I was pacing in Michael's backyard as I waited and hoped that Sean would answer his cell phone. After talking with my brother, I finally understood what I really wanted. Which is why I wanted to call Sean immediately. There was a lot I needed to say to him; starting with an apology about running away.

When I had gotten on that plane, there was a part of me that knew I shouldn't have done it. Or at least, not the way I did. I felt a lot of guilt and I wanted to make things right.

I heard the line click and stopped my pacing. "Sean?"

"Hey, baby," he breathed into the phone. Hearing his voice brought tears to my eyes and I covered my mouth with my hand.

"Hey," I replied lamely.

There was a pause before he spoke again. "How are you?"

What I should have done before calling was try to think of what exactly I was going to say to him when I did. Because now, I was coming up blank.

"You can tell me anything, baby," he said quietly when I remained silent. Nostalgia filled me at his words.

The words came spilling out of me after that. "Guilty. I feel guilty."

"Lydia--"

"No," I interjected. "I need to get this out. I feel guilty because of the way I handled all of this. Because, you were right. We have talked about living together and I was on board with it. I still am." I let out a long breath. "When you asked me, it caught me off guard. It suddenly became very real and it scared me."

"Why did it scare you?"

I closed my eyes tight as I chewed on my bottom lip. "Even though I was ready for it, it's still a huge step for me. I kept thinking about the future and wondering what would happen if it didn't work out. I was worried this could possibly be too fast for us. And if it was, that would affect our relationship." I held back my tears and the next words were barely a whisper. "I don't want to mess this up."

"Me either." He paused, and from the sound of horns beeping and people yelling, he was in the city somewhere. "Baby, I love you. More than anything. This scares the hell out of me, too. I've never lived with anyone before. I worry about the future just like you."

He laughed before he asked, "Doesn't this sound a little familiar?"

The memory of our night on the beach was fresh in my mind and I laughed along with him. "You mean, when we decided to go from friends to more than friends?"

"Yes. We were both worried about the effect it would have on our friendship. And what did I say to you?"

"You said that you didn't want to risk it either. But we couldn't ignore what we felt. You said we'll run with it and take it one day at a time."

"That's right," he said with a smile in his voice. "Babe, I'm just as scared as you are. I honestly believe this is the right step for us. But, if you aren't ready or have any doubts at all, it doesn't have to happen now or anytime soon. It's not going to change anything between us if you tell me you aren't ready."

Sean's words resonated in my head. If there was any sliver of doubt left inside of me, it was gone. He was one of the most understanding people I have ever met. I believed him when he said it wouldn't change anything between us if I said no. Now, I was more sure than ever.

"Yes," I breathed into the phone and I could feel the giant smile forming on my face.

"Yes? As in--"

I giggled. "Yes, I'll move in with you."

"Fuck. I wish you were here right now. I've never wanted to kiss you this bad."

"Me too," I laughed. It was true. I never regretted running away more than this exact moment. I wish I was there, standing in front of him so I could wrap my arms around him while I got lost in the pleasure of his kiss.

Something occurred to me and I wanted to address it immediately. "Wait... I want to move in with you. That's not going to change. But is there anyway we can wait until after this semester is over? Ellie and I have gotten close and I really want to finish the semester with her."

His answer wad immediate. "Of course you can. Like I said, no rush. Now, when are you coming home to me?"

I started walking back towards Michael's back door. "Well, I want to spend today with Michael since I'm here. Is it okay if I fly your charter back tomorrow?"

"I'll be at the airport. Just tell me when."

"I love you, Sean. Thank you."

He scoffed into the phone and I could picture him rolling his eyes. "You know you don't have to thank me, Lydia. For anything."

"I know," I sighed with a shake of my head. "Okay, I'm going to spend some time with Michael and I'll call you before I go to bed."

"Okay, baby. I love you."

I smiled as happiness filled me. "I love you, too."

7 Hours Later

"So, what now? I mean, you just tortured me with all of The Matrix movies."

Michael threw his head back with laughter as he put his hand to his chest. "Excuse me? You should consider yourself lucky that you were gifted with that amazing trilogy." He scoffed as he added, "After all, all you watch is Jim Carrey movies."

"Hey!" I shot back. "I watch other movies, too." Well, it was kind of true. Even though the older Jim Carrey movies were my favorite, Sean was trying to introduce me to new movies. A week ago, we started the very long marathon of Marvel movies. We were almost to the first Avengers and I had to admit, I was starting to get into it. 

"What other movies do you watch?" He challenged me. 

"I have gotten to know Captain America, Thor, Iron Man, and..." I leaned my head back as I tried to think of another movie. Shit. What was that movie called? "Then there's the one with the guy."

He arched a brow. "The guy? Lydia, that's like, every movie ever. Try again." 

A frustrated sigh escaped me. "Come on, it's the one where this guy is a spy or something. He goes on all these crazy, albeit unrealistic, missions." I started snapping my fingers trying to remember. "He has a really douchey face. Makes you want to punch him." 

Michael started laughing so hard I couldn't help but join. "You mean Mission: Impossible?"

"Yes!" I said as I got to my feet. "What's his name?" 

"Tom Cruise," he said as he tried to catch his breath. 

"Yeah. I hate that guy. He just looks like a pompous asshole." Seriously, I had no idea why Sean liked that movie so much. He had to keep nudging me to keep me from falling asleep. "Good thing they only made one of those movies," I stated. 

"Actually--"

I arched a brow. 

"Nevermind. Yep, just the one." He took the movie out of his PS4 and put it back on the shelf. 

After sitting on the couch for so long my muscles were sore. I took advantage of the reprieve and stretched out my arms and back. "So, what are you subjecting me to now?" 

He had an odd expression on his face. Like he was about to deliver bad or uncomfortable news. I got a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I did not want bad news right now. My mind raced with the many different things it could be. All of them had me feeling sick to my stomach. 

"Michael, what is it? You're freaking me out."

"There's something I need to tell you., he still averted his gaze.

"Yeah, I got that. Mind spilling?" What could be so bad that he was having trouble telling me?

"I-- Fuck." He covered his face with his hands. "I tried reaching out to Alex."

My entire body froze. The last time Michael and I spoke about our estranged brother was when I was in the hospital in San Francisco. That was over five months ago. According to Michael, he hasn't spoken to Alex since they got out of foster care. "You-- You tried reaching him? How?" 

Michael crossed his arms over his chest. "First I tried to call the last number I had for him and didn't get a response. Then I remembered a friend of mines dad is stationed over there. He helped me get some info." He let out a long breath. "Alex is still enlisted. He's in active duty. He couldn't get me a number, but he got me an address where I could write to him." 

My mind was reeling with the information overload Michael just dropped on me. I had so many questions and I didn't know where to begin. "When did you do this? Why didn't you tell me?" 

I could see the regret in his eyes, but it still hurt. "Lydia, I'm sorry. I wanted to see what I could find out first. I didn't want to get your hopes up if something had happened to him." He winced and I knew he was probably feeling the same fear that I was. Even though we all had been estranged for so many years, we were still family. 

I put my hands to my temples, trying to soothe the headache that was forming. "What do we do now?"

Michael shrugged his shoulders. "We wait. I wrote him a letter. We'll see if he writes back."

My need to know more was stronger than my fear of what might happen. "Did you tell him about me?" 

When Michael met my stare, I knew the answer already. "Not yet. I just want to see if he will even talk to me first. There's been so much bad blood in this family; so much fucked up shit. None of it was even our fault. It was our good-for-nothing parents. I meant it when I said I wanted the three of us to be a family. That's what I'm trying to do." 

Even though my chest ached with the knowledge that he didn't mention me, I knew he was right. There was such a bad history between us, it was best to tread lightly. "It's okay, Michael. I understand." I walked up to him and held his stare. "Promise me that you will tell me the moment you hear from him. Whether it's good or bad." 

He pulled me in for a hug. "I promise." We held each other for a long moment before he pulled away. He kept his hands on my shoulders and had a cocky grin on his face. "You know what it's time for now?" 

"What?" I asked with suspicion. With Michael, who knew? 

"It's time to introduce you to a friend of mine."

I frowned. Did he have someone coming over? I really wasn't in the mood to socialize with strangers. Like ever. "Who?" 

He walked over to his enormous wall of movies and pulled one off and held it up for me to read. Die Hard. "His name, is John McClane."