Harry bites his tongue. Most of the time, he's good at that. He has spent a lifetime with the Durselys ducking his head and pretending he doesn't exist. He snaps sometimes. He'll admit it. He's human, after all, and when he snaps, he snaps hard -- it has earned him bruised ribs and fractured bones with the Durselys, and at Hogwarts, it's earned him, apparently, minus one hundred and fifty House points and a month's detention with Dolores Umbridge herself.

But that's only every once of a while, when he is feeling particularly detached from both his morality and his sanity. Most of the time, he's fine. He is a Gryffindor, a good Gryffindor, but he was almost Sorted into Slytherin for a reason; he knows when to take a hit.

Now, right now, with Dolores Umbridge sitting at the opposite end of the table, grading papers, he's not sure what part of him is going to win. The Lion or the Snake.

On one hand, she'd deserve anything he'd do to her, and it'd be worth even a temporary suspension from Hogwarts. That's how much he hates her.

But... on the other, it is as Tom said; he should've controlled himself. It's Harry's own fault that he's in this situation.

Harry winces again, involuntarily and abashedly, as blood trickles down his hand in a near gush onto the tabletop. He hopes viciously that it stains.

She tuts once, drawing Harry's attention. He pauses in writing and she raises an eyebrow, unimpressed. She takes his hand, his bleeding on, and turns it over, examining her handiwork. "Very good," she purrs. Harry holds back a sigh of relief, because... "But I think it can be done better," she continues, "A little while longer couldn't hurt, don't you think?" Yup. Of course. There it is.

She's a monster. Harry wants Voldemort killed, but he wants this woman tortured.

And she's not an ordinary monster, not a monster like Voldemort is or like Malfoy pretends to be. She's a monster like what Harry is starting to suspect Potter and Tom are.

They pretend to be kind, be friendly, but there is a certain silver to their tongue that cannot be trusted. It's hard to believe Potter was ever a Gryffindor, the way that all three of them are overtly Slytherin.

In the case of Potter and Tom... Harry is not sure what to do. Thoughts of Tom telling him it's his fault that Umbridge is hurting him are harshly contrasted by Tom holding him close and wiping away his tears. Potter basically telling him to kill himself is wiped away by the image of Potter telling him to eat more in the Great Hall, he's far too thin and needs to build his strength and besides, Potter's worried.

These two men love him and hate him, or at least act like it. They are driving Harry mad. But they are also Harry's best friends, and like Potter said, they're all Harry has.

So. He is not sure what to do. He is to keep writing, he supposes.

He looks at his hand as the words are carved into it again.

There are two lines on it, one above the other. I must not tell lies, of course. And the newly added one, upon receiving this round of detention, I must not react adversely to the truth. It's insulting, this new wound, and not only for the fact of its existence.

She obviously believes the rumours of him being gay, and she obviously looks down upon him for it. After all, why should he be upset at something that is the truth. It's almost like it's something to be ashamed of, hm?

Harry hates her guts.

And, upon being assigned a fucking month's worth of detention (he still can't get over that), Dumbledore. He hates Dumbledore.

Harry thinks that Dumbledore is not an idiot. He notices -- he must notice -- the way she has wormed her way into Hogwarts like an infectious disease, like a plain out parasite. She's trying to change things. Spread a Ministry approved version of reality, and that includes denying Voldemort's return (something eternally stupid to allow in his school) and torturing Harry Potter.

And maybe, okay, maybe he doesn't know what happens in these detentions. But to stick Umbridge on him for a month? To even risk it? Dumbledore is not stupid.

And if he is not stupid, then perhaps he's just cruel.

Perhaps he is willing and wanting to punish him for hurting Sybill. He has been avoiding Harry's eye, his presence, and everything to do with him since Voldmeort's return. Certainly, taking revenge on his prized Professor is not only not a way to earn his favor, but a solid way to solidify his belief.

Harry Potter is evil, or somehow untrustworthy or unworthy. Harry Potter is physically violent is response so mere rumors (though Harry would not describe them that way.) Harry Potter is proven to be evil. Amen.

And Harry is deeply hurt. It sucks to say it, but it's true. He valued Albus as some sort of mix between a mentor and a grandfather and then Voldemort returns, everyone hates him, no one believes him, and he has only a trashed diary for comfort... and Dumbledore is not there.

If he is evil, if what he is is evil now, then who's fault is it? He is bad and wrong, or is he alone? When you run out of friends, you will turn to your enemies.

And sometimes, he thinks, staring at Dolores Umbridge, you become just like them.

And as his hand reaches for his wand, his mind is assaulted. Images flash him by, rapidly and painfully. Not just any picture, but a vision, and something vivid and real and holy fuck it hurts. Harry cries out in pain, hand coming up to grasp at his scar, blood splattering everywhere in his haste, Umbridge suddenly a secondary concern.

One thing is clear, even if nothing else is: Arthur Weasley is in danger.