It was the smelliest cat I had ever met. The cat that smelled like a cat that had rolled in dirt from the dirtplace, bathed in mud, had badger scent mixed with fox scent, and was then cleaned by a dog whose breath smelled like old moss with an elder's fart scent stuck in it for two moons.

Don't believe me? Go take a whiff of Smellypelt, the cat who lives at Twolegplace with that weird cat with one eye and other weird cats. I think the one eye cat is named Fly or something.

But Smellypelt was by far the weirdest of the weird. Or rather, the smelliest of the smellies.

Smellypelt is actually named Tiger, but either way, he's still smelly. I found him in the worst of ways: I was looking for prey while hunting on my warriors assessment, which I haven't passed yet.

I sought out the best-smelling prey...or what I thought was the best-smelling. My mentor, Hawkwing, was watching my assessment and he should be glad he was far away from me.

I could smell Tiger from where I was, not far from GorseClan's camp, but I didn't know that he was a cat. If I did, I might have alerted Hawkwing of an intruder.

Instead, I followed the trail of stench and found Tiger outside of our border by Twolegplace, rolling in dirt. His own dirt.

When I found him, I coughed and covered my muzzle with my paw while sitting down. Tiger looked up at me, his dirty ginger head facing me. He let out a mrrow of laughter and rolled over to his belly, looking at me in an amused way.

"You have to be the smelliest cat I have ever smelled!" I meowed under my paw.

Tiger simply purred and meowed back, "I try my best to beat the rest." Then he added, "I'm Tiger. What are you doing over here by my rest area?"

"What's a rest area?" I asked, still under my paw.

"It's where I mark my territory and poo, what's different with you?" Tiger meowed in an odd voice.

"We call them dirtplaces. That's where we make dirt." I explained, not amused by his weird meows.

"You mean poo? Pooplaces? That's the funniest thing I've ever heard! Cats 'making dirt'! Dirtplaces! Do you make rocks as well?" the kittypet mewed.

"No, they make cats like you into mouse-meat." I snarled, lashing my tail.

"What's the use of mouse-meat? It's too small to be eaten! Are you a mouse?" His replies were irritating me.

"I'm Mousepaw, but I'm not a mouse!" I retorted.

"Mousepaw? Do mice have paws? What are you?" Smellypelt purred.

That was it. I hissed and turned to leave. The dirty kittypet called after me, "Don't forget to wash your paws, Mousepaw cat!"