I wonder if I should continue my fics or should I just unpublish all of them, considering I'm lagging so much in the updates. 🤔

Anyways, Onwards!!!

"Words in double quotes" - Talking

'Words in single quotes' - Thoughts

(Words in braces) - Telephone conversations

Previously - Laksh finally realized his mistake and cries for the way he has been taking advantage of Ragini's kindness. He decides to finally confess to Ragini that he had been using her to cure his brother and also that it is Swara that he loves. He goes to their house in the morning and takes Ragini to the beach, where he tells her the truth.

Now -

Chapter 2 - I Wish I Could Love You

"Ragini. I need to tell you something. I...I don't...I don't love you Ragini. I'm sorry Ragini but...but its the truth. I love Swara."

He did it. He finally said the truth to her. At once, Laksh felt like a great burden had been lifted off his shoulders.

However, his relief was short lived as he gazed into an unresponsive Ragini.

He watched as she stood there, simply staring at him. No words, no movement...no nothing. Neither was she crying, nor was she insulting him. She was just standing there, looking numb.

"R-Ragini? Ragini I...I'm sorry."

Still, she remained unresponsive. It was like he was looking into a lifeless body. Only evidence of life in her was that she was breathing.

It hurt him to see her in that state, knowing that he was the reason for her misery. 'I wish...I wish things were different. I wish I could help you Ragini. But all I seem to know is how to ruin things. I'm worthless!'

Laksh went near Ragini, standing in her line of sight. "Say something Ragini. Something, anything! Shout at me, hit me, accuse me, insult me! I deserve all of it. Please punish me Ragini. That is the only way I can make it up to you."

Ragini looked away from him. She stepped away from him and went to sit on one of the rocks at the sea shore. She let out a shaky breath and looked at her hands painted with mehendi. After a moment, she chuckled. She giggled to herself, which slowly turned into a full blown laughter, but without any mirth.

Laksh was taken aback by her behaviour. He went and kneeled in front of her. "Ragini? Ragini, what's wrong? Why are you acting like this?!"

"You aren't laughing Laksh? Why aren't you laughing? Can't you see what a big joke the universe has played on me? Making me believe that I'm about to get married to the one who loves me the most. And then...then the actual truth comes out that he never loved me to begin with! It's so hilarious, isn't it?!" she asked him with a smile.

Her eyes were filled with unshed tears, but she continued smiling and laughing. Laksh watched on in helplessness as she continued laughing at her miserable faith. The pain and hurt were driving her to act that way and he could do nothing but watch as she destroys herself. "Ragini! Ragini snap out of it! Ragini? Ragini!" When she didn't show any signs of stopping, he slapped her to bring her into her senses.

That made Ragini go still and her laughter died out. "Do...do it again."

Laksh looked at her dumbfounded. "W-what?"

"What you just did, do it again. Hit me once more. Hit me. Hit me again!"

Laksh looked at her in horror. "No! Never! How could you even ask me to do that?!"

"It made me forget the pain I feel in my heart for a moment. This physical pain is easier to tolerate than what I feel right now."

"Ragini I..." Laksh didn't know how to respond. After all, what could he say? What did he have left to say after reducing her to this state?

"You know Laksh, I never knew what true love meant. I never believed in it. But after meeting you, for the first time in my life, I felt like I was incomplete. I felt like you had a part of me with you. Your presence made me happy, your smile made me smile, your distress made me want to take away all your pain." Ragini rubbed away her tears that continued flowing without a pause.

Laksh felt like the worst person alive seeing her suffer. 'Oh Ragini... What have I done!? How could I have been so cruel!?'

"Laksh, you are the one who showed me what it felt like to be in love. You showed me that true love exists. It's because of you that I know what true love feels like. And now...now its also because of you that I know what heartbreak feels like."

Each word of Ragini felt like a needle to his heart. Words wouldn't be able to describe how guilty he felt. He felt disgusted at himself and moved away from Ragini. 'I'm tainted! I shouldn't even be near someone as innocent and pure like Ragini. I'm so damn disgusting!'

"Laksh, if I could show you how much you've hurt me, you wouldn't be able to look me in the eye! If you knew how much I was suffering, you may not be able to look at your own reflection! Just looking at you is killing me right now. If you wanted to kill me so bad, you should have outright done it!"

Laksh gasped and clutched his heart in pain. Her words felt like swords piercing him, hurting him.

Ragini stood up in anger. "What was my mistake? What was my fault!? What did I ever do to you for you to hurt me this much? All I ever did was love you with my whole heart. I surrendered my heart to you and this is how you repay me?!"

It physically hurt him to hear her broken voice. He wished he could turn back time. He wished he could help her. He wished he could change their fates. But life wasn't a fairytale. He needed to face the consequences of his actions on his own.

"Laksh I...I smiled because of you, I believed in love because of you!" Ragini shouted in anguish. She stumbled back and fell onto her knees on the sand. Her voice was no more than a whisper. "And now...now I'm heartbroken...all because of you."

Laksh closed his eyes, unable to look at her devastated state anymore. He knew he screwed up...screwed up big time. Because of him, the people around him were suffering. 'But none as much as Ragini.'

"Was I so pathetic to you that you didn't give a second thought to my feelings? My emotions? Was I just a disposable toy to you Laksh?"

"That's not true! You're not pathetic Ragini. You're the most amazing person I've ever met in my life! Not even in a million years could I match up to you."

Ragini let out a humorless chuckle. "I guess that is my biggest mistake. The mistake that I was born as me. I think I should become like you so that I don't get hurt and stepped on every time like a doormat, right?"

"No! Never do I want you to change Ragini. I would gladly accept a thousand deaths if it means I can be born as a pure hearted person like you. Don't lose your innocence Ragini."

"And then what?! Be miserable for life?!"

Laksh slowly came near her and rubbed away her tears. "What's wrong is not you, but me. Its me who is the foolish and wretched one that took advantage of your innocent nature. You loved me. And even though I didn't love you back, I should have at least had the courage to tell you the truth, to be honest with you. But I didn't. My selfishness overcame my reasoning. I was so desperate to keep my brother with me that I...I didn't give a damn about you. And I'm sorry for that."

Ragini could see the truth in his eyes. Although it was her that he cheated, he looked as if he was the one who was suffering the most.

"Ragini, I forgot that you are a human too. You have your own feelings, desires, dreams. But at that time I...I just didn't care! Sanskar was the only thing that mattered. Even when I was pursuing Swara behind your back, I didn't have any regrets because I...I just assumed you were obsessing over me. I failed to see the sincerity in your eyes. I failed to see the truth in your love. Sorry would never be able to make up for everything I've made you go through. But for what's it worth...I'm sorry Ragini. I'm really sorry. I'm sorry."

Ragini could only watch as Laksh cried his heart out. She felt her own tears rush down her cheeks. 'You broke my heart Laksh. Yet...yet, each piece of this broken heart still loves you dearly. Pathetic, aren't I?'

Ragini placed a hand on Laksh's shoulder. At once, Laksh grabbed her arm and pulled her into a hug, crying on her shoulder. He knew he didn't deserve to seek any form of comfort from her. But he desperately needed someone to hold him, to lend him a shoulder to cry on.

As if on instinct, Ragini hugged him back, crying out her heart. No matter how much she tried to keep it together, she was only human. She cried out loud for all the pain and suffering that she was going through.

The rain drizzled down on to the earth, mixing with their tears. Both of them, victims to circumstances, sat there crying. It looked terrible...as well as beautiful.

Laksh calmed down enough to break their hug and stared at Ragini's eyes. "I won't ask for forgiveness because I know what I did doesn't deserve to be forgiven." Ragini nodded at his statement. He already knew it would be her response. However, it didn't mean it hurt any less. "But I want to make it up to you. I want to set things right. Its completely your wish from now on if you want to help Sanskar or not. You can do what you want. All I want is for you to be happy Ragini. Tell me what to do to make you happy again."

Ragini let out a wry smile. "You can't Laksh. No one can."

"Yes I can! I may not love you. But you're someone important to me. Just tell me what I can do to make you smile once more."

Ragini looked at him intently. Slowly, she let out a smirk. "Fine then. Marry me."

Laksh looked shocked at her request. "W-What?"

Ragini shrugged in an uncaring manner. "You said you would do anything. So marry me. That will make me happy."

Laksh was having a hard time processing what Ragini was asking of him. 'Marrying her means I won't ever be able to unite with Swara. I would lose her forever!' He balled his hands into fists. 'But why should I get Swara? What did I do to deserve happiness? I am the one who ruined so many lives, especially Ragini's. It's time I repent for my mistakes.'

"Alright Ragini. I will marry you if it makes you happy."

Ragini looked shocked at his answer. "Really?"

Laksh nodded. "I...I don't know if I will be able to love you like I love Swara. But I swear Ragini. I will give you all the rights that a wife deserves. I will keep you so happy that you won't ever shed a tear."

Ragini kept on looking at him with wide eyes. Slowly, she let out a smile. "That's all I wanted to hear." She got up and dusted herself. She extended her hand for Laksh to take. "Come on Laksh. Lets go and make plans to make Swara realize her love for you."

Laksh took her hand, but looked at her in confusion. "What are you saying?"

"I was testing you Laksh. I wanted to know my place in your heart. I wanted to know if you truly valued my existence or not. The fact that you were ready to give up your own love and happiness for me, shows how much you care."

"But...but Ragini, I really want to see you happy."

"And I will be happy once I see you and Swara together as a couple. Come on." Ragini grabbed his hand and proceeded to move forward. However, Laksh jerked her hand away and held her by the shoulders. He looked pissed off.

"Why are you so bent on making yourself miserable!? Seeing me and Swara together would hurt you the most. And yet...yet, you want to see us together? Are you insane?!"

Ragini simply smiled at him. "I finally realized that happiness isn't meant for me. No matter what happens, happiness is just not something that I will get. So its best that I try to live for others. To live for the ones I care for."

"Ragini..." Laksh could only watch her with sorrowful eyes.

"You are my love and Swara is my sister. Both of your happiness means more to me than anything in the world. And I'm ready to sacrifice my love for you both. Please don't refuse my help in uniting you both. I need a reason to live. Please don't steal this reason from me."

Laksh watched her with pained eyes. "How can you be so selfless? How can you be so good? I...I wish I could love you Ragini. I wish I loved you. Any man would be lucky to have you as their wife. I wish I had fallen in love with you."

"But the heart rarely listens, does it Laksh?" Laksh nodded with a grim face. "You should probably get me home by now Laksh. I don't want Baba to worry."

"Right." They both walked towards Laksh's car in silence. Ragini was about to get in when Laksh's voice stopped her. "Ragini I...I know its not appropriate to ask this now, but will you ever...will you ever be able to forgive me?"

"Life is too short to hold onto grudges Laksh. Maybe not now, but one day...maybe one day I would be able to forgive you. But as for trust? I don't think I would ever be able to trust you again. I'm sorry."

Laksh nodded without a word. 'I lost your trust forever. It hurts me to know that you won't ever trust me again. But I guess...I guess this is something I have to live with my entire life. This is my punishment.'

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To be continued...

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~ 🌹 Mona 🌹