Why did Melissa have to say that? I was better off thinking that Andy just lost interest in me. I wished I hadn't heard her say that he was serious when he said he cared for me, liked me, loved me. 

My parents knew something was wrong at dinner when I didn't eat all my food. I didn't even text Eric back that evening. My homework sat on my desk, waiting for me to start on it. 

Why did breaking up have to feel this way? Why did I have to feel everything from the bottom of my soul for a man that liked me at best? And why did his sister have to go and ruin the only thing that made me feel better? 

I let myself wallow in self-pity for a while. A week to be exact. I avoided people when I went to class, and I didn't even try to talk to Eric. I basically ignored him. My other friends were basically not talking to me anyway, including Melissa. He was the only friend I had left, pretty much. So I knew he was worried about me.

When I finally managed to pull myself out of the self-pity pit, I felt refreshed. I'd processed everything and decided that I would be fine without Andy and he would be fine without me. We would both move on and find that happiness again in someone else or, if we get our timing right and run into each other again, we'll eventually find it in each other. 

Well, if that happiness even existed. I had a feeling that it only existed sometimes for certain people, and I wasn't one of them.

Eric saw me when I entered campus and he waved me down. I walked glanced around before going over. "You're looking better," he said when I was close enough he didn't have to shout. "Are you back with that Andy guy?"

I shook my head. "No. We're probably not going to be together again. Sorry I've been ignoring you. I just needed some time."

"I heard there was a party tonight. In case you want to find Mr. Rebound, that is. Wanna go with me?"

A rebound wasn't something that was ever going to last, and I didn't want that for me. "If I date someone else, it won't be a rebound. I think I can handle something serious. The way I'm wired won't handle something meant to be short-term."

He nodded. "How about you come with me anyway? Get outside your comfort zone and meet a new demographic."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "You don't even know that demographic."

"Be that as it may, I can't say that you won't find a nice guy there."

I rolled my eyes. "Since when do nice guys go to parties? Do you even remember high school? We all went to one party. At that one party we witnessed beer-pong for the first time while all the jocks stood around making monkey noises and every other guy in school drooling over the popular girls that were dancing on the furniture. What makes you think people get more mature in college? They're just high schoolers that can drink."

He paused. "Valid point. Still, you never know. I'm a nice guy, right?"

I pressed my lips together. He very much was. "Debatable. I mean, there's some stuff that I could tell your next girlfriend that might make her reconsider."

He sighed dramatically as he walked away a couple steps and then came back. "You're killing me here. We both know I'm a good guy. Therefore, you could come to the party because if I'm there, who knows if maybe another good guy is showing up that doesn't normally go to these?"

It really was useless arguing with a law student. "Fine," I responded, shaking my head. "I'll go this one time. If I don't meet anyone, you're not allowed to drag me to another."

"Deal."

"When is this party and where?"

"Tonight at my place."

My eyes widened and jaw dropped. All I could do for a moment was stare at him. "I'm sorry, could you run that by me again?"

"It's tonight at my place. I'm throwing the party."

"You, the law student, are throwing a potentially illegal party at your parents' home, which is inevitably going to be trashed?"

He frowned. "It won't be illegal, and it's not going to be trashed."

"How do you know? Someone is probably going to bring a keg and-"

"It's going to be fine. The people I invited aren't going to bring a keg or liquor."

"My question stands."

He sighed and glanced around. "Let's get to class. You're coming to the party, so you can just see for yourself. Okay?" 

"Fine," I grumbled.

---

For the life of me, I couldn't figure out what possessed Eric to go to a party, and especially to host one himself. I could only figure that maybe he was trying to help me out. The thought was the only logical one, but it didn't sit right with me. 

Still, I went to his house that evening. My parents didn't question it - they were just happy I was spending time with friends. Which was fine. I was 19, but they still would have flipped and begun to question my decision making if they knew. 

By the time I got there the house seemed packed. I'd even arrived early. It looked like it was in full swing at only eight. The music was blaring. I swore I could see the windows moving in time with the bass. It wasn't an old house, but it wasn't new, either, and needed repairs. I jsut hoped it would hold up. 

I walked inside and right away saw what I feared I would find: a group of seniors from the college doing a keg stand in the hallway. On wood floors. I felt the stab to my chest over Eric's mother finding vomit on her beautiful wood flooring as if it were my own parents. Which I had good reason to fear, because I was the one Eric's parents always blamed for his bad decisions for some reason. 

Eric was nowhere to be seen.

I had a couple of ideas about where he possibly could be, but as I checked the kitchen, living room, downstairs bathroom, and the closet, I was beginning to get worried. The last place I was going to look was his bedroom. It was possible he was hiding there. 

The stairs had people that threw me annoyed looks as I pressed past them. When I reached his bedroom, I could hear his voice talking to someone. To my shock, a girl answered. I leaned in closer and tried to listen.

"I'm telling you I mean it," Eric said.

"I'm telling you that you're passing up a great chance," the girl answered. "Me and you, one date. I'm not asking you for your hand in marriage or whatever. One date."

"I keep telling you no, so just drop it. Please. I'm tired of having this discussion. Someone important to me is coming tonight, and I need to be downstairs to greet her."

"Her? So you have a girlfriend? Why didn't you just say so?" 

"Kat-"

"Save it."

I took a couple steps back just before the door flew open. She narrowed her eyes at me. I watched her leave and then turned my attention to the room. Eric was sitting on his bed with his head in his hands. "Who was that?" I asked, making him jump.

"A girl in my class that took a liking to me," he answered. "Katy. I'm not interested, but she won't take no for an answer." He rubbed his face before standing. "Sorry. Welcome to my party!"

"You're aware seniors are doing a keg stand in the hall downstairs, right?"

His eyes widened and he ran off, presumably to stop them. It was the first time I'd been in his room alone, and I was overwhelmed by curiosity. It was small and felt like him in a weird way. It didn't match the person he put forward most of the time, but it matched who he actually is. The walls were covered in layers of posters. Bands, celebrities, and shows looked out at me from the pictures. Funko Pop figures were lined in neat rows on every surface. 

Needless to say, he was a bit of a nerd. Not that there's anything wrong with that. 

Sounds of shouting started coming from downstairs. I rushed towards the noise and found Eric arguing with the people that had been doing a keg stand, which I now realized were some nerds from another course and some senior jocks. He was telling them that he wanted order at this party and if they can't do that, then they could leave. 

After a few minutes of back and forth, they finally left. I was relieved when they didn't try to fight with Eric - which I assumed was because he was breaking out his lawyer side - and simply mingled back into the mass of bodies occupying the living room.

Eric rejoined me upstairs. "Impressive," I said as we walked back to his room. 

He shrugged with a smile. "Eh. It was nothing." He closed the door behind us once we were inside his bedroom. "Sorry you had to see that as soon as you walked in the door."

"It's fine. By the way, sorry for scaring off the girl you were talking to. Katy, was it?"

"Don't worry about it. I don't have a thing for her. She's kind of a pain, so ignore her."

"Why should I ignore her? She's not bothering me."

"Well, she bothers me." He shook his head and stepped closer. "Can we not do this now? I do have something serious I want to tell you." I swallowed, trying to prepare myself for some bad news. "I want to make sure you understand a couple of things, but I want you to know I love you. Not in a friendly way, but in the 'I want to be your boyfriend' kind of way. First, I want you to know nothing will change about us if you don't want it to. Not even if you turn me down. Second, you don't need to give me an answer right now. I don't want you to, in fact. I'll listen to you after the party if you help me out."

"Okay." He smiled at me before dashing past and out the room. 

I was surprised, but not shocked. For a while now I'd been sensing it was building to something similar. I just hadn't realized he was going to make a move. He'd always seemed to cowardly to try anything, so I hadn't been paying attention to where things were trending. Now, I realized, we had reached a point of no return. 

The party raged on for a long while. I was worn out after just an hour. Chips, dip, drinks - they all disappeared at an alarming rate. Speaking of alarms, the smoke alarm went off at some point. I didn't know what happened. All I knew was that Eric took care of it. 

When it started winding down sometime around midnight, I started getting nervous. I had to give an answer to my good friend about whether I wanted to stay friends or if I wanted to be more. I wanted to cry. My heart was torn. 

Which told me everything I needed to know.

Once everyone was gone and we had more or less straightened out the house, Eric and I went out back and sat on their porch swing. Silence settled between us. It felt natural to sit there like that. Our shoulders brushing, gently swinging in the cool night air. I could see us doing this more. 

"Have you given what I said any thought?" Eric asked in a hushed tone. 

"I have."

"Before you answer, can I just explain myself a little?" I nodded and he took a deep breath. "I fell for you back in high school, but I could never time it right. Either I had green lights and no nerve, or I had the nerve but no green lights, so I just decided to take the chance tonight and put my feelings out there."

After I was sure he was done, I said, "I kind of knew you had a crush on me for a while." Even in the dark, I could see the blush. "We've been such good friends for so long, though, that it still caught me off guard. How do you always do that?" I asked with a smile. 

He shrugged with the same small, awkward smile. "Just comes naturally, I guess."

The shared smiles lingered, the moment feeling fragile. Everything between us felt like it was teetering. I'd tried to think of every outcome this could possibly have, and I knew that if we failed, it would ruin everything we had. Then again, we could work and things would all just go on the most natural course. I was afraid of my answer, but at the same time, it felt right. 

"I think we should give it a try."

---

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