After being so pointedly ignored, I wanted to ignore Andy back. I really did. I didn't answer him back for a week when he texted that next morning. He texted again, asking why I was being petty, and I couldn't hold back anymore. 

Me
You're the one that's been ignoring me. I don't think you have any room there to call me out on anything. Not after ignoring me for nearly a month.

Andy
What do you mean? I've been trying to work and earn money. I know you want to get married and it takes money.

Married? I felt my heart skip a beat at the thought, but I gritted my teeth and tried to hold my ground.

Me
There won't be a wedding if you keep on doing this stuff. Ignoring me on purpose isn't what I'd call proposing to me. It's more like pushing me away.

Andy
Since when have you been so needy? You're acting like I've been abusing you or something. We both know I haven't.

Me
We also both know you've never once said you love me even though I say it a lot. Is that what you really want to build a life on? A one-sided feeling? Or are you just trying to fulfill some dream you think I have?

The three dots to show he was responding never popped up. Instead, my phone rang. I picked up and before I could say anything, he spoke. "Why are you so determined to tell me how I feel? I haven't been ignoring you. You haven't been texting me, so don't act like us not talking is only my fault. I think some of the blame falls on you, too."

"Are you joking?" I was barely suppressing my anger. "You're the one that didn't text me for three weeks. You know, last week made nine months we've been dating. Remember the night I came over to your house? Yeah, it was that night."

"Okay, so first of all, I didn't know you came over. Second of all, there's no need to come over. I'm tired. Didn't I tell you that? I'm too tired to have guests over."

"After nine months, is that all I am to you? A guest?"

"What?"

"We've been dating most of a year, Andy. Am I just some random guest to you? Actually, no, don't answer that. I think we both know the answer is yes."

"It's not like that! I never thought of you as someone random."

I took a deep breath and swallowed, bracing myself for the one question that I needed to ask. It was one I shouldn't have to ask. "Do you love me?" 

The line went silent and I felt my heart quietly breaking. When he finally spoke, it only made those cracks spread. "That's not fair, Elise. You know I care about you." I tried to blink back the tears as I listened to his excuses. "We've been dating nine months. I thought you'd know that by now."

"Andy, just answer the question." My voice surprised me by how steady it was. "Are you in love with me?"

It went silent again, and my heart felt like it was crumbling. "I'm not," he said softly into the phone. 

Tears began rolling down my cheeks, dripping onto my lap, but I wasn't sobbing. I was past that point. I simply nodded even though he couldn't see me. "Okay, then. I kind of thought that was the case, but what can I do? I think I'm done trying. Goodbye, Andy." I ended the call in spite of his pleas of don't hang up. 

The house was as silent as the phone call had been. I tried to take a few deep breaths, but they were more like gasps. It took a minute to realize I was sobbing. I let myself feel my feelings and then lay on my bed. I heard my family come home and bump around the house. No one came to my room until it was time for dinner, but I just told them I wasn't hungry. 

Eventually, when I had no tears left to cry, I texted Eric. I didn't want to tell him, but I sent him a simple, You were right. Which was true. He was right. I just hadn't wanted to see it when we were out having coffee. 

Eric
Are you okay? What happened?

Me
It's over between me and Andy. You were right.

I choked back a dry sob as I typed up probably one of the most painful texts that I think I've ever sent. 

Me
He doesn't love me.

Eric
I'm coming over.

Me
Please don't. I don't want anyone to see me like this.

Eric
Too late. I'm on my way.

I dropped my phone somewhere on my bed. If he wanted to come see me, so be it. 

A few minutes later - maybe longer, I'm not sure - someone knocked on my door. I didn't respond, but they came in anyway. "It's me," Eric said. I heard him roll my desk chair to the side of the bed. 

We were silent for a couple minutes. I knew this was an 'I told you so' moment. I didn't want him to have it, but even I could admit I had been wrong. "Just say it," I said after a moment.

"What do you want me to say?"

I shook my head. "You were right. Just say it."

"I won't."

I turned to look at him. "Say it!"

He clenched his jaw as he took in my red, swollen eyes. "Why would I rub salt in that cut?" We looked at each other as his words sank in. My lip trembled even though there were no tears left. He reached out and I collapsed into his arms.

I don't know how long we stayed that way. He simply held me as I shook silently. In that moment, I was so grateful for him. None of my other friends had cared when I complained. Only he had.

Eventually, I pulled away from him. "I think I just need to be alone for a while," I said, rubbing my face. "I need to process things."

"Okay." Eric pat my knee before standing. "I'm here if you need to talk."

"Thanks." He nodded before turning and walking out my room, closing the door behind him.

---

Something I can say about heartbreak is that it doesn't always feel like time is healing you, but I promise it is. I didn't see it at first either. Andy stayed on my mind daily, but that first month was eased by Eric. He was so kind to me, and listened without complaint to anything that I wanted to say.

About the time it reached two months post-breakup, I got a call late at night from Andy. "What is it?" I asked, picking up right before it went to voicemail. 

"I miss you, Babe. I've been doing a lot of thinking and I realized that I was in the wrong. You were right. I think at first I was trying to help you live out a weird fantasy. That was only at first, though. I fell for you, though. Like, really fell for you. I think I love you, Elise."

I closed my eyes and pulled my knees to my chest. "You don't know if you love me, then. Not for sure."

There was painful silence before he responded. "I'm not entirely sure, no. But I want to try to do better by you. I want to try again."

I rubbed my face, feeling exhausted from this conversation. "Okay. I'll give you one chance. If it doesn't work out, there's no third chance."

"Thank you." He let out a relieved sigh. "Want to go out on Saturday?"

"Sure." My lip began trembling, but I did my best to hold my voice steady. "See you at ten at the coffee shop. I'm going to bed. Goodnight, Andy."

"Goodnight, Elise. Sweet dreams."

I hung up and dropped the phone as tears began pouring. Why did I agree to try again? I knew what Eric would say, and I agreed. I was being dumb. It takes a lot more than a month and some distance to make a man good. I may not have had much experience with men, but I knew that much.

As the days passed, I didn't breathe a word to Eric. I didn't want him to know that I was getting back together with Andy. Not so much because I knew he wouldn't like it, but because I had a feeling that it wouldn't take long for us to be over for good. He didn't need to know. 

Saturday rolled around, and I dressed up. I made sure I was wearing the outfit that Andy seemed to like the best, did my makeup, and got there early. I sipped on an orange juice while I waited. He was late when he finally walked through the door. He wasn't even dressed for a date. I felt my heart sink just a little. The look on his face pulled it back up, though. He definitely liked what he saw.

"You look beautiful, babe." He leaned down and kissed my hair before sitting. 

"Thanks." For probably the first time since we started dating, conversation didn't flow easily. I just sipped my drink and listened to him tell me a couple of things that happened to him at work recently. He didn't ask me anything, and I didn't volunteer. 

"Hey, want to go somewhere else?" he asked as he dusted cookie crumbs from his hoodie.

"Like where?"

"I don't know, like, maybe drive around? 

"Sounds good." I grabbed my purse and headed out to his car with him. He didn't get my door like he used to. I did it myself and sat in the passenger seat.

While he drove around, I kept stealing looks at him. He looked just as good as always. His features were handsome and went with anything he wore, be it a tux or the hoodie he had on. It wasn't fair. I wanted, just once, to look over and see him look ridiculous in something. 

That would have at least lightened the breakup I saw coming.

We drove around in relative silence. Normally it would have been comfortable and just being together holding hands as he drove around was enough to keep me smiling the whole time. Yet, somehow, whatever magic was there before was gone. The spell had been broken like me. I still sat there for as long as he felt like driving around and eventually he dropped me off at the coffee shop. He gave me a kiss before I got out, but the feeling of his lips on mine didn't light a fire or throw sparks like they used to. Instead, I just wanted it to be over. 

He pulled away, gave me a warm smile, and said he'd call me later. I waved as he drove away. 

"You're a risk taker, I see," a familiar voice behind me said. I turned and Eric was in the doorway, sipping on a coffee. 

I sighed. "I'm not. I let him take me on one more date, but it was already over before he got here this morning." I walked past him and sat at a table. 

He sat across from me and took in my outfit and makeup. "You look pretty. Let me guess - you were trying to win him over?"

I shook my head. "No. He's not in love with me. There's no reason for me to try to do that. I just wanted to dress nice for a date. It's habit more than anything."

"Well, you definitely did that." He looked at me a moment longer before dropping his gaze back to his coffee. "How did it go?"

I shrugged. "It went. Like I said, it's probably not going to happen again." I sighed and leaned back, relaxing for the first time all day. "Eric, have you ever been so in love with someone that you were blind to everything that was going on?"

He thought a moment before shaking his head. "Not to that point, no."

"Well, let me tell you what it feels like."

---

Word Count: 1991