Want to know a secret? A really deep, dark secret that no one will ever admit to?

Love is pain. 

No one ever told me. I found out the hard way. I wished I knew that back before everything happened. Like that saying: "If only I knew then what I know now." I wish I had known how everything would turn out so that I could know where it went wrong and prevent it all from happening. 

Then again, I wouldn't be who I am now. That pain was the catalyst for my growth, and I've been slowly realizing that the me here today wouldn't be if I had experienced one moment differently. So the best I can do is help you to grow in a way no one else helped me to. 

Well, I say I grew. Before I grew, there was a long period where I refused to let things go and I think I regressed. 

Enough of that, though. I should probably tell you about what all happened before I build it up too much or tell you how it all ended.

Anyway, to start with, I should take you back to my first year at college. That was when we met. I remember it all too well. It feels so fresh that it may as well have just happened, though the edges that ripped up my heart have been dulled by time.

I was sitting at a café, sipping my usual latte. It was pretty cold, so I was inside, studying for my English class. The page I was stuck on was breaking down sentences and explaining in depth what each part was. It was way beyond what I'd gone over in high school, and part of it kind of told me that everything I'd learned in grade school was only half true. 

A guy sat in the chair across from me and I looked up. He was cute, a classic tall, dark, and handsome. "Hey, I'm so sorry to bother you," he said. "I need some directions to a car part store nearby. My phone is dead and my car won't start."

I glanced around and realized I was literally the only person in the place besides a tired-looking barista behind the counter. "Um, sure." I picked up my phone and realized that I had a bunch of texts from one of my friends. She was freaking out because her boyfriend was breaking up with her. I ignored them and tried to search for 'auto parts store' on Google Maps. Several places popped up and I showed him my phone. 

He leaned close to my phone and looked, but then smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, but I'm not from here. I just moved here for my job, so I have no idea where anything is."

"Oh." I looked again at the texts I was ignoring, and stood. "I'll walk you there." I normally wouldn't have offered because, duh, strange man, but something told me he was being honest. 

"Oh, thank you so much." He stood and watched as I stuffed my book into my backpack and put my fall gear back on. "Which college are you going to?" he asked as we started walking to the door.

"The one up the road. Northern Virginia University." He stepped in front and held the door open for me. I shivered slightly as the wind sent chilled air under my scarf. I never got used to the cold air in northern Virginia after living my first fifteen years in Atlanta. "What type of job do you have?" I glanced at my phone and started walking in the direction of the nearest Auto Zone. 

"I work in IT. My job is kind of interesting. I think so, anyway. Normally I'd be working from home, but they're kind of changing the type to more in-office days. That's why I need to fix my car. My battery is dead and I realized I'm missing the tools to change it. They got lost in the move." 

"Sorry to hear." The orange sign of the auto parts store came into view and I pointed. "It's right over there."

"Thank you so much," he said, sounding relieved. "Can I buy your coffee next time as a thank you?"

I looked at him for a moment. The unease I'd felt before had subsided for the most part, so I found myself nodding. "Okay."

"When are you coming to the shop next?"

"Probably the day after tomorrow. I'll be there around two."

He nodded slowly. "I should be able to get away for a break. Can I give you my number? That way you can text me if you decide you're not coming."

I smiled to myself. Smooth, I thought. "I'll give you my number, too, in case you can't come."

"Sounds good. I'm Andy, by the way. Sorry, I just realized I didn't tell you my name earlier."

"Nice to meet you, Andy. I'm Elise."

"Pleasure to meet you, Elise." He took my phone and typed in his number, then called himself.  "I hope we can meet again soon," he said as he returned my phone. He gave me a real smile before turning and going the rest of the way to the parts store. 

I couldn't wait to see that smile again.

---

"Elise! Over here!" 

I turned to the guy calling my name and saw Eric waving at me. He was sitting with my best friend's boyfriend, James. "Hey, guys," I said as I took one of the two empty seats across from them. "How's pre-law treating you?"

James sighed and dropped his head to the table. "Kill me now," he said.

I smirked and shook my head. "What about you?"

Eric shrugged. "I'll survive," he said. "So I saw you with some guy yesterday. Who was it?"

"His name was Andy," I said as I opened my lunch bag. "He was nice. I was just helping him to find an auto parts store. No big."

Eric raised an eyebrow at me. "Are you sure? 'Coz if he was bothering you-"

"He wasn't," I said adamantly, meeting his gaze. "Like I said, he was fine. I just helped him find a store and that was it." I pulled out the pasta my mom had made and brought me the day before. "Oh, and I agreed to meet him for coffee tomorrow."

James raised his head and the guys both looked at me. "You're willingly going to meet a strange man you just met?" James asked. "Don't you think you should take someone with you just in case he tries to do something?"

"Dude, we're just going to be meeting in the coffee shop I'm always at in the middle of the day," I said. "The people there know me. He's going to buy my coffee as a thank you, and that's that. He's not, like, going to drug me or anything. They'd call the cops if he tried to."

"Uh, dude, like, they're not going to call the cops over something they don't notice," Eric responded sarcastically. 

I rolled my eyes. "So you really think he's going to try to do something to me?"

He shrugged. "You never know. I mean, if I was going to try to drug someone, I would do it where the person I'm drugging and the workers couldn't see. It would just be stupid to do it in the wide open. That's just incriminating yourself and asking to be caught."

"How would I know if he's trying to drug me, then?"

Chalk that up to things I probably shouldn't have asked. Eric explained to me in detail how Andy would do it, and those words played through my head when I was at the coffee shop the next day. 

I sat in my usual spot without ordering and pulled out my laptop and English book to start on my homework. My mind was laser focused until someone tapped on the table. I looked up and saw Andy smiling at me. "Hey," I said, smiling in return. "You came."

"I did." He glanced at the counter before looking back at me. Eric's words were echoing in my head: he's going to ask what you want and then order for you. "Hey, I don't know what you get, so would you mind telling the person at the counter what you'd like?"

The offer caught me off-guard. "Oh, um, right. Yes." I stood and followed him. He's going to offer to carry your drink. I tried to will away Eric's voice, but it was as stubborn as he was and refused. 

We ordered and then shuffled over to wait on our drinks. He looked relaxed, his fingers in his pockets and shoulders rolled back. I tried to stand up straighter as I studied him from the corner of my eye. From that angle, I could see he was fairly fit, though his jacket added bulk, obviously. His face had good proportions and was even fairly handsome. I could tell he was a bit older than me, though. How much, though, I wasn't sure. I figured about ten.

Our drinks were sat on the counter and he motioned for me to grab mine first. I picked it up and walked towards my table. He followed me over and sat in the chair across from me. We sipped at our drinks in relative silence. I tried to focus on my paper and managed to type out a few words or so before I lost all concentration. "How has your day been?" he asked.

"It's been fine, thank you," I replied. "What about you? Any interesting tech support stories?"

He shook his head. "Not today. Yesterday, though, I did have someone call and ask why their computer wouldn't turn on. His power was out at his house and he had a desktop." I snorted into my drink and he grinned at me. "What are you working on?"

"An English paper. It's due the day after tomorrow, but I was trying to get a jump on it." I shrugged and started to close my laptop, but his hand reached out and stopped me. My eyes snapped up to his and he removed his hand. 

"Sorry, but you don't have to stop just because I'm here. It doesn't bother me. Do what you need to do. I'm just here to sit and drink coffee."

I studied him a moment before opening my laptop again and trying to get back into my work. "If you're sure."

"I'm sure." He went quiet as I started typing again. I found my way back into my groove and got a good bit done before my fingers started to stiffen up and I stopped to stretch. "Would you happen to know my sister?" he asked, startling me out of my thoughts.

I actually had forgotten that he was there. "What's her name?"

"Melissa. She's in the education course at your school."

"Last name?"

"Oden."

"Oh! Yes, she's in two classes with me." I remembered her well. She was the girl that was both smart and pretty. She didn't really date anyone or go to parties, but she was still the girl all of the guys flocked to because she was stacked. Even Eric had a crush on her at first. She was also the girl that aced every test and had the highest grade in the class. 

"Cool. Have you guys met?"

I nodded. What he might not have known is that I was supposed to go to her house the next day because she was supposed to help me study for math. That was my worst subject and I didn't want to fall behind early on. I'd done that my sophomore year in high school and it turned out really bad, and I never wanted that to happen again.

"What do you think of her?"

I shrugged. "She's really nice. Smart, too."

He nodded. "She is." He checked his phone. "Hey, want to meet me for coffee again? Like on Sunday morning? I can treat you to breakfast, too."

I felt a blush creeping into my cheeks. "Sure."

Just like that, I was diving into the pool I should have been running from, not to. 

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Word Count: 1995