I deserved to be swallowed up by a hole in the ground and to never see daylight again.
'I constantly find myself thinking about you and caring about you'
I rolled over burying my face in my hands. It was times like this that I envied those who lost their memories when they drank... was there a name for them?
Oh God, I'd hugged her, I'd initiated the hug. What the hell had gotten into me.
The longer I dwelled on the memory the more I never wanted to leave my tent. I, David Welsh, the same man who had chastised her about getting drunk, got drunk yesterday and partook in major foolery.
Knowing Keziah she wouldn't let this go. And what of the others? I froze in my bag, had anyone seen us... me.
This was all Keziah's fault. Yes, it was. Why did she have affect me in such a way that I had no control over? and I hated not having some control.
No one had to point out the silliness of my thoughts; it was irrational to think that way.
What was I doing hiding in here? There was no use crying over spilled milk, the truth was out and, like a man,I had to own it.
I've worked with her for half a year, it was natural I felt more towards her than just a colleague.
It was certainly understandable.
I finally took my bath and proudly showed my face,  bracing myself whenever someone waved my way. They were only waving to say hi, they had nothing to say about last night. I sighed.
Then I saw her. She had her hair held up in a puff so I could watch the entire transformation of her face as it changed from a wall smile to a full laugh. Trust her to have already made a friend at the camp. I recognized it was one of the gentlemen in her group. He looked like he was getting too close to her, for my comfort.
Before I knew it I was walking up to them with a wide smile that surely didn't meet my eyes.
The confrontation was bound to happen, I was still praying she wouldn't remember... but her knowing everything that happened wouldn't be too bad either.

'Welsh.'

My steps faltered.
I guessed we were back to formalities now that the drinks were out of our system.
I hesitated with the response. On one hand I wanted to call her Keziah, only to provoke her a little and to show the man they were close she he should back off. For Kennedy's sake, obviously.

'Mills,' I finally decided on.
'Did you have a good sleep?'

Her smile slipped then she looked up to find the stranger watching our exchange.
'Yes, I did. And you?'

'Great.'

'Jun, this is David Welsh.' She quickly got that out of the way.

'I'm her partner from America.'
He eagerly took my hand and shook it.
'We are on our way for breakfast, why don't you join us?'
I would have joined regardless of an invitation.
I fell in step beside them on their way to the cantina where breakfast was being served.

Everyone was mixed up in groups so I chose to sit with Jun and Keziah at a table with new faces all of which belonged underdogs like ourselves. We all made sure to introduce ourselves when we joined.
A phone was being passed around.
'Wow, she's so pretty.'
It eventually got to me and I was introduced to the topic of the discussion. A long legged Korean beauty with dyed blonde hair and a very flawless skin.
'She's beautiful.' I commented in Korean.
'Who is she?'

'That's Gu Baek's new girlfriend.' Came an excited reply.

'Congratulations.' Jun smiled widely after his chance to see her as well.

'We are all wondering if he's lying or not.'
A cynical lady said causing a little roar over the table.

'You don't know Baek, his game is so smooth, he can talk any girl over to him.'

I studied this Gu Baek over the rim of my paper cup and saw that arrogant tilt of his lips at the praise.

'But the question is how long will this playboy keep this one.'
Someone else asked.

'I'm not a player.' Gu objected looking around the table. But even as he said it he broke into a small knowing smile.

'Wow, you're a player.' Keziah pipped up.
'I know the look.'

She got the interest of the other ladies at the table.
'You do? How?' The question carried no cynicism, only a pure desire to know.

Keziah set her fork down.
'I'm a great judge of character and a fast learner. I've dated a few of players back in my day.'
How old was she to have a 'back in my day' speech.
'I've also worked with a number of them.'
That was interesting to hear, I wondered who.

'Oh, Unni, tell us. I've been trying to avoid players all my life.'
I could tell she was basking in the attention.
'Come over to my tent for a quick lesson after the games today.'

They girls all made a small pact to meet.
'Are we also invited?' I asked sipping my coffee.

'No men allowed.' One girl said.
'It's the men who are players.'

'No.' Jun jumped in.
'Women are too. We also need to learn how to spot them as well.'

'Fine, fine . But non-players are allowed. So Jun you can come but Baek and Welsh you aren't allowed.'

I did a double take.

'Oh, no. He's a player too?' The girls were bummed about the new discovery which I also wasn't aware of.

'She's mistaken. I'm not a player.'

Keziah focused a sarcastic gaze on me.
'Who was your last girl friend?'

'I haven't dated anyone in a while.'
I confidently claimed it this way since I hadn't had anything serious with anyone since  that time when I went to the club with Zara. Who? She's not important. But every 'date' after that had just been as acquaintances or friends. It wasn't to pursue anything serious.

'What would you call a while?'

'About six months.'
Keziah shook her head.
The girls murmured as though I'd said something incriminating.

'Wasn't it four months ago that you brought the model... what's her name to dinner?'
The men smiled and patted me over the shoulder , wow model. They were idiots really.

'Marissa, wasn't a date.'
The girls made a sound.
'She was a friend.'

Keziah looked at all the girls pointedly and then back at me , silently announcing 'exhibit A' or something.
And I suddenly felt hot.
Was she trying to ask all these girls dislike me?

'Look, I haven't had a girlfriend, serious or otherwise, since I was like eighteen.'

'And he's now twenty-five. Just for context.' She added. And the girls gasped. What was I missing here?

'I just don't like to throw around the title by giving it to just anyone?

'But you've had lady friends you were romantically involved with?' Gu asked.
He was not helping me with that look of adoration on his face. I calmly spoke, I couldn't let them smell the mild distress from me. It's not like I even did anything wrong to deserve this investigation.

'I let every woman I get involve with know where I stand romantically. If they decide to pursue a relationship without strings it's at their own violation.'
Keziah didn't look like she was buying much of what I was saying but it was the truth.

'I'm still looking for the right one worthy of the title. I'll give you the title if she is the one who I know, beyond a doubt, is for me. It's girlfriend fiancé and then wife for me. And she know no one else had that title but her.'

I relaxed once the other girls stared in adoring awe at my words. I'd won them over, all but the usual one.

'Gu, are you taking notes?'

I wanted to smack the idiot that said that.

'Ladies don't trust a man who doesn't tell you where you stand after the first or third date. That's my advise to you. It's the best way to avoid players. A good percentage of them tend to be wishy washy from the start.'

I raised a brow at Keziah. Did she just defend me?

'I wish all men were like David.' One sighed.

'No you don't want them to be like me. I'm too picky, I take too long of a time to organize my feelings.'

'He's so modest.' Another replied.

'So who should they like?' Keziah asked, a bit of annoyance managed to skip into her voice. I wanted to hold back the smile at her irritation with the other females who couldn't dislike me.
I took my phone and searched the web for Thomas Kennedy and then sent the pictures around.
'This is the man you want.'

'He's such a cutie.'
Maybe they could steal him from Keziah. Ah, a man could only dream.

'Who is he?'

'Your future teacher's boyfriend. She'll tell you all about him.'

Jun sounded so disappointed' You have a boyfriend?'
I felt sorry for the man. He thought he had a chance at least he'd been friend zoned.

' Yes, she does and he's the perfect boyfriend.' I answered for Keziah. Suddenly I was starting to get angry.
I recognized the slow pressure in my chest immediately since it was becoming a familiar thing now. I realized that my anger wasn't at anyone ore anything that I could immediately think off: it was just happening.
I had to excuse myself.

'I'll meet you all at the field I have something to take care off.'
I took my phone and collected my plates and then left the table to get a grip of myself.

I didn't hear my phone go off in my hand being that I was too caught up in my head. It wasn't until I reached the tent that I looked at the caller ID of the caller who was still calling.

'Donnie, what's up?'
I tried to listen intently however the interference made it damn near impossible to listen.
'Donnie you are breaking up. Look I'm at a camp site I'll call you when we return to civilization.'

The call dropped and then I notice that the prior caller is some unknown number and it hasn't been Donnie. There was no use in calling the number back until later.
When I unlocked the phone, Thomas smiling picture greeted me. Believe me when I say I exited out of that page, my finger spazzing on the X button even after it was gone.
I really disliked perfect men like him who made the rest of us look like the villains in a romcom.

I stood stationary looking around at my surroundings just breathing the calm, fresh air.
Happy thoughts, I thought inwardly. The first damn thing that popped up in my head was the way she felt in my arms last night. Her scent, her warmth, her softness.

It randomly occurred to me why I was angry. Or rather jealous if I was completely candid. It was Thomas.
The way Keziah's face lit up with joy and something else just with a picture. All the emotion a single picture brought out from her.
And here I was struggling to even be friend zoned.
What was I thinking? I took my face into my palms.
I was losing my mind. I couldn't be entertaining such thoughts. They made me feel whiny and pathetic. Hadn't I told myself I couldn't go down that tunnel time and time again? So then why did I constantly catch my self tethering on the edge.
My answer was in the Cantina. She stood up and walked to dispose of her plate and cup. Just looking at her and my chest was acting funny again, from such a distance.
Maybe I should surrender and submit to the inevitability of my situation. Then it might be less of a mess.
I carried the distraction with me to the games when they began.
'Best two out of three.' She whispered when she joined me at my side.
Her face looked up at mine with a sassy smile dancing on her lips.
Gosh, help me, I smiled back and halfheartedly replied.
'May the best man win.'

'Or woman.' She corrected.

It was hard to keep my head in the next challenge when everything Keziah did dragged up a partial memory from last night.
The kisses on the cheek and neck and the hug.
There was no way in hell I was going to win this challenge.
Thankfully, this challenge involved the entire team. I couldn't even remember what the challenge was.

'Mr. David Welsh and Miss Keziah Mills, your ride is here.'
The retreat had come to an end and Keziah's bright smile couldn't be waved by the cloudy sky.
'I won. So what do I get?' She asked once we got into our vehicle.

'I didn't think there was a prize at stake.' I jovially replied.
'In fact I thought my not attending your little workshop about players was consolation enough.'

'No, you could have attended.'
And listen to the endless praises of Thomas, no thank you.

'Fine. Breakfast is on me, I'll pay for three days in a row.'

She contemplated the offer.
'It is nice. I'll think about it too and I'll let you know if I fully accept.'
The atmosphere in the car suddenly shifted to a somber mood.

'I'm surprised you haven't brought it up yet.'

I knew exactly what she was talking about, and I can't believe she remembered.
Maybe I should pretend.

'What up?'
The hug and innocent confession that has had a larger tow on me that I would have desired.

'Fine.'

Yes, it was fine because I wasn't ready.