Avengers brought to you by my new obsession with them😍

TRIGGER WARNING!!!!!!

John's pov

"I went through hell with you"

I wanted to run right then and there. I regret what I said as soon as it left my mouth. What even brought me to say that anyways? Why didn't I just keep my mouth closed. It'll be better for everyone that way(a/n I felt that johnny) god I'm so stupid.

(John's mind/ John answering back.)

"look what you did asshat, you just ruined any chance you had of making Alex and your friends ever care about you again. Good job"

"yeah I know don't need to remind me.."

"You don't learn do you? Dumb ass."

"yeah I deserve that one."

"damn straight. Tell him your sorry what the hell are you waiting for? Him to beat the shit out of you first?'

"yea,  yea you're right."

(internal talking over)

"I'm sorry-" I start before I'm cut off immediately

"I know." Alex answers back coolly.

"w-what?" I stutter out, how could he possibly know? I made sure he thought I was the happiest. And well it wasn't a complete lie, he did make me happy on occasion.

"I know you weren't happy. You could see it, I just couldn't bring myself to believe it. Dammit John I was an idiot and thought all you needed was me to be happy I was clearly wrong..I'm so sorry" Alex says tears already fighting their way to the surface.

"I'm sorry.." I try again. What else was I suppose to say?  There was nothing my mind could form that would help the situation. I missed everything we had, and our friends. I didn't miss the fights and the times it felt like I was fighting with a wall, or I was backed into a small container holding me there until I screamed and scratched for freedom, my fingers bleeding from the struggle. Or when I was constantly walking on eggshells hoping Alex was in a good mood today, but most of all, I didn't miss the cutting from not feeling good enough. Not that, that has changed. I just...cut a lot less, and less less suicidal? Yeah whatever you wanna call it.

"don't apologize..it doesn't help the situation. " Alex says a bit to coldly. Making me flinch slightly. He didn't seem to notice.

"I'm sor-, I mean ok.." I manage out, trying not to seem like I wanted nothing to do with this conversation anymore.

"..You know what?..how about. I apologize rightly to you, a movie. My place..it's the least I can do...You know..for leaving?.." I find myself saying and then immediately slap myself in my head. What the fuck was I doing!!!! The last thing I wanted was for Alex to come over to my filthy house and see how much of a mess I am without him and the crew.

Alex immediately perks up, smiling ear to ear, I can't take this away from him now. The way his eyes glisten make me want to die instantly. If I changed my mind. I know he would look like a kicked over puppy.

"yes-, I mean sure I would love to!! When?" Alex says, desperation prompt in his voice.

"um..tomorrow? 3:00m?.." I answer back, fiddling with the bottom of my shirt.

"sounds like a deal!" Alex says popping up and turning to give me a quick hug with I tense and slowly hug back.

He smiling with nothing but love in his eyes, the look I know way to well. Before walking into the sunset, I sign softly and stand up, brushing the dirt off my pants before walking in the direction of my home.

God what have I gotten myself into this time.