35. As Early as Possible
I'd witnessed varying degrees of anger.
It was an emotion I'd grown accustomed to over the years, but, somehow, the amount I saw in West's eyes was greater than all the other degrees I'd seen.
He looked more than furious, and Jamie not doing as he said didn't help.
The latter fixed me with a look, his softened eyes piercing through mine like he was trying to tell me something he knew I would never understand. I felt like I used to when my mom would tell me something in Japanese; I'd know that whatever it meant was serious even though I didn't completely understand her.
"Do you want me to?" he asked me, and for a moment, I was a little lost.
But then I remembered West's order, and it made sense. I looked at West again and saw that look still present in his eyes as he lingered by the door, like he wasn't fully convinced he wanted to be here. Even though he was angry, I could tell he was silently begging me to come with him.
So I gave Jamie a nod, causing him to pull away from me with a smile of disbelief.
"You know what?" he told me, folding his arms over his chest and sitting on the edge of the desk behind him. "You don't need to know. Go with him, you're good at that."
"Kimie, we're leaving," West said from the door, sounding impatient.
Jamie gestured to him with his chin. "You heard him."
"I still want to talk to you," I finally said, surprised at the strength of my voice.
"Kimie," West warned, moving further into the room. I could smell his cologne now. "We're leaving," he repeated. "Now!"
"I'm not done talking to him."
"You shouldn't be talking to him," he snapped, "and you know—"
"You don't own her, you know," Jamie interjected, sounding annoyed, still in the spot I last saw him. "She can do whatever the hell she wants."
I didn't like the look that went to rest on West's face then, and I knew that if one of them didn't leave this room soon, things were going to escalate.
"Stay out of this," he managed to tell him before looking back at me. "Can we leave?"
"Fine," I mumbled, straightening my posture in preparation, but I let my frown stay. I wanted him to know that I wasn't happy about this.
A worried look flashed in his eyes when he caught my expression, but he still took a step back, telling me to move to the door. I was almost out of the room, West following closely behind me, when Jamie spoke again. And this time, West didn't hold himself back, the bad energy surrounding him today suddenly intensifying.
"I'll be here tomorrow," was what Jamie said, succeeding in confusing me. He was just having fun whipping my head back and forth again and again today.
West tensed behind me, his hand stopping halfway to the doorknob, almost grazing my side, and immediately I understood what that meant, I spun to face him.
But I didn't stop him on time.
West was fast, moving away from me before I could blink and charging towards Jamie, who was now on his feet with a prepared stance.
I heard the crunch of bone before I realized that West had delivered a punch to his jaw, and I froze when Jamie grunted and stumbled back with a hand placed over his lips. He almost knocked a desk over.
"I told you to shut up!"
When I said West was more than furious, I wasn't joking. Furious was even an understatement.
Jamie didn't recover as quickly as guys did in the movies, and I didn't blame him. With the way West hit him, you'd know he'd done it countless number of times. It was strange, but I wondered if that was the same force he used to destroy people's stuff, and it lead me to remember what he'd told me the night he showed me the scar on his back.
Then it hit me. This happened because of me—because I didn't listen to West. Jamie was hurt and it was my fault, yet all I could do was stand there and watch.
I saw Jamie ball his fist as he regained himself, but before he could retaliate, I stepped in, not wanting to hear that sound again.
"Stop!" I ordered, immediately seeing blood drop to the floor, landing in front of Jamie's feet, and losing my voice. He was bleeding. The observation caused a bolt of anger to travel through me, and I pulled the door open. "West, get out of here."
"I'm not leaving without you."
"Then let's go."
He obeyed, and immediately he walked out of the classroom, I turned to Jamie. He was cleaning blood from the corner of his lips, and an apology burned my tongue. But instead of saying anything, I walked out, too.
I saw West ahead, walking quickly, and I quickened my pace so I could catch up with him. When we got to the parking lot, I rushed to him, then hit his arm with the back of my hand. He turned to me with the same expression he'd been wearing for the past few minutes.
"What the heck is wrong with you?" I asked him angrily. "Why did you hit him?"
"Why would you go and talk to him? We agreed you weren't going to do that."
"I wasn't comfortable with just knowing, and after Saturday, I couldn't just sit and wait for something to happen. By the way, that doesn't answer my question. He didn't do anything to make you hit him like that."
"Just get in the car, Kim."
I smiled, but not because I was happy. "I'm not going anywhere with you," I told him. "I can't believe you right now."
"Don't be like this, Kimie. Let me take you home."
How could a person be so violent one second and so gentle the next? It honestly confused me, and I was serious about not getting in that car with him, so I turned to leave instead of responding to him.
"Seriously, Kimie?"
I didn't know exactly why I was mad—maybe because he walked in when Jamie was about to tell me something important, or maybe because he slammed his fist hard into the side of his face—but I had my mind made up. I couldn't remember the last time I walked home from school, anyway.
"Okay, I'm sorry," he said, appearing in front of me suddenly and making me stop. "I'm sorry I'm in such a bad mood today, okay? But, honestly, he was asking for it."
"I'm still not getting in your car." I hooked a thumb around the thin strap of my backpack. "Actually, I don't want to talk to you right now."
I saw how defeated he looked, but I tried not to let it bother me. I didn't like his reaction to Jamie, and I needed to get the message across. Without a word, I walked past him and started the walk home, silently praying my knees wouldn't give out before I got there.
I needed a distraction so bad, I went to work.
I wasn't getting paid anymore, but that was understandable since I hardly worked. I didn't mind, though. I would've done anything to help prevent my mind from wandering, and working for free wasn't excluded.
My car didn't feel the same, even though it heavily smelled like Kairi, but I ignored it and just drove. I didn't have to think about it, because it would lead to him and I seriously didn't want to feel bad about turning him down.
The moment I got to Sprinkles, my heart stopped beating in my chest for a few seconds. I didn't think I liked that moment of confusion that came after my heart stuttered. I liked being in control, and confusion didn't come in the same package as control.
Tybalt was walking out of the ice cream place with a box in his hands, and I remained in my car for some reason. Normally, I'd rush out to meet him, but I didn't have enough energy to do that today. I just sat in my vehicle and watched him make his way to a car on the other end of the parking lot.
When I was sure he wouldn't see me if I got out, I took my jacket and phone from the passenger seat and left my car as quietly as I could. I double checked to see if I really locked it this time, before heading for the door of Sprinkles.
Avoiding him now was like holding a cone of ice cream on the beach on a sunny day, hoping it wouldn't melt quickly even though I knew it would do exactly that really soon. I was eventually going to bump into him, and I knew that, but I was still postponing the inevitable.
I'd barely gotten to the door when someone called my name.
Tybalt.
I shut my eyes for a moment, asking the universe why it took me so close, only to snatch the opportunity from my hands, then turned in his direction with a smile I hoped looked genuine. I squinted, pretending to find him, trying to act natural and cool, and he waved, closing the door of the car, before rushing to me.
"I'd recognize that shirt anywhere," Tybalt said when he was within earshot, his eyes drifting to my oversized t-shirt, and I moved to the side so I wouldn't stand in the way of customers wanting to exit the building. "Where have you been?"
That was the same question I'd asked him the night I found him looking lost on the sidewalk, a few days after I stood him up.
"Places," I responded, keeping my smile and focusing on a silver car over his shoulder when he stopped in front of me. The color reminded me of Axel's Camry, and it prevented me from looking Tybalt in the eyes.
"You just disappear when you want to. It's weird."
I put on my jacket just to keep myself busy. "Well, no one called me, so I thought I wasn't needed."
I meant it as a joke, but it didn't sound like one, and his smile fell. I instantly regretted opening my mouth.
"I'm sorry," he apologized, scratching the back of his neck. "I wanted to, but . . . I'm sorry."
I pushed his shoulder gently and playfully with a fist. "Lighten up, I was just joking."
He released a nervous laugh. "Wow." And another one. "You're a serious joker. But you're right, though. We're terrible co-workers."
"Don't worry about it. You're okay."
He smiled again, then glued me to the spot with a stare that had a lot of things crumbling. My composure was one of those things. He probably didn't know how much damage that one look was causing, because I'm sure if he did, he wouldn't've held my gaze for that long.
Tybalt stepped forward suddenly and brushed hair away from my face, his warm fingers just shy of touching my cut. I'd removed the Band-Aid so it wouldn't draw too much attention to it, and even though the spot his hand grazed was supposed to hurt, my entire body tingled.
I thought this was over. I thought he had given up on pursuing something more with me. I thought my heart had found where it wanted to be.
But I was wrong.
Tybalt still had the same effect on me.
"Believe it or not, I've really missed you," he said softly, and I was suddenly conscious of the customers and workers inside. They'd be able to see us through the glass if they looked. "I feel like we're in this weird, never-ending back and forth ride, and I'm really sorry I haven't been the nicest person to you."
"Tybalt, please—"
He silenced me with another step closer. "You know I'm right, Kim. Don't you?"
I took a while before nodding in response, choosing not to say anything this time. It physically hurt to stand in front of a guy whose heart I'd broken once. I focused on the cute Sprinkles logo on his t-shirt to avoid looking at him, not a fan of prolonged sessions of eye contact, especially with people that could easily break me.
"When your shift ends, can we talk? I'll wait."
Oh, my God, I thought immediately, already seeing where this conversation was going. But I realized I could be wrong. Maybe he just wanted us to properly patch things up. I couldn't assume and ruin things again.
So I told him, "Sure," backing the answer up with a nod, and he smiled again.
* * *
Tybalt was true to his word—he waited. And before I got to my car after clocking out, he was already there, Norman devouring a large burger beside him. Tomato and onion rings and pickles were sticking out of it, threatening to fall, but the lithe Norman just ate his lunch with the passion of a hyena.
When they saw me approaching, they watched, and, wanting to get rid of the itch caused by knowing that their eyes were on me, I said to Norman, "Get grease on my car and you'll wash it by hand."
"Dare me not to do it," the boy responded mid-bite, and Tybalt hit his shoulder with his. "Never mind. You want some?"
"No, thank you."
"It's time for you to go, Norm," Tybalt told him as I drew closer, and he nodded in obedience, still chewing, then threw a suggestive smile in my direction.
"Have fun."
I felt my cheeks grow hot when he walked away, and I tried to hide it by running a hand through my hair.
"Ignore him," Tybalt said to me. "He's an idiot."
I laughed to hide my reddened cheeks. "Yeah," I joked. "It's obvious in the size of that burger."
His shoulders shook as he joined me. "I told him it wouldn't be appealing to anyone."
I leaned against the car next to him, and a sudden silence fell over us. The breeze was warm, promising a relaxing summer, but I couldn't appreciate it, my stomach bundled up with nerves and anticipation.
I straightened after realizing that I was slouching, a silent urge for him to speak, and our hands accidentally brushed against each other, causing the both of us to freeze. I didn't dare turn to him, knowing that his eyes were on me already.
"I really like you, Sato," he finally said, breaking the silence, and my heart stopped beating.
This was not good. This was so not good.
"I like every freaking thing about you," he continued. "And I'd really, really love it if we could give us a chance. You're honestly driving me crazy, and I can't get my mind off you even though my life's kind of a mess right now. I know it's cheesy, but that's how I really feel about you."
He waited for me to respond to his confession, but I just stared ahead, my throat dry. I honestly didn't know what to say. No one had ever really said the words I like you in my direction, and the fact that Tybalt just did rendered me speechless.
Was I supposed to say it back? Brush him off? Tell him he was making a mistake because I didn't really know what I was doing?
I remembered that day on the sidewalk and how directionless he'd looked, and I realized that I didn't want to hurt him again. I didn't want to add to his piling problems or break his heart again. But how was I supposed to turn him down without doing those things?
And what about West?
Breathing became a task then, and I wanted to cry, because I knew what I was going to say before I even thought about it. I knew what I was going to do even though I was aware that the result would come back to bite me.
"I like you, too," I heard myself say. "And I agree. We should—" I paused, but regained myself. "We should give this a chance."
"You mean that?"
I looked at him to get the message across, and my heart crushed into pieces when I saw the hopeful look in his eyes. I immediately wished I could bite my tongue off.
"Yeah," I heard from my mouth again. "I really do."
Tybalt smiled, his shoulders slumping with relief. "That's . . . great. I can't believe you said yes."
I couldn't believe I said yes, either, but I wasn't going to tell him that. I gave him a smile that probably did a better job than I expected, judging by the way his expression softened into one of fondness.
"Thank you."
I didn't know it was possible, but my heart shattered even more at those two words. Maybe what he really meant was, thank you for not breaking my heart.
I didn't want to look at him at the moment, so I looked down at his hand for a few seconds, then took it in mine. It didn't feel like West's, but it had its own warmth.
"Soo . . ." he started after our hands fit. "Can I take you somewhere tomorrow?"
"It's a Tuesday."
"I know."
"Where do you want us to go?"
His thumb drew lines over mine a few times before he responded. "Same place as last time."
I drew in a shaky breath. "Are we . . . gonna stay out late? I have curfew."
"Nah, I'll drop you off early. Pick you up at six?"
"Sure."
He moved to stand in front of me, not letting go of my hand, and the guilt slapping me hard across the face made the tingling in my chest stop a little too soon.
"I'll see you then. I promised my mom I'd get her something, so I have to go."
"No problem. Tell her I said hi."
"Of course."
He looked at me for a few seconds longer, then leaned in, and I stood still. His lips were soft when they met with my cheek, and, this close, I noticed he smelled like ice cream. Before he could pull away, my phone vibrated against my thigh, startling me a little, and he brought his confused eyes to mine.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing. It's just my phone." I pulled it out to check who the text was from, and felt like the universe was against me when I saw that it was from West.
Can I call you?
I didn't have to think about it before I sent him a no, and I smiled at Tybalt as I put the phone away.
Nope, I didn't forget about Tybalt. 🙈
Last chapter's 👑 goes to _Gods_Child_! You have a great nose! I love it when you guys get all detective-y. Speaking of which, I think we should play a matchmaking game of sorts.
Who do you think Kimie's gonna end up with and why? I'd drop my answer, but you all know you can't trust me 🙃
See you in the comments!
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