First of all I'd like to give a shout out to _pastelmon_ forthe support and enjoying every bit of my segments where I rant and give perspective about stuff going on in the world. I appreciate you🥺

She brought up a very interesting scenario where a couple were in a relationship before the guy let's call him Connie goes and studies abroad. Him and the girl, let's call her Sasha, did consistently talk and stay in touch until they eventually drifted apart and lost contact but haven't properly broken up. Connie's feelings for Sasha fade a bit and he thinks that she was upset and cut contact with him. So Connie comes back home and sees Sasha with a new boyfriend.

Woooooo child this is a tricky one. Like long distance relationships suck that's one thing I learned from the past relationship I was in. I mean sure you get to talk to your s/o through text and call but the desire of wanting to physically interact with your partner is there.

Like I've lost count of how many times I fantasised about going out on dates with my ex, meeting up on campus if we ever went to the same university, watching the star wars movies for the first time with him (he's a star wars fan lol) all that.

And it hurts that you don't get to do that because of the distance and all you can do is wait for the day you both get to meet each other in person.

If I was in Connie's shoes and found out my bae was seeing another gal and not broke up with me, hell yeah I'd be mad and hurt about this. Rightfully so at that. Like how dare you not tell me that you can't continue this long distance relationship only to see you with another sistah.

That ain't fair to me and I at least deserve to know so I don't have to feel guilty about doubting our relationship and feel bad for losing feelings for you.

At least let me know what you want instead of making me feel like I'm forcing you into this relationship because it came off like that when I found out that you with another gal. That's my opinion and how I would have felt about it.

But there are two main issues to address in a scenario like this. The first being communication. They both should have talked about this whole distance thing and how it's affecting them and where they stand because ngl, both Connie and Sasha just assumed that the relationship is over.

And sure Connie started to lose feelings for Sasha but I still think he deserved to know that she can't continue the relationship instead of finding out that she has a new boyfriend the moment he comes home to at least try and clear things up between them. Especially when he's under the impression that they still boo and bae.

And Connie ain't no different, instead of assuming that she mad and upset he should have tried to reach out to her and asked her if she wanted stay in the relationship and also tell her how he felt about the long distance.

Communication people.

The other thing could be the fact that Connie couldn't make time for Sasha because of school and I can relate with his situation because that's basically another factor that led to my break up with my ex.

I remember back in my first year of university we used to talk like all the time and kept in touch. The workload from school at the time wasn't as much back them.

But when I got into my second year, school became more demanding and my grades were improving from my first year and I wanted to maintain that standard for myself (Not to brag but I'm an A+ A and B student 💅🏽)

The drawback was that I didn't allow myself to have a social life and time to pump the brakes and take care of my mental health because I've had episodes of depression throughout the semester and it was unbearable and the moment I get into that state I withdraw myself and avoid talking to people.

Heck, I got triggered everytime I heard WhatsApp message notifications popping up and it took a great deal of self control to not yeet and break my phone. Yeah, it was that bad 👀🍷. University ain't for the week my friends.

But this still goes back to communication because I should have told my ex that: hey I can't really talk. I'm going through a rough time and I need space. Instead of just ignoring him.

If this was the case with Connie then it would be understandable why Sasha did what she did because he didn't communicate with her about what he was going through. He didn't have to go into the specifics or the details but just let her know that he needs his space.

However, if it were a situation where Sasha was aware of how tight and busy school is for him and if he had communicated about what was going on with him but still got upset about it, then she has a problem.

With my ex, he knew how occupied I was with school and he knew of the moments I had my episodes of depression. He understood it yes, but he still had the expectation of me to still keep contact with him just as I did in my first year.

And i don't think he understood how demanding university can be as much as he thought he did because he's hasn't started his first year of university and that might have been the case with Sasha.

I think both communication was a major problem in their relationship.