14

Simula nung dalawin ni Treyton si Atarah two weeks ago, madalas na itong tumatawag sa kanya upang mangumusta. Binibisita niya rin ito which made Atarah happy every now and then lalo na sa tuwing nakikita niya ang lalaki.

She doesn't want to assume things but she feels like Treyton's relationship to her has improved.

"Geez! The preggy here is smiling." Nakatawang usal ni Thea sa kanya. That girl came just by now.

In fact hindi pa ito nakakauwi ng condo niya or even in their house because Atarah, Dianne and Gia grabbed her somewhere. Girls' date if that's what you call it.

"I'm just so happy we're complete now." Atarah stated.

Halos isang buwan rin kasing nagstay si Thea sa ibang bansa. Her supposedly two weeks out of the country became one month and Atarah just missed their bondings.

This past few days when Thea was not yet here, hindi na kasi siya nadadalaw nina Gia and Dianne because of their conflict sched. Mabuti nga ngayon nagkataon na free silang lahat so they picked Thea in the airport at ngayon nga ay magkakasama sila. Having these girl friends of hers lessen her boredom.

They just wasted their time chitchatting about their personal stuffs and something to talk to that got their interests. You know, mga walang kwentang bagay na trip lang nilang pag-usapan.

"But seriously, isn't it tiring for you?" Gia asked Thea. Nakwento nga kasi nito kung anong pinagkaabalahan niya sa ibang bansa sa loob ng isang buwang wala siya.

"It is. But you know I'm enjoying what I'm doing besides it's all about traveling. Well, at least I have bonus every time I'm working." Napailing na lang ang tatlo sa naging sagot nito.

Kaya nga pala nasasabi ni Thea ang mga ito because she loves traveling. It's good on her part. That way, hindi ito mabobore.

Naging tuluy-tuloy ang kanilang kwentuhan. Katunayan ay sa labas na rin silang kumaing apat.

"How's Treyton?" Kusang nangunot ang noo ni Atarah nang marinig niya iyon sa labi ni Thea. Tinaasan pa niya ito ng kilay.

Of all people, si Treyton talaga ang itatanong niya?

"What? Jealous?" Pang-aasar pa ni Thea rito. Napairap na lang ito ng mata.

Hindi tuloy alam ni Atarah kung gusto ba talaga ng kaibigan nito si Treyton o sadyang trip niya lang itong asarin o pagselosan sa tuwing magkakasama sila. Kasi naman e. Lagi na lang si Treyton ang binabanggit niya.

E ano naman? Nagseselos ka ba? Tanong ng isip niya. Nagseselos nga ba siya? Napailing na lang ito. Imposibleng mangyari yun.

"If I were you, gagawin kong lalaki yang si Treyton. Sayang lahi e. Or let me do it inste—"

"Thea!" Asar na pigil nito sa kaibigan. Sa tabi naman nila ay sina Dianne at Gia na natatawang nakikinig lamang sa kanilang pinag-uusapan.

Hindi rin alam ni Atarah kung bakit ganito ang nagiging reaksyon niya. Naaasar lang siguro ito sa mga pinagsasabi ni Thea. Pero bakit nga naman siya maaasar diba? Kasi naman, wala naman siyang pakialam kung bakla si Treyton or what. Treyton is still Treyton for her. As long as it's him, it really doesn't matter.

"You're really crazy Thea. Ang kay Atarah ay para kay Atarah lang. Magjowa ka kaya e 'no?" Singit ni Gia.

"Paano ako magkakajowa, wala ngang nanliligaw." Ismid na saad nito. Napuno na lamang sila ng tawanan. Well, that makes sense. Paano ka nga naman magkakajowa kung walang nanliligaw diba?

"Besides, I can't just say to someone, 'Hey. Jowain mo ako.' Even if I'm crazy, that's a no no for me." Muli silang nagtawanan.

Perks of having a crazy friends. Sa isip-isip ni Atarah. But the worst part of it is, dahil nga wala siyang jowa, si Treyton naman ang trip niya lagi.

Atarah's friends were really crazy. Hindi nga nito alam kung paano niya naging kaibigan ang mga ito.

"But seriously, kumusta kayong dalawa?"

"What about us?" She asked. Bakit ba sa tuwing kasama niya ang mga ito ay lagi nilang tinatanong kung kumusta silang dalawa ni Treyton? Ano bang gusto nilang malaman tungkol sa kanila?

"Syempre kung kumusta na yung relationship niyong dalawa. Slow mo talaga Atarah." Saad ni Thea kaya sinamaan niya ito ng tingin.

"We don't have relationship." She said honestly. Well, that's the truth.

"Owwws? Wala man lang nangyari? Walang improvement? You know, even if he's a gay, lalaki pa rin yun." Biglang nagseryoso ang kaibigan nitong si Thea.

Si Atarah naman ay biglang natahimik. She can say that there's an improvement on how Treyton treats her but she knows that it was his only way para bumawi sa kanya, or let's say sa baby. But talking about their relationship itself...

"That's another part of the story Thea." Sagot na lang nito.

Iyon naman kasi ang totoo. They have no relationship. As simple as that. And if it wasn't because of the baby, it's really impossible for them know each other. Definitely, it's only because of the baby that's why they have connections.

Tahimik na nakaupo si Atarah ngayon sa gilid ng kanyang kama. Gabi na at katatapos lang nitong magdinner. Gusto niya na ring matulog dahil napagod siya sa ginawa nilang magkakaibigan kanina.

Speaking of her friends, naalala nito ang naging pag-uusap nila kanina. Good thing, Dianne easily diverted the conversation from another topic because if she didn't do that, hindi na alam ni Atarah kung anong mararamdaman niya.

Tama naman kasi siya. Wala silang relasyong dalawa but she felt her heart aching because that's the truth. Sometimes, truth really hurts.

[Magmorlog ka na Atarah. Now na.]

Saad ni Treyton sa kabilang linya. Pagkatapos nitong mag-goodnight sa kausap, the line went off. Gaya nga ng sabi niya, madalas ng tumawag si Treyton sa kanya and it's good. She's happy about it.

Minsan naiisip din ni Atarah ang mga kalokohang sinasabi ng mga kaibigan niya sa kanya. Paano nga kaya kung gawin niyang lalaki si Treyton? You know, Treyton as a straight guy? Would it be possible?

But on the other hand, ayaw niyang gawin iyon. She's a girl. That should not be her thing because there's this something she always believes when it comes to love. Do not change someone for you. Let that someone change himself for you.

For her, love has no exact definition. One thing for sure is that it's really complicated. But once you felt it, when you know it's love then it is love. No need to seek for deeper explanations because love is- Natigilan bigla si Atarah.

"Why am I thinking about love now?" Wala sa sariling natuktok nito ang kanyang sarili. "Nakakainis!" Asar na sambit nito.

Ngayon niya lang kasi narealize kung ano itong mga naiisip niya. Kabaliwan nga naman kasi ng mga kaibigan niya.

"Hija? Are you okay? I heard you shouting." Nagulat si Atarah nang makitang pumasok ang nanay nito sa kanyang kwarto. Hindi niya kasi namalayan na napalakas ang boses nito dahil sa inis niya kanina.

"I'm okay Mom. Nothing to worry about." Sagot nito sa kanyang nanay. Naupo ang mom nito sa kanyang tabi at marahan nitong hinaplos ang kanyang buhok.

"You're once my baby but now—"

"Mom, I will always be your baby." Putol nito sa dapat ay sasabihin ng kanyang Mommy.

Sa tuwing magkasama kasi ang mga ito, laging nagiging emosyonal ang daloy ng kanilang pag-uusap. Anyway, it's a mother thing you wouldn't understand.

"I know but look, you're having your own baby in few months time." Dagdag ng kanyang ina. Tama naman kasi ito. Ilang buwan na lang ay manganganak na rin siya especially now that her tummy's five months already.

Thoughts are running on her mind now. Iniisip nito kung magiging mabuting ina ba siya. Kung mapapalaki ba niya ng tama ang anak niya. Kung maibibigay ba nito ang mga pangangailangan niya and the likes.

Sure, she studied abroad so hard so she can achieve her dreams and to have the life she wanted but the baby is her life now and whatever happens, she'll do everything for her baby.

"Kumusta kayo ni Treyton?" Napabuntong-hininga ito nang marinig ang tanong na iyon. Hindi niya alam kung weird lang ba ang mga tao ngayon o hindi.

Kasi naman e, why's everyone asking about us? Pagtatanong nito sa sarili. Okay naman sila ni Treyton. Okay silang dalawa. Bakit nga ba kasi ang weird ng mga taong nasa paligid niya?

"We're good Mom." Sagot na lang nito.

"I can see how he takes good care of you. That guy is going to be a good father hija." Nakangiting saad ng nanay nito. Hindi niya tuloy maiwasang isipin kung pinapansin niya ba sila sa tuwing magkasama sila ni Treyton o ano.

"And he's going to be a good husband too. I can see it." Sa mga salitang kanyang narinig, doon na natigilan si Atarah.

Good husband? Yes, she's agreeing to what her mom said. But husband to whom? She once imagined Treyton to be her husband but is it possible that she could be Treyton's wife?

Napailing si Atarah sa mga naiisip. Sometimes her imagination is beyond its limit. Sobrang lawak na tipong ang hirap makamit. Kasi naman, she can't stop herself to think too much. I hate what my mind thinks right now.

"Ang lalim ng iniisip mo." Tila nagising si Atarah sa pagkatulala. Halos makalimutan na niyang nandirito pa pala ang mommy niya.

"How about me Mom? You think I'm going to be a good mother too just like you?" Here's her mind thinking too much again. Good thing she has her mom beside her.

After so many things that had happened since she learned that she's pregnant, Atarah's still thankful because her mom is so understandable.

"Of course. And you're going to be a good wife to Treyton too." Nabigla si Atarah sa narinig. Hindi niya inaasahang ganun ang sasabihin ng nanay niya.

Oo nga pala, hindi alam ng mga ito kung sino at ano talaga si Treyton. At hindi rin nila alam kung anong relasyon nila. Okay, let's cut the crap. Wala nga pala silang relasyon. What they knew is that Treyton was her baby's father. Iyon lang.

But being a good wife to Treyton? That's way way way way too far and impossible. Ayaw niyang mag-expect. She's enough about the things she had right now.

"Mom, there's a story I read somewhere. There's this girl with someone who is gay and..." Natigil si Atarah sa pagsasalita. Hindi niya alam kung bakit ba niya inoopen up ang ganitong topic. Hindi niya tuloy alam kung anong idudugtong niya sa dapat ay sasabihin niya.

"Continue."

"Don't mind it Mom." Saad na lang nito pero dahil makulit din ang Mom nito, hindi siya nanalo kaya sa huli ay ipinagpatuloy nito ang pagkekwento.

"Is it possible for that girl to fall in love with that gay? What if that gay doesn't love the girl, one sided love is hard right?" Pagtutuloy pa nito sa kwentong kanya raw nabasa.

"Who knows if that gay also loves that girl?" Her mom asked back.

"But that's impossible Mom." Pangongontra niya. She believes that those kind of love story only happens in books, novels, or whatsoever but in real life? It is not.

"Nothing's impossible with love Atarah. Love is powerful and you will only realize that when you're in love." Natigilan naman siya.

Ano nga bang alam niya sa love? For a person who lived her whole life abroad for her studies then came back and because of unexpected things came up, now she's pregnant, what does she know about love?

"Love knows no gender. If that girl and that gay love each other, that's what really matters." Nakangiting saad ng nanay nito. Napatango na lamang siya. After awhile, nagpaalam na rin ang mom nito. Kailangan na rin nilang matulog.

Nang tuluyang makalabas ang mom nito, napabuntong-hininga siya ng malalim. That story she shared was actually hers. Naguguluhan kasi ito. Naguguluhan siya sa kanyang sarili.

Anyway, what's come on her mind to asked those silly things? And about love? Seriously? Gusto nitong pagalitan ang kanyang sarili.

Atarah knows nothing about love since she never experience it. Then now, all she thinks is all about love. Bakit ba kasi puro love ang pumapasok sa isip nito? What does she know about love anyway?