It's been a few days since I've met JJ. He is a spunky little kid and I absolutely love it. I had so much fun in the backyard playing with him. He kept asking me to chase him. I would run after him, grab him, put him upside down and tickle him. It was fun the first 3 times I did it, but then it got a little tiring. I kept doing it though, because it was what the little guy wanted. I would do whatever that kid asks.

I haven't seen him since, but Sarah unblocked my number so that I could call him.

"DAVID!" JJ yells when I answer the FaceTime call.

"Hey, buddy!" I say with a smile.

"Mommy said you my friend." He says proudly, "just like daddy."

"You're daddy was a great friend, so I know you will be too!"

"What you doing?" He asks me. This kid is just too cute.

Before I answer he changed the subject, "ooo look at this!" He says grabbing the phone and running around the house, not showing me anything in particular.

"That's cool buddy, but I don't know what you're trying to show me." I say laughing.

"Can you come to my house?" He asks me.

"We would have to ask your mom about that." I say.

"We'll talk about that later." I hear Sarah say in the background. "Sorry to cut it short, but it's bedtime."

"Night, David!" JJ says before hanging up.

The silence is deafening. I am by myself yet again.

I pour myself a drink to go with supper. My phone dings telling me I have a text message.

Sarah: I'll check in this weekend about possibly setting up a play date, just give me time to think about it.

I really hope I can see them this weekend.

:::

We made it to the beach. My uncle luckily is letting us use his speed boat for the weekend. He has a lake house close by so he's going to go out on the lake with us since neither one of us have drove a speedboat before. I'm sure it wouldn't be that hard to drive it, but if someone else knows how, I'm going to let them do it.

James and I pull up to my uncle's house, where we are also staying, and start unloading the car.

Our plan is to eat lunch and then go out on the boat.

We enter in the house and my uncle is laying on the couch.

"Hey, boys." He says not sounding too good, "I'm not feeling the best so I won't be able to go out with you guys today. But, I can talk you two through how to
drive it, you don't need a boating license here."

After eating lunch and a mini talk through of how to drive the boat, James and I make our way to the dock.

While I load the boat with a cooler filled with snacks and drinks, James couldn't help but call Sarah.

"Get off the phone, James!" I yell at him. "This is your last weekend of freedom!"

He doesn't respond, but I know he heard me because I could see an uncomfortable laugh coming from him. 

I sit down on the boat and pour myself a cup of rum and coke while I wait.

I have no idea what on earth they are talking about that it's taking so long. I've already finished my drink.

I begin to pour myself another drink.

"You're driving the boat, you should keep a clear head." James says taking my drink from me before I can take a drink. "Sorry about that, last minute wedding stuff. Caterer issue. It's solved now."

I nod my head because I have nothing to say about the subject, I don't know anything about that.

"She wasn't feeling well either, she gets kind of needy when that happens." He tells me, but I know he loves it when she's like that.

I like Sarah. She doesn't like me, I didn't give off a first impression. But we have the rest of our lives to be friends.

I start the boat and make our way out into the lake.

We've been taking turns driving the boat and tubing. We try and see who will can stay on longest.

We have been out on the lake for a few hours. We've both had a few drinks, but we're trying our best to stay responsible.

We decided we were going to tube one more time before heading to shore.

James is on the tube as I speed up. I look back to make sure he is secure before I turn.

When I look back I see a boat approaching us from behind and they aren't paying attention.

To avoid an accident I veer off to the right. I wail the horn to try and get their attention. I look back and see that they are going too fast. They're going to hit us.

Then everything happened in slow motion.

The other boat hits the side of ours and the force from the two boats connecting, causes James to be thrown from the tube into some rocks nearby.

The boat is still functioning so I speed up and to get James. He's badly bruised, but still conscious. I quickly load him onto the boat and speed back to shore.

I call 911 and we wait for the authorities.

After we are rushed to the hospital I had to give a statement and take a breathalyzer. I was at a 0.07. The legal limit is 0.08, but I felt fine.

I blame myself. I was the reason we were on the boat, we could have easily done something else, but I insisted.

:::

It's Friday night and I haven't heard from Sarah about meeting up with JJ. I'm hurt.

I take out my phone and dial the number I have memorized. No answer. Her voice message is so welcoming.

"You didn't answer." I slur, "knowing you, you're probably screening my calls."

I move my hand to pick up my cup, it's empty. I thought I just filled it.

"I mean how many times do I have to say sorry?" I say pouring another drink. "I know you think it's my fault, but it could have happened to anyone. I was under the legal limit, it had nothing to do with drinking."

She doesn't respond.

"I know I shouldn't have driven a boat I had never driven before, but we all agreed  it would be okay." I say trying to explain the situation again. "You know that the investigation proved it was the other boat's fault. I did what I needed to avoid further collision." I have said this a million times. "Of course, they said a more experienced driver would have handled it differently... and I probably shouldn't have drank..." I say battling myself.

"Don't you think I blame myself enough?!" I say with anger, "I don't need you blaming me too!"

I take a chug my drink and cringe, it's strong, but I don't care.

"I have tried everything!" I yell into the phone, "what do I need to do? Please just tell me!" I plead.

Nothing.

"Why won't you answer me?!" I scream as I throw my glass across the room in irritation and it shatters against the wall.

You have reached the maximum limit for your message.

Fuck. I forgot it was a message. I hang up, I need to try again.

I dial her number. Straight to voicemail.

"Sarah." I say defeated, tears coming from my eyes, "please you need to forgive me."

I take the rum I was drinking and take a pull from the bottle.

"He told me to be there for you." I say my words garbled, "there is so much I have to say to you..."

:::

I wake up to pounding on my door. I'm in my bed, I have no idea how I got here. What happened last night?

The pounding continues.

I make my way out into the living room and open the front door.

Before I can even say anything, Sarah comes charging in, clearly pissed off.

She looks around and takes in the state of my apartment. I didn't know it was this bad. I had broken glass on the floor, empty coke cans everywhere, empty rum bottles and it reeked of alcohol.

"I have a little boy that is super excited that you're in his life and you do this?" She yells wailing her arms around to reference the mess I have.

"What do you mean?" I say while rubbing my forehead, definitely not prepared for her wrath.

"What do I mean?!" She yells louder.

I flinch at the sound and how it makes my head ache even more than it already does.

"Oh, I'm sorry, am I being too loud?" She says satirically. "Probably not the best way to speak to someone with a hangover, but I don't care."

She looks around and starts cleaning up the place. Something she must do when she's upset.

"So I am guessing you don't remember anything from last night?" She asks me while she is picking up the empty bottles.

"I obviously drank a little, it's no big deal." I shrug her off.

"No big deal?!" She scoffs. "It's a big deal when you drink so much you don't remember. You called me last night and left me some lovely messages." She says sarcastically through her anger.

"Fuck." I say pulling out my phone and looking at my call logs. "I'm so sorry, Sarah." I plead. "I don't know what I said, but I didn't mean it, I was just thinking about James and I was upset I hadn't heard from you about hanging out with JJ this weekend."

"I'm not letting you around him if this continues." She says trying to remain calm. "You have been back in my life a week and last night just proves that you're still as dependent on alcohol as you were before." She says becoming angrier as she speaks.

"I'm not dependent on alcohol." I try and defend. I don't have a problem. It's not like I crave it or anything.

She doesn't believe me. "You can't turn to drinking every time something bad happens." She tries to appeal to me.  "Why do you think I blocked your number to begin with? I was tired of the drunk calls." I look at her confused.

She notices, "you probably didn't even know."

"Why didn't you say anything?" I asked shocked.

"I did." She retorts. "You were always too drunk to remember."

She finishes cleaning up. She has calmed down dramatically.

She takes a deep breath, "if you're coming to his party, you will not be allowed to drink."

I nod.

"David, you really need to figure this out." She says almost like she is worried about me.

"I didn't know you cared." I say questioning.

"James would have." She says softly without looking at me. "No more drunk calls, David." She says looking at me. "I mean it, I told you not to make me regret it. If I get more messages like I did last night, I don't think..." she doesn't finish.

"I will try my best. I'm sorry." I say. She smiles at me softly and then leaves.

:::

💭 Thoughts?

🧐 Predictions?

The truth is out! What do we think?
Any questions you still have? My friends read this and they told me they felt really bad for David! So much more will be revealed!

Next chapter, JJ turns 3, yay!

Thank you for reading,

~Wendy