Hi! Sorry for the delay. Won't be late from the next updates since exams are over!
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Moving on... 💃💃💃

"Words in double quotes" - Talking

'Words in single quotes' - Thoughts

(Words in braces) - Telephone conversations

Chapter 10 - What's happening To Me?

"Lucky, we're here to have food as well!"

Laksh looked up from his place near the table, where he was busy filling Swara's plate. "Of course Sanskar bhai. You can have some food too."

"Sanskar we so excited to come and have your hand made food that I couldn't stop him from interrupting." Ragini explained as she came into the dining hall. "We'll just leave after he fills his plate."

"Okay. By the way, Ragini, don't you want to taste the food that I made? It's really good. I'm such a great cook!" Laksh praised, fully knowing that it was made by Ragini herself. In a way, he was teasing Ragini.

"You did that without any help?" Ragini looked at him with amusement. 'Trying to tease me, eh?'

"Yep! All by myself. You could have helped me Ragini, but you didn't!" Laksh said with a fake pout.

'Liar number one. You're unbelievable Lucky! So ungrateful! Well, Lucky boy, now you're going to pay!' Ragini smirked. "Oh really now? Then I would love to know the recipe of your food. Please teach me."

'Damn!' Laksh panicked. 'She got me.' Laksh gulped. "Well, the recipe is...um..." Laksh stuttered looking at her in distress. How was he supposed to tell the recipe out loud when he didn't even know how to make it? 'If Swara comes to know of it...'

Laksh glanced at Swara, who was busy filling the rest of her plate by herself. She wasn't looking at him. At once, he held his ears and mouthed a 'sorry' at Ragini.

Ragini chuckled, but accepted his apology nonetheless. "No need to tell me now Lucky. We need to be leaving anyway. Come on Sanskar!" she excused themselves.

'Not until I expose Laksh's lie in front of Swara.' Sanskar thought in his mind, adamant on ruining the relation between Laksh and Swara. "Okay dost! Let me just grab a bit more of the food you made."

Swara stopped her motions, while Ragini and Laksh's eyes widened in horror.

Swara looked up at Laksh in suspicion. "You said you made the food for me."

"I did. I really did! I made everything for you." Laksh spoke in panic.

"Y-Yea Swara. He made everything. I didn't even have the time to help! Me and Sanskar were busy watching T. V." Ragini replied, backing up Laksh.

"Then why did Sanskar say it was made by you Ragini?" Swara asked with distrust.

"Me? No didn't say anything such. He said 'okay' to me. But then turned to Lucky and said he would take some more of the food Laksh made. You were busy eating. That's why you didn't see him turn and thought otherwise."

Laksh let out a laugh. "Ahaha...! Exactly. You misunderstood Swara." Laksh let out another laugh, hoping it would look convincing enough for Swara.

'I'm not letting this go that easily!' Sanskar smirked to himself. "But, dost. I meant th-" however, he didn't get the chance to execute his plan.

"Yes Sanskar, we understood exactly what you meant! Don't worry." Ragini spoke out, interrupting his words, hoping he would keep quiet.

"But dost, I wan-"

"You want more food? Why didn't you say so!?" Laksh exclaimed, cutting of his sentence. Laksh picked up a big piece of the paratha a stuffed it in Sanskar's mouth. "There you go Sanky!"

Ragini let out a relieved breath as Laksh managed to stop Sanskar on time. 'Thank goodness!' she let out a smile towards Laksh.

Swara watched all of this as she munched on her food. It was indeed delicious. She felt a sense of pride over the fact that Laksh had tried so hard to please her. She noticed Ragini looking at Laksh with a smile. 'Poor Ragini. Still stuck on her unrequited love for Laksh. You may try to fool others, but I know your secret. You still love him, don't you!? You still feel jealous of me!' Swara smirked to herself. 'You may be the apple of the eye for the others. But for Laksh, it will always be me. Me! Understood Ragini? It will be me!'

However, the thought didn't bring her any satisfaction as she couldn't voice her thought to Ragini. After all, she had an image to keep. She cannot let people know about her dark side. They should only know her as a good and innocent girl.

An idea struck Swara and she smirked. "Lucky?"

Laksh at once turned all of his attention to her. "Yes Swara?"

"Laksh, come here. Sit beside me."

'Ah! I think our plan worked. Congrats Lucky! Swara looks pleased with you.' Ragini thought to herself. "Come on Sanskar. Let's leave." she suggested, hoping that Laksh would be able to get closer to Swara if they leave the two alone.

'I failed! Damn!' Sanskar thought in anger. Nevertheless, he calmed himself and put on a fake grin. "Okay dost!"

Laksh felt overjoyed as he sat beside Swara. Ragini was leaving them alone as well. 'Great! Now me and Swara can chat. What shall I start the conversation with? Maybe our likes and dislikes?' However, the more Laksh tried to think of it, the more Laksh realized that he didn't have a clue about what Swara liked. 'That's okay. It's not like every lover should be aware of their beloved's likes and dislikes. I'll just talk about the times we spent together before she hated me.'

However, as he recalled those moments, he felt uneasy.

Every memory of them together was either him following her like a puppy trying to get her attention, or her asking for his help in the solving any problem of their parents, or her trying to get him to marry Ragini. Not once was there any memory of her being nice to him for just being himself, nor did she pay attention to him just for the sake of being him. Instead, there were many memories of her blaming him on many a things.

Laksh flinched unconsciously. It was kind of...depressing.

Ragini and Sanskar were almost near the door when a voice stopped them.

"Ragini, Sanskar...wait!" Swara called out to them. "Sit with us. We don't mind your company."

"It's okay Swara. We ca-"

"Come on Ragini! Don't say no. Come here sis. Dine with us." Swara encouraged. However, her intentions were the exact opposite of her sweet voice.

"But Swa-"

"Let's sit down dost!" Sanskar came back and sat down on a seat. He hoped to get an opportunity to ruin Laksh and Swara's bubbling relation.

"Yeah Ragini. Come here." Laksh agreed.

Swara chuckled in her mind. 'Oh Lucky! Always a love-sick puppy, aren't you? Doing whatever I want, agreeing to whatever I say.'

However, Laksh's reason was entirely different. The moment Swara asked him to sit beside him, he felt overjoyed. When Ragini decided to leave them alone, he felt more happy.

Only for some moments that is.

He was excited and thought about what he would talk about with Swara. Now though, he realized that there was nothing to talk about with her. Neither did he know about much about likes and dislikes, not did they have any past moments together that they spent just in each other's company for fun.

It was always a give an take.

She was helping him with his problems, he was helping her and Ragini solve the differences between Shekhar and Shramishtha. They got closer, but only because the circumstances placed them in such situations. Other than that, there was nothing that indicated any feelings of more than a friend from Swara's side.

Now that he thought about it, he couldn't figure out why he fell in love with Swara in the first place. He claims that he loves Swara dearly. 'Then why? Why can't I now think of nothing that can justify my love for her? Is it because she always does the right thing? But Ragini does the same. But I don't love her. Then why? Is it because Swara is more beautiful? But that would mean I'm only attracted to her because of her appearance. That can't be true love! Or is it because she helped me realize how much my family means to me? But Ragini helped me as well. Then I could have fallen for Ragini too. Why didn't I? It would have saved everyone from a lot of dramas.'

Laksh looked up at Ragini when he heard her giggle at something Sanskar said. 'Or is it because...because I already knew that I can't pursue Ragini. Because I don't deserve her. Was it because I could already see Swara's true mask of someone who was arrogant, not satiated appetite for attention and someone who loved the act of pretension. Was it because my sub-conscious found it easy to accept her as my counterpart as she was just as damaged as me?'

Laksh watched as Ragini smiled at Sanskar, watching his antics. He loved to see her smile. It lit up her face and made her face glow with a kind of serenity that mesmerized him. He never noticed these things before. Why didn't he notice her inner generosity and simplicity before? He felt guilty for being the one who brought her to tears. 'She doesn't deserve to shed tears. She should always be smiling like this.'

'Did I never payed any attention to her because I considered myself not deserving of such a innocent and good natured person like Ragini? Or was it because I didn't want someone so gullible and docile? Is thrill and adventure the only reason I wanted Swara?' Laksh looked down in remorse. 'Am I that shallow and fickle to love just for such momentary pleasures? No wonder my mother and father think of me as an irresponsible brat. I think I understand life, but it's only my fallacies!'

"Laksh? Laksh!" Swara called out to him.

'Do I or do not I love Swara? Or is it just a passing phase? In fact, is it a phase at all? Was I just after her because she was playing hard to get? But now that I've finally started taking a more serious and mature view of life and taking my responsibilities seriously, am I'm fianlly realizing my mistakes? Argh! What is happening to me?!'

"Laksh!?"

Swara's shout broke him out of his thoughts. "Y-Yes Swara? You needed something?"

"I've been calling you so many times! Why weren't you listening?!"

Laksh could feel his eye twitch in irritation. For the first time, he felt like Swara was overreacting about a trivial thing. Nevertheless, he let out a small forced smile. "Sorry Swara. What is it?"

Swara broke of a piece of paratha and put in in front of his mouth. "Open wide Laksh. I want to feed you with my own hands." Swara said with a smile. 'No doubt Ragini will be watching everything. This was the reason I wanted her to stay here in the first place. Be jealous and keep hurting sweet sister of mine!' Swara thought scathingly.

Laksh left his conflicting thoughts for later and concentrated on the present. He opened his mouth as she wanted and let her feed him.

As Swara wanted, Ragini was watching indeed. But instead of being sad, Ragini felt happy for Laksh. 'Finally, he's getting her love.'

Sanskar, on the other hand, was getting irritated with the increasing closeness between Swara and Laksh.

'He doesn't deserve to be happy after stealing my happiness by murdering my Kavita!' Sanskar let out a huff, bringing everyone's attention to himself.

"I want to be fed too!" he shouted, hoping to make Swara come towards him, and away from Laksh. He didn't like Swara, but at least she would be away from Laksh.

'Swara and Laksh finally seem to be getting along. I can't let Sanskar's childishness ruin it!' Ragini picked up Sanskar's plate and broke a piece of paratha, placing it in front of Sanskar's mouth. "Your dost is here, isn't she? Come on, open wide!"

Sanskar was about to protest. However, her smile stopped him. As he looked into her eyes, he could feel himself getting lost in her brown orbs. Her pink lips forming a smile made him forget his earlier anger on Laksh. Obediently, he opened his mouth and let her feed him.

Laksh watched everything with jealousy and remorse. He missed the times when she payed her whole attention to him. But he? He didn't value her and took her for granted. 'But why does it normally do much now? Wasn't it me who didn't want her love!?'

"Ah! Good boy Sanskar. Now, let's give your hungry stomach another bite to eat." saying so Ragini picked up another piece and brought it to Sanskar mouth. "And ano-"

"Stop it!"

Ragini and Sanskar both looked up shocked at Laksh's sudden outburst.

He stood there glaring at them with hate and some other emotion that Ragini couldn't determine. His chair made a creak as he stood up abruptly, ending up with it being pushed back. Swara was looking at him confused as well.

"Is something wrong Lucky?" asked Ragini.

"Yes. Yes there is. Everything is wrong!"

"What...what do you mean?"

"You! And him! That's what's wrong!" Laksh shouted at them, unable to contain his jealousy.

Ragini looked at him wide-eyed. "Lucky? What...what are you saying?"

"You're over-doing things! That's what! What the heck is wrong with you?!"

Ragini stood up at his words. "Lucky? I thought you didn't mind me and Sanskar being here. You agreed to let us stay. Then what happened now?"

"It's not that!"

"Then what Lucky? Why are you blaming my dost?" Sanskar asked with an innocent face. Sanskar himself was bewildered at Laksh's behavior. He didn't do anything to ruin things between him and Swara, and neither did anything such happen. 'Then why is he losing his cool?'

"I agree with them. They didn't do anything. Why are you angry all of a sudden?" Swara questioned. Although she was happy Laksh was shouting at Ragini, she couldn't understand why.

Laksh didn't know how to respond to that question. Should he admit that he was jealous of Ragini feeding Sanskar when he should be content with Swara beside him?

Laksh now felt guilty as he looked at Ragini's face. She didn't do anything to do offend him on purpose. He was blaming her for something that shouldn't even concern him!

Laksh gave her an apologetic look. 'I'm sorry' without a word, he left the place.

"Eh? What happened to him?" Swara spoke out loud, getting up from her seat.

Ragini had seen the look that Laksh gave her. He seemed to regret his outburst. 'Is it because he was irritated that me and Sanskar didn't leave him and Swara alone?' she turned to Swara. "Go after him Swara. I...I think he agreed to let us stay for your sake, but actually wanted to spend some quality time with you. Please go after him."

'Whatever! Does Laksh have to overreact on every situation? Such a attention seeker!' Swara thought in irritation. Nevertheless, she nodded and followed him outside.

"Sanskar, are you done?" Sanskar nodded. "Okay then, go to your room and get some sleep. I'll go put the dishes in the basin, okay?" Sanskar nodded and went away.

Ragini took the plates towards the kitchen sink. From the corner of her eyes, she noticed a rainbow in the sky through the window. She smiled to herself and went near the window pane.

Ragini closed her eyes and breathed in the sweet scent of nature. The gentle breeze caressed her cheeks. All she could feel was peace. It was true that Laksh's angry outburst had upset her. But it was nothing compared to what she had achieved that evening.

She had finally made peace.

She had finally made peace with her feelings for Laksh.

The hurt that she felt from his confession that he didn't love her had diminished ever since she accepted the reality of the fact. It was true she was hurt. She was totally broken at first when he revealed the truth.

But with time, those wounds were healing. As Laksh and she became good friends, her hurt was being healed by the developing friendship between them. With time, her wounds had become only scars of the past; and those scars, had now become faded marks on her heart. No longer did they bother her. She had become independent and strong instead of remaining the weak and emotional fool that she was. It changed her for the better.

And today, she she confirmed it. Today she confirmed that seeing Laksh find happiness won't distress her anymore.

When she had promised to help Laksh get Swara, she was unsure if she would be able to actually bear seeing them getting comfortable with each other.

However, today, she passed the test.

She didn't feel any jealousy or regret seeing them so close. In fact, she was happy that Laksh was getting Swara's undivided attention.

This didn't mean she doesn't love Laksh though.

Although she let him go, her love for him still existed in her heart. After all, he was the only one she ever loved. But it no longer hurt her when she saw him with another. She knew that she had a special place in his heart, maybe not as a lover. But nevertheless, she knew he valued her even if it was just as a best friend.

And that was enough for her.

It was something which was enough to keep her happy. Love brought complications and commitment. But now, although they were friends, she felt more closer to Laksh than ever.

And she couldn't ask for more.

Ragini opened her eyes and watched as the rainbow dimmed and disappeared. "I love rainbows. But it's okay. You can disappear. Because I realize now that loving doesn't necessarily mean that you need to possess something. Sometimes...sometimes you need to let things go and it take it's own course. Because who knows? Maybe it's for the better."

With a last parting glance, Ragini headed inside towards Sanskar's room. "Sa-"

However, Ragini's words disappeared as she saw the scene before her, making her gasp in shock and horror.

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To be continued...

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~ 🌹 Mona 🌹