(RECAP) Matthew

"He means you love her," Carter explained. My face turned hot. 

"So what if I do?" I said. Aaron gasped and Carter smiled. 

"You turned into Carter!" Aaron exclaimed. What was so bad about falling in love?

ஐLillyஐ  

"Girl, you had us worried sick. After we heard what happened..." Jess said, tearing up. "I was so scared!" She said, collapsing in my arms. Kelly teared up and nodded as well. 

"I know, I'm sorry. I meant to call but I didn't want to worry you guys any more than I already had. I've been good here, Mathew has been here every day to keep me company." I said, rubbing Jess's back as she quietly sobbed. "I'm fine, really," I said. Jess looked up to Kells and they smiled at each other. 

"Are... Is Lillian in... Is Lillian in love?!" Kelly said, eyeing me. I blushed and hid under the blanket. 

"Don't call me that, and... I mean... I, I don't know," I said, receiving giggles. 

"You are!" Jess exclaimed. 

"Fine! Yes! I am! He's sweet, and kind, and perfect, and understanding! He's... it's like he was made for me to find." I said, starting out in a high voice and quickly bringing it down. The whole room was full of smiles. Was I really in love? I... I think I am. Is he? A beep went off on Kells phone. 

"Sorry, Lil. We gotta go, I have to get to the library to study for finals, and I have to bring Jess along. We'll come back tomorrow okay?" She said, giving me a quick hug as Jess composed herself and stood up. 

"Thanks for coming to see me! See you tomorrow," I said, waving to them as they left me to my thoughts. My mind quickly drifted to the boys. Are they okay? What could my parents be doing to them? I instantly got a headache and laid back down. I probably just need some water, I told myself. I got up and attempted to stand the first time, and fell back onto the hospital bed. I tried again, and again, and again. I became weak and broke into a cold sweat. I tried one last time, using the bed to support me. I got up and smiled, closing my eyes. Until I felt myself fall into the supplies table next to my bed and then on to the floor. My head hurt so bad I couldn't think. I screamed until I felt someone pick me up and yell out. I couldn't decipher what they said because all I could think about was the only color I barely saw. Red. 

---

I woke up slowly, taking my time to feel the adrenaline leave me and all the pain coming back. I opened my eyes a little, seeing three guys talking to the doctor. Mathew, Carter, and Andrew. Andrew was wiping himself off because he was covered in blood. Was that mine? Mathew was listening to the doctor while Carter sat next to me, seeing that I woke up. 

"Hey," He said. 

"H, Hey," I muttered out. I looked down to my arms, covered in red bandages. My eyes got wide. What happened... I started to get up, breathing quickly as I tried to figure out what happened. I tried to use my arms to sit up but cried out in pain as Carter yelled at me to stay down. The doctor appeared over me, telling me to calm down and lay down. I did as told, and they all stepped back. I looked to Mathew, and then held up my arms to examine them. 

"What did I do?" I said quietly. 

"You tried to stand and tired yourself out too much and fell on to the stitches table with all the blades. Cut your arms up pretty bad. If Carter hadn't have come back early you might've bled out." The doctor quickly explained. "You must like to get hurt Lillian," he said. I winced at the name. 

"Thank you, Carter," I said. He bowed and tipped an invisible hat. 

"It's likely that you fainted from the sight of the blood and your own exhaustion," The doctor said again. "Make sure she doesn't move those arms, I have to check on another patient for a moment, excuse me," He said, leaving the room. 

"Why would you try to stand? You know you couldn't," Mathew said, walking over to me. He looked mad...

"I wanted to do something for myself, just to get up and get a drink of water," I said. 

"But why would you even try! You can ask a nurse for that!" He exclaimed. Where was this anger coming from...?

"I wanted to do it myself," I said calmly. 

"But you knew, you knew! Why!" He yelled, making me flinch. 

"Hey," Andrew said, putting a hand on Mathews' chest. Mathews' face turned from anger to regret. "Let's take a walk," Andrew suggested. Mathews' eyes said that he was sorry as he and Andrew walked out of the room and into the hall. Carter sat next to me and took my hand. It was in a comforting way, not a romantic way, you know?

"I'm sorry," I said, a tear falling from my eye. 

"I know," Carter said, wiping the tear. "Don't worry about him. He's not mad at you, he's mad at himself," he said. "He wanted to come back early like me but Andrew told him to stay. He sent me to check on you for him. He blames himself for sending me instead of him coming." Carter said, looking to me.  

"I don't care about that," I said. 

"I know. It's just how he is. Don't take it to personal. He... He loves you, you know?" Carter said. I blushed. 

"I do know," I said, facing the wall and closing my eyes, a small smile on my face.