Ian was able to leave the hospital by the end of the week, so as we could properly mourn little Ian at the local cemetery. Fiona, Lip, Debbie, Carl, and Liam were all in attendance as well, and I was shocked when Josh unexpectedly showed up. I handed over my keys to Ian as soon as the ceremony was over, telling him I would be along in a moment. We exchanged a knowing glance before I stepped towards Josh, and, thankfully, the rest of my siblings took a hint and slipped away from the two of us.

"I'm so sorry about everything, Murphy," Josh said gently, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. "How are you holding up?" he asked.

I smiled. "It's getting better. I think the whole family support system is something that really works for me, you know?"

Josh nodded. "Your file says you were adopted at three months?"

I gave a slight nod at that. "Yeah. I didn't find my biological family until August of this year and it was quite a shock."

"You never expected so many siblings?"

"Or a twin," I replied, laughing, before remembering why Josh and I were here, and I forced the smile from my lips.

Josh stepped forward then, his dark brown eyes looking genuinely concerned as he took my hand in his, and I couldn't deny the notion that my heartbeat quickened. "You okay?" he asked, his voice quiet, and his tone sincere.

"Mmm-hmm," I replied, my eyes locking onto his, trying to remember how to breathe. "I'm fine, Josh, really..."

Josh sighed. "I hate to ask, but... Is the father involved?" he asks, his eyes lowering to my stomach, which had continued to grow by the day. "I mean, if he is, I don't want to just step in and ruin anything..."

I shook my head. "It was a one-night-stand," I reply. "An ex of someone I know—it's not important to go into the details. He's out of the country, and he's likely to stay there."

"For work?"

"For protection," I reply. "He's...wanted, up here. And, given my loyalty to this baby, I don't think I should get into details."

Josh nodded. "I understand," he replied. "But... There's nothing between you?"

I shook my head. "Other than a few fleeting minutes of what I hope was drunken passion, no. I can honestly say there's nothing between me and him."

Josh let go of my hand then, hesitating, before bringing his hand up to my face, where he gently brushed his knuckles against my cheek. He trailed his thumb along my bottom lip, and, although I found a part of me wanted to, I didn't respond orally to it, but physically—that was another matter entirely. Josh's eyes widened then when my entire body seemed to spasm at his touch, and his eyes locked to mine again.

He quickly moved to withdraw his hand. "I'm sorry..."

"Don't be," I replied, reaching out and returning his hand to my face. "Look, I know it's complicated—me being pregnant and all—and I won't ask for anything, really..."

Josh smiled. "Well, maybe after the baby's born, if you want to get together sometime, I would be open for that."

I returned his smile then. "I would like that."

Josh kept right on smiling, leaning in and kissing my cheek. "Well, I guess I'll end up seeing you around the hospital—"

"Murphy!" we heard from behind us then, and, turning, I saw Lip coming towards us in the speed that was considered just top for a cemetery.

"Lip?" I asked. "Something wrong?"

"I think Liam's getting sick or something," Lip replied, giving Josh a heated look. "Fiona wants to get him home..."

"Right. Of course," I replied, quickly moving a respectable distance away from Josh.

"Anything I can do to help?" Josh asked.

Lip immediately shook his head, putting an arm around my shoulders. "We've got it covered," he replied stoutly, before moving me back towards my car.

"Is Liam okay?" I asked, once we were about halfway back to the car.

Lip shook his head, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it up. "Fuck if I know. I just made that shit up so we could get the hell outta here."

"Wait. You fucking lied?!" I demanded, pushing away from him. I hesitated for a moment before grabbing his cigarette and smashing it with my foot.

"What the fuck, Murph?!" Lip demanded.

"Second-hand smoke is bad for the baby, you shithead!" I said, looking at him as if he was fucking crazy. Turning, I saw that Josh had since gotten into his car, and was pulling towards one of the entrances of the cemetery. "Josh is my fucking doctor—"

Lip shrugged, looking as if he would light another cigarette, but decided better of it and shoved the box back into his pocket. "Not from where I'm standing."

"Excuse me?" I said, my tone low but deadly.

Lip made a face. "He was acting totally unprofessional, running his hands all over you like you're for sale—"

"And why the hell should you even give a fuck, Lip?" I said, shaking my head at him. "I'm getting so tired of this bullshit—I don't need you fucking protecting me every time something doesn't go your way!" I stepped closer to him then, knowing that it was unwise, but I didn't want Jesus, Mary, and Joseph hearing our conversation. "Look, Lip—I know these last several months have been hard for you. I mean, please, they've been hard for me, too. But you know where the two of us stand—"

Lip grabbed my wrist then as he stared down at me, his eyes taking on more pain than I'd ever seen in my life. "You love me," he whispered. "I know you love me, Murphy. And I know you want to be with me."

"Lip, stop—"

"We could go somewhere where nobody knows who we are," he said, his tone shaking. "We could make a new life for ourselves—you, me, the baby—and nobody would fucking know where we were or where we came from—"

"Lip, I don't—"

"I know you're scared, Murph," Lip said, leaning in closer then, as if he would kiss me. "But so am I, and I know we can make it work—"

I pulled at my arm then, but Lip had it in a vice-like grip and wouldn't let me go. "Lip, please, you have to stop this. Let me go, now! Let go!"

"Lip!" Ian shouted then, getting out of the car and running over, which couldn't have been good for any of his injuries. "Get the fuck off her!" he yelled, shoving Lip away from me, and moving to stand between us, facing Lip, and placing a hand on my left arm, to ward off any blows Lip may have thrown our way.

"Hey, hey, what the hell's going on?!" Fiona demanded, getting out of the car, and leaving Debbie to watch Liam and Franny.

"Tell Lip to keep his fucking hands off Murphy!" Ian shouted.

Fiona looked over at Lip in disbelief. "I thought you had a handle on this," she said to him, her voice low, but her tone severe.

Lip ran his hands over his face. "Yeah, I thought I did, too. But then that fucking doctor was running his hands all over her—"

"Why don't you mind your own goddamn business?!" I yelled, and I raised my eyebrows at the hurt that radiated from Lip's eyes to mine. "Lip... You need to stop this," I said quietly, my tone softening. "Really. It's enough now."

"Murphy's right," Ian said, angling himself so that his arm was now around my shoulders. "I mean, come on, Lip. She's our fucking sister."

"Your goddamn right," Fiona said, nodding at Lip. "Murphy is our sister, and you've got to get this idea outta your head that you two can be more than that, because it just can't happen. I know it's hard, but you need to accept that."

Lip shook his head. "I'm such a mess..."

"You're a Gallagher," said a voice, and I was shocked to find that the voice was mine. "I mean, aren't we all fucking messes in one way or another?"

"Murphy's right. Nobody's perfect, Lip," Ian said quietly.

"I just I just need to get out of my head for a while, you know?" he asked.

"But safely," Fiona cautioned.

"Yeah," Lip said, slowly walking towards one of the entrances of the cemetery. "Maybe... But, right now, I'm going to get on a train, and do some thinking," he said.

"Lip, maybe you shouldn't—" I began.

"I just need some time, Murphy," Lip said firmly, and left us standing by my car.

. . .

Christmas vacation for the firm was now in full swing as the rest of the week seemed to drift by, and I spent much time on my computer ordering gifts for my entire family. I was pleased to see, as the holiday preparations continued, that Ian and Trevor were finally on the same page again, and I noticed that Ian was relieved that Trevor and I were as well. The main gift I had for the entire family would be revealing the gender of the baby, which, of course, I had to have a conversation with Debbie about as December wore on...

"I just think gender reveal parties are tacky," I said, shrugging my shoulders.

Debbie crossed her arms then as Franny crawled between us on the couch, considering which Gallagher's lap she would invade next. "What did you intend on doing?"

"I don't know," I said. "Showing off the latest ultrasound and just saying it on Christmas morning, after the presents are opened?"

"No way," she said, shaking her head. "There has to be a cake with pink or blue frosting, or something... It's not October, so we can't do pumpkins... Or maybe you could have two mock Christmas gifts and you and Ian could each unwrap one, and if they're filled with pink or blue something—"

"Why do you assume Ian would even want to be a part of this?"

"Part of what?" Ian asked, descending the stairs with Trevor, who had spent the night again. Ian smiled at the two of us, kissing our foreheads in turn before lifting up Franny, while Trevor grinned at us all from the kitchen. "You talking about me?"

I shrugged. "Debbie wants to have a gender reveal party," I said, knowing that I had to say my next piece. "Of course, I'm all for knowing the doctor's opinion, but I'm considering an alternative approach, where I'll listen to the baby once he or she or they is old enough to understand and go from there."

"So, sort of gender neutral?" Trevor asked, stepping forward.

I nodded. "Of course. But am I going to dress her in pink until she tells me no, or in adorable blue overalls until he says no? Admittedly, yes," I replied.

Trevor grinned. "Well, before they can talk, I say just give them as much love as you can. From there, listen to them when they can speak for themselves."

"So, is a gender reveal party okay?" Debbie asked.

I sighed. "Debbie, this is my baby, and I really think—"

"How do I factor into all of this?" Ian asked.

"Well," Debbie said, grinning at Ian, "I was thinking we could have, like, mock Christmas presents, filled with either pink or blue ribbon, and you and Murphy would open them after we did Christmas presents!"

"I thought I said that we wouldn't be doing—" I began again.

"That sounds like fun," Ian said, turning to Trevor. "What do you think?"

"I think that it's Murphy's baby, and if she doesn't want a party, then she shouldn't have to have one," Trevor replied. "Of course, if she wants one, that's a different story."

"Mine wasn't very good, because Fiona didn't approve of any of it," Debbie said quietly, in a voice that I knew was meant to sway me.

"Fine," I grumbled, leaning back against the couch, arms crossed. "We'll have the effing party, okay, Debbie?!"

Debbie clapped her hands. "Yay! I'll get in touch with one of those places, and then you can let the doctor know where you want the gender information sent."

"Sex," Trevor, Ian, and I said at the same time.

"Whatever they're calling it these days," Debbie said as she rolled her eyes, already scrolling through her phone. She then grabbed Franny a few moments later before she headed out into the falling snow.

"Ugh," I say through my teeth, moving to get to my feet, and am shocked when Ian and Trevor immediately step forward to help me up. "Oh, what gentleman," I said, leaning in and kissing them both of the cheek before heading into the kitchen.

"Want me to make you something?" Ian asked.

I turn around and smile at him. "That's sweet, but I'm fine, really."

"Your hands aren't tired from all the Christmas shopping?" Trevor asks.

I laugh as I turn to Trevor and grin. "If that's a cleverly contrived way of asking me if I bought you a Christmas present, yes. Yes, I did."

"All right," Trevor said, smiling and turning to Ian. "Told you."

"Just hope she didn't buy you something too intimate," Ian replied.

I smirked at the notion of it, walking over to the oven where I'd put some cookies in a while ago, and bent to pull them out. "What's considered too inappropriate?" I asked, placing the cookie sheet on the stove and turning to look at them.

Trevor lowered his eyes. "Well..."

"That's the thing..." Ian said quietly.

I felt my brows knit together. "Am I missing something here? Did I say something wrong?" I ask, looking from one to the other. "Jesus, it's not like I'd buy you sex toys, for Christ's sake, guys! I'm a little more sensitive than that..."

Trevor's eyes immediately lock to Ian's. "You tell her?"

Ian shook his head. "No, man, I swear!"

I sighed, pulling off the oven mits. "If this is about Trevor being trans," I say, and both of them whip around to look at me, "I already knew."

Trevor gave a nod. "Who told you? Lip?"

"No," I replied, shaking my head. "Jeez, I may have lost my physical virginity to my brother, but I'm not totally clueless when it comes to other things."

"How did you find out?" Ian asked.

I made a face, feeling guilty. "Remember that day you were working a double, before the accident, and I surprised you by cleaning the house?"

"Yeah," Ian replied.

"Well, I cleaned your room, and you hadn't emptied your trash," I say, my eyes slowly drifting towards Trevor. "I wasn't snooping, I swear. I took your trash outside and a pill bottle came out of the mix, and it landed face-up."

"What was it?" Trevor asked.

"Testosterone, with your name on it," I replied. "I swear, I haven't said anything, but now, I figured, it would be nice to say that I know," I went on, stepping forward and placing my hand on his shoulder, "and I don't fucking care. You care about my brother, and that's all that matters to me Trevor. I could care less if your skin were green—none of it matters to me. Besides," I said, grinning at them both, "wielding a cock can be fun."

Ian's eyes popped. "Wait, you and Jessica?"

I nodded. "Yeah," I said, shrugging. "Kinda fun, once you get used to it."

"Giving or receiving?" Trevor asked.

"Giving, always giving," I replied. "I guess a little part of me didn't want to get too close to anyone, considering I never let her use any of her toys on me, or her hands," I said with a small laugh at the notion of it. "Just my way of keeping a wall up and protecting myself, I guess, and the best way I knew how was to keep her at arm's length whenever we were in public. Sounds stupid now, considering how much I loved her, but..." I shrug.

"Ian's given me the abridged version," Trevor said quietly, "about what Dr. Jackass ended up putting you through."

I smirked. "Dr. Normal."

"Nah, Dr. Jackass seems more appropriate," Trevor said with a grin. "Given what I know, I can imagine what else there is, but I don't want to."

"Given your job with Children of the Night?" I ask.

Trevor nodded. "I've heard and seen it all, or at least I think I have, and then I get another phone call that shocks me to no end."

I bite my lip, lifting up my sweater and shirt and showing the mark of the belt buckle—Dr. Normal's belt buckle. "These things normally don't last as long," I said softly as Ian looked away in anger, and as Trevor stared at it.

"I've seen marks like that before," Trevor said, looking horrified. "How long ago did the son of a bitch give that to you?"

I sighed, lowering my shirt. "It was four, five years ago now..."

Trevor sighed. "Usually marks that bad only stay for that long if the buckle itself has been lit before it makes contact with the skin."

I gave a jerk of a nod. "You're not wrong."

"That fucking psycho branded you?!" Ian demanded.

I sighed. "It is what it is, Ian. After he caught us, and beat me, he left me in my room for three days—sent a letter to my college that I had mono. He then proceeded to make me do my homework for the next week and a half without food, and only gave me water once a day. Then, he gave me a choice—he could mark me, and I could go, or I could stay unmarked, but then stay in my room forever."

"You chose to be marked?" Trevor asked.

I nodded. "Yeah, knowing that I could escape eventually was hope I held onto. And even though he wasn't feeding me, I spent time out of the line of sight of the camera, just training. I knew that if he didn't let me go after the burning, I had to be ready to fight him. I was prepared to kill him, but it didn't come to that, thankfully."

"Thankfully?!" Ian screamed, looking as if he wanted to reach out to me, but was shaking at the notion of it all that he held his ground. "That bastard deserved to die!"

I shook my head. "Ian, Dr. Normal had all the right friends in all the right places, meaning that he could've had them turn on me at any moment. It would've meant life in prison, or a mental hospital, likely the same one I'd spent time in. No way in hell I was going to risk that, and once he let me go, I made too many excuses to count on not going back."

"This is bullshit," Ian muttered.

"Hey," I said, stepping forward. "I am fine. I still get dark days sometimes—you know that, and I know that, and Trevor knows that—but the most important thing now is to remember that that's not my life anymore."

"She's safe, man," Trevor said, placing his hand upon Ian's shoulder. "Murphy's safe, here with you, and she's not going anywhere."

"I am not going anywhere, Ian," I said firmly. "I'm staying here. The baby and I are staying here, and nothing could make me leave."

"Not even Josh?" Ian asked.

I smiled. "No. I don't even think Josh is the one. We're going to see where it goes after the baby is born but, ultimately..." I shrugged. "I think I want to have a little fun and fool around a bit before I commit to anything. I'm still young, and although this baby will be my main priority, I'll still devote some time for myself."

Trevor put his free hand upon my shoulder and nodded his head. "There's nothing wrong with that, Murph," he replied.

"Just..." Ian hesitated for a moment. "Just don't pull a Monica," he said quietly. "Getting high and just up and leaving."

I shook my head at him, closing the distance between us and hugging him. "I am not Monica, Ian—I didn't even meet the woman who was our mother, and I sure as hell didn't need to, in order to know the hell she put you all through. I deserved a seventh of that hell, Ian, and I'm so sorry I wasn't there to bear it."

Ian held me in his arms then, his body language telling me he was reluctant to let go. "You're not going to go?"

"No," I said quietly. "I'm not going to go."

. . .

That Friday was my ultrasound, and I'd already told the doctor to send the information to the company that Debbie had found to reveal the sex of the baby. I was relieved that she had given them my number, and I was permitted to design the boxes for the revealing. Once the quick phone conversation was over, I gave them the address of the house before hanging up. I arrived at the hospital on Friday morning solo, as Ian was pulling in as many shifts as he could to ensure a good amount of time off in anticipation of Christmas.

"Good morning, Murphy," the tech said, leading me back. "Solo today?"

"My brother's an EMT, so he's working a double," I explained as I was led to the darkened room, where the machine was all set up. "He wants good time off for Christmas."

"Sounds reasonable," the tech answered, motioning for me to get on the table. She heated the goo like the previous time, before instructing me to roll up my shirt accordingly, exposing my stomach, which was still popping in the dead center of my stomach, and placed the wand in a good spot. "I heard about your miscarriage, Murphy," she said quietly. "I'm so sorry that we were unable to detect a twin."

I shook my head. "That's all right," I replied. "I'm just hoping that this one manages to stick around for oh, I don't know, eighty or ninety years..."

"Let's have a look," the tech replied, typing in some codes before the screen flickered to life, and a baby lay inside my womb upon it. "There's the baby," she said with a smile. "I received your information for the gender reveal company. You would like me to send it to them, and then they will send it to your house. Is that correct?"

I nodded, only having eyes for the screen. "That's correct," I reply. "Is the baby okay?" I asked, my voice soft. "Is it healthy?"

The tech smiled. "Your baby looks exceptionally healthy, Murphy," she replied. Flicking a switch, the fluttering, whooshing sound of the heartbeat filled the room, which quickly brought tears to my eyes.

"Wow," I whispered.

I instructed the technician to put the photographs into an envelope, which I would put into my purse for now and then find somewhere to hide them in anticipation of the reveal in the next few days. I was pleased for, the following day, I was going to get the elastics off from Frank breaking my jaw. I'd healed nicely, and would've taken them off myself if it weren't for various forums online telling me not to.

I went to the surgeon the following afternoon, and it was quite a weird procedure to say the least, with latex making contact with my tongue at every turn as the doctor fished in there to remove all the elastics taking up space in my mouth. After paying the man, I left the hospital, crunching through the snow in my snow boots and getting to my car as quickly as possible. I managed to get out of parking lot and into the line of traffic, the snow-covered roads were cautious but not dangerous as I continued through the slush.

As I drove, a familiar figure walked along the sidewalk, and I was shocked to see that it was Lip walking there. Pulling along to the side of the road, I rolled down my window, knowing that, ultimately, it was the right thing to do. "Lip!" I called out. "Lip!"

Lip turned around at the sight of my voice. "Hey, Murph."

I sighed. "Get in the car, Lip. It's fucking freezing."

Lip sighed back, but moved to get in the car. He slid in, cold air seeping off him as I rolled the window back up and drove on. "Thanks."

I nodded. "No problem—I'm your sister," I said, flashing him a smile.

Lip's mouth resembled a hard line then. "Right."

"Look, Lip, this isn't going to be easy, considering that we were, in technical terms, dating," I say, and Lip lowers his eyes. "But I just want you to know that this is just as difficult for me as it is for you, because you know how hard I fell for you," I said gently, breaking my rule of not talking about it ever again.

Lip sighed. "I know. I fell hard, too, Murph."

"I just want you to know that, if I hadn't found out the information, then I wouldn't have run to Mexico, or changed a thing," I said quietly.

"Is that a backhanded way of saying that you and I would still be together, and that the baby would be my baby?"

"I'm not saying it is, and I'm not saying it isn't."

Lip nodded. "I'll take what I can get."

"Heard you knew about Trevor," I said quietly, making conversation.

"Oh, yeah?" he asked, his tone considerably lighter. "He tell you?"

I shook my head, stopping at a traffic light. "No. I already knew."

"You did? When did you find out?"

"Couple weeks before the breakdown," I replied, pulling through the intersection. "Ian and I have more in common than I thought at first glance."

"Yeah?" Lip asked, turning to look at me for a moment as he absorbed the information. "How do you mean?"

"He told me that he started cleaning up Mickey's house a few years back, before you all had him committed," I replied. "Wanted to organize all his shit or something, I don't know..."

"And you did that?" Lip asked.

I nodded. "I did, and I made the mistake of cleaning Ian's room."

"Find something?"

I sighed. "Let's just say that I found something that made me connect the dots, but out of respect, I won't say what it was."

Lip grinned then, leaning back in the seat. "It was a fake cock, wasn't it?"

I threw up my hands. "Oh, my god! You're disgusting! They're not so bad, you know," I said, and turned to look at Lip for a moment.

"What?" he asked.

I shrugged. "I may have physically lost my virginity to you, Lip, but on an emotional level, well, it was to someone else."

"Who was it?"

"My ex, I guess," I said, shrugging. "She and I never really said where we stood. I think she wanted more than I did."

"Whoa. A chick?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Pretty great, huh?"

"So, you were the dominant one?"

I shrugged. "I...guess? If you want to be that black and white about it."

Lip shrugged back. "Can't say I know much about it, really..."

I raised my eyebrows as we turned onto our street. "You've never watched fucking porn?" I asked, finding that I was laughing.

"Of course I have—I'm a young man in America."

"And there's my answer," I replied, pulling up outside the house. "Coming in?"

Lip sighed. "Don't know if I should...given what happened..."

I reached out and placed my hand on his shoulder. "Lip, you're our brother, and it's the fucking holiday season. Get your ass inside before I kick it there."

Lip laughed. "Okay, you twisted my arm," he replied, opening his door and walking arm in arm with me, through the snow, up to the house.

. . .

We Gallagher's sure knew how to put a holiday on, and that Christmas was no exception. After spending nearly an hour opening our presents and then figuring out if we'd actually opened all our gifts, Debbie got to her feet. Dreading what was coming, I attempted to shrink behind Ian, but Ian hauled me to my feet to stand beside Debbie. I rolled my eyes, especially seeing that Debbie had prepared a speech for the occasion.

"Attention everyone," Debbie said. "As you all know, Murphy has just begun her twenty-first week of being pregnant. As some of you do not know, twenty weeks is the usual marker to figure out what the sex of your baby is," she said, stressing the word, and Ian, Trevor, and I grinned at one another. "So, without further ado, Murphy and Ian will proceed."

I sighed, moving with Ian to the coffee table, where the specially designed mock presents had been placed by my just a few moments ago, so as to avoid confusion. "The indicator said we just lift up the lid of the box," I explained to Ian. "The bows are just for show."

Ian nodded. "Got it."

I inhaled an exhaled, my fingers primed to lift the lid. "Okay," I said, and heard Debbie pressing the record button upon her phone before I turned to Ian. "Let's go!"

At the same time, Ian and I lifted the lids of our boxes, which were each filled with an abundance of pink ribbon. It took for a moment for me to fully register it, but then Ian and I were grabbing it by the handful, like there was no tomorrow, and throwing it around the room. He and I cheered aloud then, and he threw his arms around me in a moment of joy.

"It's a girl!" we shouted together. "It's a girl!"

"Aww, yay!" Debbie cried. "Franny, you're getting a playmate!"

I rolled my eyes in a sarcastic manner, placing my hands upon my stomach. "Well, Baby Girl Gallagher," I said softly, "guess I need to start calling you by your name now..."

"You've picked a name?" Fiona asked.

I nodded. "Yeah. Ian knows the name I chose," I said, and he placed a comforting arm around my shoulder as I faced them then. "Everyone, I've decided that the baby's name is Iana Phillipa Gallagher," I said, my voice prouder than it had ever been in my entire life. "After my two brothers, whom I never could've gone through this crazy journey without. We may have had our differences, but they've only made us stronger. Merry Christmas!" I said, and Ian pulled me into a hug first, followed by Fiona, Trevor, Debbie and Franny, Liam, and then Lip.

You could've heard a pin drop during our embrace, but he pulled back at an appropriate moment and kissed me on the cheek without any false pretenses. "Good on you, sis," he said, and I found myself breaking out into a smile at his words.

We were now, officially-officially, on our way.