Christmas is coming...well its close, the first snowfall happened during lunch time today. Big guys who should lose weight like me shouldn't like Christmas. I guess I enjoy it, but there was so many bad things to go along with it.

For example trying to squeeze into jackets the stores sell because they don't sell them in your size. That's one thing I don't really like about Korea, they don't have a wide variety of things for bigger people like me to choose from. If you wanted to fit into things here, you had to be skinny. 

That, and all the food you end up eating on the holidays. Mr.Seo's probably going to warn me not to eat too much, but I don't listen to him anyway when it comes to my diet plan. When do I ever listen to him when it comes to food? If anything I'd probably eat my heart out on Christmas because Christmas day is always horrible for me. 

My parents are never home for Christmas and it just makes me remember the memories I had when I was a child. When I was a kid, my parents didn't think I was a complete disappointment so they actually celebrated Christmas with me. They would put presents under the tree and we would have a big dinner with my whole family coming to visit. 

Now all my parents do is work during Christmas holidays so I've been celebrating Christmas the same way for the past three years now. Watching TV and eating away with whatever I could buy at the store which was microwavable with the money I had. 

I was too off in my own world to realise the last bell rang to end school. I blinked a couple of times seeing everyone around me getting up from their seats and putting their backpacks on their back. 

"It'll be a white Christmas this year!" I heard one girl say to her friend, she sounded pretty excited. 

"My boyfriend said he had something special to give me on Christmas...what do you think it could be?" Her other friend replies in an excited tone and they both squealed just thinking about what her boyfriend could be giving her.

Oh yes, and the relationships over holidays like this. Christmas is when the relationships blossom and they're visibly seen on the streets of Seoul. Everywhere you turn, there's always a new couple to be seen. 

I turned my head to where Luhan was but he was already getting up and leaving the room. I noticed today every time I'm just thinking off into space I'm always looking at Luhan when I'm doing so. Thank gosh he didn't notice, but I have to get out of that habit before he suspects something. 

I got up from my seat and swung my backpack on my back. I left the classroom and walked down the hallway when I saw Luhan talking to someone from an older grade. Now that I think about it, didn't Luhan mention that he did it with a girl in an older grade...in class two, right? Is that her?

She's really pretty...long black hair, pale skin, she's really skinny too. She's probably on a sports team or something because she looks really fit. Luhan looks really happy with her, he's even laughing. Are they maybe going out? 

I didn't want to stare for too long to make it obvious I was looking at them so I turned my head away and continued making my way down the hall with my head down. 

While I was halfway down the hall I heard a teacher calling out to me from one of the classrooms. "Minseok, could I speak to you for a second?" He asks and I walked to where he was. 

He moved to a side to let me into the classroom and he closed the door behind me when I entered the room. "Yes?" I faintly say, wanting to get this over with so I could pick up Luhan's dad, bring him to his house and just go home so I can read. 

"You're a really smart kid, Minseok. You're in the top five in your whole class you should be proud about yourself." Okay where is this going. The teacher then continues to explain "I want to know if you're interested in joining our math team?" 

"Math team?" I repeat while raising one eyebrow, giving him a questioning look. 

"Yeah, the math team. We verse other schools across Korea and you get a medal if you make it to the finals. It looks good on university applications." He says, trying to convince me to go but I already knew this is a big no. 

I'm not going to join some math team, being the fat nerd of the school. I don't want that title for myself. Yeah it was good on university applications and maybe my parents wouldn't think I'm that much of a disappointment if I won a country wide competition for mathematics but I don't want to do something that will get me more bullied. 

"Sorry sir, I don't think I'm interested" I say, backing away but he looked desperate. 

"Oh come on Minseok, you don't have anything better to do, do you? You're not in any clubs and obviously no sports teams. You're smart...why not put that brain to the test?" He asks, pointing at his own brain but was referring to mine. 

"No...sorry, but thank you for the offer" I say, turned around and leaving the room. 

I feel bad for saying no to that teacher, even though I don't know him he looked pretty sad I said no. Obviously not a lot of people were going to agree because it's either going to put a bad title on them, or it's going to get in the way of their studying for other subjects which is understandable. 

I took out my phone and looked at the list Luhan had sent and it looked like Luhan's dad was at the same place I saw him last time when I was walking back home from the doctors. 

While I was walking there, a car pulled up beside me and when I turned my head to see what was going on, it was Luhan's car. 

He rolled down the window and asks "you need a ride?" I looked at him and then around the area to see if there was anyone we knew. "Don't worry, no one from our school is in this area" he says and I nodded. 

I walked up to his car and opened the passengers seat, getting in. "You're not going to hang out with your friends today?" I question and he shook his head meaning no. 

"Nope, my shift at my part time job was switched to later on tonight as well so I had some free time. I figured you were on your way to pick up my dad so I decided to drive you. 

"Thanks" I manage to say which came out as a mumble. 

"That reminds me...I forgot to pay you yesterday, I'll pay you when we get to my house" Luhan explains while turning onto a different road. 

"You don't need to pay me anymore..."

"Huh, what do you mean?" He asks, I could tell even though I wasn't looking at him, he sounded surprised. 

"I said what I mean...you don't need to pay me to take your dad home." I say and we both went quiet again.

"If you're...doing this because I'm poor-" 

"I'm not doing this because you're poor" I interrupt him, knowing where he was going with the conversation. 

The car was quiet again and I didn't know what to say. "So...are you excited for Christmas?" Luhan asks, I guess trying to continue the conversation. 

"Not really" I reply in an honest tone. 

"Why not?" 

"I don't know, my parents probably won't be home so it'll be like every other year." I answer, leaning one side against the locked car door. 

Right then and there we got to where Luhan's dad was suppose to be, but he wasn't there. "He's not here" I say out loud, pointing it out. "Do you think he would go somewhere else?" I question while looking at Luhan but Luhan shook his head meaning no. 

"No, he's probably at home then...oh man" Luhan says in a groan, leaning back in his seat like he was defeated.

"What, what's wrong?" I ask but Luhan shook his head meaning nothing. 

"Is it okay if I drop you off here and you go home by yourself, I already know where my dad is." Luhan asks, turning his head to me. It looked like he was trying to hide his frown with a smile which made me really mad. I want Luhan to be comfortable around me, I want him to tell me everything. 

"It's fine" I say, exiting the car and Luhan quickly drove off without saying goodbye. 

Now I'm cold, hungry and stressed. Why am I stressing myself over Luhan, because I like him? Yeah, obviously. 

When I got home I was tired and searching for food. Not only could I think about the girl Luhan was talking to in the hallway and what kind of relationship they had, I also couldn't stop thinking about where Luhan's dad was and why he had to drive away so fast. 

I brought the food inside my bedroom ate before going to sleep. I couldn't deal with all these emotions, I don't think I've liked anyone like this before. Wow, I really am sad aren't I? Just because someone shows me attention I start liking them? 

I need to get over these feelings for Luhan, people like him don't like people like me. People who are good looking, athletic, funny, popular people who get along with everyone don't like people who are fat, nonathletic, non social people who can't even keep a conversation up with someone. We're not suited for each other. 

On top of that I'm gay and he's most likely straight...he's already done it with a girl so why am I getting my hopes up. I'm bringing all my hopes up when I know they'll be brought down.

Now I'm more frustrated...I hate this. 

I woke up the next morning and went to the dining room table to wait for breakfast to be done. In the middle of me getting lost in my own thought, my dad passed by the table and threw something in front of me. I blinked a couple times and looked down at it to see it was a coat. 

"It's your coat from last year, put it on and see if it still fits you. If it doesn't I'm leaving fifty dollars on the counter for you to buy a new one" he says without even looking at my face. He then passed by me to go to my mother who was in the kitchen. 

I observed my coat and then looking into the kitchen where my dad was hugging my mom from behind. 

I frowned a bit and scooted my coat over so there was room for my food to go in front of me. 

Before I knew it my mom put my food on the table but was standing in front of me like she was waiting for me to look up at her. 

I gave her, her wish and looked up but put something in my mouth to chew while I was looking at her. "Your father and I will be gone for this whole month because we're going on a business trip. Money for food will be in the bottom drawer in our bedroom. We're leaving tonight." She explains before walking to her bedroom to get ready for work. 

Yup, I already knew I was going to be alone this Christmas so I shouldn't have expected this not to happen. It's like they're ever, so it wouldn't be much of a difference anyway. 

I finished my breakfast then brushed my hair and my teeth. After I was done getting ready, I went to the table where I took the jacket I wore last year and tried putting it on, and like expected it didn't even fit me anymore. 

This is just great, all peaches and cream. Now I have to go searching everywhere for a jacket that I will at least have to try making it fit me. I'll try squeezing into the largest size they have in the closest store near my house.

I took the fifty dollars my dad put for me on the counter in my backpack and kept my jacket on but didn't do it up. I'd rather have a jacket on but not have it done up, then having no jacket on at all. It's really cold out and I'm not up for getting frostbite. 

I left my house and made my way to school, buying my lunch while I was walking to school. 

When I got into class, I was pretty surprised not a lot of people were here yet so I took my seat and pulled out the new chapter book I was reading about.

This book was about a dragon and a prince. The prince was best friends with a dragon until the dragon burnt down the castle he lived in. It has more to the plot, but I haven't gotten too far into the story yet to know about what happens next.

I was in the middle of reading the third chapter when I heard a crowd of commotion coming into the classroom. I looked up to see it was Luhan, Chen and Baekhyun but a ton of other people were surrounding them.

"Luhan, are you sure you're okay?"

"Does it hurt?"

"I'm fine, I told you I just got jumped yesterday." Luhan explains in a tone like it was no big deal.

What're they all talking about? I can't even see Luhan because of everyone surrounding him.

"Did they steal anything?!" A concerned girl asks.

"No they didn't take anything, I'll be fine so you all should come to our football game we're having after school today." Luhan says, I could tell he was trying to sound cocky just for the girls.

The bell rang and the people who weren't in our class left the room and the others who were went to their seat. That's when I got a good look at Luhan and what I saw shocked me. He had a black eye and a split lip. I bet it was his dad that did this!

~~~~~~~~~

Hey guys thank you for being patient with updates. Xiumin now knows his feelings for Luhan and are pretty aware of them, he just feels that he's not someone who would suit Luhan because of how he is. Luhan on the other hand is in a whole other situation of his own. Both boys are going to learn more about each other as the chapters continue. And yes, it's in the middle of December in his fan fiction.