ஐLillyஐ (again, but next chapter will be Mathews POV)

Sentence(s) of the chapter-  I sat there and cried at his remembrance.

I cleaned the house in my spare time, which only took about an hour because it's usually clean. I passed the closet door on the way to put up the broom and thought about it.
Most people would think that a door in the middle of the hallway is just a closet, I mean it also looks like a closet. But behind the cloths, is my solitude.
          There's a door, hidden behind all that, that goes to a small basement. I renovated it and put lights and things down there, but the most important thing there is the grand piano that we have had since I was 3 years old. It's a glossy black, with stunning white keys.
I go down there when I read these messages, these awful things. I've taught myself how to play, not by notes, but by listening to the song. It's a way out, out of the drama in my life, out of the hatefulness, out of where I always have to be happy. Down here, I can be sad, without hurting anyone in the process.
I turned the nob to the closet door, seeing all the jackets and things. I just pushed it all out of the way and found the nob for the other door, turning it slowly. I walked cautiously down the steps, trying not to fall. After successfully making it down, I turned on my fairy light. Well, I call them fairy lights, but other might call them Christmas lights. Plain yellow one lit up the small room. I walked over to a small table I have, and picked up a folded flag, his folded flag. I placed it on top of the piano and sat down. I smiled softly as I skimmed over the keys.
I took out my phone and started reading.
"Your so ugly,"
"You should do the world a favor and die."
"Your pathetic,"
There were a lot seeing that I haven't looked in over 2 days. I sighed and turned off my phone, staring at the keys, thinking.
There's me, Brandon, and Timothy. We're all each other has left. There all I have left. You say I have two brothers, but your wrong. There were three. Jason Neil Lycaster, my hero. A fantastic brother and a great marine. He went off to war, sending letters every week or so. Every week a new surprise. One day there came a knock at the door, and I was so scared to answer, so scared.
A man in a military suit stood there, but it wasn't my brother. He took off his hat and looked at me. He didn't have to say anything, I had already guessed. He was gone, Missing in Action, as they like to call it. Just another term for, 'You have to bury an empty coffin,'. Which I did. Alone. No one came, no one grieved with me. All because I was the weird girl with the weird family. I'm the only one who put a rose on his grave, or gives him flowers every year when the old ones have died. No one but me.
Sure, the boys know, but it doesn't affect them, because they weren't there. Me, and me alone.
I closed my eyes and cried silently. He was literally the only thing I had.

It was two weeks after the day she turned eighteen
All dressed in white, going to the church that night

    I cried as my fingers danced across the keys, each creating a beautifully sad chord every time. I sang softly, afraid that I'll ruin the song if I sang to loudly. The only difference was that I was 8, not 18.

She had his box of letters in the passenger seat
Sixpence in her shoe
Something borrowed, something blue

        I had taken his letters with me that day. The day of the funeral. Not even mom and dad showed up. They didn't care. No one did.

And when the church doors opened up wide
She put her veil down trying to hide the tears

      I cried for four hours that day, talking to his empty gravestone. I'd sat on the ground, trying to keep it together.

Oh she just couldn't believe it
She heard the trumpets from the military band
And the flowers fell out of her hands

      My voice got louder as the original song does, making me cry harder. If he was here, he'd know what to do, exactly what to say. If only her was here...

Baby, why'd you leave me, why'd you have to go
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know

         He was supposed to meet Brandon and Timothy, and he would've loved them. We would've been a happy family, no matter what. We wouldn't been so screwed up.

I can't even breathe
It's like I'm looking from a distance,
Standing in the background
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now,

Except no one was there to say anything. Sure there were Military people there, but it felt like a void of darkness. Something you can't escape easily.

This can't be happening to me
This is just a dream

But it wasn't. It wasn't a dream. No matter how hard I prayed that it was, it just wasn't. I didn't want to accept that, but it was all there was.

The preacher man said let us bow our heads and pray
Lord please lift his soul and heal this hurt

      I don't think anything could help me. I stayed in my room for months, which is a lot for an 8 year old. Months. Then, at the beginning of the school year, I went back. Then I heard I'd be having two more brothers, and realized that I had gotten a second chance.

Then the congregation all stood up
And sang the saddest song that she ever heard

It's true. They did sing the saddest song I'd ever heard.

Then they handed her a folded up flag
And she held on to all she had left of him

I looked at the flag on the piano, and remembered the  folding it, how elegantly they did it. How gently they handed it to me, the little 8 year old who hugged it to her chest and prayed to every god there was to bring him back.

Oh, and what could've been
And then guns rang one last shot
And it felt like a bullet in her heart

Baby, why'd you leave me, why'd you have to go
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know
I can't even breathe
It's like I'm looking from a distance,
Standing in the background
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now,
This can't be happening to me
This is just a dream

Baby, why'd you leave me, why'd you have to go
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know
Oh I'll never know
It's like I'm looking from a distance,
Standing in the background
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now,
This can't be happening to me
This is just a dream

Oh, this is just a dream
Just a dream, (yeah, yeah)

I sang, officially ending the song. I sat there and cried at his remembrance.

---Maddie