boyfriend ruined something perfect. What the fuck is wrong with me?

"What do you want, Tao? Do you want, Jonghyun?" Kris asks, his expression still too soft and controlled for my own comfort.

I shake my head and attempt to swallow down the lump in my throat. This isn't what i want. I love Jonghyun, but not like i love Kris. I know i'll never love anyone like i love Kris.

"Then what... what do you want?" He asks, his face finally showing a crack. No anger. No jealousy. Just pain. If i didn't feel like the biggest asshole before, i do now.

"You. All I've ever wanted is you Kris." I say, my voice sounding painfully strained.

Kris's jaw shifts and he breaths out a full breath "You have a funny way of showing it."

I lower my head, and close my eyes tightly "i never wanted to hurt you. I didn't think it would go this far. I just wanted you to get jealous, to put up a fucking fight for me like you used to. I used to have to pry you off of me daily. Do you know how many pairs of underwear you ruined in one way or another back in high school. We couldn't get enough of each other... i just... i missed that. I thought that without the constant need to fuck each others brains out, we were losing each other, that we were simmering out."

I watch Kris's face as he processes everything i just told him. So many emotions flash across his face that i don't even have time to read all of them "you..." I wait, letting him work everything through. Kris pulls away from me, taking a few steps back. My heart rate accelerates, panicking by his reaction. "You planned this?"

Swallowing seems to be a hopeless cause at this point. My throat raw and aching from swallowed emotions. I still can't look at him. Can't face the product of what I've done. "We just planned on hanging out a bit. Stirring up some jealousy... but everything snowballed and things got so much more complicated than we intended. I promise, the intention was never to hurt you or make it seem like i was straying. I love you, Kris. I love you so much, and i swear to the gods that hasn't changed."

There's a beat of silence, before soft, gentle fingers tug at my chin again, forcing me to look up into Kris's eyes. My breath catches at the emotions i find settled there.

"Say that again." Kris requests, his voice thick and husky, fucking finally, with feeling.

I open my mouth, confused as to what he wants me to say, then it clicks. The one thing Kris has been uncertain over this whole time. The one thing that i made him doubt. Is the one thing he needs to hear.

"I love you." I say as certain as my heart still beats.

Kris's eyes close and he releases a breath that he apparently had been holding for a while now. It's almost as if a weight has been lifted from his shoulders.

"Fuck the rest, Tao. I love you. I want you... i just... i just needed to know that you still love me. I've been going so fucking crazy thinking that i had already lost you. I didn't fight because i didn't know if there was anything left fighting for. That you wanted me to want you to stay." Kris says. A broken man stands before me, finally showing the extent of his pain.

A small sob pulls from my lips and i rush froward in an instant, needy hands pulling me against a strong, trembling chest. Even the strongest can have weaknesses. I'm sickeningly glad to know that i'm still one of his.

"What happened to us, Kris?" i ask, my fingers clutching onto his shirt.

Kris's hands smooth down my back, his lips finding purchase on my neck "we grew up, baby."

A small whine leaves my lips before i can stop it and Kris instinctively tightens his hold on me "i thought i was losing you, Kris. I'm so sorry about everything."

His calming voice shushes me, calming me "i'm not saying it's okay, actually it's far from okay, Tao. But i'm willing to work through it. I willing to fix it, because i love you and i'm not going anywhere. I'm right here. I always was."

I shake my head and close my eyes tightly, noticing that Kris's shirt now has a large wet spot on it "I should have just been honest from the beginning, but i was so scared. I was so terrified of losing you or forcing you to finally walk away."

Kris growls lightly and pulls back so he can look at me properly. He stares into my eyes once i open them, his hard and frustrated "I'm not going anywhere, Tao. I never was. I'm here, baby."

Fully letting those words sink in, i realize just how scared i was of losing this man. The love of my life. The only true holder of my heart. I was seriously afraid that he was going to leave me.

"I guess at the root of things, i didn't feel desirable to you. I didn't feel like you wanted me anymore." I explain a little clearer, finally coming to terms with it myself.

I watch, fascinated as my boyfriend's eyes narrow and he leans in "how could i not desire you, Tao. You're fucking perfect. Your body is like a damn feast for me, and i'm insatiable."

A small gasp pulls from my throat and i bite at my lip "it didn't feel that way..."

The smirk Kris gives me, makes my stomach burn with a heat i thought it had forgotten. "Then let me prove it to you."

..

The soft, almost relived sigh that mutually pushes from our lips, perfectly explains how we both feel when Kris finally pushes inside of me. It's like coming home and finding everything is exactly how you left it and missed it extensively. Kris's eyes lock with my own, and holds my gaze.

Emotions are passed between us. Feeling communicated in nonverbal expression. Love filtered out through soft sighs and short gasps. How long has it been since I've been able to truly look Kris in the eyes? How long has it been since I've been able to lay bare before him and feel certain?

Kris smiles fondly, threading his fingers through my hair "hi."

I feel heat bloom across my cheeks, as i beam up at him "hi."

A small groan falls from my lips, when Kris pulls out. Inch by agonizing inch, before he slides back into me. A slow drag, so i can feel every detail of his cock brushing against my walls. He continues like this, clearly his plan is to make love to me. Worshiping the way our bodies meld. The way they fit so snugly together.

I love this pace. This slow grind, intimate and consuming. It threatens to pull me apart at my seams and present every inch to the man holding me open. It's perfect and for the first time in a long time, i feel our hearts sync. I feel our beings intertwine. I remember the first time we had sex like this. It was the night he first told me he loved me. He made love to me for hours, never once taking a break, just holding me open and proving to me time and time again the truth in his words. It was beautiful, and some of the best sex we've ever had.

But it's not enough. It's not what I need to feel right now. "Baby, come on. Make me feel. Make me crave."

The rough, almost animalistic rumble in Kris's chest, answers me. The snap of his hips against mine, lets me know that he understands. That he needs this as much as i do. He was holding back, and if the bruising pace he quickly falls into says anything, Kris has been holding back for a while.

My eyes close, as my head falls back, and back arches. A loud, high-pitched moan fills the room, alongside heavy, wet skin reverberating against one another. It's lewd. It's filthy. I love it so much.

"Fuck, Tao. I missed this. I missed you." Kris cursed, his breathing labored, and husky as fuck. It's so delicious i can't help the dirty moan that spills from my lips.

"I-i was always right here." I say, gasping out the words as Kris powerfully rolls his hips against my own. Slowly, sensually, before resuming his abuse. I know I'll be sore and bruised tomorrow, and i cant wait to look into the mirror and remember. Remember Kris reclaiming me as his.

"Fuck, i know. I'm sorry. I was stupid. You're still mine, and you always were." Kris says, hooking my knees over his shoulder and kissing the inside of my thigh, not breaking his pace once. I really don't know how I forgot about this man's stamina.

"Yours." I say, a sudden wave of emotions crashing into me, sending me off balance.

The hand that reaches out, grasping at mine, and lacing our fingers together, grounds me. Centers me. Lets me know that Kris will always be here to keep me standing.

"Mine." Kris growls, darker this time. A word i haven't heard fall from his lips in such a raw, barbaric way, in far too long. It feels assertive, dominating. I love it so fucking much.

He angles his hips, clearly knowing my body way too well, and immediately has my back arching, my knees shaking, and my vision going blurry. It's consumingly good. Almost too much, but Kris knows i like a little bit of over-sensitivity.

Kris pulls my legs off of his shoulders and leans in, hooking them around his back, while flushing his body against my own. The heavy, yet reassuring warmth of my boyfriend makes my chest clench. This is all i wanted. Passion aside, i just wanted to feel connected to the man i love. I just needed to feel whole again. And here with Kris's cock pressed firmly inside of me, striking my insides with undeniable accuracy, driving me absolutely mad, is where i feel the most absolute.

Suddenly there's a tightening in my lower abdomen and my eyes roll back into my head. My orgasm is ripped out of me, by a certain abusing jab right to my sweet spot, synced perfectly with the painful jolt of Kris's teeth sinking into my neck. I don't even have the time to moan, or yell. Just silently spasm, as ripples of white hot pleasure surge through my body.

Kris quickens his pace, pushing me through it, not letting up once. I feel all of it. Every sensitive nerve hyper aware of where he is and what he's doing.

"Who do you belong to?" Kris hisses, and i can tell by how breathless it is, he's close. His pace, though rough, is sloppy, chasing.

Even through the sensitivity, and muscle weakness, i squeeze around him. "You, Kris. I belong to you." I whimper, holding the man to my chest, as he comes undone, spilling inside of me.

Kris, still breathing heavy, lays his forehead down on my chest. A few minutes pass of trying to regulate vitals, and just enjoying the natural sounds of each other, being so close. He's still inside of me, but neither of us seem eager for him to pull out. Just letting the comforting feeling of being connected bond us tighter.

I was a fool. I was stupid to think that the passion had died in our relationship, when clearly it has always been here all along, just waiting to be reclaimed.

"Mm, Kris" i hum, when i shift and feel him slowly drag inside of me.

Kris shushes me and leans up to press a kiss to my lips, whispering love and sealing promises there.

"There's a lot to talk about still, Tao. I love you so much, but we still have to work through some things." Kris adds, his eyes staring adoringly into mine.

I nod and a small smile tugs at my lips "i know. I'm more than willing to fix things, Kris. As long as you keep looking at me like this, and fucking me like you just did."

Kris smirks and chuckles, suddenly thrusting his hips and pressing himself deeper inside of me. A deep moan vibrates my chest. Even while soft, Kris's length is impressive by most standards. It drives me insane in all the right ways.

I'm considering propositioning my lover for another round, when suddenly a large crash and a ridiculous amount of yelling pulls us out of our glowing bubble. We exchange a look and Kris gently pulls out of me with a regretful sigh, hurriedly scrambling off the bed and maneuvering into a pair of sweats and a random t-shirt.

I watch Kris, serious look on his face, rush out of the room. A small chuckle leaves my lips, when i realize a little to late that it was my shirt that Kris had thrown on.

When i finally push myself out of bed, and into the bathroom to clean myself, i realize that i'm smiling subconsciously. Without even realizing it, i feel really happy.

Kris and i will be alright. We're going to work everything out and move forward together, because we love each other enough to try... to fight.

Another crash sounds downstairs and i jump looking towards the door. A sigh falls from my lips, and i finish cleaning myself, throwing on Kris's shirt and my jeans from earlier. The comforting sent of my love fills my nostrils and i almost wish i could just lay back down and wrap myself in it, but judging by the shouting and loud thump downstairs, i'm certain i'm kind of needed.

Yeah, Kris and i will be fine... but everyone else? That's another story.

I rush out the room, nearly flying down the stairs. What i find at the base nearly makes my knees weak in surprise.

Jongin lays on the ground, a hand over his face, while Kyungsoo pillows the younger's head on his lap. I can tell from here that there's already reddish purpling across his cheek and around his eye, despite his terrible attempt to cover it.

Everyone else just stands there in surprise, staring wide eyed holes into the two on the ground. Chanyeol looks just as lost and in disbelief as i do, while Kris, Yixing, and Luhan just look around at the scene trying to figure out what the hell just happened. Sehun and Baekhyun are nowhere in sight. That's probably for the best. They're two people who need to stay out of this... whatever this is.

Kris finally seems to gain some coherency about him and shakes his head. I take a few steps to go stand beside Kris and breath in deeply, not even knowing where to begin in defusing this situation. "What the hell happened here?"

Wide, almost betrayed eyes meet mine. Kris's lips are parted, like the words he wants to push across them are almost too painful to manage and they hold a slight tremble. If i hadn't known this man's every feature so well, i would have missed it, but i do and my heart plummets to the floor. "Kris?"

The question that leaves his lips next, i know will always haunt me "you slept with Baekhyun?"

>>>>>>>>>>>>

Chickens!!

There's the first part from the party. I don't feel that Kris and Tao's part had to be too detailed. i mean, they've been together for years, so literally they just needed to work some shit out. The more intensive talking will happen later, but their stories aren't as dramatic as the others. Prepare for Baekyeol and Kaisoo is all i'm saying for that.

The're not much i want to say about this, other than finally. These two have been a pin in my ass since the beginning. I'm a huge person on communication, so when people won't talk to each other when they clearly need to, it frustrates the hell out of me.

ChanBaek is up next, guys. See you then!

Kisses 😘

사랑해 💕

~M~