Thinking about yesterday makes me feel like a lunatic. I also feel reluctant about every thing around me. I don't want to engage to anything today. Even to Apollo's case. That is why, today I sent him to Connor's house. I am sure Apollo is enough fluent in English to find his way by asking the strangers.

It has been nearly a week since I have met him. Apollo is like a house mate to me, now. But it will not last long, because my mother will come back. She will come and I have to give Apollo up. I hope till then he finds his way. He is a grown up man, he can grow beard, but still I feel, I should instruct him through his explicit, sudden life in Berlin. I remember myself when I see him, except I had my mother with me and I definately knew who I was, where I came from, what was my nationality.
Apollo is the vulnerable version of me before many years ago.

Since he isn't around, I lie down and shut my eyes. My mind is louder than my neighbour's dog's barking.

...

My phone is practically screeching into my ear. I open my eyes and search for the source of the noise.

Here we go again... it is a call from Connor.

"What's up?" I say and yawn.
"Apollo."
"Ha ha, funny. What is going on?"
"No, Mil-aya, you have to trust me! Apollo is literally on the roof of the apartment. What should I do?" His voice is shaking.

My mind is not processing enough, but I have to do something for the idiots!

"Hold on! I am on my way. What does he want to do?" As I am talking, I jump out of my bed and wear my jeans. I take my bicycle keys and go downstairs.

...

"Connor, open the door!" I yell. After a few seconds, he appear before the door and opens it. He is as pale as a paper.

"Where is he?" I ask. He points to the roof.
"Why are you here?! Why did you let him alone?" I grab him by his collar but he takes my hands with his own.
"He chose the wrong floor and ended up there. He has locked the door and won't open up."

"Connor! It is my fault! Let's go." I let go of his shirt and run towards the roof's door. I knock a few times and wait.
No response.

"Apollo! Open up." I call. I hope he can hear me, because the weather is really windy and is louder than my voice.

"I tried. He isn't answering." Connor stands behind me.
"Apollo. It is me, Milaya." I say and knock once again.
But he doesn't open.
I sit there before the door and hope that he isn't commiting anything stupid. I hope he isn't going to kill himself. I can't lose him like this. Oh God, please have mercy on us. I don't know why, but I want to cry. Even Connor looks like a dead person.
What should I do?!

"Apollo, please open." Connor yells.
"Did you talk to house keeper?" I ask and put a hand on his shoulder to calm him.
"Yes, but he said it would take thirty minutes, until he arrives here."
Shit!

We both sit there.
After five minutes or so, we hear a clapping voice and them a screeching noise from the metalic door. I turn my head and see Apollo standing there.
But before I can form a word to say, Connor sprints up and grabs Apollo by his shirt, slams him against the wall and slaps him across the face.

"It is enough!" I cry and stand between them. We have enough problem and I don't want them to fight.

"I am sorry." Apollo says and sits down at once.
"Are you ok?"
I look at Connor and back at him.
"No... I remembered somethings." Apollo sighs and rubs his face. His cheeks are red and cold.
"Tell us." Connor kneels before him and puts a hand on his shoulder, making the younger boy to look up. Apollo's eyes are filled with tear.

"It is ok. Let's go downstairs, you take a shower and relax, then we will talk about it. Ok? Come here." I say and hug him. He starts to cry and buries his head in my neck. Connor is glaring, but I can't understand the reason. I guess it isn't important.

"Stand up, you big idiot. Why did you lock the door? I thought I lost you. Don't do that again, ok?" I say.
We go to Connor's place and Apollo goes to take a shower. I lie down on the couch and Connor sits down before me.
He narrows his eyes.

"What?"
"Don't you think it is a but suspicious?"
"What are you talking about?" I pulls myself up on my arms.
"Apollo. I don't know. I don't have a good feeling about this." Connor sighs and leans his head on the couch. I flick his forehead, but he only smirks.
"It is natural that we feel weird. After all, we only know him for a week and he is lost. It is normal to not have a good feeling."
"I guess you are right." He covers his forehead before I can flick him again.
"I am always right." I chuckle.

The door cracks when Apollo comes out of the bathroom, a white towel around his neck and water drops fall from wet strands of golden hair. He is handsome. I look like a soaked cat when I get out of shower.

"Come, sit here. I will make tea for us." Connor leaves and goes to kitchen. Slowly, the watercooker starts to boil the water for the tea.

"I want Citron tea!" I call.
"All right, your majesty."

I turn my attention back to Apollo. He is still sad. I have to help him in a way.
"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I was in a museum, standing before the a statue. I am trying to remember the rest.
I heard a voice." He leans on his hands and covers his face.
"I remember that we were speaking English and the place was very crowded, and I walked out of that museum in a calm street. I saw nobody."
"Milaya, am I insane?" He looks up with blood shot eyes.
"No...no. That-"
"The tea is ready." Connor interrupts me as always. But maybe this time, he has done me a favour, because I have no idea how to council Apollo.
I think, if we have never walked with his shoes, then we cannot understand the severity of his condition, too.
Oh, Apollo...

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10.07.2019