We all got that scar that holds a lot of memories. We all have that past we want to say goodbye to. And when it comes knocking again, minsan nagdadalawang-isip tayo kung babalewalain ba natin ito o papasuking muli sa buhay natin, bibigyan ng isa pang chance... baka naman kasi, wrong timing lang.

Maybe this time, it's a different story.

After Kiele, came Mira. Ito yung kung tutuusin lang e panandalian pero tumatak kay Kent. She took a chunk of his heart. And it seems like she wants more of it.

I recognized her number immediately. Nag-text ito kay Kent.

Hey, it's me. Can I talk to you?

Kahit walang pangalan, alam kong si Mira 'yon. She even called him several times.

Bago pa man ako magtanong ay inunahan na ako ni Kent. Alam nyang maiinis ako dahil kinu-contact pa rin sya ni Mira. And who knows, they might be seeing each other behind my back. Paranoid pa naman ako pagdating sa mga ganung bagay. Kaya habang maaga, nililinaw ko na. Kesa mag-assume ako tapos hindi pala. E di nag-away lang kami.

"She's been sending me messages and yes, she's also been calling me. But I swear, I didn't return any. Kahit i-check mo pa yung sent items saka call logs."

I did just that. Like he said, wala nga.

"Ano na naman ang kailangan nya sa 'yo?" iritado kong tanong.

Nagkibit-balikat lang sya.

"Gamitin mo muna yung SIM ko," sabi ko sa kanya.

"Jazz... there's no need for that."

Pero dahil matigas ang ulo ko, sinimulan ko nang baklasin yung likuran ng phone nya para sa SIM card. Nakipag-agawan naman sya sa 'kin. Ang ending, bumagsak sa sahig yung phone. Oops.

He sighed.

"Sorry."

"Sorry you broke my phone or sorry that you couldn't trust me?" May tampo na naman sa boses nya. Bakit ba kasi pagdating kay Mira, nagiging sobrang paranoid ako? Sa totoo lang, wala naman akong pakialam kung may lumandi man sa kanyang ibang babae e. Napatunayan nya na naman sa 'kin na hindi sya papatol.

But Mira's a different case. They had something beautiful before. Isang kwentong nakakapanghinayang dahil hindi nagtapos ng maganda.

"Kent, iba 'to. Si Mira 'to e."

"You still don't get it, do you? Since I met you, none of them mattered anymore. Kahit si Mira pa yan, si Kiele o kung sino pa man from my past, iisa na lang sila para sa 'kin ngayon. Over. 'Cause you're here. You're the only one here. Can't you trust that, Jazz?"

That rendered me speechless. I blinked twice. "What?"

Ngumiti sya sa 'kin saka ginulo ang buhok ko. Then he bent down to pick the pieces of his phone off of the floor. "Hay... ang bago-bago nito, sira agad. Tsk tsk."

"Sorry. Papaltan ko na lang."

"There's no need. I have another phone."

He took the SIM card and headed to his bedroom. Nang makalabas sya ulit, hawak-hawak nya na yung isa nyang phone.

I looked at him apologetically. My paranoia struck again. This has to stop. This really has to stop. I can't let his past keep on haunting me. If he's already let it go, dapat ako rin.

"Look, Kent, I'm sorry if I freaked out again. It's just hard to get passed this."

"It's okay. I'm kinda used to you freaking out. It actually feels nice to have someone get scared of losing you."

He gave me a hug and a peck on the cheek. I pinched his nose and kissed him on the lips. We're supposed to be enjoying each other's company today. After that three-day escapade on the beach, hindi na ulit kami nakagalang masyado. Now, after three weeks, pareho kaming nakahanap ng time na hindi hectic ang sked naming dalawa. But we won't be going out just for fun.

Later this evening, I'd have to meet his family again, for dinner. Wala namang okasyon. They just want to get together. They do this randomly. Isa sa mga tradisyon ng pamilya nila. May mag-aayang mag-get together out of the blue and if the majority's up for it, then they'd go for it.

This time, it's his parents' idea.

We strolled the mall this morning and by afternoon, pumunta kami sa salon kung saan suki si Kent. Remember that gay parlorista who refers to him as 'dear'? Yeah, we went back there. Only this time, it's for me.

"Hello, dear!" Nagulat ako nang makipagbeso-beso ito sa 'kin.

"H-Hi..."

"Sabi ni dear pupunta ka raw. So ano ang gagawin natin sa hair mo today? Gusto mong pakulayan? Kulot? Rebond? Cellophane?" sunod-sunod nitong tanong.

"Gupit lang," tipid kong sagot.

"Hey, I just have to buy something for later. Can I leave you here? Babalik ako after an hour or two," paalam ni Kent.

"Sure."

He fished his phone from his pocket. "And just so you'd feel assured, here's my phone."

"Kent, you don't have to—"

He simply smiled and kissed me before walking out of the salon. Huh. Weird. Lalo tuloy akong nakunsensya na pinaghinalaan ko sya.

When Marvin, the parlorista, put this cloth around me, I saw him wink through the huge mirror in front of us.

"Alam mo, dear, akala ko talaga hindi ko na makikita 'yang si Kent na ganyan kasaya."

"Talaga?"

Tumango-tango ito. "Oo. 'Pag nagkikwento sya tungkol sa latest nya, parang alam mo 'yun, he's just making kwento para i-brag na naka-date nya na si ganito or si ganyan. E syempre, bilang dakilang parlorista, sinasakyan ko na lang ang mga kwento nya. Pero never pa nyang inulit ikwento ang isang girl na he's currently dating. Minsan nga hindi nya pa alam ang name e. Pero ikaw, nagawa nya pang dalhin dito. Gulat ako nun 'te, akala ko nanuno na sya."

"So naaalala mo pa pala ako from our first meeting?"

"Oo naman! Pa'no ba naman kita malilimutan e bukambibig ka nya?"

Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili kong ngumiti. Nagsimula na naman itong magtimpla ng kulay. Hala...

"Gupit lang sa 'kin—"

"Sabi kasi nya kulayan ko raw ang buhok mo. 'Wag kang mag-alala, gupit lang ang sisingilin ko sa 'yo. Sa kanya 'yung iba, pati mani at pedi."

"Ha?"

May mani-pedi pa? Aba, totoo nga! Nag-assemble sila ng gamit agad-agad. At lahat sila e tsinismis ako. Nakakaloka. Parang biglang nag-zero ang atensyon nilang lahat sa 'kin. Pati yung ibang costumers, nakikinig na sa kwento ko. Ang daldal nila, lalo na yung nag-aayos sa 'kin. Mukhang buong talambuhay ni Kent ang alam. Turns out na makwento rin kasi itong si Kent sa kanila.

"Ibang-iba na talaga sya ngayon. Super laki ng improvement."

"Oo nga e. Imagine, from being the boyfriend of the town to a one-woman man..." pag-sang-ayon ko.

"Hindi lang yun. Kahit dating-dati pa. Alam mo, dear, nung sila pa ni Kiele, wala kang maiireklamo sa kanya."

"Huh? Pa'no naging improvement yung ngayon kung ganun?" kunot-noo kong tanong.

"Sobrang bait nya kasi. Lahat na lang, yes. Yes, dear. Yes, mahal. Wala ka ngang maireklamo kasi isang hila mo lang sa tali nya, sunod sya agad. E di ba sa relationships... uh—bakla, ano na nga yung quotation?" Tumingin ito sa kasamang naghuhugas ng buhok ng isang customer.

Tumigil ito sa ginagawa at nag-isip saglit.

"The best kind of relationship is where you can feel like you're free chuchu yata?"

"Hm... sige keri na." Humarap ito ulit sa 'kin. "Ayun, yung sinabi nya. Ganun."

"Di ko nagets."

Kumunot ang ni Marvin. "Ay 'te! Hindi ka rin makaintindi ng English?"

"Hindi, I mean hindi ko makita yung relevance nung quote."

"Ganito kasi. Nung sila pa ni Kiele, parang hindi nya kontrolado ang sarili nyang buhay. Then nung naghiwalay sila, parang tuluyan na syang nawalan ng kontrol sa buhay nya. Tapos bigla-biglang naayos. Ikaw lang pala ang makapagtutuwid sa baluktot nyang paniniwala sa buhay.

"Parang sya na yung may kontrol dito. Nasasabi nya na yung gusto nyang sabihin. Nagagawa nya na yung gusto nyang gawin. Saka ginagawa nya yun willingly. Marunong na syang magkusang-loob, hindi tulad ng dati na sunod lang sya ng sunod."

"Sige, konting bola na lang, lalakihan ko na ang tip mo," biro ko sa kanya.

"Ay sige! Mag-iisip pa ako ng pambobola," natatawa nitong sabi. "Oy pero seryoso 'yun a. Mahal na mahal ka talaga nun."

Sana nandito si Kent ngayon. Gusto ko syang yakapin ng sobrang higpit. Okay, so now I can't really let him go. Great catch, Jazz. Gusto kong i-pat ang sarili kong balikat.

I was about to call him when I realized na iniwan nya nga pala ang phone nya... na nagriring naman ngayon.

"Excuse lang sandali ha." I stood up and went outside the salon. Saka ko sinagot ang tawag. It was from Mira again. Tingin ko hindi nya titigilan si Kent so ako na ang magpapatigil sa ginagawa nya. Hindi na sila pwedeng magkabalikan 'no. Over my dead body!

"Hello, Mira."

"J-Jazz?"

"Yes, it's me. Ano'ng kailangan mo kay Kent?" I tried to hide the edge on my voice. Whatever it is she wants from him, I'd have to deal with it now. His past is catching up to me. I think now's the time to tell it to stop chasing him.

"Wala akong kailangan kay Kent, Jazz. It's you I want to talk to."