In this entry I'm gonna talk about my rough toxic relationship with my third ex boyfriend which took me almost five years to get over.

We're going to call him Elliott in this entry.

Here in my home country primary and high school terms and holidays are as follows:

January to early April = Term one

May to early August = Term two

September to early December = Term 3

School holidays: April, August and December.

Sometimes depending on the school they take half term breaks or exit weekends where we close school for half the term from roughly on Thursday or Friday then school starts again on Tuesday. These exit weeks normally take place on the third to fourth week of the second month of the term.

Normally at the beginning of the term when schools open, schools finish early at around 1pm. Then school activities start on the second week.

Also primary school starts from grade 1 to grade 7. And secondary/high school starts from grade 8 to grade 12 (we call them form 1 to form 6 though around form 5 and 6 are normally referred to lower and upper six respectively. We have six years of high school where I'm from. Form 3 and 4 are classes for O level whilst form 5 and 6 are classes for A level.

Just had to put this here because it relevant to the story.

So let's rewind to 2015 when I had transferred to a new school after spending almost two and a half years at an all girls school. It was the second week of the first term. I was still a new kid at a new school. I had repeated Form three due to the differences in cambridge syllabuses for O level. I was trying to get to the place especially a mixed school after learning at a girl's school from form 1 to half of form 3.

I was loitering around the block during clubs with one of my classmates who seemed nice enough to be around until I saw him...Elliott. He was a form 4 at that time. Apparently she and him were friends so in a way it was an indirect introduction.

I wasn't really paying much attention to their conversation. I was literally just standing there just watching them talk. Until he talked about wanting to repeat form 3 since he wasn't ready to write Cambridge examinations that year. And I was like "Boi you are lucky that you writing this year. I would have been a form 4 this year if I hadn't repeated."

We ended up debating about it but I didn't think much about it or whether we were friends or not. I thought it was one of those moments where we talk for this day and then next day or so we're strangers. But surprise surprise the homie was coming at me and calling me over to talk to him like we friends and I just went with it. And that's how our friendship started. We ended hanging out every break and lunch time. Even during sports and clubs. We even sat next to each other in the bus. We even started holding hands and giving each other hugs.

And don't get me wrong Elliott wasn't exactly what you'd call an attractive guy lol.

On a scale of 10 how would you rate him?

He's a solid three.

Ouch.

What? He was tall and skinny. Well not to skinny tho. He was lean. Idk🤷🏽‍♀️. But I'm not the typa gal who dates guys for their looks.

This coming from the gal who goes crazy seeing all those hot Kpop idols on her Instagram. Especially people like Park Jimin, Jackson Wang, Mark Tuan or the other members of BTS and Got7.

Yes, I go crazy drool and get infatuated over drop dead gorgeous guys. (You have no idea how many times I drool and fangirl whenever I see any attractive male celebrity including kpop idols. Specifically BTS and Got7. Even those hot guys I see on Tik Tok.) But I most care about the personality. You may be a drop dead gorgeous guy who can get me on my knees and worship the ground you walk on but the moment I pick up your bad traits, consider yourself the ugliest person on this planet. Because personality contributes more to you exterior appearance and this applied Elliott.

Noted.

Sure Elliott wasn't good looking enough to sweep me off my feet but his personality was enough to keep me interested in him. He was funny, sarcastic in a fun way and pretty much flexible. I guess I can say he was mysterious in his own way lmao.

I remember one time he told me that he was going to pay someone to kiss me until weeks later he said he was going to pay himself to kiss me🤣. Smh.

Which takes us to February the day before valentine's day. It was a Friday. Every Friday we finish school early. We were sitting next to each other in the bus. Talking as usual. Then he brought up the who paying for the kiss issue and said that he was going to kiss me right there and then.

Mind you it had been long since I kissed a guy since my last boyfriend.

You mean Trevor?

We don't speak of him. He's just that irrelevant.

Wait. How many boyfriends did you have?

Four. The first two weren't that serious because I was genuinely in love with the idea of having a boyfriend after transferring from a girl's school.

Oh...

Anyway I wasn't exactly expecting any guy to kiss me. Plus I thought he was just playing to get me flustered like he normally did. So I was like: nah. You ain't gonna do it. And he was like: you sure? I'm gonna do it.
And I was like: try it.

And just like that he kissed me. It was a sloppy but unexpected kiss. And I'm pretty sure I was a blushing mess afterwards.

So I was thinking about the kiss all weekend. It kept replaying in my head and I kept wondering if things were going to change between us after that. But I ended up denying it because it was just a kiss. He only kissed me because I was testing his pride and to prove his point so it didn't really mean anything to him so there wasn't any point for me to be bothered about it. And I was sure that he was going to forget about it.

But then Monday came. He kept asking and persisting about the kiss all day during break and lunch and I could give him an answer. I mean what was supposed to say. Eventually I ended up telling him what he wanted to hear so he could get off my metaphorical dick about and hopefully things would go back to normal.

Then Tuesday came, things were back to normal so I had no worries. So lunch time was almost over. I had a lesson for two periods. So Elliott was like: I guess it's time for you to go. And I was like: yeah. We hugged like we normally did but what I didn't expect was him kissing me. What surprised me even more was when I kissed him back 😅.

Okay in my defense, that guy was a good kisser. I couldn't help myself 😂. I mean I really loved how our lips fitted together perfectly. And to top it off he was tall.

....I see your point. That's really hot. Not gonna lie.

So weeks went by and we still hung out (while having some hot steamy make out sessions during our free periods when we were alone *wink wink*) But along the way I met other people who were in his circle of friends. Victor, Kevin and Zeke. They were nerds like myself and were into anime. It was Victor who made me introduced me to anime like Full Metal Alchemist, Fairy Tail, One Piece, Gundam and he became the big brother I wished I had. Zeke was the one who introduced me to the Flash CW series and I had been following it since. I didn't really talk to Kevin that much but I enjoyed his company nonetheless. He was more of the sarcastic dick in the group but you enjoy having him around.

Awww that's nice

I wasn't too sure about my relationship with Elliot nor did I even bother to ask. That was until one fateful day. So it was a Friday, normally the buses at school get delayed because they have to pick the primary scholars before us so we had to wait from the time school was over til are 3PM. So the bus came, I went to class to pack my shit. Elliott got picked up by his dad so he couldn't go with the bus.

As I was packing, this girl comes in. She was a classmate of mine who did history with me. We didn't really talk but she was a sweet person and she happened to be close friends with Elliott. So she comes at me with her sleeves rolled up. And she was like: are you dating Elliott.

No "hi". Just went straight to the point and she sounded pissed and ready to throw hands.

That doesn't sound good.

Me, still not sure where Elliott and I stood in our relationship and didn't want any trouble with her I was like: no we just friends. She took my word for it and left me all confused.

I told Elliott about it the following week and asked what the fuck was she coming at me for. So apparently there was a point in time when Elliott told me he was dating someone whilst he was with me and he said that I knew the person.

Did you?

Hell naw. Do you expect anyone to know who if they're being that vague. Just be I know a lot of people doesn't mean I'll know who it is exactly 🙄.

Okay so what did Elliott say?

Apparently that girl was the one he was talking about.

Say what 😦

Apparently she's the apparently gf. And the reason why she came at me was because she wasn't too pleased about me stealing her mans.

And there was this one time he got mad at me for talking to some guys I talked to at this French Class convention. And he got mad at me for guys flirting with me in one of the group chats on WhatsApp during the holidays.

But even if was there he has no right to be mad at you for talking to other guys.

Either way I felt bad.

Didn't that raise any red flags?

At the time no.

Chang, seriously 🤦🏽‍♀️

What more do you expect from a sixteen year old who was blinded by her developing feelings for her newly boyfriend 😒

....

Mhm.

So anyways, things didn't really change between me and Elliott afterwards. We continued dating. I honestly didn't think I was going to date me. We didn't really have much in common. I love anime and he didn't because he accidentally watched hentai😂. He loves snakes and I hate those legless mother fuckers with a passion but we still continued dating. We even moved to the "I love you" stage.

Wow. After how long

Two months

Two-TWO MONTHS?! 🤯😳

Did I stutter?

Weren't ya'll moving too fast? I mean ya'll started dating weeks after you kissed. Twice.

Did that logic work on my sixteen year old self 😒

Man you really were dumb when you were sixteen.

Tell me about it 🙄

I can say that the first term was like the best period in 2015. I made some friends who had a lot in common with me and I didn't feel alone. I was kinda enjoying my lessons especially history, ICT, Travel and Tourism, Biology, Maths, English and Literature. Plus I had a boyfriend who made me feel so special. Like I'm one of the things that mattered to him.

And this is when things start to go downhill. When did things start to change.

At the beginning of the second term in May. It wasn't much of a big change but I could feel something was different.

How so?

Like it felt like he didn't want to have me around. Or rather he was distancing himself from me. He never really talked to me as much as we did First Term. Heck he never called me over to talk to him. He started hanging out with his female friends, who were in the same class with me, more than he hung out with me and it sucked that I had to watch.

Did you at least try to approach him?

No. My pride wouldn't allow me to. Plus I didn't want to come off desperate and I didn't want to but into their conversations if they didn't really want me there.

Did the change bother you?

It did but not to much because I had Victor, Kevin and Zeke to talk to so it was bearable and I didn't feel alone.

Did you hate the girls for "taking Elliott away from you"?

No! Hell naw! Even though I wasn't friends with them, they meant well and they didn't do anything to piss me off. I was just confused at why Elliott gave me so much attention before and just started ghosting me for no reason. Sure, he's allowed to talk to his friends yes. But should he talk to his friends and completely neglect his girlfriend?

So what did you do about it?

I just let him be. I didn't want to be the type of girlfriend that wanted to control who he should talk to because I'm not like that. And I wasn't going to force him to talk to me all the time when he didn't want to. Besides, he did talk to me and had time for me when he had the chance and I had my friends so it wasn't much of a problem.

But Victor did tell me before hand that he didn't trust where Elliott was going with his relationship with me and said that he was falling back into his old habits. But I chose not to believe that and said the famous "maybe he'll change"

Did he change?

What do you think?

....I'm not even going to comment.

Then came the day schools closed for the term when he decided to breakup with me in the bus before I dropped off.

In front of everyone 😨

No.

Okay but for what😕

Well there was a time when I was upset with my midyear exam marks and I was crying about it. He told me it was best if I focused more on my studies.

I smell bullshit 😐.

What did you say to him about it?

Nothing. I respected what he said even though I wanted to be with him. Who am I to force someone to be with me when they don't want you right.

But you were still hurt.

I'm just that good at dealing with certain things and sucking it up no matter how much it hurts me.

Damn. You poor child. Did you and Elliott talk afterwards regardless of ya'll being broken up?

Not often. He'd drop by to chat on WhatsApp when he wanted to.

When he wanted to😐

Well...until he told me the real reason why he broke up with me the day before schools opened for Term 3.

I knew I could smell the bullshit from his "you need to focus on your studies excuse" 🙄. What he say?

He said he broke up with me because he wanted me to date Victor.

....😐 what? You mean to tell me that this mafucka broke up with you so you can date your brother friend?

Pretty much. It doesn't help that Elliott was aware of the sibling relationship I have with Leroy. I wasn't aware Victor had a crush on me. But even if I didn't family zone him I did think he'd like me that way since he liked someone else.

So what happened afterwards.

Elliott said he was going to talk about with me when we open schools.

Did he?

Nope. He started avoiding me completely ever since and started hanging out with his female friends more than ever.

😐

I didn't even bother and just let him be. I talked about with one of my cousins about it and they told me that I should at least why he's avoiding me because it wasn't fair to do so without giving me a reason.

So I asked him the following week why he was avoiding me. And he was like: my Cambridge examinations are close. I need to study.

Bull. Shit 😐

I didn't have the energy so I just left it like that. But then he decided to break up with me.

Again?! 😦

Yep.

What was his excuse this time?

He didn't give me an excuse nor a reason. I was in the bus about to drop off at my spot when he grabbed my arm and said: we should breakup. And I was like: okay. I tried to pull my arm out of his grasp but he still held it and said he was sorry. But his apology felt so hollow and empty.

Damn...

I was like: it's fine I don't care. It took everything in not walk home crying. And thank God I was going to be absent from school because I was seeing my mom off to catch her flight to the UK.

I feel you. Imagine how awkward it would have been seeing him the day after he broke up with you. How were you coping after all that?

Not really well. Besides being heart broken that my boyfriend dumped me I had personal issues piling up to my already existing depression. It got to a point that I ran past Elliott one day on my way to the girl's bathroom in tears.

Did he see you cry.

Yes. And he did nothing. He just watched. The only people who did something to make me a bit better were Victor, Kevin and Zeke.

Real friends 😔✊🏽

And as time went on I started to get better bit by bit. Then when mid term break was around the corner Elliott started talking to me again. Like having a full conversation with me. Even started sitting next to me in the bus again.

😐

I mean I was happy that he was finally talking to me again but I was suspicious at why.

Who wouldn't be suspicious of the idea of their ex talking to them after breaking up with them for no reason sis. 😐

True. As suspicious as I was I relished the moment because a deep part of me missed him and I couldn't help it. But at the same time I kept my guard up a bit just to be careful. And we ended up being together again.

🤦🏽‍♀️ bruh. Seriously. You need to stop giving him chances he doesn't deserve.

Relax. Even though we went back together it didn't feel like we were dating anyway.

Still.

He transferred to a different school for lower six even though he promised me that he would come back. But I knew he was bluffing. Plus I had a feeling that he wasn't up for a long distance relationship with me so I had a friend of a friend look into it to check if he found some other broad at his new school. And I was right.

Did you confront him.

Not exactly confront. Just asked how his girlfriend was and of course he denied the claim. I straight up told him that I didn't know what to believe anymore more and it was better if we stayed friends.

Friends? Nah sis. You should have cancelled him right then and there. He was toxic af.

At the time I still valued him so....

But that was the last time you saw him right?

.....

Right?

....it was supposed to be the last time I until 2017 when I transferred to a different school for lower six.

Oh no....

So Elliott and I still contacted each other but not that frequently. He told me that his younger brother was going to the same high school and be in the same stream as mine. But I didn't see Elliott when I saw my brother off. So it wasn't a problem.

But come around February when there was an AGM meeting at my brother's school on a Saturday I saw him. And our car was coincidentally parked next to his family's car.

Ooooof....were you shocked.

Wakanda question is that of course I was shocked. More shook than Jungkook.

Did ya'll talk.

Not really. It started pouring outside so we spent the majority of our time in the car.

But that was the last time you saw him right.

Nope. Which brings us to August 2017 when I went for holiday school. I was the first to arrive in town at the pickup point for the bus. As I was waiting that's when I saw him. He didn't see me tho

Please tell me you didn't approach him

....

....you did, didn't you?

Yeeeees👉🏽👈🏽. And it kinda motivated me to come to the pickup point early. For a week.

.....

Don't worry. I didn't see him the following week.

And that was the last time you saw him right?

Nope

AW COME ON 😫

This was sometime in October 2017 at the prize giving day at my brother's school. We saw each other and that was it.

And that was the last time you saw him right?

Nope

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! THIS MAFUCKA IS LIKE A THE TERMINATOR. HE KEEPS COMING BACK!

Well this time he decided to come learn at my school when I was in upper six in 2018.

😦

I remember I was in class wait for one of my teachers to come for the lesson then I heard on of my friends telling me that Elliott was there and I didn't believe her. Then when I was in the library during my free period behold. Elliott walked in wearing the school uniform.

Wow....did ya'll talk during break.

Yeah but not really that much tho. I asked him why was he hear and he claimed that he told me about it which was true. I did recall him telling me that he was planning to come learn at my school but I didn't take it seriously because he has a habit to make promises he can't keep.

What was his reason for coming to your school.

He said he came to retake some o level subjects which he flunked so he needed to supplement. He was going to sit down for May/June Cambridge exams and afterwards he was done with school. I was a bit bummed that I was going to see him for five months. But it was something I had to deal with.

I thought that now that he was at the same school as me we were going to hang out like we used to back in our prime.

Did you? ...

No. Instead it was almost exactly like what it was when he started distancing himself from me back then. I didn't even approach him because I felt like he did really want me around him and it really hurt.

Why would you feel hurt about it. You guys weren't together.

I know but....I apart of me still had feelings for him. I was in denial because at the time I already had a boyfriend.

Whoa....now that complicates things.

I remember one time during Saturday when we had weekend school, he was really close to this girl. Like really close. Almost close enough to even suspect that they're dating. They were sitting next to each. Heck they were sharing earphones and singing together and I was right next to them.

It really bothered me that he was giving her attention and it made me feel like I was undeserving of any guy's attention because it's me. Chang. The gal who he used and played around and threw away when he was bored.

And thinking about it now that I'm almost 21, I think he did all that on purpose. Doing all those things with that girl and made me feel those things. I dunno if he knew it or intended it but it felt like he was reminding me or rather telling me to know my place and not over step my boundaries.

And he had to remind me everyday I saw him with her. Heck whenever I tried to hype myself or even complinent myself a little he went as far as telling me to stay within my lane.

Heck he even lied to my face that I was a clingy girlfriend who saved him a seat in the bus😐.

Holy shit....

I was lucky enough to have my best friend at the time. That girl, even I'm five years older than her, was the only person I can call my friend during my last years in high school. Yes I had a few people I talked to but this gurl was the girl I fucked with.

I remember when we had a huge fight on WhatsApp and I blocked him.

We haven't talked even at school until he wrote his exams in May/June and left.

And that was the last time you saw him?

Nope this mother fucker came back later that year in August.

Why😑

Apparently he flunked maths and it's very important to have at least five or more o levels including English and maths. So he had to come back to retake maths

..... *sigh* any drama that happened when he came back.

There was one involving my childhood best friend Rose and some other girl.

Long story short, Elliott asked Rose if they could be friends with benefits and she was like no. So he asked the other girl but didn't mention the friends with benefits part. But later on Rose ended  up considering his offer. The girl talked to some other guy and Elliott got pissed and he decided to have his revenge against the girl and it turned into a mess. I remember ranting about it on my message board.

I stepped in because I was protecting Rose and I didn't want what happened to me happen to her. But of course Elliott took it as if I was being jealous 🙄.

Of course 🙄

Then there was the time when I told him to back off and not touch me when he tried to comfort me. I remember that day I was sick and I had an exam. I didn't finish in time and I was emotionally. I went to his class asking for Rose but they told me that she had an exam. Elliott tried to pull me into a hug but I told him not to touch me and left.

Weren't you a bit to harsh on him. He noticed something wrong and he was trying to be sincere.

No he wasn't. I don't believe he was being sincere in any form and I didn't trust him. There were times when he took my vulnerability for granted and I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction.

I see...

Then going to his last exam, he told me that he was going to kiss me and I told him that he wasn't because he has a habit of making promises he can't keep. And he was like: bet. Let's wait until home time.

And of course I was right and I told him.

Why🤦🏽‍♀️

I dunno. I just did. He ended up kissing me anyway 🤷🏽‍♀️

*sigh*

After that we didn't talk. I still blocking him on WhatsApp until Rose told me to unblock him.

Why? 😐

Bitch I dunno. But she did tell me his reasons for hurting me.

Which were?

Because I'm naive and stupid and I needed to be taught a lesson.

Wait. You're telling me instead of talking to you this mother fucker decided to manipulate you and shit just to teach you a lesson when you did absolutely nothing wrong 😦

Yeah pretty much

Wow...just...wow

I did end up unblocking him

Which you shouldn't have done.

Hey. It wasn't like I was talking to him on a daily basis. I ended up not texting him because I was the only one putting an effort in our conversations. He only texted me when he wanted to and ended up wasting my time.

Though there was that one time on New  year's eve when we texted all night until new years. He even called me.

What were you talking about.

Basically him telling me how much regretted taking me for advantage and wanting to give our relationship another chance.

Please tell me you didn't consider it 😐

I did but I consulted Victor about it first before finalising my decision and he told me it's not worth the risk and I could see where he was coming from. I ended up telling Elliott that I can't give our relationship another chance coz I don't really trust him. Since then we didn't say much to each other.

But that wasn't the last of him right?

Nope

Of course 🙄🤦🏽‍♀️

Now to early this year before schools opened for term 1. I saw a post on one of my cousin's statuses on WhatsApp

I was like: huh I can relate to this. Let me screenshot and share on my status. It was an open discussion of course since I'm curious to what people think.

What I didn't expect was Elliott responding to my status.

....oh 😧

I got a heart attack. Like I post a lot of things on my status but he doesn't see or respond to them. So why now.

What he say?

I can't remember but what he basically said was as long as the pain only happens to the girl on not have the guy involved then the guy has no reason to care.

Wow😐

Honestly I was angry that he texted me but I was also confused at why he did so. In that moment I wanted to fish out why he treated me the way he did but it got me more confused and frustrated and I blocked him.

But it doesn't stop there. The same week when my dad and i dropped my brother at school i saw Elliott

Oh God. You can't catch a break. 🤦🏽‍♀️

Right. I had a feeling I was going to see him but I dismissed the thought because normal by the time Elliott appeared I would have been gone so I thought that day was no different but boy was I wrong. Like I remembered we left one the classes after checking in the school groceries. By instinct I just looked to the side and behold: Elliott was there.

You know how people just stop in their tracks if they see someone they haven't seen in like...forever and just look at them. THAT WAS ME WHEN I SAW HIM.

And of course you went to talk to him

You know me so well

Bitch it's not the first time you went to talk to the guy after not seeing him in a long time 😒

☹

It's the truth. Even the readers would agree with me on this.

🙄 anyway, we talked for a bit. Just a casual talk. But he noticed that something was off with my mood and couldn't see that I was shaking as I was talking to him and he asked what was wrong. But I decided not to tell him

But wasn't that a golden opportunity to get closure and tell him what you really feel. I mean with everything that's been happening for the past five years was because of the lack of closure.

Yes, but I chose not to because:

1) we were at the wrong place to have that kind of conversation.

2) I didn't want him to say shit that will make me lock myself in my room and cry my eyes out.

But in a way seeing him was closure enough for me.

How. Y'all didn't say anything.

Exactly. I didn't need to ask and hear what he had to say about the pain he caused me. I could see it through how he was interacting with me and I could feel it in the atmosphere. His actions go back to his response to my status.

I didn't want to admit it then but I realized the reason why I didn't have closure was because I wanted him to care. I wanted Elliott to feel guilty for the manipulation and making me think less of myself because I was over stepping my boundaries. I wanted him to genuinely apologise to me.

But seeing the demeanour he had talking to and his response I said to myself:

You may want him feel bad for what he did. You may want an apology from him. You may want him to repent but at the end of the day, it's you who's being affected. It's you who's suffering and holding on to this pain and he knows it. And since he knows that you're at the receiving end of it and not him he has no reason to care or feel any remorse for the pain he's caused you. At that fact is enough to make him move on with his life with no regrets.

I hurts to even think about it this way but that's the reality.

Please tell that was the last time you saw him.

Yes. That was the last time I saw him. I blocked and unfollowed him from all my social media

Oh thank God. FINALLY.

Man this was one long story.

Reeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaally long. But do you still have feelings for him.

Well back then I guess I still had feelings for him but I was just in denial. And it's because of that it ended up making me rebound someone without even realizing it until I broke up with him. But that might be a story for another time. But either way me denying my feelings for Elliott ended up affecting my last relationship.

But now I don't know. I still think about him sometimes but I'm not sure if it's because of nostalgia or not.

After things ended between me and Elliott I grew a bit insecure about myself. Like I'm comfortable to be myself but I get really self conscious if people get uncomfortable around me just because it's me. I also started to feel like no guy might date me because I'm that type of person you can be friends with but you'd never date and I started to feel like I might never find any guy who'd like me for me and not have any hidden agendas.

And it's because of my experience with Elliott that I'm too guarded over my heart and I don't give myself fully to any guy and I get too scared to show my vulnerable side without thinking that he might exploit it the way Elliott did.

I almost dated someone similar to Elliott when I started university this year. Thank God I dodged that bullet.

Amen.

I spent the greater part of those five years wondering what went wrong and why he put me through all that. I had some moments where I'd reminisce on the good times we had before things changed between us.

I'm also grateful I had people like Victor, Kevin, Zeke and in my life. People who've always been there for me when he wasn't.

But at the same time I give up on love.

What? Why? 🙁 sure you had a bad experience with it but that doesn't mean that you should give up on it.

I get that but I'm tired of being disappointed. I've been hurt to a point that I don't even know what love feels like. Like a guy can say he loves me and I won't even know what to do.

And sure I have some crushes but I'm too guarded and cautious to get into a serious relationship with them.

Maybe it's because you're not ready. Yes you managed to put everything he did behind you but it's still affecting you regardless.

Either way, even when I'm ready I'm just numb to love. I might as well settle for no strings attached relationships because I know at the end of the day the guy wants nothing to do with me afterwards and vice versa. Besides there's no love for people in their early twenties. It's all fun and games. Maybe when I'm in my late twenties to early thirties I might consider wanting to settle for a serious relationship with someone.