"Something came in the mail for you." My mother came in with a knock. "A package." She placed the box upon the bed in front of me. "Thank you." I mumbled. "Jane. This is not healthy. You should at least get fresh—" "Thank you, mom." I pressed. I heard her sight as she left the room. The funeral was two months ago. I haven't left my room since. The collage was sending me tons of emails, to retake my exams. I didn't bother to answer.

I wasn't even sure if I had the power to get back to college. It held too many memories. Too many people knew him, too many people probably gossiped about the fact that my only friend and her boyfriend killed him. I wasn't going to bare it. I haven't told my parents, but I was sure they were getting emails as well. I didn't even do anything during my stay in my room. I just sat on my bed or the ground. I rarely slept, since the nightmares never seemed to stop.

I eyed the package that laid on my bed. I wondered who sent it, really. I dragged it closer. It was heavy. I dug my way into it. The box held familiar things. I took them out separately. His football jacket. His copy from Romeo and Juliet. A chain he seemed to wear, frequently and pictures. A lot of printed pictures. It was mostly pictures of us. Together. They all had the dates written on their back, in his terrible handwriting.

I tried my best to stop the hot tears from overflowing my eyes. The pictures made a sad nostalgic wave wash over me. The last picture was beautiful. It seemed to be captured when we were both not paying attention to our shooter. We both looked at each other and our eyes, it just, said it all. I was in love with him and he was in love with me, long before we even confessed our feelings.

The picture was taken one month after our first kiss. "Lovers." He scribbled the cheesy word above the date. I smiled despite my tears. I held the picture to my chest as I cried, wishing he was in its place.

I finished crying and put everything in its place. I wore the jacket enjoying what was left from his scent into it. The chain hung upon my neck as well. I placed the book beside my bed. The pictures laid scattered across my desk, except for the last one. It was beside my bed as well, resting over the book. I turned for the box. I noticed a small note that laid there.

Jane,
I thought you would like these things. They were the things he had with him all the time. The pictures were hidden in one of his drawers back home. I hope I don't regret sending you these stuff. Be well, Jane. I hope we can meet someday, if fate allows it.

                                                       Mike.
I smiled at the note that was playing in my head in his voice. I was so happy he decided to send me these stuff. I placed the note in the drawer beside my bed. I hoped I could meet Mike Lakes again, as well.

                           ~~~~~~

"Please sign your name here." A rough voiced woman ordered me. I signed where she asked me to. "Be quick, you are only allowed fifteen minutes in there." She explained. I nodded. "Alright then, Gabriella!" She called. Another woman with a huge body came to us. Her grey uniform covered her huge board shoulders. A gun was placed in her waist belt along with keys that jingled as she walked.

"Come on." She added. Her voice was sweeter than the other woman. I walked beside her. "Why are you visiting, then?" She asked. "I have to have a reason?" I asked back. "You're here for fun or something?" She raised her eyebrow, questioning. "I just need to talk. That's all." I shrugged. "Well, let's hope you're not another god damn reporter. She hates those, gives us trouble like a demon." She stopped at a metal door.

"I will be in there with you, just in case." She said. I nodded. She used the keys to open the metallic door. She pushed it aside. She nodded for me to go in. I took a deep breath as I walked inside. The room was divided by a glass wall. A chair was placed in front of the wall. I looked at the woman, she nodded towards the chair. I gulped as I made my to it. "Collins! You've got a visitor!" The woman called. The other side was the cell. It looked pretty much like the cells in the movies.

A figure moved at the very end, up from what looked like a bed. She walked up to the glass. She looked terrible. Her hair was shaggy and long. Her eyes were surrounded by purple circles. The white uniform was two sizes big for her. Her face was thinner. "Jane?" She stood in front of the glass wall. She tilted her head as she examined me. "Oh, it is you!" She squealed, her hands hitting the glass. "What are you doing here?" She asked.

It was quite weird to hear her voice after all this time. It has been eighteen months since Zack's death. Since I last saw her. She was the one who killed him. She was the one who pulled the trigger. I was losing myself, my eyes were tearing up. I took a deep breath. I promised myself I wasn't going to do this. I had to face her. To ask her, how could she. How could she ruin me so easily?

"He's dead, isn't he?" She said. "Don't you dare mention him!" I stood up with fury. "You're not over it, yet." She shook her head in disappointment. "You deserve to be fucking dead!" I yelled. "Well, I am not dead, honey." She smirked. "I didn't do anything to you! He didn't do anything to you!" I spoke with fury. "You did!" She hit the glass again. "You're so fucking obsessed with yourself! I would never! You know it! You know that I would never hurt you!" I said, my voice was shaking.

"You don't have a proof." She stated. I scoffed. "It doesn't matter! He's dead! You killed him!" I yelled. "I don't care." She whispered slowly. I breathed heavily, shaking from all the emotions. I turned to leave. I stood halfway between the door and the glass wall. A question swelled inside of me. A question I wanted to ask her, so badly. I turned to her once again.

"Did you ever really care about me?" I managed to choke out. She stared at me with her hazel eyes. I sighted. I should have excepted this. It shouldn't have mattered anyways. She killed Zack and I truly hated her for it. "I cared about you, Jane. But, you ruined it." She stated. "I ruined it?" I asked, sarcastically. "Yes, you did! How could you leak something like that?" She said. She sounded so convinced. She did belong in a mental hospital. She belonged here a long time ago.

"Goodbye, Kylie." My tongue burned as I said her name. "Keep on moaning your pathetic boyfriend's death! He's never coming back!" She yelled as I walked out of the room, more of a cage. "You're that boy's girlfriend, eh?" The woman asked as she closed the door, Kylie was still shouting. I nodded. "Sorry, kid." She said. I exhaled. She led me out. "Is she ever getting out of here?" I asked. "Oh, I doubt that. She's not getting any better." She shrugged. I felt a little relieved. I wanted Kylie to stay locked up in there.

                          ~~~~~~~

"She deserved it." I blink once to bring my eyes back to the focus mood. "That was intense." I turn to doctor Jerkins. My therapist. Her chestnut brown hair is straight and cut short to slightly touch her shoulders. Her skin is darker than mine. Wide brown eyes are looking at me. "There seems to be great progress, Jane." She states. "Really?" I ask. "Yes. You don't seem very patronized by the story. It doesn't have that much of an effect on you, anymore." She explains.

"It still hurts." I add. "The pain can never truly disappear, Jane. It can only hurt less than before." She says. "I know, I just..I hope...that one day I could live normally." I sight. "I am afraid normally is not in question any longer, Jane. You loved him too much." She explains. "I think sometimes how everything would have been different if I have never caught Zack's eyes. If he never took that class just to speak to me. Maybe he could have..could have..been alive." I choke out.

"That wouldn't have changed anything, Jane. You were meant to meet Zack. If not in that class, it would have been any other way. You can't change fate, it's only allowed to change you." I kind of hate how right she is. How her words make so much sense that my mind can't avoid it. "You're allowed to hurt as much as you want. I will always do anything I can to help you through this pain." She smiles at me, warmly.

I am relieved that I went to see a therapist after all. I needed to. After I saw Kylie, I had to talk to someone about the chaos that was inside of me. "Thank you, Carla." I smile back. "I am only doing my job." She adds with a chuckle. I chuckle along. I got back the ability to smile and chuckle a year after coming to see Carla.

"See you in a week." She says with a smile as I stand by her office's door. "See you, then." I smile back and walk out. The warm sun hits me as I walk out of the building. The streets are as busy as New York is always. I walk along the people. I am somehow better now. It has been four years. Four years since his death. I moved out of my parents's place, two years after.

I rented a small apartment close to doctor Jerkins's office. I applied to college two months ago. I am still waiting for my acceptance letter. Carla approves of my decision. She says that was the start of getting back to my life. I have a job in a small bookshop. It pays enough for my apartment and my appointments. I am not happy but I will try to get there. I promise, Zack. I will get there.