"Hey, come over!" Connor yells.
"Don't be a bitch, you bitch."
I turn on my heels and roll my eyes in the most dramatic way my mom hates me for.

"We were having fun." He smirks and says in a sing-song voice. He reaches a hand out and traces his finger pads over my bare arms, sending shivers and causing goose bumps, not because I like him, but because I fucking hate his shit-faced manner. Connor turns into a horny teenager when he is shit-faced.

"Don't you dare," I start and pull my arm back. His face scrunches but he is thick and stubborn.

"Come on, Mil-aya." He coos in a way he thinks is seductive. I only step back and glare at him.

"Connor, you just called me a bitch, and now you want to play with me. I am leaving." I turn around and take my bag before I storm out.

"Fine! You know what, fuck you!" Connor yells after me.
"You know what, Connor, go fuck your pillow." I yell louder and I know that my face is as red as a clown's nose. I slam the door behind me and stalk off. When I get out of his apartment I hear him howl from his window. Pity, he lives in the 6th floor so I cannot hear him. But instead, without ignoring him, I put a cigarette between my lips and light it, and finally hold a middle finger up.
I cannot see his face completely, but I know he is ruined. Ha!

...

My name is Milaya, not Mil-aya as Connor says. I am a teenager and reputed for being weird. I don't have many friends, because I don't fit their standards.
My best friend is Connor. Although he really enjoys his time with getting shit-faced and tries hard to hit on me, he is just as desperate as any angsty senior teenager can be.

We found each other during a school project and met every day after school. Suddenly we become friends for no specific reason. I guess, he is a loner and I too. So that sums up our history.

Why I like Connor despite him annoying me:
1. He is my only true friend.
2. I am his only true friend.
3. He watches my favourite shows.

...

I get out of the bus and walk towards my own house. The night is dark and for the first time since three years I see a bat!
I think about Batman and Dracula and how their  baby would look like if they were to marry.
Why they call Batman Batman when he wasn't bitten by a bat. They call spiderman spider man because a spider stung him.
Why doesn't Spiderman have eight legs instead of two?

I hear a crack behind me. I pull my pocket knife out and am ready to defend myself if needed. Another crack.

I turn around...

Holy shit! A naked man is standing behind me!
What should I do? He is looking at me like he has seen a human for the first time. He is a psycho!

"Back off, wanker!"
"What is a wanker?" He tilts his head. Maybe he is a foreigner. A mop of golden hair is shadowing over his chiselled face.

"Stay away." I say in English and walk away. He seems not to understand me and follows me.

"Stay away I said!" I show him my knife. He holds his hands up.
"Ok, ok! Just tell me where I am!" He cries and sits on his knees.
Maybe he is lost.
"You are in hell and I am the Satan." I laugh and am waiting for him to laugh too, but he only stares at me like a lost child. He is lost.
"Ok, you are in Berlin."
"Where is Berlin?" He must be high.
"In my pocket!" I walk faster and get inside my house before I lock the door.
I look down from my window and see him standing butt naked like a statue.

Maybe he really needs my help. I look down once again and see him sitting on the pavement. What is a (good looking) young man like him doing with his life? Again, my generation is reputed for wasting their youth.

I hate to say it, but he looks really confused and in need of help.
I unlock the door and open it. He turns his face and looks at me with that expression again.

I throw a pair of Connor's PJs to him.
"Brace yourself."
He nods and starts to wear them.
"Are you lost?" I ask.
"I don't know."
"Where are you from?"
"I don't remember."
"What is your name?"
"I..." say it! "I can't remember." Bitch!
"Are you high?" I lean on my door frame.
"I am low, because I am sitting. But you're high." He says very seriously which makes it even more funny.

"Listen, just because I am a nice person and I don't want you to get a butt-frostbite, I will let you in. If you try to do something out of manner, I will hand you your guts." I warn him. He looks afraid. Good.
"Ok?" I smile.
"Ok" He says.
I let him in and he is gawking already. What type of drug makes a person look this sober and act like this?

Although I hate to call Connor after our fight, I cannot stay alone with a weirdo. So I call him.

And... he doesn't pick.

Shit.

The stranger scans everywhere. Maybe he is searching for a beer. Luckily I don't drink at home! But he appears so innocent and real. As if he is looking at something for the first time.

"You can sit." I say. He obeys like a good child.
"You need to sleep. Perhaps you can remember things when you're sober."
He only looks at me like a deer in the head lights.
We don't speak for a long awkward moment until I yawn and decide to sleep my problems away.
"Good night." I say, walk to my room and lock the door.

Connor, you bastard answer me!

========
1st version: 13.06.2019