Hey Chang...

Yeah?

I see that you're always the person hyping up people to see past their insecurities and always giving them positivity they need. Why can't you do that for your? Have the same effect on other people yourself. Make yourself feel validated and be confident in yourself the same way you're confident in the people around you. You also have your own insecurities.

Maybe I think so little of myself. Feeling like I don't really matter really matter in many people's lives and feelings like I'm some background character or feel like I don't fit in anywhere. Or maybe it's because I've been hurt to the extent that I ended up believing that no one will accept me for who I am and is unworthy to be loved or cared for because I'm my own person who doesn't want to change for the benefit of others.

Then why put up a front and give these people positivity when you can't be positive enough to love yourself?

Because I can relate to what they're feeling. And because I relate with them I don't want these people to feel what I feel or end up in the same pit I'm in. To feel like no one will accept or appreciate them for who they are because they chose to go against the expectations put on them. Or even feel like they don't matter to anyone no matter where they go. It's been hard to learn to love myself or even think of anything positive about myself. But if I can't be positive about myself why not be positive or spread positivity to those who feel what I feel. Besides for me the damage is done. I'm broken beyond repair. I may portray myself as this person with a crazy personality and a weird sense of humor but deep inside I'm a broken person.