Tina

I have no tears left to cry.

I have no tears left to cry.

Then why are these tears falling?

I can't cry.

I can't.

I run to school, my hair flying wildly behind me, my shoes hardly touching the ground, my legs burning and my breath shortening.

I can't cry.

I can't.

I won't.

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I sit at our table along with Jess, listening about the fiasco that happened on Friday – when I didn't come.

'It's embarrassing when I think about it at times but I just couldn't help it in that moment. I miss her.'

'I miss her too, Jess,' I say squeezing her fingers that are interlaced with mine.

'It's almost as if she's going to come now from her badminton practice and sit with us. I'm expecting it and I... want it to happen so badly. But she isn't going to come. She never will.'

Biting my lip, I squeeze her fingers harder.

'This still doesn't seem real. But it is, because Hays isn't here and nor is Lia.'

'She needs time, Jess. She is closer to Hays than we are, you know.'

'I'm scared.' She closes her eyes. 'I'm scared that one day I won't see Lia again and... you.'

'I'll always be here and so will Lia.'

'You don't understand,' she continues while I frown, 'I've been calling her over and over but she won't answer any of my calls, Tina. I'm so scared. Over the last few days, I've been so tempted, like a million times, to go check on her.'

'Lia just needs time.'

Jess sighs. 'How are you doing?'

'I'm okay,' I answer, smiling.

'Are you?'

'Yeah, I'm okay.' I smile wider. 'Don't worry about me,' I say, hugging her. 'Come on, let's get to class, the bell's about to ring.'

Pulling all my books out of the locker, I sigh in frustration and clench my teeth. I know I put the book in here after I completed the homework. So... where is it now?

'Out of all days Tina, why did the Accounts writing book have to go missing today? The stupid class and the stupid book. Most of all, stupid me! Where did I even put the stupid book?' I mutter to myself.

Oh right. I remember. Hayley borrowed it.

I inhale deeply. This is going to be a long day.

My heart racing, I stop at Hayley's locker. I type the combination, all the while my fingers shivering. I then fling it open, trying to get away as fast as I can, but I falter when her scent engulfs me.

Don't cry, Tina.

Don't cry.

I dare myself to not cry.

Sliding my book out, I gasp when the pictures catch my eye. I push Hayley's books away from them.

'I'm not supposed to cry,' I shout internally, slamming the locker closed. Clenching my teeth, I ignore all the students staring at me and leave school.

I'm walking home today.

The sun hides behinds the clouds while they gather around, casting a dark shadow. Leaves strew around as the wind ruffles the tree branches.

This isn't how it's supposed to be. The days aren't supposed to lose their brightness, just the way we aren't supposed to lose you, Hays.

Why did you die? My heart cries every single moment but I can't – I won't – let my tears fall. I have to be strong. I have to be strong for me, for Jess and for Lia.

And so, even when the clouds cry, and the raindrops slide down my face, my tears don't mix with it.

I don't cry.

Author's Note:

If anyone has anything to say about how I can improve my story, you can always comment in my story or PM me. I may not always reply though, but rest assured as I will always read them :)

Constructive criticism is only, and always welcome!