It happens faster than I expected, and it's hard to explain how it went so fast but it did. I had never acted before, but somehow it came naturally. Zedd set everything up meticulously and Nate manned the camera like it was meant to be, and then we waited. I don't like waiting very much, waiting makes me anxious, paranoid, it heightens my fear and I don't like that. Castiel and I sit anxiously while Nate messes around on the computer, making the video look realistic.

"You two can really go off to sleep." Zedd says after a while, "he might be here all night."

"We wouldn't sleep anyway." Castiel argues, and I agree, we really wouldn't. I would just lie there and stare at the ceiling the whole night, trying not to think of the worst.

"Okay, suit yourselves then, but I'm not carrying you to bed if you fall asleep." He smiles softly, and then focuses his attention back on Nathaniel. He works quickly, doing things I could never do all over the screens. Every now and then I see flashes of the fearful expression etched upon Castiel's face and every now and then I see myself. I look realistically scared for my life, and I feel quite proud of myself. Eventually though, I do head off to bed, since I'm too tired tow watch Nate edit the video anymore, Castiel's not far behind. I see him trail lazily behind me, grabbing a black book on the way to his quarters. I lie in my bed, twisting and turning, thinking about this child in my stomach. I recall Zedd mentioning that Michael was a doctor, but I'm not too sure whether he could tell me anything about the fetus in my stomach. I don't even know what I would name it, how do you even refer to it. Do I say him, or her? Or can I just say it, like it's some sort of animal. I can feel it growing bigger and bigger everyday as it gets harder to move around, I'm not showing anything but I know he or she is getting bigger. When will I know what it is? I want to go over to Castiel's room, and just sit there, but I'm not sure whether I'd be allowed to. Apparently there are no rules here, but I don't know, I really don't. Eventually though, I do find myself sleeplessly wandering over to Castiel's room. I see his light is still on so I slowly open the door, to see him engulfed in a sketch book, his hand moving expertly over the page, making beautiful lines, and dark shading all over.

"Hey," he looks up, putting his pencil down, "you too?"

I laugh sheepishly, "yes." He pats the space on his bed, and I tread over, sitting down softly, "what are you drawing?"

"Just messing around." He closes the sketchbook, and although I'm curious I don't pursue the topic any further.

"Are you nervous?" He asks a little bit later, fully focusing on me.

"About what?" I reply, because there are so many things that I am nervous about. The pregnancy, the video, the whole idea of usurping the Throne my father has strived so hard to keep afloat.

"Everything." He says with a bitter laugh at the end, I think Castiel's regretting a lot of things, I wish he'd tell me.

"Yeah." I say, "I don't really know how to deal with it."

"Me neither, but at least you're not alone in this." He smiles softly.

"Yeah." I say again. I'm extremely grateful for Castiel, through all of this he has been my rock, my anchor, just my everything. And although that sounds cheesy, I know he has been. Castiel is all I have left, Christophe betrayed me and my father is obsessed with power. Castiel is literally all I have left.

"How do you think it's doing in there? The baby, I mean." He says with sudden interest.

"I'm not too sure, I mean, sometimes I can almost feel it's presence and then other times it's like it's not even there." I say honestly, Castiel's sudden interest in the baby amuses me. Maybe he does care about it.

"Have you thought about names?" He asks.

"No, I'm not sure how I will name it. If it were a boy, should it be Demascus, or just a girl it would be Anaise. I want to pick my own name, but if it comes out when the Monarchy is still in play I'm afraid it's just stuck with whatever name my father picks." I almost laugh, because it's so miserable it's almost comical.

"That's sad. And it's not even born yet." Castiel says softly, now with actual care in his voice. I'm still not used to the softer side of Castiel, he rarely shows affection for anyone else. His calculating blue eyes and mess of hair piled onto his head, with his formidable height makes him a rather cold figure. I feel honored to see this side of him.

"I guess that's life for a Castle baby." I shrug, thinking about lying down. I look down at the bed, it's big enough for two people, I suppose, but then again, "it's late."

"I know." Castiel says, I get up, "wait."

"What?" I reply, looking at him.

"Stay." He says the one word with some emotion I can't identify. I like to think he needs me too, and that I'm not just clinging onto him like some leech. But I know he does, by the way I see the raw emotion pooling in his icy blue eyes, I know he needs me just as much as I need him and I like that thought. I like it a lot.

"Okay." I answer, as Castiel switches the light off, and wanders over to the bed. A soft strand of light illuminates the room from the main area, and it's just enough for Castiel to swipe a strand of blonde hair hanging over my cheek out of my face. I see my reflection in his eyes, and I can't help thinking how different I look, it might have only been two months, but I'm certainly not the same Anaise I was two months ago, and I know Castiel sees it too. I cuddle into his chest, losing myself in the all too familiar waft of vanilla. Castiel still plays around with a couple strands of my hair, and I like to think this is how it's supposed to be, this is what my life is supposed to be like. This is what it could be like, I almost consider telling Castiel to become a wanderer with me. While we are out exploring it will never have to end, whatever's in my stomach will have a life of peace and happiness, but I also know how unrealistic that life is. Nothing is right in the Quarters, and I realize now how dire the situation is, the Monarchy has to go, and soon. The more I spend thinking about these stupid things, the more people, children, innocent children are losing their lives to starvation in Abersai, and I don't think I can face that thought any longer. As much as I'd like to spend the rest of my life like this, I know how unrealistic it is to want something as normal as this. It's unrealistic to think that my life could ever be anything remotely as simple as this. I can't help wishing for a simple equation, a simple life though, even though I know I'll never be able to have it. I savor moments like these with Castiel, knowing that they'll end too soon and come too little. Moments like this are the things that will pull me through this usurping. Castiel will pull me through this time, and I will pull him through. I like that thought, the fact that we need each other, it feels good to have someone else need me. I fall asleep to Castiel's soft touch, and the sweet smell of vanilla enveloping my every curve.

I wake the next morning determined. Castiel is still asleep as I wriggle myself free from his grip, and allow myself to take in the sight real quick. His hair has gotten longer, almost cascading down his neck like an icy waterfall, white and fluffy like a cloud. His eyes are closed, and his sweet lips are parted slightly in slumber. Castiel looks completely at ease, no expression on his face, his eyebrows neutrally hanging over his face. I give him a soft kiss on the forehead, and then I'm up, looking around for any other early risers like myself. I spot Michael hanging around the makeshift kitchen downstairs, it's only a coffee machine and a microwave, he stands perched against the metal counter top with a coffee cup in his hand. Rimless classes are perched on his face, his eyes fixed on the dark liquid in his cup. He notices my presence, smiling slightly.

"Morning, Princess." He says politely. Michael has a sort of grace to him, he treads lightly with soft conversations and thoughtful smiles. It's been a while since someone has addressed me as Princess.

"Good morning, Michael." I reply, smiling softly, "you don't by any chance know where I can find a pair of scissors and possibly a shower?"

He laughs quietly, placing his cup down on the counter top, "follow me. I've got some scissors somewhere. What do you need them for?"

"I need a little bit of a change." I say simply, he doesn't press it any further. He hands me a pair of metallic scissors as I smile gratefully.

"There's a bathroom upstairs, it's just down the little hallway, it's only got a bath though. But the hot water is endless." I nod, as he directs me upwards, and then I'm heading up myself. Eloise has borrowed me some of her clothes again, I quickly gather them from my quarters, and place the scissors on top of the neatly folded black pile. The bathroom is rather small, but the hot water makes up for it, I sink down into the steamy hot bath and just lie there. For once my mind isn't filled with so many thoughts, I am calm, serene for once in my life. I look down at my stomach, noticing the tiniest of bumps on it, smiling fondly down at it. I don't know what to expect from it, but I suppose this is only the beginning. When I am done lathering myself in soap, and washed myself off, I step out and examine myself in the mirror. I am faced with calculating blue eyes, and prominent cheek bones with long locks of blonde hair hanging flat down on my face. I open the cabinet, pleased to find a comb locked in there, along with a razor and shaving cream, I suppose it's logical since I'm living with a bunch of men these days. I angle my head, and then take a long piece of hair, snipping off the majority of it. I'm tired of looking at the same face everyday, and I'm tired of the innocent façade my long blonde locks provide, I am no longer innocent, I stopped being innocent the moment Christophe pranced into my life and when I agreed to help this Alliance usurp the Throne. I continue cutting off my hair until it hangs lowly under my chin, gracing my neck like a soft scarf. Pleased with my actions, I step into the clothes, and use the comb to brush through my hair. I hang up my towel and then step outside, to face a disheveled Zedd, sleepily pouring some coffee in a cup. I almost laugh, it seems everyone around me is addicted to coffee.

"Anaise, dear God, is that you?" His eyes go squint as a soft grin spreads over his tanned face, as I look closer I spot two little dimples indented in his cheeks, and the slightest of stubble running down his jawline.

"Yes, my dearest, Zedd." I say, chuckling softly as his eyes now go wide. They're a pretty shade of golden brown, fitting perfectly in their sockets, unlike Nate's who's sometimes seem to pop out of his head.

"Castiel's going to drop to the floor when he sees you." He teases and I feel a hot blush dusting my cheeks, just then the doors go open and Castiel appears with a sleepy smile on his face.

"I'm going to do what?" He looks to Zedd, who gestures to me with his eyes. I see Castiel's powder blue eyes widening as he nears me. He smiles fondly, taking a damp piece of blonde between his fingers.

"And this?" He asks, he's so close to me now, I can't help but warm up as I look up into his eyes.

"I needed a change." I say softly, completely flustered with Castiel's closeness.

He twirls the strand around his finger, letting it fall back onto my face, I slowly brush it away as we stand in silence.

"You look entrancing." He says, and right then and there I almost feel myself collapsing into his arms.

"Not beautiful?" I almost joke, but I know the word entrancing is so much better than beautiful.

"I've always found beautiful to be a bit misleading." He replies with a grin so fond I feel the butterflies going wild in my stomach. It's odd having this feeling with Castiel, suddenly I feel bashful again when I feel his soft lips on my forehead, and Castiel is my best friend, but then again, who knows.

"Oh God, you two are a philosophical love affair." Zedd's voice goes, but it doesn't break the moment. Castiel and I are in our own bubble, completely compelled by one another. I think it's now that I realize I don't just care for Castiel, it's now that things start to make sense. I care about him, but I think I also love him. And not the love I have for my father, Castiel gives me a fluttery feeling in my stomach, and makes my cheeks light up with his touch. I definitely do not just care for him anymore, I know that know. This bond that we have is no longer just there because our lives are forced into this never-ending spiral of darkness, it's blossoming into something bigger. Something bigger than both of us, and it's starting to feel right. I'm starting to feel like it's my place lying next to Castiel at night, my place to have my lips linked with his, and his hand over my little fists, I'm starting to feel like it's right being with Castiel. And I know from now on there's no going back, there's no more pretending I love Christophe because I can feel myself starting to feel something much more for Castiel than I could ever for Christophe. It should scare me, it should frighten me and I should back away and not look into his riveting blue eyes, or his white blonde hair that hangs like a blanket of snow against his lily-white skin. I shouldn't be looking at Castiel this way, my brain says, but I've been using my brain too much lately. It's time for my heart to talk, and my heart says it's okay to fall. And I do. I fall hard, deep into his azure eyes and knowing that if I drown in them that I won't care.

CHARACTER DEVELOPEMENT YES