As always, the day has flown by in what seemed to be a matter of minutes. It's lunchtime; I'm in the library at the computer working on my essays for the list of colleges Ms.Rodriguez compiled for me. She provided ten colleges, but I'm only working on the first four today.

Howard University.

FAMU.

Cal State Los Angeles.

And the University of Georgia.

If I had to choose any of these, it would be Cal State Los Angeles, mostly because it's the cheapest, and since I am not using my parent's funds or my trust fund to pay for school, money will be tight for the first five years of my adulthood.

I'm okay with that; this surge of independence I am gaining is rejuvenating. I'm doing everything on my own by myself. Slowly I am accomplishing things and setting up my life; for the first time in forever, I am actually excited for the future.

The prompt I am working on is Overcoming a Life-Changing Obstacle.

You would think this would be easy for me, after everything I have ever been through, but it's not. I've been through too much; I don't even know where to begin.

Ryder POV

She takes me in, all the way with her mouth with her hands wrapped around me; "Fuck," I groan and then release into her mouth just like she likes it. I remove my hand from her head; she removes her mouth and wipes the corner.

"You feel better," Ashley asks while pulling her bottom lip between her teeth.

I zip up my zipper, "Yeah," No, but at least it took my mind off Jayda for a few minutes. Sorta. The arousal moment I just experienced was not as good as it usually is. Every time I close my fucking eyes, I see her. Even when getting head, all I can picture is her; nothing I do erases her from my thoughts.

Especially after that kissed we shared a week ago, it was the most electrifying thing I ever felt in my entire life. I've kissed quite a few people, but I have never experienced anything like that before.

The sense of familiarity when her lips met mine like we have known each other in past lives. There's a memory in my head that, I know, never happened in this life, so I'm forced to believe it happened in the past. I just have no idea when.

"Earth to Ryder," The blonde girl waves her hand in my face. I break away from my thoughts and look at her, "Are you okay?"

"Like you care," I snarl.

"I do care, I care about you, Ryder,"

I stare at the girl I have known since we were kids and then look away, "Whatever," we were sitting out in the school's parking lot, it's lunch right now, but I didn't want to go because I didn't want to see Jayda. Obviously, she doesn't want to see me either after the events that happen this morning. She couldn't even look at me.

I'm an idiot for saying that shit to her. What the fuck was I thinking? I was hurt that she said she didn't love me back, yes. But I still shouldn't have said the shit I said. Her not loving me was understandable; she had no idea how I felt; I just sprung it on her. I said I would never hurt her with my words again, yet I did. Idiot.

"So for your return, we are going to have a party tonight at the dinner, at 6pm,"

"I'm okay," I hate parties; she knows this.

She frowns, "You have to come; it's for you!"

"I didn't ask for it,"

"Matt planned it,"

"I don't give a fuck," This party is a sympathy party; I don't want people to pity me. Coach announced to the team that I would not be playing for the rest of the year; even though I told my doctors, parents, and him I was good, they still refused to let me finish training. The season is over, but because most of us are going to college to play football, we continue training for the rest of the year in preparation for the three-week football camp colleges offer over the summer.

The UCLA coach said that they would hold my spot at the camp and on the team and then reevaluate me at the end of the school year to determine if they will give me the position.

If they decide to not give it to me, I will have to go to school somewhere else for something else. The only reason I'm even being considered for UCLA is because of football; it sure as hell isn't for my grades and test scores. I'm passing with a C average, and I scored 900 on the SAT.

"So are you really not going to come to the party, everyone will be there?" she says, persuasive.

No one I care about.

"Even Jayda," she adds.

"What?"

"Oh, you didn't hear; I thought she would've told you," she laughs. "The bitch works there now,"

My hands bawl into a fist, and my body twitches at the name she just called her, "Since when?" I ask, trying to move on. There's nothing I can do with her being a girl and all.

"I don't know, a few weeks, I think."

Why the hell is she working at the diner? Why the fuck is she working in general? She's rich. "I'll be there," I say. If she doesn't willingly talk to me at least there, she will have to, since it's her job to talk to customers.

Jayda POV

"Long time no see," Rachel says, happy to see me. I smile and then take a seat in the cozy black chair. "So tell me, what's been going on?"

I shrug, "Nothing much,"

She gives me this look saying since when has nothing been going on in your life.

"So work, how is the job?"

"It's going good so far; I have some money saved out," Five hundred dollars, it's not a lot, but it's something.

"Okay, you also mentioned last time we talked about colleges. Have you applied to any yet?"

"Nope, just working on the essays," I tell her.

She nods and then copies what I am telling her onto her notepad, "Caleb?"

Damn, I knew she was going to ask about him, "We broke up," I say bland with no emotion,

Her eyes widen, "Really, why?"

I explain to her the events that lead to our break up, leaving out me being part of the reason his sister is dead and the kiss with Ryder. She then asks about my Christmas and what I did; I tell her the horrible events of the Christmas party and how I had a panic attack and felt like I was about to die while there.

"So no relapse?" she asks, not hiding the shock.

I shake my head, "No, almost but no," It feels good to say that.

"Well Jayda, I am proud, really all that's happened, and you didn't relapse, no drinking no drugs no cutting," she smiles. "I'm really proud; with that being said, how would you feel about changing your session to once a week instead of every other day?"

"Once a week?"

"Yes,"

That would be one less thing I have to worry about, and I can go to work earlier, that way I don't have to stay so late. "I guess that's fine,"

"Great, I'll put you down for Fridays," she takes a note of that on her pad, "We only have a few minutes left. Is there anything else you want to talk about?"

I pick at the skin around my nails and keep my hands in my lap. "I uh, I did have a question,"

"Okay,"

"ADHD? What is it? I mean, I know what it is but like can you explain it to me a little more?"

"Sure," she sits the notepad on the coffee table in front of us and then sits up straight in her chair, "ADHD is short for Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder; ADHD can start in childhood and even go into adulthood," she explains.

"I like to say ADHD is like the cousin to Bipolar Disorder because they mimic each a lot, it's hard for physiologists to decipher if a patient has ADHD or Bipolar, a lot of the time the two disorders are misdiagnosed,"

My brain soaks in the information she is giving me, "So, a person with ADHD, how are they?"

"Limited attention span, difficulty focusing, horrible grades, this is where the bipolar kind of crosses over, because of the jumbled thoughts and not being able to focus this sometimes, causes the person to be aggressive, angry, Uhm, impulsive, which leads to recklessness," She stops, but I'm sure the list goes on,

"Picture it like this. You know how in bingo you have the spinner with the little balls?"

"Yeah,"

"Imagine that spinner going around and around, and around and around, every day all day, now imagine that as your brain. These balls move at a fast pace, not being stopped or controlled; that's the impulsiveness and the jumbled thoughts. Imagined being scattered brained every day for the rest of your life,"

"Sound frustrating," I don't know if I could live with my brain going 100 miles per hour, every day, all day.

"It is this is where the bipolar mimicking comes in. Because of this frustrating behavior, people with ADHD become aggressive, more impulsive like saying things without thinking, saying whatever comes to their head, being short-tempered," she says. "A Lot of people with ADHD have trouble keeping relationships because of this. Sometimes they ruin these relationships themselves. Other times there significant other or friends and family just don't want to have anything to do with them,"

I sigh. "Does medication help with this?"

She nods, "Some occasions, as you know, medication doesn't work for everyone, but Adderall has proved to be the most efficient; it helps with alot of other disorders, also not just ADHD," she informs. "But people with ADHD will still have most of the symptoms. It's just not as bad; it balances them out to make everything a little more controllable, you know?"

"Mhm,"

"With the proper treatment and proper support system, they'll be fine," she watches me as I twist my edges, a nervous action I do, "Why do you ask?"

I shrug, "Just curious,"

~~~

(Very informative chapter hope you all learned something, the fact that I can count on my hands and toes all the people who I know get bullied for having ADHD is ridiculous! I was bullied my whole 6th-grade year for having it!)