"Here's your order." Iniabot ng delivery guy ang isang plastic ng pagkain. "That'll be $12."

"Here you go." I gave him the money. "Thanks."

Fried rice and diet coke. Namiss ko tuloy bigla ang Chow King. Kahit hindi ako fan ng fast-food chain na yun, I'd give up a few dollars just to eat there again. Saka sa Jollibee. Wait, ang alam ko merong branches abroad ang Jollibee. Meron kaya sa New York?

I searched Google for the answer. Ayun, meron nga. Woodside, New York? Ayun lang. Paano pumuntang Woodside, New York from Manhattan? Hindi pa naman ako mahilig gumala kapag hindi ko alam ang pupuntahan ko. Syempre, gastos na naman. Kaya hanggang walking distance lang ang gala ko. Para at least, hindi na ako mamamasahe. I could run back to my apartment in case I get hungry.

Pero Jollibee... Hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang beses ko ng iniwasang kumain sa Jollibee or Mcdo or Greenwich and the likes. Since I met Kent, I became exposed to fancier and healthier foods. Minsan, kahit yung mga pagkaing okay dati sa panlasa ko, kinatatamaran ko ng kainin.

Tulad na lang ng fried chicken from Mcdo. Dati, kapag nagmamadali ako, yun lang ang kinakain ko. Pero walang-wala yung lasa nito sa fried chicken ni Kent. And now he said he's off to some 'seminar' but God knows what he's really doing right now.

Maybe he's with someone else at this very moment. He's used to picking up girls anyway. Maybe he's not really going somewhere. He'd just stay at the hotel with some chick.

Stop it, Jazz!

Why can't I just trust him? Grunting, I stopped eating the takeout and went online again. There's only one person who knows him so much to tell if he's to be trusted or not—Gale.

It's a good thing she's always online, dahil kapag hindi sila magkausap ni Rico, magkachat naman sila. Ang clingy nila pareho e, sa isa't isa.

Gale Eusebio:

--Yes, sister-in-law to be?

--:D

Jasmine Leigh Damian:

--Gising ka pa?

Gale Eusebio:

--Yeah. Si Rico kasi, ayaw na namang magpatulog.

Grabe, palagi na lang silang inuumaga pagcha-chat. Hindi sila nauubusan ng topic?

Gale Eusebio:

--Jazz

--Pasalubong ha.

--Gusto ko ng Chanel earrings.

Jasmine Leigh Damian:

--lol

--wala akong pera

Gale Eusebio:

--:(

Jasmine Leigh Damian:

--Gale

--Nasan ang kuya mo?

Gale Eusebio:

--Ha? What do u mean?

Jasmine Leigh Damian:

--Sabi nya sakin nasa seminar sya

--E alas dos kaya ng umaga dyan.

--anong klaseng seminar yun?

Gale Eusebio is typing...

(Seen)

Gale Eusebio is typing...

Gale Eusebio:

--Why dont u ask him?

Jasmine Leigh Damian:

--Feelingko naman hindi nya rin sasabihin

--Kaya nga tinatanong kita e

Gale Eusebio:

--Negotiator ba ko? Ask him.

Jasmine Leigh Damian:

--He wont tell

Gale Eusebio:

--Dont worry. Kuya's not doing anything creepy.

--In fact, he's really engrossed in cooking.

I'm still not satisfied. Maybe there's someone else who can confirm.

Jasmine Leigh Damian:

--Gale, may Facebook ba si France?

Gale Eusebio:

--Uhm... meron.

--Search mo Pablo Francisco De Luna

--Yung soufflé na may smiley ang DP.

Jasmine Leigh Damian:

--Thanks

Gale Eusebio:

--Ur welcome.

--Can I ask you a favor tho?

Jasmine Leigh Damian:

--Sure.

Gale Eusebio:

--Give kuya the benefit of the doubt.

After my chat with Gale, I searched France's name on Facebook, sent him a friend request and messaged him. Tinanong ko lang kung may seminar bang pinuntahan si Kent. I wasn't expecting him to reply immediately. He's probably still asleep.

Natulog na muna ako. I'll probably order food again later for dinner. Tinatamad talaga akong lumabas. Tapos gagawin ko na yung design ko. May meeting daw kami bukas, Monday. They will determine if we need to extend the project or if we're just right on the timeline.

I hope it's the latter. Gusto ko na talagang umuwi. Nakakalungkot na rito, lalo na at mag-isa lang naman ako.

I woke up at about five in the afternoon. Naligo muna ako saka naglinis ng apartment. Nang maubusan ng lilinisin, I went online to check if France had replied yet.

One of the notifs indicated that I'm already friends with him. Saka may isang message. Galing kay France.

Pablo Francisco De Luna:

--Hi Jazz

--Yes, Kent's attending a seminar. Bakit mo natanong?

Jasmine Leigh Damian:

--Alas dos ng umaga ba yung seminar?

(Seen)

Pablo Francisco De Luna is typing...

Pablo Francisco De Luna:

--no. It's 2-7pm.

--didn't he tell u? He's in New York.

I just didn't know how to react to that. Tuluyan nang nalaglag ang panga ko sa kama.

Pablo Francisco De Luna is typing...

Pablo Francisco De Luna:

--When he learned that I was invited to a seminar in New York, he asked me if he could go instead. I got a feeling that he just wanted to see you so pumayag ako.

--Mag-iisang linggo na sya dyan a. Hindi pa ba kayo nagkikita?

Jasmine Leigh Damian:

--Hindi pa.

Dapat ba akong matuwa na nandito sya sa New York o magtampo dahil hindi nya sinabi sa 'kin? Hindi ko alam. I thanked France and logged off. Nag-online ulit ako ng mga bandang alas otso, assuming na nakabalik na si Kent sa hotel.

I waited for him to go online and when he did, agad kaming nag-Skype.

"So tell me about this seminar," bungad ko sa kanya.

"What about it?"

"What's it about?"

"Cooking," he answered casually.

"For how long?"

"It's a three-day seminar."

"So hanggang bukas pa?"

He nodded. "Why are you so interested all of a sudden?"

I shrugged. "No reason."

"So what did you do today?" he asked, changing the topic.

"I slept."

"Yun lang? Ni hindi ka man lang lumabas?"

I shook my head. "Tinatamad ako e. Saka wala akong ibang alam puntahan."

"Isa't kalahating buwan ka na sa New York pero wala ka pa ring alam na puntahan?"

"Hindi naman kasi ako gala. Saka sayang lang ang pera."

"It's not every day that you get to see New York. Huwag kang kuripot. Splurge a little."

"I can't afford to splurge a little. Tinitipid ko yung pera para makabili ako ng pasalubong. Nagpapabili ng sapatos sina tatay e."

Kumunot ang noo nya. "E di ba may sweldo ka naman?"

"Allowance ko yun tapos ipon ko para sa sasakyang bibilhin ko kay tatay." Gustong-gusto ng tatay ko ng van. At gusto nito, ako ang bibili. Yung panganay kong kuya ang nakatoka sa bahay tapos yung isa naman, sa lupa. Yung tinitirhan kasi namin, hindi sa amin talaga. Wala kaming sariling bahay. Isinanla lang yun sa 'min ng tita ko. May two years na lang kami.

Gusto nina tatay ng sariling bahay at lupa. Mahirap nga naman yung palipat-lipat.

"Come on. You're too uptight. You should enjoy your stay in New York."

"Okay." Dahil mapilit ka. "I'll ask Todd if he's not busy."

I tried my best not to smile when his face turned grim. Aba, bakit ba? Mag-iisang linggo na sya rito tapos hindi nya sinasabi sa 'kin? E di kung ayaw nyang magpakita, di 'wag! But I'm not saying that I'll make it bearable for him.

"Yeah, do that," inis nyang sabi.

"Okay. Matutulog na 'ko. Good night."

The screen turned black. He just logged off. Ohhhh, someone's pissed.

Kinabukasan, nagtipon-tipon ang mga involved sa project sa office. Pinag-usapan muna namin yung progress and it turned out that we're a little bit behind. May mga revisions pa rin sa plan. Nang matapos na ang meeting, Sir Josh asked me to stay for a while to talk to me.

Nagpipigil lang akong umiyak pero papatak na talaga ang luha ko nang sabihin nyang baka mag-extend pa raw ng one or two months.

His sick architect is still in no condition to work. May stomach tumor kasi ito at nag-undergo ng treatment but it was recently concluded that he should undergo surgery to take the tumor out.

Pag-uwi ko sa apartment, nahiga agad ako at niyakap ang Rilakkuma na bigay ni Kent and then I cried. I'm not used to being alone. Buong buhay ko, sa bahay ako umuuwi. Nang maka-graduate ako, saka lang ako napahiwalay sa kanila. One time is noong nag-stay ako sa isang island for some whack job's sick plan to get the five of us (Rico, Femi, Toby, Gale and me) to get along again.

Isa pang instance e noong nag-stay ako ng isang buwan sa bahay ni Kent. Pero at least noon, nakakadalaw ako sa bahay. Dito wala. I'm in an unfamiliar place, mingling with unfamiliar people. Parang walang comfort. I feel so alone. And just when I thought that it'll be over in a few weeks, saka naman sinabi sa 'kin na mai-extend yung project.

Sir Josh also offered me to continue working here. Honestly, New York's great but I didn't really dream of working outside the Philippines. Mahirap kasi.

I logged on Facebook again and asked France for Kent's hotel number. I called the latter since he's the closest. Akala ko walang sasagot dahil alas sais pa lang but he picked up.

"Hello?"

"K-Kent..."

"Jazz? Is that you?"

My voice cracked. "Y-Yeah..."

"Are you crying?"

"I am."

"Ano'ng nangyari? Nasa'n ka?"

"Sa apartment. Kent... puntahan mo 'ko dito, please..."

"Jazz, I—"

"I know you're in New York."

I heard him sigh. "Sure. I'll be right there."

Nakaubos na yata ako ng isang rolyo ng tissue. Mugto na ang mata ko kaiiyak. Paos na rin ang boses ko. When I heard the buzzer, mabilis pa sa alas kwatro akong bumangon saka tumakbo papunta sa pintuan. Walang pag-aatubili ko iyong binuksan.

He was standing there, carrying two plastic bags.

"Para kang naka-drugs. Okay ka lang?" bati nya.

I made a face and let him in. "Ano'ng dala mo?"

"Food." It smelled so good. Nilapag nya ang mga iyon sa lamesa at inisa-isang tanggalin mula sa plastic. Saka nya ako tiningnang mabuti. "Nangangayayat ka."

"Nagtitipid ako."

Nailing na lamang sya. "Kahit pa nagtitipid ka, you should not deprive yourself of food." He opened one takeout and gave it to me. "Eat."

Natuwa ako dahil kanin at sinigang ang laman noon. "Saan ka nakabili nito?"

"Dumaan ako sa isang Pinoy restaurant on my way here."

I asked him to eat with me but he said he's already full so I happily ate by myself. Ang sarap ng sinigang. Hindi masyadong maasim. Naaalala ko tuloy yung lutong siningang sa bahay.

Bago pa man ako maiyak ulit, inubos ko na ang pagkain.

He sat next to me on the couch and turned the TV on while I eat dessert, sinukmani. Heaven! Parang nasa Pilipinas ulit ako!

"Thanks for coming," nakangiti kong sabi sa kanya.

"Kung makaiyak ka kasi... pinakaba mo 'ko."

"E kasi, mai-extend daw kami ng isa o dalawang buwan. Tapos inaaya nila akong mag-transfer dito sa New York office."

"Gusto mo naman?"

I shrugged. "Sure, if it's an hour away flight from my house."

"So idi-decline mo?"

Umiling ako. "Hindi ko pa alam." Big opportunity 'to, sayang naman kung papakawalan ko lang. Iniisip ko rin na baka after a few more months e masanay na rin ako rito. But there is a huge possibility that I will be living alone here. And that, I can't stand.

"I hope not. Even if I wanted to branch out here, it would take a lot of time."

Napakunot ang noo ko sa sinabi nya. Why is he talking about branching out? What does this have to do with him?

"Ano naman ang kinalaman ng trabaho ko sa restaurant mo?"

"If we're ever going to get married, I wouldn't want to be away from you," he answered with a smile. Sa sobrang tuwa ko sa sagot nya, napayakap ako agad sa kanya.

"Where's Kent and what did you do to him?"

He put his arm around me and kissed my forehead. "Siguro naman ngayon, magtitiwala ka na sa 'kin. I've been really good, Jazz. I wanted this to work out."

It's nice to hear that from him. It's so comforting. Finally, he's assuring me that he's willing to invest himself that much. He's even considering marriage! That's always a good sign.

I gave him a peck on the cheek and leaned on his shoulder.

"Maiba 'ko, how did you know where to find me?"

"I asked France. Sabi nya, nang malaman mo raw na may nag-imbita sa kanya to attend this seminar, you volunteered to go."

"Yeah, I did. Nami-miss ko yung Chinese food dito e."

"Yung Chinese food lang?"

"And the Chinese girl from the restaurant."

Hinampas ko sya ng malakas. Tumawa naman sya. Nang-aasar talaga e.

"Wag mong sabihing hanggang dito sa New York, may naka-fling ka?"

"Meron nga," natatawa nyang sabi. Hinampas ko sya ulit. Gusto ko rin nga syang sabunutan kaso nagpipigil lang ako. It's all in the past now. Kung may naka-fling man sya, dati pa yun. Wala na ngayon. Nakakainis lang yung notion na sa lahat ng napuntahan nyang lugar e may nakareklasyon sya.

"I guess that's okay."

"What?"

"Dati pa yun e. Just don't get in touch with her again para wala tayong problema."

"Really? Where's Jazz and what did you do to her?" He looked baffled.

"Call it even, Kent. Since you're starting to consider marriage, I'll forego your past issues. Whatever you did in the past should stay in the past. Hindi ko na uungkatin pa. Like you said so yourself, you can change. I guess it's high time I start believing you."

I swear I saw his eyes shone for a moment. He beamed at me.

"You really are something, Jazz."

"For the relationship to work, we need to give and take. I know I've been unfair to you and you've been taking a lot of efforts just to please me. I don't want you to think that you're the only one who can give."

 "You've given me enough."

Bigla akong kinabahan nang hawakan nya ang pendant ng necklace ko. Shit. If he's thinking of proposing, huwag sana ngayon. I'm not sure if I'm ready yet.

"Kent—"

"Marry me..."

My breath hitched. He leaned and kissed me on the lips. I've heard people say that home is where the heart is. Ngayon ko lang napatunayan na tama sila. When we kissed, it felt like home.

"...someday."