The basement door pulls open, and I take a deep breath of relief. It squeaks as I pull it further, and then I slip in, closing it quietly behind me. With each step I take, the weight on my heart becomes heavy. I have nightmares about this place; I still think back to what happened down here sometimes. Sometimes when I am just sitting on my bed or showering, memories of Matt's hand on me, in me, erode my body and mind. And I swear I am right back here on the cold concrete floor, unable to move the heavy load on top of me conquering my body.

This isn't the time to cry; I break my glance from the very spot I was held down on and search the basement for the phone. It's hanging on the back wall; I walk over to it and smile once I pick it off the hook and hear the dial tone. I dial my father's number, it rings and rings, and then he picks up, "Dad,"

"Jayda!" he says. I hear my mom's voice in the background also; they both try to talk to me at once; I can't understand what they're saying.

"I'm fine. I'm fine. What's taking so long? I saw the cops outside. Why haven't they come in?"

"They can't come in; they can't get the damn doors unlocked," My father answers, frustrated. In the background, I hear the sheriff he asks to speak to me.

I'd rather not talk to him, but considering the circumstances, I have to. "Jayda, where are you?" he asks.

"The basement,"

"Do you know how many people are hurt or injured?"

"Uhm, my friend Violet is hurt; she was shot in the stomach," I don't even know if she is still alive. "Some are alive; they barricaded themselves in the classrooms. There were more than a dozen kids in the hallway but there all dead,"

The line goes silent, and then he tells me he is putting the phone on speaker for the other officers to hear. "Can you confirm that the shooter is Robert Cade?"

"Uhhh, yes, but-" Before I can add anything else, he tells someone that I confirmed that it is him.

"Swat is on their way; there's not enough time to get the doors open, so we have to use different measures."

"What measures?" I ask. His walkie goes off, and someone on the other end says that they have a visual on him at the east side of the building's fourth floor. No. "No, you can't shoot him,"

"He is murdering innocent kids,"

"They're far from innocent," I snap. "You can't kill him; he's just a kid too, and he's confused,"

"My job is to get the rest of you out safe and alive; I will do what I have to do in order for that to happen, now stay put. Swat will be there twenty,"

He gives the phone back to my parents. "Jayda, please don't do anything stupid,"

They know me too well. "You have to do something; they can't kill him. He's my friend," Even though he has killed a lot of people, he is still my friend; I know deep down he is a good person.

"Jayda, there is nothing we can do," he says. I guess he can't pay his way out of this one. "Just think of all these parents out here who are expecting their kid to walk through those doors; they aren't, maybe this is for the best,"

"No, they don't have to kill him! He needs help! He doesn't deserve to die!"

"Jayda-" My mom chimes in before she says more. I hang up the phone.

Robert doesn't deserve to die. He was the oppressor he was bullied; something must have happened to push him over the edge, to cause him to do something like this. No one just wakes up and decides to shoot up their school.

Kids do constantly get mistreated and bullied, and picked on for years. Teachers don't do anything; staff doesn't do anything. So should we really fault them for taking matters into their own hands and killing the oppressors? Yes. We should. There's no reason to kill anyone no matter what they do to you, but some people see no other way out. The school doesn't take action, so they feel as though they have to themselves.

The other day when he tried to talk to me and Ryder pulled me away. Robert was trying to tell me something, maybe talk to me about something that had happened. But I didn't listen. I just went off with Ryder and allowed my problems to forsake the real budding problem, the more severe problem in front of me.

So the way I see it, this is my fault. Not Roberts. I have to fix my mistake.

I quickly hurry up the basement stairs and then to the stairwell, running up to the fourth floor; once I get to the second floor, my legs already burn.

I push past the pain and finally arrive at the fourth floor. I hear one gunshot, and then some cries and again more pleading asking Robert not to do this. Another gunshot is fired. I stand with my back against the wall. I know I need to show myself, but it's like I'm glued here; what if I startle him and he shoots me? This would all be for nothing.

I hear Matt's voice, he asks Robert to stop, and Robert yells, telling him to shut up. Then I hear Ashely asking him not to do this. He found her. Crap. I rest my head against the wall. Jessica appears against, "Just forget it, get out of here, go back down to the basement and wait,"

"I can't do that!" I say softly.

"Why not? It's Ashely and Matt; let's just say karma's a bitch,"

"You were just asking me to save her; now you want me to leave her?" She's so confusing.

"Your life isn't worth hers," she says. "You're a good person she is not,"

My eyes wander to the window. I spot a man in all black in the building across from us; a green dot hits my chest. Oh no. "Jayda, you have to get out of here,"

"I can't let him die; I can't just let them die," My breathing picks up, and then, without thinking, I show myself. "Robert," He points the gun at me and shoots.

My eyes screw shut as I wait for the pain and sudden death; instead, I just feel a sting at my head. I reach up and touch the cut. It grazed me. Are you freaking kidding me? A grazed bullet wound to the head—the warm blood slides down the side, and I wipe it away.

"Jayda," he narrows his eyes. "Wha- What are you do- doing here?"

I look at the boy, who's watching me intensely. Ryder. Hands behind his head. He doesn't even look scared; he looks almost disappointed, I see him slowly shake his head, and with his eye, he is telling me to leave. Now that he's here, I for sure am not leaving.

"You shou- shouldn't be here, Jayda," Robert says, pointing the gun at Mia's. I keep my hands in the air.

"You have to listen to me the-"

"No! You shouldn't be here. I made su- sure y- you weren't here before I started,"

He planned this from the very beginning. The text, me finding his phone. He locked the doors. He used to volunteer in the main office, so he would know how to control everything. "I came back; I didn't know. Even if I did, I would've come back to stop you,"

"You can't stop me; it's too late," He presses the gun to her head.

"No!" Mia begins to cry even harder. "You can't kill her,"

"Why not?"

"She's new Robert; she's has nothing to do with any of this!" It isn't a coincidence, Matt, Ashely, and Ryder are lined up. The two other people beside them shot and dead are others that were a part of the elite.

"But she's with him," he turns the gun to Ryder.

"And so was I. Are you going to shoot me too?"

"Of course not!" he says like it's unthinkable. "I would never hurt you. Your nothing like them, your nothing like any of us, your good,"

I laugh though this is probably not the time to be laughing, "I am nowhere near good, Robert, I have done bad things," If only he knew.

"Well, you don't deserve to die for them; they do, and everyone who's with them," he points the gun back at her again.

"Mia... Mia," she looks at me. "Name the worst thing Ryder has done?"

"What?" her words shake, and I repeat what I said, "I don't know,"

"Name the worst thing he has said to you, or you heard him say to anyone,"

She thinks about it and then says, "I've never heard or seen him do anything wrong,"

"Exactly," I look back at Robert. "She doesn't know him, the real him, but you and I do; I'm sure we can name for hours all the bad things he has said and done," It hurts me to say these things because I know that that isn't him anymore, he has really come along way, well with other people, he still from time to time says hurtful things to me, but he definitely treats people differently now. "Please just let her go,"

He looks back at Mia and then says, "Go," nodding to the left. She slowly gets up from the ground. I nod; she turns around and runs down the hallway from the ticking time bomb: one down, three more to go. I have no idea how and the hell I'm supposed to save them.

Some sins are just unforgivable.

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