"All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all"

**unedited**

The meet ended around 7 o'clock, since I stayed behind to cheer on Sam and others in their races.  I ended up receiving a gold medal in that race, and some news reporter took photos for the Tokyo Newspaper.  I forced myself to bear a spurious smile while a billion flashes attacked me.  The crowd had increased in the last few minutes, and now it seemed noisier than ever.  Alyssa and I had talked in between races about the mistakes I'd made, and I couldn't stop apologizing.

"You can stop now," she said.  "Really, I accept your apology.  But don't think that you can do everything alone, y'know?"

"It's not that," I replied.  "I've dealt with everything by myself for a long time now, and I never planned on asking others for help.  It just meddles with their lives and makes it more complicated for everyone to handle."  She placed her hand on my lap and shook her head.

"You know you're part of a team, right?"  Her lengthy brown hair fell over her eyes and her mouth curved up into a smile.  "You're never alone when you're on a team.  After all, there's no 'I' in team."  I chuckled and set my hand on hers, squeezing it.

"Thank you.  Seriously, thank you so much."  She  and turned her head to see Sam hopping out of the pool, looking profoundly exhausted.

"Coach!  Did you see that?  I passed the prelims!"  He cried.  She embraced him and his eyes locked with mine.  I tried to avert mine, but he pulled me in for a group hug.  "Haru, how are you feeling?"

"Better," I answered, my stomach still on the queasy side.  "Sam, I'm really sorry too.  I didn't mean what I said back there to you, I was really messed up, and-"

"It's okay, really," he interrupted.  "You had a lot going on, and it's all solved right?"  I nodded, but I knew it wasn't.  Rin's going to kill me.  "I'm glad you're alright now, Haru."  He glanced off into the distance and suddenly, his eyes widened with excitement.  "Hey!  It's my parents!  They came!"  He darted off and Alyssa sighed.  

"Everything is solved right?"  She asked again.  I flinched and rubbed the back of my head, nervously.  "Obviously not.  What else do you have to fix?"

"Well. . ." I began.  

"Spit it out," she barked.  

"Why do you care anyways?"  Alyssa quickly quieted down, pulling her hand off of my lap.  "No, wait I didn't mean it like that!  I'm sorry. . . sorry."

"You really need to think before you speak."  I stared at the floor, embarrassed, as the silence engulfed us.  "I care because you're on the team.  My team.  It's not just physical health that matters in sports; your well-being matters as well."  She was quiet for a moment and then she stole a look at me, her eyes filled with sorrow.  "Have you ever felt like you were trapped?"

"Trapped?"  I asked, confused.

"Pressured, more like it.  Everyone wants you to do something and you don't want to, and you just want to take your time on it and put it off until you know you're fucked."  I swallowed the massive lump in the my throat and felt myself sweating.  Idiot, you know that feeling.  You damn well know what that feels like.

So why was my tongue glued to the roof of my mouth?

"I think," was my answer.  Her voice dropped to a hush and she sighed.  "Is something wrong?"

"There wouldn't be any point in telling you if you couldn't relate, right?"  I wanted to scream out that I did know, but I hadn't been able to talk about that day since it happened.  Not even Makoto had dared to bring it up.

"Yeah, I guess not."  She did another one of her sighs, and stood up to greet one of the swimmers after his race.  But this time I caught myself blurting out, "Wait!"  She pivoted her footsteps and her eyes met mine.

"What is it?"

I clenched my fists and exhaled a long and suppressed breath.  "I have."

"You have?"

"I've felt that way before."  It was like the entire arena had stopped whatever they were doing  and were now fixated on what I had to say.  I gulped and stuck my hands under my legs, nervous as fuck.  "I haven't been able to talk about it, but there was a time where I stopped in the middle of one of the most important races of my life."  Alyssa didn't say anything, but she was listening; she had planted her stare on me.

"It was around the time before I graduated and I didn't know what to do with my life.  Of course, everyone was telling me to pursue swimming and become an athlete.  One of my friends, Rin, had his life set on being an Olympic swimmer, and I wasn't certain if that was what I wanted."  I paused and took another deep breath.  "So I put it off.  Every time someone asked me about my future, I ignored them and I pushed them away.  I didn't want people bothering me about my career, because it was my own decision; so why did I have to let others choose it for me?"

"Haru. . ." Alyssa began, her voice sounding so distant.

"And then one day, at our regionals race, I stopped.  I was swimming freestyle, and I just stopped.  Everyone kept saying that scouts were watching, that I had to do good for them, that this race would determine my future."  I felt my voice tremble as I spoke, and my head felt heavy.  "I ended up screaming at Rin and a couple days later, I had a fight with Makoto."  Before I knew it, I felt a tear slide down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away.  "Sorry, I haven't talked about this to anyone bef-"

Alyssa pulled me and hugged me.  She squeezed my back and laid her head on my shoulder.  I sensed faint tears drop on my jacket, so I wrapped my arms around her as well.  "Y-you don't have to do this alone, Haru!"  She blubbered, her voice raspy with sobs.

"Alyssa, it's okay, I'm okay now really I-"

"No!"  She cried, locking her arms tighter.  "I know it's hard for someone to talk about their past and the mistakes they've made but I promise you, one-hundred percent, that I'm here for you."  She smiled through the empathy of her words.  "I will always be here for you to listen to you."

"God, thank you," I gushed.  "Really, thank you."  She laughed and wiped her tears with the sleeve of her sports jacket.  Sticking my hands into my pocket, I found a handkerchief and offered it to her.  "Don't use that, it looks expensive."  She chuckled to herself and carefully dabbed her face. 

"Why would you hold it in that long?"  She asked, laying it back into my palms.  I shrugged, taking a sip of my water bottle.  "I mean, it's understandable, but you have friends who would listen don't you?"  She raised an eyebrow and nudged me, suggestively motioning to Makoto up in the stands.  Thankfully, he was talking to another spectator.

"Well, yeah?  I don't know, I just didn't want to talk about it.  It happened and it was over."  

"Got any plans after the meet?"  She spoke.  "Wait, are you going back to the festival?"  

"Not sure," I responded.  "I think they'll have another round of the fireworks since Makoto wouldn't shut up about seeing that."

"Oh, so you don't want to see the fireworks?"  She concluded.  "I hear they're pretty huge here, especially around Christmas time."

"It's not that,"  I retorted.  "It's just. . . I dunno. . . what's so special about it?"

"Come on!"  She groaned.  "You ditched the beginning of the meet to tell your boyfriend that you couldn't make it to the festival and you don't even know how good the fireworks are?"  I shook my head, my face red from calling Makoto my "boyfriend." and she exhaled.  "It's supposed to be like a good luck fortune.  So if you and Makoto go together, apparently you'll be blessed with happiness in your relationship."

"Is that so. . ." I pondered.  "Now that you mention it, it would seem fun."

"What are you guys gonna do after that?"  She marveled, nudging me again.

"Don't get any funky ideas," I replied, shoving her aside.  "I'm not like that."

"Aw, I was kidding!"  She teased.  "Seriously, Haru, you're a mystery, y'know that?"

"I've heard worse," I said, rolling my eyes.  She started towards the locker room and shouted, "It's 7:15 PM and I think the next round of fireworks are at 7:45 PM."  She winked at me and tossed me a towel.  "Make use of that time, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah," I vowed.  "Will do."  She disappeared into the locker room and I sat on the nearby benches, the towel draped over my head, and my water bottle beside me.

It was over.

Tipping my head back, I caught a glimpse of Makoto strolling over towards me.

"Great job today!" He exclaimed, planting himself next to me. "You were really amazing, and let me see that medal!"  I took it out of my jacket pocket and flashed it to him.  It looked like pure gold, the shine reflecting on the bench.  "Wow. . . it's so beautiful."  He picked it up and motioned me to lean my head down.

"You don't have to," I whined.

"Oh yes I do," he reasoned.  He placed it on my neck and I looked back up.  "Oh my God you look so great!"  

"You sound like a little girl," I smirked.

"Ha-ha," he said sarcastically.  "But really, you look like a real pro-swimmer!"

"T-thanks," I replied, moving my hand over my face.  It wasn't like I was blushing, but I felt my face heat up.  "Thanks for coming. Rin's probably pissed, though." He laughed to himself and slung his arm over my neck, pulling me closer.

"We can head back, and maybe they'll have another round of fireworks," he suggested.  I cringed, my chest tightening.  "You do want to go to the festival, right?"

"Yes, of course, but your face is, like, three inches from mine."

"We can make it three inches, if that's what you want," he whispered.  I recoiled and he laughed, a smile forming on his lips.  "I'm just kidding, Haru!"

"You should make the sarcasm more obvious then," I noted.

"So you didn't want our faces to be three inches apart?"

"No, that's not what I meant I-"

"How about two inches?"

"Makoto."  I was blushing now, and he knew that talking about this made me wince, not with pain, but uncertainty.  

"Sorry, sorry, my bad.  So about the fireworks?  Do you know if there will be another showing?" 

"Alyssa said something like that, actually," I mentioned.  "Apparently, there's supposed to be one at 7:45."  I checked my watch and it read 7:22.  "We've got some time, but I doubt we'll make it."

"Hurry and get changed!"  He rushed, pushing me towards the locker room.  "I want to see them!"  

"Woah, Makoto hold up," I started.  "Is it because of the good luck fortune?"  He raised his eyebrows, confused.  

"What fortune?"

"Never mind." 

"I saw you two talking, and you looked kind of upset.  You alright?"  I glanced him and nodded, smiling a classic smile.

"Why wouldn't I be?  I've got you here and this magnificent medal that's all mine.  And I've got a whole Olympic career ahead of me."  I flinched, and quickly clasped my hand over my mouth.  Shit, I didn't mean to say it like that.  

"Aw, Haru," Makoto cooed.  "I'm really happy for you."  Then he gave me a long stare, in which the right corner of his mouth lifted up into a smile.   

"What is it?" I asked.

"Merry almost Christmas," he said, kissing my cheek. I turned my head, frankly embarrassed and he laughed.

"Merry almost Christmas to you too."  I studied his face, and he wouldn't stop beaming at me.  "W-what?"  I sputtered.  

"Nothing, nothing.  Now go get changed!  We can still get to Ueno Park for the fireworks."

I rolled my eyes and pushed open the door to the locker room.  My nose filled with the stench of chlorine, and I spun the combination on my lock, shoving my jacket in there.  What would we do at the festival?  Just watch the fireworks and go home?  

I pulled a blue-striped T-shirt over my head and slipped on a pair of jeans.  Wrapping a scarf around my neck, I stepped into my shoes.  They were the color of tree bark and they seemed to be a mix between a boot and a loafer.  

"Haru?  Are you ready yet?"  Makoto called, pounding on the opposite door entrance.  I sighed and hollered back, "Almost!  Hang on!"  I shoved my hand into my bag, grabbing my comb.  Since I didn't have any time to shower, my bangs were practically in my eyes.  I ran it through the strands, brushing it back.  It was pushed up, like I'd smeared gel all over it to look like some sort of model.

Looks good enough.

"Come on," I declared, hurrying out.  Makoto trailed behind, frantically trying to keep up with my pace.

"Hang on!"  He panted.  "What did you do with your hair?" 

"N-nothing!"  I blurted, promptly running my fingers through it.   

"You did it."  

"Did what?"  I argued.  "I didn't do anything, God, I just combed it.  Now come on!"  I grabbed his hand, immediately regretted it, but didn't let go.

"You did it for me, didn't you?"  He jested, a smile plastered on his face.  When is he not smiling?  

"No one said anything like that," I shot back.  "Are we going or not?"  He laughed, his lips forming a thin, rosy line.  

"Yes, yes."  I hadn't noticed, but I was still tightly gripping his hand in my own.  "Aren't you going to lead me?"

"We could just go home," I suggested.  "It's 7:32."

"Haru."

"Let's just go home, I don't think we'll make it."  He scowled at me.  Suddenly, he began taking massive strides ahead, causing me to be dragged behind him.  "W-wait Makoto!  Slow down, Jesus Christ!"

"We are going to the fireworks, and we're going to enjoy every second of it because I came all the way here for you," he proclaimed, not even turning around.  I was baffled, and I didn't use that word very often, but this was the perfect opportunity.

"I love you Haru, and I promise I'll make this a night you won't forget."  And as he lead me onto the snowy streets that Christmas Eve, I couldn't help but smile.  I didn't want to show any affection, but I was dazed.  I took a deep breath in and exhaled, this time as long as I possibly could.  Here and now, we were going to watch our lives unfold before us.  We were going to watch an unforgettable nightfall unravel.

We were going watch it begin again.

GOD I KEEP DOING THIS AHAHHAHAA I love the fluff and the cuteness!! AHHHHHH ARE YOU ALL SCREAMING BECAUSE I UPDATED I KNOW I AM WAHHHHH MONTY UPDATED EVERYONE SCREAM FOR ME SCREAM BECAUSE THIS CHAPTER IS LIKE 2.5K words AHAHAHH

So basically, summer ends on Thursday for me.  I'll be a freshman, and I joined cross country, track, marching band, and I'm hoping to join a lot more clubs and activities as well as balance my honors classes.  I want you guys to be happy too!! Therefore, I updated just before school starts so that you guys don't all kill me for not updating lmao

How did you guys like this chapter?  I want Alyssa to be a big part of the story and I hope you don't mind that she hugged Haru.  HARU IS INFINITELY GAY OKAY WE HAVE CONFIRMED THAT Alyssa is like the best friend in this story that isn't Rin y'know??  Someone he can turn to??  

I didn't want to bring up the fiasco that was episode 9 from season 2, but I just HAD to since Alyssa didn't know about it, and it seemed appropriate, because she was talking about tough times.  IM SORRY TO PUT YOU THROUGH THE HELL tbh I was going back and watching some of my favorite episodes of Free! and I can't seem to watch that episode.  I crY SO HARD WHENEVER I WATCH IT lolololol #lamemonty

I also added some unnecessary dialogue in this chapter with Makoto (trying) to be kind of funny in a myriad of ways.  But it was good right?? I don't know about you guys, but I don't want this story to end!! I WANT MAKOHARU IN TOKYO FOREVER WAHHHH

but all good things must come to an end rip

Leave a comment below of your overview of the chapter and please don't forget to vote!! This story has received SO SO many comments when I wasn't updating, so I JUST HAD TO update it!! I love you all so very much and thank you for reading!!

Stay Tuned!!

-Monty