'How many years can a person face for killing in self- defense?'

'It depends on the scenario.' Jared played along.

'If I were to kill someone to defend the state of my mind and mental wellness?'
My cousin arched sarcastic brow at my dark humor.
'Are we talking about Keziah or Claire.'
He must be crazy.
'Why would I want to kill Keziah?'
He nodded in clarity.
'You want her to live long enough so you could make her miserable.'

'Yes.'
No. I'd love to be capable of that level of douchery. However, at this point in my life, her misery equaled my misery and her joy equaled my misery. I just couldn't win!
I groaned and covered my eyes with my arm. I needed to block out the shame of my current state of pathetic-ness. I spent countless hours swiping through her pictures from South Korea and the new ones from our dates in Charlotte, and also stalked her and Anne's Instagram page. Look, this hit me harder than I'd expected okay?

'I don't think that qualifies.' Jared spoke.

'What?' I asked when it was apparent he wasn't going to elaborate.

'Killing in self-defense for the sake of mental wellness.'

'Well, Damn.'
Jared chuckled.
'Shut up you couldn't even trap a mouse.'
I unwillingly smiled at the memory he brought up.
'Is that what the mouse at Aunt Veronica
told you?'

'Yes as he danced across the cabinets after helping himself to her apple pie.'

We both laughed. It felt so good to just laugh. And I savored it until it faded away.

I truly had no idea what I had done in my past life to deserve Claire. I thought back to the fateful night when she showed up, relieving it again even after I had already told Jared.

Claire stood at the door, her eyes glued to our linked arms, I saw a flash of anger in her eyes which was quickly replaced with a miserable emotion.

'Keziah, I need to talk to you.'

Her face was morose she looked wet as though she had walked in the rain.

'I have nothing to say to you.' Keziah said.

'Does everyone know you two are dating?'
That sounded like a threat.

'We've already been down this road before. No one would believe it a second time unless you have evidence.' I tried to reign in the building anger her mere presence sparked. That was a bluff of course, but also hearing a rumor from someone who didn't work in the office.
I relaxed a little seeing as she didn't pick up the topic, she didn't have the evidence she required. Hopefully by that time, Keziah would have transferred.

Then Claire looked at me dead in the eye.
'Keziah, you would want to hear everything that I have to say. It is about Thomas.'

I knew nothing good was going to come out of this discussion.

'Why can't you just take a hint and leave. You've already been warned.'

'I know you told me not to see her, but my conscience needs to be clean.'

Now Keziah very curious gaze bounced from me to Claire.

'What you have to say, you can say it now.'

'Not in front of him.' Her voice shook, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.
What was this!
I stepped forward ready to throw her out of the office. 'Get out.'
She flinched and took a frightened step back.
'Let me speak my peace to her and you'll never see me again. I swear. I am moving to Minnesota next week. I am looking for a fresh start, after our recent conversation, I've decided I can't live like this.'

'Recent?' Keziah looked accusingly at me. My angry eyes were focused on the witch who had intentionally selected her choice of words to sow the discord she needed.

'Why didn't you tell me that you spoke to her.'

To say that it had nothing to do with Keziah would be a lie. So I fumbled, by Gosh, I fumbled.

'Let's talk. I want to hear what you have to say' Keziah led the way into the ladies' restroom.

there. Ten minutes later Keziah stormed out walking away from me and towards the door. I immediately went after her.

'What's wrong? Lollipop wait.'

She jerked away at my touch. Her eyes dry with anger.

'You conniving piece of dirtbag.'

I was shocked by the hatred in her voice, surely she wasn't talking about me. If Claire had told her the truth, it was Thomas she was supposed to hate, not me.

'You knew it was Claire Thomas slept with. Why didn't you tell me? Why did you threaten Claire when she tried to come clean?'

I had my reasons, and my reasons were good. MY reasons were intended to not cause her any hurt or pain. Yet here she was, in pain and now my reasons were futile.

'Like I thought, you have nothing to say.'

'Keziah, I'm sorry.' I ran to block her escape.

'Wow! I feel so much better!' She pushed against my chest.

I don't know what Claire said to her but it must have been much worse than the truth. I bet she added some stories of her own.

'You've hurt me a lot. But I saw this coming.' She breathed in. She wouldn't even look at me.
'I need some space.'

Those were break up words, I didn't want to lose her.

'Keziah, wait. Please.'
I ran nervous fingers in my hair. I wanted to drag Claire here and get to the bottom of this mess but I knew the moment I stepped out of her way, Keziah would be gone and that would be the end? What could I do in this situation. I'd never been in one like this before, one that I felt I had so much at stake.
'I don't want to lose you. Tell me what to say.'

'I can't trust you.'
I let her go. What did I say after that. What could I say when my words held no meaning to her.
I was going to get to the root of things. It was all I could do for now. Claire was a manipulative piece of scum and she was going to tell me what she said to Keziah so I could fix this.

I marched over catching her before she could slink away like the eel she resembled.

'What lies did you tell Keziah, speak up or by God...' I would not be responsible for my actions. THey better reserve a spot for me in jail tonight.

She switched her attitude around quickly becoming the comforter.

'She is so stubborn, I didn't even get to finish explaining.' she scoffed. 'She wants so much to return to Thomas that she's just blowing things out of proportion.'

Her audacity knew no bounds as she drew closer to me draping her arms over my shoulders.

'See how quickly she ran out of here? She was looking for a reason to go back to him. She doesn't trust you, she doesn't deserve you.'

The muted hum throughout my body spread the warm bout of anger from my chest to the rest of my body.
What I wanted to do was shove her aside but I chose rather to use my words. Mom raised a man not a dog.
'It is clearly obvious that our discussion wasn't effective. You might have had something in your ear. A brick maybe' I tried for her.
'But I'll rectify and read my lips or record my voice for future reference and quality assurance. Stay away from Keziah.'
That and...
'Stay away from me. I have never liked you, I will never like you. You are the last woman I would ever want to be with. So please leave me alone and go to Minnesota. There will never be anything here. If you so much as breathe in my direction- God help me. I'll file a restraining order so tight you'll have to move to a whole new continent. So, help me help you. Or just help me. Because next time I might not be this nice.'
I removed her hands and stepped away. A warm drink sounded amazing but Claire would have to be in Minnesota first for me to safely indulge.

'Am I not pretty enough? Or are black girls just your thing? Is this just a phase?'
She stomped her foot like a child in a tantrum.
'Why is it her?'

'Because it just is.' She wouldn't have the time to listen to my list of reasons so that answer should suffice.
I wanted to say, look Claire you are a beautiful woman and there's a man out there for you.
But the compliment might do more harm than good and I was not risking it waking up with her suspending outside my window. Apparently she had selective hearing.

'She'll leave you. She's not worth it. Why do you stay by her even when she's clearly abandoned you.'
Oh, she was good. And she was determined.
'One word from me and she kicked you to the curb, she doesn't trust you,'

'It's a good thing that I don't trust you then.' Keziah said from behind us.

Jared went silent for a second staring at me.

'So where does that leave you two?'

'She doesn't trust Claire. But she doesn't trust me either. So right now we're ... nowhere. I'm not sure if it's a break or... if we are done for good. And honestly, I'm done trying.'

I tried reaching out to her, but Anne claimed she needed space. Then nothing. she ignored me when we saw each other almost seemed to stare right through me, like I was made of glass.

'You are going to let her go.' Jared asked.

'I guess we just weren't meant to be.'

And funny enough, it was now people had decided to ask him questions about their relationship. Even when Claire was out of the state she still had to get her hands messy.
On the bright side, now when he said nothing was going on, it was the truth. Ha. Ha....

Jared nodded with pursed lips and kept his eyes on me.
'Okay? Have you two spoken at all since the incident.'
I shook my head. Again, that was very warily accomplished since she got promoted and transferred out of my office. Talk about perfect timing.
The universe was resonating that I give her her space. And I was bent on doing just that for however long.
Even if that meant there was a chance of her running back into Thomas's arms.
And him kissing her, touching her, loving her...
It wasn't impossible. I'd seen them talking outside the building that one time. Yes, after she asked for space. Imagine the pain...

'David?'

'Hmmmm? Yes?'

I beat the image of the two of them away, but a even uglier thought reared.
Thomas and Keziah, in Cancun.
I groaned. Could the sofa swallow me now?

'What's the matter?'

'Keziah and I had planned a trip to Cancun together. H&G graced us a free trip to Cancun. We could each bring a plus one. Since we were together then, we planned on just us going.'
Now...

'The whole thing has me stressed and I know I shouldn't be but I just am. '
I admitted.

'Well then you absolutely cannot go.'

'You're insane. I'm going.'

'What happened to giving her, space.'

'Cancun is a big place. She can stay in her corner and I'll lounge in mine.' Albeit pathetically.

Jared shook his head smiling a little to himself.
'I guess the time away in a different setting might help. Who knows you might end up forgetting all about Keziah.'
I doubted it.
But I'd try... I think.
'I can't go alone.' I thought loudly.
'I'll need a plus one.'

'I'm sorry David but I used up my vacation days.'
I frowned at him.
'I wasn't asking, Jared.'

I continued to mull over my plus one.
'I could bring my cat.'

'You have a cat now?'
I guess we had some catching up to do.
'Yes. I thought Don would have mentioned her to you seeing as you two tell each other everything.'
My stare hardened as I remembered the bone I had with this cousin and it needed picking.

'I don't tell him everything, I'm a doctor and I respect my patients' privacy.'

'Oh really? For some reason he knew I thought Keziah would look sexy even in a box.'

Jared looked down on his pad pursing his lips.
'Oh, that?'

'Yes. That.'

'That wasn't a session. You burst in here ranting about a woman named Keziah who was driving you crazy for two minutes straight and walked right out. Since you didn't sit on the couch, or say hello, I didn't count it as a session. I just assumed you'd finally lost it.'

No one repeats any of this. Understand?
Yes, I'm talking to you.

'Taking your cat along isn't such a horrible idea. But I'll suggest an actual person, a more effective distraction.'

'I think Keziah will be distraction enough.' The little fur ball is an attention lover and a little clingy as she grew.

'What happened to giving her space? You can't be watching her, that'll be creepy.'

'I'm talking about my cat,'

He set his pad aside and fixed his glasses then folded his hands on his lap.
He cleared his throat before talking, 'you named your cat, Keziah?'

'Doctor, your one o'clock appointment called, he'll be here shortly.' The receptionist graciously interrupted.

That was my cue.

'Wait, David we need to continue this.'

'Some other time. I have a lunch date with Lizzie. I almost forgot.'

Jared stood confused.

'It's not healthy to go out with someone when you are still hang up on your ex.'
I turned to look at his receptionist who was too pleased to be listening in and then back at Jared who didn't know when to shut up.

'It's a lunch date with Keziah's mother.' I replied as if that made it better from his expression, it clearly wasn't.

'Put this session on my tab.'

'We don't keep tabs.'

'Aw, thank you, cuz.'
That's not what he meant but I was family so that was a meaning I was taking from it.
I made a quick phone call when I jumped into my Audi.
'Don,'
I started when he answered the phone.
'How do you feel about Mexico?'