Listen to the song lovelies.... 😘😍

Also thank you for 20 reads on the chapter before and 200 reads on the first chapter! It's crazy to think that 200 people had been to that page!

Chapter ~ 13

It was six in the evening and for Anuthi it was the end of the day. Meaning the end of the time her body clock decided that its best if she not study.

It was dark. It was dark outside.
Her room had its lights turned off. The cold winds that were a harbinger of "Buk Maha Akunu" {the special name given for April rains as they are thunderous} was blowing the creamy curtains of her room and Anuthi could see the ashy sky through the open window. The dark clouds rolling faster and faster every single second after being threatened by the constant growling of the sky.

Anuthi sat on her cold bed with her arms wrapped around her folded legs.

She was feeling hot.
Not the sexy kinda hot. But the sad kinda one. Hot unsteady breath of hers' fanned against her lower lips that were trying to not to quiver as best as they could. She tried to suppress it and succeeded. But two seconds later the depressed girl let out a loud sob.

That shouldn't have happened. That coincident. This should not be happening. Not at this very moment. Thinking so Anuthi tilted her head backwards and rested it against the cold wall. As as soon as she did hot tears streamed down from the sides of her eyes on to the dusty smelling bed sheets of hers.

The wind was getting stronger and stronger with every passing second and her beige curtains that were blowing in the wind wiped against her face as soon as she straightened it to grab a corner of her bedsheets that was drenched in her sweat, to wipe her renewing tears.

The heartbroken girl walked to her desk to drink some water and somehow managed not to choke on it with the incoming sobs that she struggled to sweep away.

The hot tears streamed down upon the cold surface of the sticky skin that belonged to a despondent girl that was heartbroken over a love that was even confessed.

It was a subtle crush that she wanted to fade away. But feelings came rushing in and it was hard to keep them at the bay.

As her flooded eyes started to break the dam and overflow and she happened to gasp for air from time to time Anuthi knew what was coming. What happened monthly had become something weekly now and the last thing she wanted on earth was that to not to turn in to something daily.
As it was something that drained her energy.

From the beforehand experiences she knew panic attacks were not fun.
And they always came her way when she felt like she was done with her life.

Going back to her bed Anuthi took the comforting pillow and began crying like there was no tomorrow. At first, the silent tears flooded her eyes and blurred her vision and after a few minutes, after a few sobs, she was not finished.

The thunder cracked the sky and she could hear the rain raining on the roof in a rueful rhythm.

Anuthi felt sad and remorseful. She wished she never sent that message to offend Yohan and his friends. She regretted sending that message. Repented joining that group even.

She wished she never did so in the first place while she cried hard as the cold winds of the April rain engulfed her.

She cried until her eyes felt raw and her lips started to sting from her biting them. She felt as if her cheeks were about to either bleed or burst.

Even though the bitten ends of her short nails dug into the flesh of her legs at the moment she was numb to the pain.
Because she felt like living a life like that was in vain.

___________________________________

Anuthi stared into the darkness around her listening to the sound of the rain and letting it soothe her mind as it was as same as a blissful meditation for her.

And then she reflected on what made her cry. Yohan's voice message.

But why!
Why would she do that?

Anuthi began thinking.

Was it guilt? Shame?
Embarrassment?
Or is it fear?

But fear of what?
Rejection?

Shouldn't she be happy and contended that Yohan had acknowledged that something wrong had happened?

Shouldn't she be happy that he had apologised?

That would solve the problem, right?

After fifteen minutes or so her panic attack slowly faded away.
And after replaying Yohan's voice message a few times Anuthi decided that the idea of a new group sounded okay.

And as soon as she was about to send a reply she heard the familiar "beep" of her mothers' car. There may be an ongoing pandemic in Sri Lanka and the world that led to lockdowns from time to time but Anuthi's mother went shopping as soon as it was lifted.

Anuthi ran into the bathroom and poured a good amount of face wash on to the palm of her hand and slathered it quickly on her face that looked fed up thanks to the crying.

Her mother was letting the neighbours know about her daughter's inability to be efficient and quick by the unstoppable "beeping" of her car.

Anuthi knew she was almost at the doorstep of hearing an earful from her mom. So she ran to the gate wishing she did not spend time sending a voice message back to Yohan.

A voice message that said,
"Okay Whatever".

👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

Guys, it's raining outside as I'm writing this and it's the month Buk {April} and that's exactly what's happening in the story. 🙊🙈

Vote and comment if you doted on what I wrote!

Dedicated to ProfileMentalHealth