I stopped counting how many days Will's been gone. I can't believe I'm saying this but.. I miss him. I miss his smile, his smart remarks.. At least those he thought were smart when they were not... How passionate he was when playing guitar.. Damnit! No! I just.. I don't want the kingdoms torn apart by this. I just want his stupid ass back here so people don't freak out.

I've helped look as much as I could. I went as far as to forcefully burst into people's homes with a few trusted guards, like Reyna, and search for any sign that Will was there. I've come out with nothing and it's frustrating. His family is devastated. I know they blame me. The twisted looks his siblings give me. The harsh snapping his personal guards gave as I passed. It was not pleasant how many guards I had to give.... "Minor injuries" to for saying certain words I would not let people say to my face, or at all at that, without consequences.

I find myself much more stressed than normal. I can't seem to stay still. Constantly pacing, huffing, growling at nothing. Almost ripping my hair out when I still get no news on Will's whereabouts. The worst part is.. The guilt. The heavy guilt. I couldn't help but be reminded of several things.

~Memory~

I was no more than, what, five? Four? Maybe not even. I was running around with Bianca. The kingdom was still deathly afraid of my father and didn't dare touch either of us. Our mother was struggling to keep up. Bianca and I ran and played, laughing with large grins on our faces.

We had came to a point where it was forest. Our mother was still close behind, reminding us to stay within her sight. I ducked into a few trees to try and escape my sister when I found myself falling. Then the cool, wet arms of a river caught me and carried me without my consent. I heard Bianca's playful taunts turn to horrified screams and cries for help. Ones that I could barely give myself.

I thrashed in the waters, struggling to stay afloat and not drown. Several times I found myself shoved under the surface and I desperately kicked to try and get back up before I could accidentally breathe in any water.

There was the force of a splash and I felt arms around me. I coughed and sputtered, clinging to the body that was holding me above water. Only to realize that person was suffering my fate with me. I looked up to see the strained face of my mother.

"Mama!" I coughed, clinging to her. She turned and struggled against the current, grabbing onto a rock that was near the shore. She gave me a push and I latched onto it. Relief filled me as a guard, Bellona, who must have responded to Bianca's cries lifted me out of the cruel clutches of the river.

"Mama-" I coughed again, turning to see if my mother was being pulled to shore or not. She.. Wasn't. There was no sign of her. Bellona stared at the river, grief stricken before scooping up Bianca and racing back to the kingdom. All that could be heard was my sickening cries for my mother and the almost mocking splashing of the river that took her away.

The first death that was my fault.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now I was definitely around the age of six. The Night Kingdom wasn't the most lively place, obviously. Other than the cold and darkness, the reason no one really was around was because of sickness. Everyone was quite sickly, from birth. It was only a matter of time before I got sick.

The sickness was pretty bad and my father was struggling to get people to treat me properly. Medicine wasn't at all advance, it was nothing compared to the Day Kingdom, so a simple cold could be a death sentence.

Because of the sickness, my father forbid anyone from going into my room unless they were there for healing purposes. But that got lonely for me. Very quickly. I heard Bianca passing my door one day. I greatly missed my sister and wanted to see her.

"Bianca!" I called, my voice coming out as a harsh rasp and I coughed thanks to it. "Bianca!"

I grinned as my doors opened and my sister peeked her head in. "What is it?" "I miss you," I muttered, playing with my bed sheets. "Can you stay in here. Just for a little bit?" That "little bit" lasted a lot longer than either of us intended. As fate would have it, Bianca caught my sickness.

It was a few weeks after she caught it that it happened. We both slept in my room, sharing the bed. It wasn't that bad, not bad at all. It was must better than the weeks I spent sitting alone. I woke up, noticing the almost drastic change in me. My body no longer ached and I could breathe without coughing, for a short period of time of course.

"Bianca!" My voice was still a little raspy, but there was still strength behind it. "Bianca I think I'm getting better!"

My sister was curled next to me, her arm still thrown over my waist. I shook her, only to pull away. She felt.. Cold. I stared at her, my eyes quickly adjusting to the darkness so I could just make out her features. Her eyes were shut and lips slightly parted. She actually looked asleep. But of course, it always seemed like that. No breath slipped from between her parted lips. Her body held no heat. She was.. Gone. I was laying in bed with a corpse.

"B-Bianca..?" I shook her again. Still nothing. "Bianca? Bianca?!" I shoot up, my head spinning from the sudden movement. I was still barely recovering from that long sickness. "Bianca! Bianca wake up! Papa! Papa, Bianca won't wake up!"

I couldn't stop screaming. I knew. Even at that young age, I knew my sister was dead. That she had died in her sleep. While I had lived. Why? I would never know.

But that was the second death that no one could put the blame on other than me..

~Flashback end~

Now here's the third. If I hadn't been such an asshole and yelled at him for doing really nothing, he wouldn't have left. And he wouldn't have been taken. There's no way he's even alive anymore. It's been too long. Criminals don't hold their hostages for that long. Just like I knew when I was little, when my mother disappeared in the river. Like how I knew when I was laying in bed with my stiff and cold sister. I just... Know.