After settling into my hotel room in New York and making sure all my papers were in order, I called a cab to take me to my grandparents' house. They knew I was coming over--I'd called them a few weeks before to let them know-- but they had no idea why I was heading over.

The entire nine-minute cab ride from my hotel to their place, all I could think about was how this was even going to pan out. I knew they were going to freak; Soda and I didn't have a great chance of gaining guardianship now, what with me having no job; and oh, god, to think about my grandmother's mystery illness on top of it all. I was a walking, talking, emotional wreck.

"We're here," the cabbie said, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Oh, thanks," I said, passing him a twenty dollar bill and slipping out of the cab.

As people passed me on the sidewalk, I realized how different New York was from Tulsa. I remembered Dallas and how he said that the cities were nothing alike. They didn't have rumbles here like we used to back home, and their gang wars were usually over drugs, not social structure.

Nowadays, the socs were called 'hippies' and had a lot of fun disturbing the peace with their anti-war protests. Not that I disagreed with them about war, but the fact that they were trying to fight a war with a war just didn't make sense to me. And on top of it all, they were spending their minds on pot and ecstasy.

I had tried pot once and it was nothing to remark over. Then again, I wasn't into the 'expand your mind' movement much like they were.

I shook my head. I tried not to think about Dallas, but it was hard not to, considering I was in the city he'd grown up in. Of course, he had grown up in a rougher area, but New York is New York.

I walked up the front porch steps of my grandparents' home and knocked on the door. I clutched the envelope close to me and waited for someone to open the door.

Eventually, my grandfather, Eric, opened it. It was only going on a quarter to two now: Greg and Claire were still at school. That's how I had planned it. I wanted to talk with my grandparents first before getting the twins' hopes up, in case some unexpected wall came caving in.

"Oh, hi, Candice," Eric said, his voice low and sounding tired. He was a bit of a grumpy old man, but he wasn't all bad.

"Hi, Grandpa," I greeted.

"Come in, come in. Make yourself at home. The kiddos are at school," he said.

"Yeah, I figured," I said. "I actually wanted to talk to you and grandma first before they got home. I didn't tell them I was coming."

"Oh, they'll be surprised. Judith!" he hollered. There was a ruckus and some loud clanging before my grandmother walked into the room, seeming slightly dazed.

"Hi, Gran," I greeted.

Judith gave me a look like she had no idea who I was.

"Judith, you know Candice," said Eric.

"No. Are you the maid?"

I raised my eyebrows, giving my grandfather a look.

"Yeah, that's how it is. She's like this half the day and the other half I'm fighting with her about going to the doc."

"It sounds serious."

"I know, I know," he said, waving me off. "I've been trying for months now and she won't go. I figured she'd just go when she finally decided on it."

All I could think was that Judith was worse than I had initially thought. I knew I hadn't seen my grandmother that many times in our lives, but for her to completely not know me at all was a little heartbreaking.

"Greg and Claire will be home soon," said Eric.

"Greg? Is he coming to fix the TV?"

"There's nothing wrong with the TV, woman," Eric huffed. "I told you earlier."

"Aaron, the screen's black."

"That's because it's not on, dear," said Eric, ignoring the fact that his wife hadn't even called him by his actual name.

Now that is heartbreaking, I thought to myself.

"Well, I have something I wanted to talk to you guys about anyway," I said. "Could we sit at the table?"

"Yeah. I'll make coffee. You drink coffee?"

"Not really," I admitted. Eric made a dismissive sort of noise and got to making coffee anyway.

"So what're you here for?" he asked.

"Well, I..." I took a deep breath before continuing. "I wanted to ask you about custodial rights."

"Eh?"

"Well, I just figured, since you guys are getting older and Greg and Claire will need someone to take care of them for the next five years until they turn eighteen, I figured maybe I could have total guardianship of them."

"What would you wanna do that for? Those kids are nothing but trouble. Greg's fighting, Claire won't eat. These kids are nightmares."

"What do you mean?" I asked. "Greg fighting? That doesn't sound like him at all. And Claire ate everything I made when she was over for Christmas. Did you know she's vegetarian?"

"Oh no. You're being fooled. Greg got suspended at the beginning of the month, right after they got home. And Claire refuses to even eat the salad I make. It's a constant war."

"Well, maybe they'd do better in Tulsa with me and my boyfriend. We just moved into a new house. We have plenty of room. And the schools there are actually really good."

"How would you know? You dropped out."

"I only dropped out to take care of them," I argued, which was technically true. "You know, when my mother was a raging alcoholic and then only stopped so she could die in sobriety from the spontaneous cancer she got. They had no one but me."

"They're bad kids," Eric said as he sat down with two cups of coffee.

"They're not," I said. "They're great kids. And if it's so much hassle on you, you shouldn't have a problem signing the papers, right?"

"Is that what that is?" he asked. "I was hoping it was some kind of paycheck for all the bullshit I put up with."

"Yeah, I wish those exist," I replied half-sarcastically. "But with Gran being ill, wouldn't it make it easier for you guys?" I said.

Eric threw his head into his hands and rubbed his face violently with his calloused hands.

"I suppose," he said. "So, what, all I gotta do is sign some damn papers?"

"Yes," I said. I removed the official documents from the envelope and slid them across the table to him. "All you have to do is sign your name, saying you agree to relinquish all custodial rights to yours truly, Candice R. Marshall."

"Jesus Christ. You must care about these damn kids."

I tried my best not to blow my top. I couldn't believe this man was talking about his grandchildren like they were just a couple of inconveniences in his oh-so-perfect life. This whole time, I hadn't heard him speak ill of his ailing wife, who was the real bump in the road for him. Not that I had anything against my grandmother, but she hadn't exactly ever been supportive. The only time these people decided to take initiative was when they were legally forced to.

"I love them," I said. "They're my siblings."

"They're not even your full siblings," Eric said as he clicked a pen.

I didn't reply as he signed his name in an untidy scrawl across the bottom of the document.

"Gran gotta sign, too?" Eric asked.

"Yes, sir," I replied and he moved the paper over to Judith.

"Oh, am I signing for a package, dear?"

"No, we're giving up parental rights," Eric said.

"Oh," she said, scrunching her eyebrows. She looked at me and smiled, then turned to the paper and signed.

That was easier than I thought. I should have knocked on wood.

Tension was at an all-time high until the minute Greg and Claire walked through the door.

"Candy!" They both yelled before attacking me into a hug.

"What are you doing here?" said Greg. As I looked at him, I noticed the yellowing bruise around his left eye.

"Jesus, Greg," I said.

"Oh, that—"

"I told you he's been fighting," Eric said, standing up to put his mug in the sink.

"Oh, it was nothing—"

"You got suspended, boy. I wouldn't call that nothing."

"We'll talk later," I whispered to my brother and he gave me a sad smile.

"You sure you wanna take those hooligans, Candice?"

"Take is where?" Claire asked.

"Your Gran and I are giving up parental rights I guess," Eric said. "Better pack your bags, kids, 'cause you're moving to Tulsa."

"What?" said Greg.

"Are you serious?" Claire shouted.

"Well, yes," I said. "But it won't be immediately. There's still a lot of stuff we need to deal with. I'm going back to Tulsa tomorrow to talk with my lawyer and then we'll have to set up a court date and I'll have to look into schools. I'm not sure how long all of this is going to take. It could be a couple of months, but the sooner the better. At this rate, I'd say you guys will probably finish the school year here and then start high school in Oklahoma."

Claire took a seat beside Gran.

"Wow, this is a lot."

"Are you excited?"

"Yeah, of course." Claire looked at me and I don't know if it was because of what my grandfather had said about her not eating, but her eyes looked so sad and desperate. I just wanted to hold her. I took her hand in mine and gave it a light squeeze.

Glancing back at Greg, I could tell that he was going through hell at the moment, too. My heart sank at the thought of my brother and sister struggling. What was happening to my kids?

'''

I took my siblings out for dinner. We found a little Italian place a little ways away. While we ate, I made sure to keep a subtle eye on Claire. She ate a bit of her food, but she mostly pushed it around her plate in such a way that it made it look like she'd eaten more than she actually had. I watched closely as she did this. She didn't even have to pay any mind to do it; it was like it was as natural to her as breathing. This wasn't new. She'd been doing this for awhile. And she knew how to keep conversation while doing it so as not to raise suspicion.

The girl was genius but in all the wrong ways.

"How's the spaghetti, Claire?" I asked her. She turned from Greg to me and smiled, but I could see right through it. Her usual warm, brown eyes were cool and sad.

"It's good! How's your ravioli?"

"It's good. You wanna try some? It's just cheese and mushroom."

"No thanks. I'm not huge on mushrooms."

"Okay," I said. "How's your pasta, Greg?" Turning to Greg, I saw that his plate was mostly empty, save for a few clumps of sauce leftover.

"It was great. Thanks for taking us to lunch. I was getting sick of bologna."

I shuddered. "I don't blame you."

After surveying my sister for another minute and deciding she wasn't going to eat anymore, I called for the check.

"You want a box?" I asked her.

"Oh, yeah. That's groovy."

"Oh god," I chuckled.

"What?"

"Groovy," I teased.

"I could have said 'far out'," she replied.

I shook my head, laughing. "Well, groovy, then."

I took Greg and Claire home around seven so they could be home before curfew and so I could get plenty of sleep before having to prepare to fly all the way back to Tulsa the next day.

"I wish you didn't have to go. I wish we could leave right now."

"I know," I said. "Me, too. But I'll be back soon. I'm gonna serve these papers to my lawyer and he'll be in contact with the judge for a court date and we'll get this settled. Look forward to this summer."

"Did you and Soda get moved in?" Greg asked.

"Yep! We got everything moved in last weekend, thanks to everyone. We've still got a monstrous amount of boxes to go through and unpack, but otherwise, we're settling in nicely."

"That's good," said Claire.

"Well. You kids get some rest. Greg, stop getting into fights. Claire, please take care of yourself."

"Okay, Mom," Greg teased.

I grinned sheepishly. "I love you guys. You'll be with me soon, alright?"

I pulled the twins into the tightest hug I could manage. It felt foreign, hugging them. It shouldn't have. It should have felt like how you normally hug your siblings. But it was like they were my actual kids. I had raised them. I had dropped out of school at barely sixteen so I could work more to support them. And now I was about to spend every last dime I had to get them back home with me. It was all worth it. I would have gone to the ends of the earth for them.