Since we became a couple, I started to focus on us more. Kung paano kami magtatagal ng hindi nauumay sa isa't isa. Kung paano ko mapapanatili yung atensyon nya sa 'kin... Kung paano ko hahatiin ang oras ko sa kanya, sa pamilya ko at kay Toby. Tapos meron pa akong trabaho.

Nevertheless, it was fun. It was always fun with him, kahit palagi nya akong inaaway at inaalaska. Kent's a fun guy to be around. No wonder his past relationships keep on knocking at his door, begging for him to take them back.

At ako ang naging tagasalo ng bitterness nila. I tried ignoring them. Kung magpapadala kasi ako sa kanila,, alam kong masisira lang kami. But some had been pushy and persistent. May ilan na ang hindi ko maatim na hindi pansinin.

I told Kent to change his number and he did but somehow, may dalawa agad na nakaalam. Now, they're pestering me, because I exchanged numbers with him. Tuwang-tuwa naman sya tuwing nakikitang umuusok ang ilong ko tuwing may magti-text sa kanya na nag-aayang lumabas.

Hilarious. Couldn't he be anymore childish? I told him to cut ties with them already pero matigas ang ulo nya.

"Some of them are my friends. They're pretty decent," he told me.

"If they slept with you, they're not decent anymore."

"Hey... stop overreacting."

"Kung mabaliktad kaya ang sitwasyon at ako naman ang kinukulit ng mga ex ko, matuwa ka kaya?" I asked sourly.

He scoffed. "I highly doubt that's even possible."

Sinuntok ko sya sa braso. Ang sama ng ugali. Porket iisa lang ang ex ko, ang lakas na ng loob nya? Pasalamat sya, mag-best friends na lang ulit kami ni Toby. Nagsisisi tuloy ako kung bakit pumayag akong best friends na lang ulit kami. Ah right, it's not really good to lead him on. Konsensya naman, Jazz.

Ngayon, wala akong pang-blackmail kay Kent. I just hope he remains faithful. That is, if he's being faithful. I don't want to ask, baka sapakin nya 'ko.

"Maiba 'ko, malapit na ang birthday ko. Ano'ng plano mo?"

He looked at me quizzically. "Dapat ba akong magplano? That's your birthday. You do the planning." Pinanlisikan ko sya ng mata. I picked up my bag from the couch and stood up, ready to leave, when he raced me to the door and blocked it. "Biro lang!" dagdag nya.

"Hindi nakakatawa!"

He gave me a bear hug with one arm while his other hand took my bag and slung it back to the couch. "Geez, meron ka ba? Ang sungit mo."

"Ang dami mo kasing babae!" As if on cue, my phone (with his number) started ringing. There's no caller ID on the screen. "O ayan! May isa na naman!"

Kinuha nya yung phone ko saka tinitigan ang screen. "Hmmm..." He accepted the call. "Hello?"

Sinamaan ko sya ng tingin.

Tumawa sya. "Cheska! Yes, I remember you. I'm doing well, how about you?" Nakatingin sya sa 'kin habang nagsasalita sa telepono. Nananadya talaga e. Sarap tadyakan sa pagkalalaki.

Inagaw ko sa kanya ang phone.

"—kuya, ano na naman bang drama 'to? Who's Cheska? Nandyan ba si Jazz?"

"Gale..."

"Jazz! Who's Cheska?"

I can imagine Gale frowning, trying so hard to figure out what was happening.

"Ewan ko sa kuya mong may saltik."

"Nag-aaway na naman kayo?"

"Inaaway nya 'ko," pagtatama ko sa sinabi nya. Kent smirked. He also started wiggling his eyebrows. Nagpapa-cute yata. Ang isip-bata nya talaga masyado. "Bakit ka nga pala napatawag, Gale?"

"May sasabihin daw kasi si mama kay Kuya."

"A... okay. O, heto na sya."

I gave the phone to Kent. Habang nakikipag-usap sya sa mama nya, nilaro ko naman yung tuta namin. Pomsky ang lahi. Sobrang cute! Ako na ang nagpipigil na lumapit kasi sobrang nakakagigil. Ang sarap lamutakin nung tuta kasi ang cute cute.

Maya-maya'y lumapit si Kent. Tapos na ang tawag. I stood up while cradling the pomsky in my arms. Mukhang malalim ang iniisip nya.

"What is it?" Baka sinabi sa kanya ng mama nya na ayaw naman talaga nito sa 'kin. Did she ask him to break up with me?

Tumingin sa 'kin si Kent ng mataman. Shit! Mukhang yun nga...

"Will you marry me?"

Kasabay ng paglaglag ng panga ko ang paglaglag ng tuta sa sahig. The puppy yapped. Agad akong lumuhod para tingnan kung nabalian ito o ano. Mabuti na lang at carpeted yung sahig na pinaglaglagan nito.

Teka, ano na nga ulit yung tanong ni Kent? Fuck! Bakit nanginginig ang kamay ko?

"You're going to crush his little neck."

Kinuha ni Kent yung tuta mula sa kamay ko. Hawak-hawak ko ito sa leeg. Nasasakal ko na yata. Shit. Ano ba kasi yung tanong nya ulit?

He cupped the side of my face. He looked concerned. "Jazz, okay ka lang? Namumutla ka..."

"T-Tubig..."

Ikinuha nya ako ng tubig mula sa kusina. Nang makainom ako, saka ako nahimasmasan.

"Ano ulit yung tanong mo?"

"I asked if you will marry me."

"S-Seryoso ka?"

"I just want to see how you would react. Mukhang hindi ka pa ready."

Parang nag-hang yung utak ko sa sagot nya. Leche. All that reaction, for nothing? Subok lang, ganyan?

"Hey, don't get upset," he said.

"Quota ka na sa panggagago ngayong araw. Uuwi na 'ko."

Pinigilan nya 'ko. "Hey..."

"I'll see you next week."

"Di ba may lakad tayo bukas?" Pupunta dapat kami ng Pampanga e nabwisit ako sa kanya.

"Ikaw na lang."

"Jazz... Aantayin tayo nina Tita Annabeth."

I sighed. Wedding anniversary ng Tita nya. Twenty five years of marriage. At inimbita kami. Nung una, game na game akong pumunta e. And if he was just serious with his recent proposal, e di sana may maibabalita ako sa mga kamag-anak nya bukas. Kent's finally settling down! They'd axclaim. And then they'd look at me like I was an angel sent from above who managed to sneak into the family.

Kaso wala na. Joke lang pala yun. Subok lang to see how I would react. Next time na magtanong sya, hindi na lang ako sasagot.

"Fine."

Pero umuwi pa rin ako.

The next day, he picked me up at seven in the morning. I tried to keep the conversation to a minimum. Ayaw ko pa rin syang kausapin. Akala nya yata nakakatuwa yung ginawa nya kahapon. Kung nataon nga sigurong may topak ako kahapon, baka nakipag-break pa 'ko sa kanya.

"Pwede bang kalimutan muna natin ang nangyari kahapon?"

Hindi ako sumagot.

"Jazz, please don't be sour kapag nandun na tayo."

"Okay."

"Can you please tear your face off the window and look here?"

"Don't push it, Kent. I'll put on a smile once we're there."

And just like I promised, my smile was automatic when we stepped into the venue. Isang malaking parabola tent na kulay puti ang nakalagay sa gitna. Maliit lang yung place. Parang resort, ganun. Doon sila sa pinakang-likod kung saan malaki yung lupa. May mini-stage sa unahan tapos may mga design na nakabakod dun sa tent. May ilang tables na nakalagay sa gitna. White and blue ang theme nila. Tapos white roses and violets ang mga bulaklak.

Kent led me to his family. Nandun din sina Gale at Rico. France wasn't there, as usual. He'd rather stay inside the restaurant and cook his ass off than go to events like this. Mas pressured kasi ito dahil hindi pa rin ito kasal, tapos wala pang girlfriend.

I smiled and talked like nothing happened yesterday and they did not suspect anything.

After a short speech from the celebrants, they joined us at the table. And the conversation quickly zeroed to us.

"Ikaw pangkin, kelan ikakasal?" nakangiting tanong ng tita nya sa kanya.

He just laughed and said soon. "Darating din kami dyan, tita."

Hindi pa dun natapos. They insisted that he's old enough and he's not getting any younger. Na gusto na raw ng mama nya ng apo. Si Gale, nakisakay din. Gusto na rin daw nya ng pamangkin saka gusto nya na ring makasal.

It's not until I said that I wasn't ready that they stopped.

A little while later, may dalawang babaeng dumating. Parehong maganda. Ang hahaba ng biyas. Mga model ata. Akala ko pinsan nila kasi ang gaganda ng lahi nila. Seryoso, walang patapon. Kahit yung mga may edad na, halata mong magaganda at gwapo noong kabataan.

Yumakap yung isa doon sa tito at tita ni Kent and then to his mom and dad, kay Gale, kay Chuck and lastly, sa kanya. Tapos saka ako nito pinansin, na para bang biglang natanggal yung invisibility cloak na suot ko.

She introduced herself to me. Daina, ex ni Kent at family friend. They had a one-time thing, Kent told me after. Tapos yung isa pang babae na medyo suplada, pinsan nya raw. Fourth or fifth or sixth? Di ko na matandaan. Basta naka-fling nya rin. Later na lang nila nalaman na magkamag-anak pala sila.

If I didn't need to look happy, kanina ko pa sya nasapak. Pesteng yan! Pati pinsan nya, napatos nya? I don't care if she's his 100th cousin, pinsan nya pa rin yun!

Maybe he's right. Maybe I'm really not ready to marry him yet. Ang dami ko pa yatang kailangang malaman tungkol sa kanya.

Nang matapos ang event, hindi ko na ulit sya kinausap. Hanggang sa makarating kami sa bahay, nananahimik pa rin ako. Bago nya ako pababain ng sasakyan, nag-sorry sya ulit sa ginawa nya kahapon.

"Okay lang," sabi ko. "Okay na 'ko."

"I didn't realize that you would take that too seriously..."

E gago ba sya? Syempre, proposal yun e! Gusto nya bang tawanan ko lang yun? Sige Kent, kapag may next time, tatawanan ko na.

Humarap ako sa kanya. "You know what? I realized something too."

"What's that?"

"I realized I'm not ready to marry you."

I gave him a quick kiss and got out of the car before he could even utter another word.