I've never been super religious; I've always been vaguely aware that there was probably a god or whoever who looked after us, but I never really acted on my faith, other than going to church a few times when I was young. However, there's no other way to describe where I went after the car accident other than someplace kind of like heaven. Everyone I saw there had this golden glow to them and they were happy and free. Dallas and Johnny greeted me with smiling faces, both my parents were there, both of Soda's parents were there. And a little boy who looked just like me was being watched over by my mother and father and I knew right away that he was supposed to be Sam. It was all the people I constantly missed and thought about.

"It's so nice here," I said. "I never want to leave."

"You have to," my mother said.

"Why?"

"Because you have four kids dependent on you."

"Four?"

It dawned on me that there were no newborn babies anywhere around. Had I had the baby?

"Where's my baby?"

"She's okay," my dad said, smiling brightly.

"Are you all okay?"

"We're great," Johnny said. He looked just as small as I remembered him, but he was strong and happy.

"I miss you guys," I said. "All of you." I looked over to Dallas, who was saying nothing.

"Don't tell anyone Dallas Winston has a soft spot," he winked.

I frowned. "You've told me that before. A long time ago."

The little boy ran up to me and I found myself picking him up. "Hi, Sam," I greeted.

"Hi, mama," he replied, smiling widely at me. He had Andy's eyes, but, otherwise, he looked just like me.

"You're so beautiful," I told him.

"We've been taking care of him," my mom said and I smiled. "Thank you for taking care of your brother and sister."

"I've always taken care of them."

"You're a good sister, Candice. And you're going to make a great mom. But you have to go back," Mrs. Curtis told me. "You have to go back and take care of Soda and your babies and your siblings."

"But I love you guys."

"You can love us from down there," said Darrel.

"We'll meet again one day. But now is not your time," Johnny said.

Everything went white and my family and friends disappeared. The white faded and I was staring at blackness again. In the distance, I could hear monitors beeping and people talking.

"It could be any day now," someone said.

"Do you think it could be today?" someone else asked.

"Possibly, but the only thing we can do now is wait."

"We've been waiting!"

"Calm down. Yelling isn't going to help."

"I'm just so irritated. It's been 'any day now' for almost a week. I want her to wake up now."

"That's not up to anyone here, man. It's up to her. She's got to figure out when she wants to wake up."

There was a sigh before the room fell silent.

It was like this for a while. I couldn't open my eyes. It was like being asleep, but I could hear most of what everyone was saying. It was really frustrating. All I wanted was to see my family, but I couldn't figure out how to wake up.

"Candy, if you can hear me, just squeeze my hand, doll."

I tried to squeeze whoever's hand it was I was meant to squeeze, and I thought I was doing it until I heard a low, defeated sigh.

"She'll come around, buddy. You just have to be patient."

"I know."

"How's Hannah doing?"

"She's doing good. Baby's good. They haven't figured out what to name him yet."

"Last I heard, Two-Bit wanted to name him Tucker."

"Tucker Mathews... it fits."

"Tucker was Dally's middle name."

"Oh, I see. That's very sweet."

"I'm surprised Hannah let Keith name the baby," someone chuckled.

"Speaking is baby, how's your little one?"

"She's okay. They're going to move her from the NICU tomorrow and put her in the regular nursery."

"She's strong."

"Just like her mother."

I don't know why, but I could imagine Sodapop smiling. I wasn't sure who was talking; all the voices sounded exactly the same. But I knew for sure that Soda was among the group.

"Did you guys decide on a name?"

"Yeah. We were gonna name her Dove."

"Dove, that's so beautiful."

"I can't believe she'll be three weeks old in a few days."

"Almost a whole month old," someone sighed.

"Don't worry. She's gonna wake up. They already unhooked all the life supporting things, which means she's strong enough to breathe on her own. She's gonna wake up soon."

"I know. It's just the anticipation, you know?"

"I know, buddy. It'll be okay."

It fell quiet once more and all the voices faded out.

"Candice Roxanne Marshall, if you can hear me... just know that I love you with all my heart. We all miss you so much." There was a pause. "I can't wait for you to meet our baby. She's so beautiful. Everyone keeps saying she looks like me but I can't really tell. We've all gone to visit her, but we're not allowed to hold her just yet. They're bringing her to the regular nursery tomorrow. She was pretty sick, but she pushed through, just like I know you will.

"Wake up soon, Candy."

For the final time, it was silent.

I must have fallen asleep because I started dreaming. I dreamed that I was swimming in the clouds, just floating along. And I dreamed that it was my whole family there and we were all happy.

At the end of the dream, Greg whispered, "wake up, Candice."

And, before I knew it, my eyes were fluttering open. The lights of the hospital room mixed with the bright white walls made me squint. It took a minute for my eyes to adjust fully, but when they did I realized just how messed up I'd gotten from that car accident.

It felt like lugging a ton of bricks when I tried to move my head. I could feel something wrapped around me and it took me a minute to realize it was a back brace. Holy shit, I thought.

Someone was sitting next to me, but I couldn't tell who it was. When I finally got my head turned, I saw that it was my younger brother. He was fast asleep. I reckoned it was early morning, as the sun was barely rising.

I noticed his other arm was in a sling and he had a few bruises on his face, but they were very faded. He also had a scar forming above his eyebrow. Otherwise, he seemed okay.

"G-Greg," I mumbled out, my throat drier than the Sahara desert. When he didn't reply, I squeezed his hand as hard as I could. This made him jump.

"What the—" Upon seeing me, his jaw went slack and he immediately started crying. "Candice, oh my god." He got to his feet. "Hang on, I'll get a nurse." Greg disappeared out of the room and a minute later reappeared with a nurse. She smiled upon seeing me and reached for the stethoscope that was slung around her neck.

"Hello, Miss Marshall. "I'm Amanda. How are you feeling?"

"Water," I finally managed to sputter out.

"I will get you some water as soon as I check to make sure your reflexes are okay." She took a flashlight and shone it in my eyes. I squeezed my eyes closed at the harshness of the light. "Bare with me here, hon. Keep your eyes on my finger." I opened my eyes for her and she shone the light in my eyes again while I stared at her finger. "Pupil dilation is normal. A good sign."

She turned off the light. "Now, can you tell me your first, middle, and last name?"

"Candice Roxanne Marshall," I replied.

"Do you know my name?" Greg asked.

"Gregory Owen Jensen."

For the first time in his whole life, Greg smiled at the use of his whole name.

"I think you're gonna be fine." The nurse smiled but it quickly disappeared. "Except for your legs."

"My legs?" I asked.

"In the crash, your back broke and most of the mobility in your lower body was severed. You could probably wiggle your toes, but not much past that."

"What about my baby?" I asked, finally noticing the absence of my round belly.

"They had to perform an emergency Caesarean Section to save her," Greg explained. "She spent three weeks in the NICU, but she's in the nursery now."

"Three weeks... How long was I asleep for?"

"Almost a month. You were in a coma, actually, but you came out of it a few days ago," said the nurse.

"Jesus. What happened? I don't really remember much."

"We were hit head-on on the passenger side. You got the full impact. Claire and Robin are totally fine, except Claire needed stitches and Robin had a few bruises. My arm was broken at the elbow and I broke a few ribs. Soda broke a rib and his hand and he had a concussion for a few days."

"Is the other driver okay?"

"No," Greg sighed, avoiding my gaze. "He was drunk driving. He died soon after arriving at the hospital. We're really lucky. It could have been a lot worse."

"So... everyone's okay?"

"Yeah," said Greg. "For the most part. Soda wouldn't leave your side for days. He hasn't slept much at all. I finally got him to go home with the girls last night while I stayed here. He's gonna flip when he finds out you're awake."

I smiled lightly. "So when can I go home?"

The nurse scoffed like I just said the most preposterous thing in the whole world. "Not for quite a while."

It was then that I started to feel the pain. My head hurt, my back and ribs hurt, but below my waist, I couldn't feel much. There was a faint aching in my legs, but that was it.

"We took you off life support a week after you came in."

"Life— What?"

"Yeah," said Greg, scratching the back of his head nervously. "You died three times. Once in the ambulance on the way here, then again after they delivered the baby, and once more an hour later. You improved pretty quickly. We were really worried for a while."

"So how is everyone else now?"

Greg smiled. "You're always so worried about everyone else. Candice, we're all okay."

"Hey, Greg, I'm gonna—" we all turned to the doorway to see Steve entering.

"Holy—" He almost ran over, but he stopped himself. "Hey, girlie."

"Long time, no see," I replied, grinning slightly.

"Sodapop's on his way. He's bringing the gang."

"The whole gang?"

"Well, your gang." Steve gave me a bright smile before turning to Amanda. "How is she?"

"So far, so good. She's talking, her reflexes are normal. She's acting like nothing ever happened."

"Except my legs..." I muttered.

"Hey, don't worry about that," said Steve, grabbing my hand and lightly squeezing. "The most important thing is that you're here and well and everyone's okay."

I nodded. I knew that. And I was more than grateful. I was almost too stunned to speak a lot, really. I couldn't believe I'd died. Most importantly, I couldn't believe my baby was alive and she was healthy.

"My baby--"

"She's okay," said Greg with a big smile.

"Hey, kiddo, I'm gonna go back down to the lobby and see if Soda's made it here yet. He's bringing Robin and Claire with him." Steve gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze before walking out again.

"I'm going to go inform the doctor that your vitals and reflexes are all good and he'll come in and take a look at you in just a little while, okay?" Amanda asked and I nodded.

"Thank you," I told her. She returned my comment with a bright smile before she walked out again.

After Amanda left, the room was silent for a couple of seconds.

"She's really beautiful, Candy." I knew right away that Greg meant my baby.

"Did Soda name her?"

"Not yet. He told us you guys had planned on naming her Dove."

I smiled. "Yeah."

"But he wanted to wait until you woke up so you guys could name her together."

"He was so sure I was just gonna wake up?"

"He knew you would. I mean, we all knew you would, but Soda-- I don't think anyone in the world knows you better than him."

I smiled, just thinking about Sodapop Curtis. "He's been my best friend since we were in preschool. He's known me since before I even really knew myself."

"He loves you a lot. I'm glad you guys got together."

"I am, too."

I heard a commotion down the hallway, then, and I knew it was most likely Sodapop freaking out. His face appeared in the doorway a minute later and I couldn't tell which I saw first, the wide smile on his face or the tears running down his cheeks.

"Hi," I said.

"Candice, oh my god." He came rushing over and he knelt beside the bed. Claire and Robin appeared in the doorway and I sent them both smiles.

"I'm gonna leave you alone for a while," Greg said.

"Come back in soon," I said. "I wanna see everyone."

"I will." Greg bent down and kissed my cheek before leaving the hospital room and taking the girls with him.

I turned back to Sodapop. "Hey, stranger."

Soda chuckled, but it got caught in his throat.

"Hi, baby." He pushed my hair back gently and all I could do was smile.

"How are ya?"

"God, you're acting like we've been on separate vacations," he joked, but he was frowning. "We lost you."

"But I'm back."

"I know." I placed my hand to the side of his face.

"So stop worrying about me."

"I'm always gonna worry about you."

"I love you."

"God, I love you."

He placed a firm, yet gentle kiss against my mouth. It was like I hadn't seen him in years. It felt like this when he first came home from Vietnam, except I was in a lot less physical pain, then. We weren't engaged or even dating, then. We weren't raising two kids together, then.

It was just over a year ago that I was wrapping my arms around Sodapop Curtis for the first time in eight long years. I'd been asleep for a month now and he looked like he'd been through hell and back at least a dozen times.

"I've been in the hospital for worse," I said, trying to lighten the mood.

Sodapop laughed. "No, doll, I don't think you have." He gave me another kiss. "I missed you so much."

"How's the baby?" I asked him.

The grin that adorned his face was something I'd only seen a few times: pride, love, assurance.

"She's great. I got to hold her for the first time the other day. At birth, she weighed seven pounds, five ounces. Eighteen inches long. She was pretty sick for the first couple weeks, so they had her in the NICU and no one was allowed to hold her, but she's been in the normal nursery for a few days. I finally got to hold her. She's so beautiful, Candice."

Sodapop looked like he was about to cry. I reached up and ran my thumb under his lower eyelid and he just smiled. He took my bruised knuckles and kissed them lightly.

We turned when we heard a knock on the door. "Hi, Candice. I'm Doctor Everfield. How are you feeling?"

"Pretty good," I said. "My back and my head hurt."

"Yeah, you broke your back and you hit your head pretty good. Now that you're awake, I can put in a prescription for some painkillers. Nurse said your vitals are good and your reflexes are good. We want to run some tests later, but I know it's going to be hard on you since you're practically paralyzed..."

I'd heard it before, but coming from the doctor, it seemed to really set my perspective in place. I couldn't walk. My legs had some feeling, but nothing beyond a slight, ghostly aching. I'd broken my back; that's how hard I'd been hit in the crash. It was a miracle my baby had even survived, let alone was doing well only a few weeks later.

Someone was really looking out for me. I didn't know who-- a god, or multiple gods maybe-- but, whoever it was, I was eternally grateful and thankful that my life, along with my newborn child's, had been spared.

For the first time in a long time, I started to really bawl.