Kent courageously started courting my family. Dahil doon, mas lalo ko syang nagustuhan. Who wouldn't fall for a guy like that? Sa panahon ngayon, parang naging easy na ang karamihan. Nagiging mag-on sa text or chat. Ngitian ka lang, crush mo na. Ayain ka lang, sama ka naman agad. People nowadays don't seem to value courtship anymore.

Rare find na 'yung mga taong nagbibigay ng effort para mapatunayang sincere sila sa nararamdaman nila. Bibihira na 'yung lalaking dadalaw sa bahay at liligawan ang buong pamilya ng babae. Love nowadays is cheap, too affordable. Uso na ang free taste. No exclusivity. Open to all.

Pero hindi lahat. Marami pa rin siguro 'yung old-fashioned. Talamak lang 'yung mga masyadong nagmamadali.

Nandito na sya alas syete pa lang ng umaga. He insisted on driving me to work every day. Ayaw ni tatay pero payag na payag si nanay. Tipid nga naman sa pamasahe. Sinusundo nya rin ako kapag gabi. Ang arrangement na nangyayari, sya ang nagluluto ng dinner namin. Tapos kasama na rin sya sa hapunan. Medyo nagiging close na sila nina Kuya dahil matakaw ang dalawa tapos masarap naman syang magluto. Perfect match.

Hindi man aminin ni tatay, alam kong natutuwa sya dahil nakakakain sya ng masarap na pagkain. They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. I never thought Kent would be the one to make his way to my father's heart.

"Dinner?" Kent asked nang makasakay kami sa kotse nya. Isang araw na naman ang natapos. It feels like time flies so fast. Samantalang noong nakatira ako sa bahay nya, parang ang haba-haba ng araw.

"Hindi ka pupunta sa resto?" tanong ko sa kanya.

He shook his head. "Nope. I'm in charge of the brunch. France takes over dinner," sagot nya.

Despite his smile and vibrance, I noticed na palagi syang mukhang pagod. Parang antok na antok ang mga mata nya saka mukha syang nangangayayat.

"Ano'ng oras kang gumigising nyan?"

Nag-isip sya saglit. "Around six yata? I go to your house before seven, work after and then I tend to other things in a few hours," he enumerated.

I frowned at him. May pinagkakaabalahan pala sya na hindi ko alam? "Other things? Like what?" His lack of answer made me feel uneasy. I feel like he was hiding something. Is he bringing girls over? "Kent, sagutin mo 'yung tanong."

"Like sleeping with women who are only a phone call away," he answered casually.

I tried to calm myself pero pilit talagang umaakyat ang inis sa utak ko. I immediately unbuckled my seatbealt. Good thing hindi pa umaandar ang sasakyan. How dare he say that to my face? Akala ko ba nagbago na sya? Fuck! Open, you stupid door!

"Jazz, I'm joking."

I turned and glared at him. "Humor me."

Humugot siya ng malalim na hininga. "Look, I knew you were expecting for me to say it. It's written all over your face. You were thinking about it, aren't you? Kapag tinatanong mo ako over the phone kung ano ang ginagawa ko, may naririnig akong paghihinala."

"I wasn't—"

He shook his head. "You have trusted me with your heart yet you can't trust me with this? Kahit anong pagbabago ang gawin ko, kung wala ka namang tiwala sa 'kin, wala ring silbi." He held my hand and squeezed it. "I wasn't fooling around. Don't you think I could have stayed celibate for 30 days if I wasn't serious with you?"

Nag-iwas ako ng tingin. "Technically, it's 29 days."

Ngumiti sya at pinisil ang pisngi ko. "Only a few weeks in a relationship and you're already this clingy."

"I'm not clingy. You're just different from what I'm used to that's why I'm like this. You're nothing like Toby," depensa ko.

"Different? Bad or good?"

"Bad," pag-amin ko. "When I went out with you, the alarms in my father's head started blaring. You're the kind of guy he always tells me to stay away from. Tapos sa 'yo rin pala ako babagsak."

Matagal syang hindi nakaimik. It was like the he was letting all the words slowly sink in first before reacting.

"Then what are we still doing here? Why don't we just break up?"

I gaped at him. "Are you serious?"

"I'm joking, you slowpoke. Try to keep up," natatawa nyang sabi.

Sinimangutan ko sya. "Jokes are supposed to be funny."

"Well, it's funny to me."

I rolled my eyes. "Let's just go to dinner."

There are rare times na hinahayaan kami nina tatay na mag-dinner ng kami lang. Pero may curfew ako ng alas nwebe. Kapag wala pa ako sa bahay ng alas nwebe, tanggal na sa options ang dinner dates at si Toby na ang susundo sa 'kin sa trabaho. That is why we're both extra aware of the time.

Mahirap maghanap ng kakainan na hindi fast-food kapag gabi. Ang dami kasing tao. Usually, nasa waiting list ka pagpunta mo doon. So we ended up having dinner at their restaurant. Okay lang naman sa 'kin. I kinda missed the place.

Fifteen minutes before the curfew, pumarada na ang sasakyan nya sa tapat ng bahay namin. Nakaabang na agad si tatay sa may pintuan.

"Can I at least take you to the door?"

"Sure." I gave him a quick smile. We both got out from the car and walked to the door where my father's standing. Halfway across, Kent took my hand and intertwined it with his. He gained a menacing glare from my father.

"Good evening po," bati nya sa tatay ko.

Tumango lang si tatay at bumaling sa akin. "Pasok na," sabi nito.

"Good night," I said to Kent. I kissed his cheek dahil alam kong maghuhuramentado si tatay kapag higit pa dun ang ginawa ko. But he gave a loud grunt of disapproval.

"Good night. Good night po."

Tumango ulit si tatay bilang response.

It was around one in the morning when I got a call from him again. Bukas talaga, isa-silent ko na ang phone ko. Oh... right. I can't do that. He'll just call hanggang maubos ang battery ng phone ko o makatulog sya, kung alin man ang mauna sa dalawa.

"What?" ungot ko.

"I can't sleep again."

"Kent, you have to stop doing this."

"But I'm not sleepy. Can I come over?"

"What? No!" I hissed. "Pilitin mong matulog."

"Can I talk to you for a few minutes?"

"May pasok ako mamaya," sagot ko sa kanya.

He sighed. "Fine. Good night."

"Thanks!" I ended the call and continued where I left off.

Paggising ko, para na naman akong bangag. Mahirap kapag nagigising ka ng madaling araw. Ang hirap bumalik sa tulog! I counted sheeps and stared at the ceiling for an hour bago ako tuluyang nakatulog.

Pagpunta ko sa kusina, nandun na si Kent, nagluluto. Ang pamilya ko naman, pasyahan ng pagkain.

"Good morning!" nakangiti nyang bati sa 'kin.

Tiningnan ko sya ng masama bago ako pumunta ng banyo para maghilamos. Sanay na naman sya sa gantong hitsura ko. Isang buwan ba namang magkasama kami sa bahay. But that was then and this is now. Back then, there were no feelings involved. Now, I suddenly felt so conscious.

I brushed my hair with my fingers. Nang mukha na akong tao ulit, bumalik na ako sa kusina. I sat down on an empty chair habang sya naman ay hinainan ako ng kape. Tapos ay naupo sya sa tabi ko at nagsimula na ring kumain.

"Kanina ka pa?" tanong ko sa kanya.

Tumango sya. "Wala pa akong tulog."

"Halata," I commented. "Sana natulog ka na lang."

"I'll sleep later," he replied.

Hindi na ako umimik pa. Mukhang lumalala ang insomia nya. Since I moved out, madalas na syang hindi makatulog. Ganoon ba kalala ang pagka-miss nya sa 'kin? I wanted to go back there and sleep in my bed again. Namimiss ko na 'yung bahay. Nakakamiss pala 'yung times na wala kaming ginawa kundi kumain at magbangayan. Dito kasi sa bahay, feeling ko restrained ang mga kilos ko.

Sana man lang pagbigyan sya ni tatay. He's making a real effort here. Ang dami na nyang nagagastos, sa gas pa lang ng sasakyan nya para makapagpabalik-balik siya rito. He's even drinking coffee kahit hindi naman sya nagkakape sa umaga.

"I'll pick you up at six?" he asked after dropping me off to work.

"Okay. Text kita."

Inantay ko na namang lumipas ang isang araw. Kent doesn't bother me at work. Ni isang text, wala. Busy rin kasi sya sa restaurant. Okay na rin siguro 'yung ganun. At least nakakapagtrabaho ako ng maayos. Hindi kasi sya clingy at ayaw nya rin ng maya't maya e ginugulo ka sa trabaho. When he's in the kitchen, he's inside his own world. Bawal ang magulo, kahit girlfriend.

Five minutes before 6pm, I sent him a text message telling me to pick me up already. Nag-retouch ako ng kaunti sa CR tapos ay pumunta na ako sa office lobby. Sa daan, may nakasalubong akong dalawang babaeng kilig na kilig. May gwapo raw sa lobby.

Geez. Can't they tone it down?

He was sitting there, alright. Agad syang tumayo nang makita akong paparating.

"Kanina ka pa?" tanong ko sa kanya.

He shrugged. "Nandito na 'ko when I got your message. Let's go?"

"Wait lang. Magla-logout lang ako."

"No need. I logged you out already."

"You can't do that!"

He smiled at me. "Relax. The guard said its okay."

"Huwag mo nang gagawin ulit 'yun ha."

"Ang tagal mo kasi."

"Five minutes late lang ako."

Nagkibit-balikat sya ulit at binuksan ang pinto para sa 'kin.

Nasa elevator na kami nang sabihin nyang hindi kami sa bahay kakain.

"Aantayin nila ako. And they were expecting you to cook for us this evening."

"I already cooked for them bago kita sinundo."

The elevator door opened and we went out on the basement where his car was parked. Yes, he even got his car its own parking space. Naglakad kami patungo sa kotse nya.

"Let's have dinner at my place tonight."

"At your place?" Tumaas ang kilay ko. I smelled something fishy.

"It's just dinner," he grunted.

"Okay." Since todo effort sya ngayong araw, sige pagbigyan.

He cooked pasta for the both of us and we both ate with so much gusto 'cause we're both so hungry. Hindi ako nag-merienda and he was so hyped up the whole day na halos na-drain na ang energy nya sa kawalan ng tulog.

Mag-aalas otso ng gabi nang tulugan nya ako. Pagkatapos kasi naming kumain, nanuod kami ng TV. He was sitting behind me on the couch, ang dalawang kamay ay nakayakap sa 'kin. He really must be so tired because he didn't do anything preposterous.

Maya-maya'y nalaman kong tulog na tulog na pala sya. Ever so carefully, I freed myself from his arms and tiptoed my way into his room to get him a blanket. Saka ako lumabas ng bahay niya at umuwi.

Nang nasa bahay na ako, nag-send ako ng message sa kanya. 'Went home. Sleep tight. Thanks for dinner!' It's not much but knowing him, he'd prefer it over something mushy and sappy.

Kinabukasan, himalang walang gumising sa 'kin ng madaling-araw. He must be so tired.

Nasa work na ako nang tawagan nya ako. He was being apologetic for not being able to drive me to work. Natuwa ako sa pagso-sorry nya. Parang dati lang, kahit kasalanan nya, he won't even be apologetic about it pero ngayon, kahit hindi naman nya kasalanan, nagso-sorry sya. He was indeed changing.

"Okay lang, Kent."

"Babawi ako next time," he promised.

"Okay."

"Anong oras kita susunduin?"

"Hindi na. Take some rest."

"I've had enough rest yesterday," he insisted. "So what time?"

"Six."

"Okay. Bye."

"Bye."

The day went on as usual. The job gets kinda droning sometimes. The only thing I look forward to is the night, when I get to see him again. Medyo naging lenient si tatay sa aming dalawa. Kent can now come and go at my house, basta magsasabi muna at ipagpapaalam ko muna.

Medyo close na rin sila nina kuya. I heard them talking one time. Usapan tungkol sa mga babae. Kent admitted that he's been with a lot of girls before me and my brothers asked him for tips. Pareho pa kasi silang single.

But having said that, they also warned him to take good care of me. They said that for whatever amount of hurt he would inflict on me, they will double it. Nang makauwi si Kent, yumakap ako sa dalawa kong kuya. They found it creepy dahil hindi naman ako sweet sa kanila. Hindi rin kasi nila alam na narinig ko 'yung sinabi nila kay Kent.

Lumaki akong inaalaska ng mga kuya ko kaya hindi na masyadong bago sa 'kin 'yung pang-aalaska ni Kent. They were my biggest bullies. Pero kahit na ganun, sila pa rin 'yung numero unong magtatanggol kapag may umaway sa 'kin.

Sana lang makahanap na rin sila ng babaeng papakasalan nila 'cause if everything between Kent and I went well, chances are mauuna pa akong ikasal sa kanila.

Bandang alas onse ng gabi nang makatanggap ako ng tawag mula kay Gale. Medyo nawindang ako sa sinabi nya sa 'kin. Sa sobrang pagkawindang ko, hindi ako nakatulog hanggang bago mag-alas tres ng madaling-araw.

"Jazz, birthday ni Kuya bukas. Do you have plans for him?"

Nakakatawa na ni birthday niya ay hindi ko alam. He might have mentioned that before o baka hindi. Hindi ko matandaan. All I know is that he's turning 29 already.

Shit. Ano'ng gagawin ko para sa birthday nya?