Alex POV

Here I am,  watching John lean over the fountain,  and I mean he's gorgeous..all his perfection and imperfections and I can't help but blush a bit.

"Jackie?.."

I can see him tense as he turns around and meets my eyes

"a-alex.."

I can't help but take in his features and how his nose slightly crunches up at the wind that blows in his face, and how his hair dances along with it.

I look away for a moment clearing my throat to keep myself from falling to my knees,  and apologizing for anything I did to make him want to leave and hide himself from us..me..

"h-how have you been?" I ask him,  giving him back my eye contact, which he decided to not return,  deciding that the ground was much more interesting.

"ok.." he mumbles back, now playing with his shirt.

I take a step towards him and immediately takes one back.

Sighing softly I plant myself where i am,  not wanting to scary him off,  almost like he was a frightened kitten that was cautious of touch and affection.

"John..i-..I wanna talk if..if that's ok with you?.."

"mhm..it is" he says still not moving towards me,  nor looking me in the eyes.

"can we..sit down and talk" I say,  motioning towards the fountain,  where we can sit,  it's such a beautiful fountain..and it's changed a bit since we last saw it..and sat here,  when we were together..and I would hold him close and run my fingers through his long curly hair,  that always stayed tangled,  but he always made it work,  and how his eyes would twinkle when a bird sat on the fountain and he would beg me not to move so he can sketch it.  His drawings were always amazing and sometimes I would wish I had his talent of Arts and crafts. Or how he would see w turtle and just-

"s-sure" John says taking me out of my trance, sitting down on the fountain slowly

I walk towards him again,  slower this time, and sit beside him,  he finches and moves over a bit,  so we aren't right by each other, but with a nice gap

I place my hands on the fountain,  tracing the cracks and overgrown vines on it, before glances at john,  who is running his hands through the cold water at the bottom, a small smile on his face.

"what happened John?..why did you...leave?" I ask,  already feeling the tears coming

"I told you..at the coffee shop.." he answers back turning his unoccupied hand through his hair.

"running it to me again,  I just need..more" I say back,  desperation lacing through my words

"I left because of our bad fight..You said awful things to me..about my sister,  about me..I couldn't help but think that..since you bullied me before, you didn't change. No never changed,  and that it was all a joke to you,  and-and..Alex I just had to get out of there. That's all" he says,  now bouncing his leg.  a nervous tick he always did.

"John I needed you there,  I went through hell without you!!" I raise my voice a bit,  I just want him to say it was a mistake and run into my arms,  and I'll text Liz and tell her it's not working,  and I need John back. My John back,  but I can't,  I know that won't happen.

"I wenf through hell with you." once those words left his mouth,  it felt like everything was in slow motion,  and my world crashed down..I didn't know what to do,  what to say.

Many emotions flashed through John's face,  almost as if he regreted it.

  and God I hope he did.

A/n I feel like this book is lacking my love and emotion Like my other books..