"We must understand that sadness is an ocean, and sometimes we drown, while other days we are forced to swim."

- R.M. Drake

That's what welcomed me as a first post on Rainbow's timeline. What an odd choice of username, by the way. The quote was a caption to the photo of a wave crashing onto the shore.

I continued stalking her Facebook page in hopes of knowing more 'cause she certainly got my attention. But there's nothing to find about her true identity, except for one.

She's from Arco City. Baka nga nag-aaral pa siya dito, eh. Hindi ako maaaring magkamali. May kinunan siyang litrato kung saan kita ang city proper. Aside from that, I haven't find anything else. It's just simply a page ng isang taong mahilig sa pagbabasa at sa photograpy kung pagbabasehan ang laman ng timeline niya.

Who are you, Rainbow?

As soon as I woke up, I immediately looked for my phone. I waited for Rainbow's reply last night, but it didn't come. To my surprise, she haven't responded even this morning.

Instead of overthinking, I prepared myself for school. I took a bath and then wear something comfortable. A black T-shirt, faded jeans and white sneakers. Walang prescribed uniform ang Arco University except some courses like Nursing, Education and others. In special circumstances, we were told to be in an executive or office attire. But mostly, it's casual wear. Pero sa mga susuotin, dapat kailangang sundin ang proper attire regulations ng university.

Speaking of clothes, in my drawer and closet, everything's grouped according to colors. They were labeled so that it won't be difficult for me. Plus, to prevent odd and mismatched colors.

I went downstairs. Naabutan ko si Nay Carmen sa may dining area. Naghahain siya ng pagkain. Base sa amoy, fried chicken ang ulam na niluto niya. Whoa, heavy breakfast.

"Good morning, anak. Aga mong nagising, ah. Heto ang almusal. Kumain ka na," bungad niya sa'kin. I returned her greeting with a smile. Gusto ko sanang saluhan niya ako sa pagkain. But she always refused, telling me that she was done eating already.

Hindi naman iba si Nay Carmen sa amin. Anak ang tawag niya dahil gano'n ang turing niya sa akin... sa aming magkakapatid. Parang pangalawang ina na rin namin siya. She's in her 60s pero nandito pa rin siya't nagtatrabaho. Matagal na siyang nagsisilbi sa pamilya namin kaya napamahal na rin kami sa kanya.

"Salamat po, Nay Carmen. Mapapadami naman ang kain ko nito dahil sobrang sarap ng mga luto niyo," I said and genuinely smiled.

I spoke it with all honesty. Alam kong masarap ang luto ni Nay Carmen. Ang problema'y kapag tinitingnan ko. It looked disgusting in my eyes, but it tasted good. Imagine how awful it was to eat when you see the food in shades of gray? Sa katagalan ay sinasanay ko na ang sarili ko. I didn't mind the appearance, what mattered was the taste.

"Hay naku. Ikaw talagang bata ka. Nambola ka pa," she said, ending my train of thoughts about leaden food.

"Hindi 'yon bola, Nay. Totoo kaya 'yon." I started to eat, ninamnam kung gaano kasarap ang pagkain. I gave a thumbs-up to Nay Carmen.

She looked at me like she wanted to say something. I had an idea on what it was about. She just didn't want to speak.

"'Nay Carmen. May gusto ka pa bang sabihin?" tanong ko sa kanya after drinking water.

"Ah, 'yong tungkol kagabi. Narinig kasi kita," panimula niya.

Sabi ko na, eh. I confirmed in my thought.

"Alam mo, anak. Naiintindihan ko bakit gano'n na lamang ang pakikitungo mo sa Papa mo. Sinisisi mo siya sa nangyari. Hindi sa pini-pressure kita na makipag-ayos, pero matagal na 'yon, anak. Walang may gusto sa nangyari. Panahon na rin siguro na mag-let go ka. Masamang magtanim ng galit. Bitiwan mo na, 'nak. Masasaktan ka lang 'pag mas hinihigpitan mo ang hawak mo sa isang bagay na nakakasakit sayo. Mabigat din 'yan sa pakiramdam. Para magkaroon ka na rin ng peace of mind, kumbaga."

I smiled as a way of appreciating her words. "Thank you, Nay."

Ngumiti rin siya sa akin. Sa totoo lang, na-appreciate ko naman talaga ang effort nina Mom at Nay Carmen.

Sadyang hindi pa 'ko handa. Sa tingin ko, it's not the right time to make amends with Dad. And I wonder when would it be or if that day would really come.

"Good morning, Diggy," bati ko sa bunso namin nang mapansin kong umupo siya katabi ko.

He frowned at me. "Why do you keep on calling me Diggy? You sounded like my annoying girl classmate. You can call me Skyler or Sky or Kyle or Kyler," sabi niya. He even enumerated the list of names I should call him using his fingers.

"I just want to call you differently," I said. "But, wait did I hear it right? There's a girl that you find annoying. Baka naman siya 'yong crush mo na tinutukoy ni Mom," I added to tease him.

"Crush? No way." He cringed.

"Kumain ka na nga lang baka mamayat ka," pang-aasar ko, pinisil ko pa ang chubby niyang pisngi.

"Good morning, Ash and Piggy!" masiglang pagbati ni Ate Pinkle na bigla na lang sumulpot sa gitna ng aming kulitan. "Good morning din sa'yo, Nay," anito saka yumakap kay 'Nay Carmen. "Na-miss kita."

"Ay sus. Tama na ang paglalambing, mag-almusal ka na," sabi ni Nay Carmen.

Ate Pinkle settled herself across mine. Isa pa 'tong may issue sa pangalan. Pare-pareho lang 'ata kaming may issue sa mga pangalan namin.

She's Pinkle Roseianne. The eldest of the Samonte siblings. Fashionista, well, fashion designer siya... Happy-go-lucky and believed in the principle of YOLO.

Well, she wasn't like that before. Nagsimula lang 'yan nang maglayas siya few years ago. Maybe, she felt like being binded by chains. Nasakal siguro siya sa pagiging overprotective ni Dad, so she tried to break free.

That's why the pressure is on me. My dad expected me to follow his footsteps. And that I should prepare myself as heir to the company.

"What are you doing here?" I asked Ate Pinkle. It came out harsher than I intended. Maybe I was just confused by her sudden appearance. She ran away from home few years ago and lived with her friends.

"Grabe ka naman." She put a hand on her chest, acting hurt. "You sounded like ipinamana na sa'yo 'tong bahay. Last time I checked, I'm still a part of the family. So, I have the rights to go here whenever I want. Pero, don't you worry, wala akong pake kung ipamana sa'yo 'to ni you-know-who." She raised an eyebrow.

She didn't want to call our dad "Dad." Mas gusto pa niya ang you-know-who o kaya he-who-must-not-be-named na parang ito si Voldemort.

"I went out, strolling around, to clear my mind," she started explaining to answer my question. "You know, may konting misunderstanding lang kami nina George at Yna. Wala ako sa mood na tumuloy do'n. So, I decided na dito umuwi. Gabing-gabi na rin. It's late to find a place to stay. If you'd ask me how did I enter the house. Well, dati akong akyat-bahay," she proudly said.

Well, it's possible but I didn't know if I she really did that. It's easy to climb over the gate. Madali rin akyatin ang kwarto niya sa second floor kung may gamit na hagdan.

"So, you're a thief now," saad ni Diggy pagkatapos lunukin ang kinakain.

"Shut up, Piggy. There's a line here..." she retorted while drawing an imaginary border,"you shouldn't meddle in our conversation."

"Don't call me Piggy." Diggy glared at her.

Ate Pinkle just rollled her eyes. She liked teasing Diggy by calling him Piggy.

"I'm not a pig. Gigisingin ko talaga si Daddy and I would tell him that you're here," pagbabanta ni Diggy. I knew, it would just be an empty threat. Kung totohanin man, alam kong kanina pa nakaalis si Dad para sa trabaho.

"Gawin mo, Piggy. You're a straw kasi. Sipsip." She rolled her eyes for the second time. "So what? I would just run as fast as I could to get out of this freaking house."

"Tumigil nga kayong dalawa," saway ko sa kanila. Minsan, feeling ko ako talaga ang panganay dito. Hindi talaga sila magkasundo kapag nagsasama sa iisang lugar.

Umiiral na naman ang pagiging childish ni Ate Pinkle. Seriously, twenty-four-year-old woman like her quarelling with a eleven-year-old kid? Si Diggy naman, hindi nagpapapatalo. Well, ganyan lang siguro sila magkulitan.

I looked at my wristwatch. "Oh, shit. Male-late na ako." I was too engrossed with this reunion I didn't keep track of time.

Dali-daling kong inubos 'yong kinakain ko at uminom ng tubig. Tumakbo ako paakyat sa kwarto upang kunin ang bag. Isinuot ko na rin ang salamin ko.

"Bye, Nay Carmen! Bye, Diggy and Ate!" paalam ko pagbaba.

Tumango lang si Nay Carmen. Busy naman sa pagkain si Diggy.

"Bye! TC," Ate Pinkle said and waved her hand lazily.

Minutes after, we reached the university.

"Thank you, Kuya Natoy," sabi ko saka bumaba sa sasakyan.

If not for my condition, may kotse na rin siguro ako. I could drive myself whenever and wherever I want. 'Di sana si Diggy na lang ang hinahatid-sundo ng family driver namin.

"Hep! Hep!" pagpigil sa akin ng security guard.

Hooray? I answered only in mind. That was my low sense of humor talking.

"Nasaan ang ID mo?" he demanded in an authoritative tone.

Shit. Kaya pala parang may kulang sa leeg ko. Hindi ko pala naisuot 'yong ID ko.

Hinanap ko ito sa aking bag, pero wala, eh. Naiwan ko 'ata sa bahay. Napailing ako't napapikit. 'Pag minamalas ka nga naman.

Tumikhim ako. "Manong, baka naman pwedeng palampasin natin 'to." Napahawak ako sa batok. "Ngayon lang naman po, male-late na kasi ako," I pleaded.

He shook his head, pointing the signage. "No ID, no entry," madiin niyang basa dito.

"Sige naman, Manong," ungot ko, pero umiling pa rin siya.

I had a light bulb moment. Aish, bahala na. Surely, this would work. This was wrong but I couldn't be late for my first class. May exam pa naman.

I got my wallet out of my pocket. Kumuha ako ng isang libo. Nakita kong nagniningning ang mata ni Manong Guard.

"Manong, 'eto oh. Baka naman."

Akmang iaabot ko na sana ang pera, but a shutter sound and a woman's voice had me hastily putting it back in my pocket.

"Ang tanga. Bakit on 'yong shutter?" a woman said.

Hindi namin namalayan ni Manong Guard na may witness pala sa aming monkey business. Lumingon ako at nakita ang isang babae na todo pindot sa cellphone niya. She looked like the rude woman yesterday.

She has a petite frame. Medyo mahaba ang kanyang straight na buhok. She has a pointed nose, pouty lips, and a small face. Nah, I wasn't checking her out, just doing a quick assessment.

When she looked up to me, her almond-shaped eyes screamed guilt.

Tiningnan ko siya nang masama. "Did you just took a photo?" I asked the obvious.

Pilit siyang ngumiti sa akin. Tinago ang kanyang cellphone sa likod. "Hindi, ah," she denied, shaking her head.

Liar! Siya lang naman 'yong tao sa likod. How could she not admit when she was caught in the act?

"Why did you hide your cellphone, then? Give me that." Lumapit ako sa kanya, pilit kinukuha 'yong cellphone. But, she was taking a step away from me. Dahil sa pag-atras niya, muntikan na siyang matumba.

Nasalo ko siya bago pa lumagapak sa semento. Swerte siya, mabilis ang reflexes ko. She should better thank me for this.

Ilang minuto ring nakakulong siya sa mga braso ko. I was mesmerized by the glint in her eyes. She's so fragrant and sweet, soothing my sense of smell. Realizing how awkward the position was, she immediately pushed me.

"E-eh, a-ano naman ngayon kung pinicture-an ko kayo?" she started speaking, acting confident. "Mali kaya 'yang ginagawa niyo." Tinuro niya kaming dalawa ni Manong. "It's bribery," matapang na dugtong niya. "This is an evidence para ma-report ko kayo sa admin," sabay taas ng phone.

May sasabihin pa sana siya. But the guard interrupted her with his action. He went closer to her and got down on both knees. Mukhang nabigla ang babae sa ginawa ni Manong.

"'Wag po. Ayoko pong mawalan ng trabaho. Hindi ko naman kinuha 'yong pera," pagmamakaawa nito. He even rubbed his palms together frantically.

Napabuntung-hininga ang babae. "K, fine. I am a kind-hearted woman." Inilapat niya ang kamay sa may dibdib. "Hindi ko 'to i-re-report. Tumayo ka na po diyan, Manong."

Agad namang umaliwalas ang mukha ni Manong at tumayo. "Maraming salamat."

"You're welcome po, Manong Guard ." She smiled at him. "I'll get going na." Bago umalis, bumaling siya sa akin at iwinagaway ang kanyang ID. "Tsk. ID-ID rin kasi 'pag may time," she said, tapping my back. She walked away, waving her hand. "See you when I see you.”

"I hope not," bulong ko.

Shit. Speaking of time. Mukhang late na ako.

I looked at the security guard apologetically. "Sorry, Manong. Muntikan pa po kayong ma-report."

"Okay lang 'yon." Then he motioned me to enter. "Sige, pumasok ka na. Palalampasin ko 'to. Sa ngayon."

"Salamat po, Manong," sabi ko saka tumakbo. My eyes caught the annoying woman walk in a bouncing manner.

Tsk. She got some nerve.

"Grayson, my friend. Lagkit ng tingin, ah." Napalingon ako sa taong biglang nagsalita. "Chickboy ka na pala," dugtong ni Kael at umakbay sa akin.

He's sort of my best friend, but I never admit that out loud to him. I won't add more air to his already inflated ego. Hambog na ang gago, baka mas lumala pa. Pero sa likod ng kabulastugan at pagiging palabiro, masasabi kong mapagkakatiwalaan siyang kaibigan.

"Sino ‘yon?" pagturo ni Karl sabay nguso.

"Nobody," tipid kong sagot saka nagsimulang maglakad.

"Nobody daw? Hindi ako naniniwala," sabi ni Kael na patuloy pa rin akong sinusundan. "Tandaan mo, may Rainbow ka na. Loyalty, my friend." He tapped my shoulder.

Wow. Big words coming from him. And yeah, Kael knew about her. I was forced to spill the beans because he won't stop pestering about it the first time he snuck up on me.

I don't know kung bakit hindi ka na nag-re-reply. Kaya sorry if I did anything offensive. And I'd wait for the day that you will talk to me again. Mag-iiwan pa rin ako ng message whenever I can. Kahit sa ganitong paraan man lang, malaman mong hindi ka nag-iisa.

"Oy, LSM. Kanino galing 'yan?"

Medyo nagulat ako kay Kael. He flashed a grin, as if teasing me. Nakibasa pala siya sa message na natanggap ko. He can really be nosy, sometimes.

"You're invading my privacy, dude," komento ko.

"Sus, magkaibigan naman tayo. Dapat nga ina-update mo 'ko sa lovelife mo.' 'Lam mo na, kung sakaling ma-brokenhearted ka, tagay na lang tayo." Kael made a clucking sound and a drinking gesture.

"Gago." I smirked at him. Binalik ko ang tingin sa hawak kong cellphone. "Hindi naman 'to LSM. Just a long
... message," I said.

"Naku, take it from an expert." Kael tapped his chest. "May gusto 'yan sa 'yo. Parang nagmamakaawa na, o. Ano bang nagawa niyan? Patawarin mo na kasi." He stood up and started to walk away.

Napailing na lang ako. When I looked at my phone, I contemplated whether I would reply or not. But in the end, I decided not to. From the get-go, she promised not to take pity on me and she did just that.

"Ey, naalala niya," untag sa 'kin ni Kael. "Ba't 'di pa kasi kayo magkita? Ako ang nai-stress sa inyo, eh." Inilahad niya ang kanyang palad. "Akin na ang cellphone mo."

"No," I firmly declined. "Ano na namang setup ang gagawin mo, aber?"

"Simple lang. I-chat siya na gusto mong magkita kayo. 'Pag nangyari 'yon, may instant girlfriend ka na." Itinaas-baba ni Kael ang mga kilay.

I tsked. "Are you serious? I don't like her in the way that you think."

"Jjinjja?" Kael blurted which confused me. I didn't understand what he said. "Aigoo, chingu." He shook his head in doubt. "Sige, 'di mo na gusto," he dismissively said. "Pero siya, oo."

"So?" I don’t know where he was going with all these yapping.

"May tendency na ma-develop ka sa kaniya lalo pa't alam mong may gusto siya sa 'yo." He shrugged.

"Dami mong alam sa ganyan," sagot ko. "Ba't di ka nag-Psych, imbes na Arki?"

"Eh, ikaw ba't 'di ka nag-Fine Arts?" the bastard had the audacity to smirk.

Foul, Kael, foul.

"Gago," utal ko sa kaniya.

We share the same passion in arts. No'ng high school, lagi kaming representative ng section namin sa poster making contests. Ilang beses ko na ring nabanggit sa kanya na gusto kong i-pursue ang hilig ko sa pagpipinta.

Then achromatop-shit happened. And Kael didn't know about that. I never told him it's the main factor why I didn't take that course. I only reasoned that my father was so against it which wasn't a new information to him.

"Oh, ayan na ang building mo, future CEO," sabi niya sabay turo sa College of Accountancy and Business Administration. "See you when I see you, chingu." Kael grinned and leave.

But instead of seeing him, a memory flashed and materialized right before my eyes— how the annoying, motormouthed woman earlier turned her back from me and walked away.

This seemed to be an altered version. It happened near the sea against the backdrop of the setting sun. Huminto siya saglit at lumingon siya sa 'kin. Binigyan niya ako ng malawak na ngiting nagpaliit sa kanyang singkit na mga mata.

In that moment, everything wasn't gray. I saw it in full colors.

TO BE CONTINUED...

KETSamonte: Just to be clear, ang pag-pronounce ng Roseianne ay ro-se-yan. Maraming salamat.