This is not a update. If you want you can skip this.

Who knows? I might delete this chapter, when I come back to my sense.

I am going to say two stories.

FIRST STORY

There was a 14 year old boy. He was standing near a shop. He had 50 rupees. He was going to buy a dairy milk chocolate.

He loves it. Who won't love it? Everyone loves it.

A grandma came. She said, she is hungry. He is from a developing country. There are poor people here. He was always taught that he should help people.

His parents say if you help the poor, you are helping the god himself.

He saw his wallet. He had money for his chocolate. He didn't have spare money.

But that grandma was asking for her living not for taste like him.

He asked her "Pattima enna venum" (WHAT DO YOU NEED GRANDMA?) He was taught to respect elders.

She said I need bun (HE DIDN'T KNOW THE ENGLISH WORD. IT WAS A TRADITIONAL FOOD. IT IS NOT KNOWN NOW)

He saw her. She was very old. The shop was on the other side of the road. She will have trouble crossing it. He was always taken care by his father. He won't let the boy cross the road even but this is not that time.

He can't let the grandma cross it. He ran and bought it and gave it to her.

No chocolate for him. He saw her face. Who needs chocolate? This smile is more precious.

The grandma opened her old bag. She had four bun in it. The boy was shocked.

"What is this grandma?"

She smiled and said "I have this four so that I can dip in milk and eat it in my home"

She took a taxi and went.

The little boy walked to his home

SECOND STORY

The boy is now a 18 year old young man. He now has a liking for ice cream.

He came after eating it. He was blocked by a man.

"Sir, My daughter is in hospital. She needs treatment. She just needs 1000 rupees sir. Please sir, I love my daughter so much sir. I tried everywhere sir. I can't get the money sir. Please help me"

It touched his heart so much but he didn't have 1000 rupees. Boy apologized and gave all he have.

He went home but that incident haunted him for months.

He thought what if he didn't get the amount. I could have fetched the money from home.

There was lot of "what if"

After nearly 2 months

The boy was coming in the same way. He saw the same guy.

He didn't recognize him. The boy recognized the face which haunted him.

He tried to stop the boy. Boy thought he is going to scold him for not helping.

But the man started from the same words. He said the same words again.

Boy was as usual cheated. The man might have been an alcohol addict. He said these words so that he has money to drink alcohol.

How was the stories?

Funny, right?

But that idiot still didn't change.

He was still helping.

When you are 2-3 years old, everyone say don't say lies

When you are little bit older they say you can lie for good

When you are a teenager especially end of teenage they say you can say lie sometimes.

When you are a graduate they say you should say lies, that is what corporate needs.

This is how lies are inserted into us

I am that idiot both are my real life incidents.

These books are not something written for votes.

These books are a part of me. "Her Dreams" is a story. I imagined for two years. I never wanted to write it. I wanted just to visualize it.

This books is a result of this frustration.

Lie, fake things, selfishness -This is the foundation of our world now.

How many real smile do we give everyday?

We are giving lot of fake smiles. Even our cheeks hurt due to it.

Everyday we are running due to the horn or sound of someone else.

When was the last time we stopped and saw a flower?

Do we have flowers? We see only FAKE flowers. Even our food is fake. We are genetically modifying it.

Everything in this world is FAKE.

FAKE......... FAKE....... FAKE.....

I don't know why I  writing this.

May be because I feel alone.

This life is  painful. Why is this all happening?

Oh!!!! I forgot another pillar of the world.

S*x

If I try to help a girl, she thinks I am trying to impress her.

Or else she is thinking, I am a BOY. and I am trying to cage her

I am being judged. I am sick of all these.

Have you seen a movie called 300? The spartans... In the climax, the king would have lost all his men. He will be without any weapons. Then the enemy king will ask his men to shoot the arches. King will stand tall before and arrows and die.

I feel like that king.

I lost all my men. I am standing without any weapon. I am seeing lot of arches. But I don't know who is the enemy king.

I am standing tall before them.

I wish I was

But I am not. I am not doing that.

I want to avoid it. I am not going to help anyone. Why should I?

I AM NOT GOING TO HELP ANYONE.

Everyone are going turn. I am done with seeing people turn their back.

I am losing myself. If you ask me, I am losing myself.

I am angry for silly reason.

I don't think this world is going to give me a happy life. I am praying that at least it gives me a life where I can feel myself.

Some bad words even come nowadays. What is happening to me ?

Will life always be like this??

I can't study now. I can't sleep now. I don't know why I am standing on the balcony?

It is night 4 now.

Most of all I don't know who is in this mirror?

Is it really me?

What is this world doing to me?

Socializing means facebook likes and wattpad votes for people now. They don't see the people next to them.

That is where socializing stands.

That smile when you see a baby or a kitten. That pure and real smile.

Why don't I see that in people?

Is it wrong that I am trying to bring it on them?

I don't know what I am going to be in this world. My mind wants to be Michael. It is like him now.

What is the world going to give me?

I am not that guy now. I am not going to run around asking people to smile.

I am not going to see the beauty in a rain.

I am not blaming anyone in specific. I am just upset with the society.

Thinking ability of a man is like the breakage of atom.

It was found for one reason but used for other reason.

Sorry, if I hurt anyone. This is not for blaming anyone. It is 4:00 AM Here.

Let's see if I get some sleep.

This is the world. My heart is like a stone now.

Whatever happens, I know that my life is not miserable. It is just tough.

Life will always help me.

I am just evolving. Just like a stone being sculpted.

I am worried because of the world.

People are ready to sacrifice a eye to get a dream.

People are ready to give away happiness to get money.

People are ready to sacrifice sleep to get a good bed.

Guys! Don't be like this. Only thing we need is smile.

A real smile.

Don't sacrifice your friend to get a smile.

When the time was 1:00 AM. I started this. I was beyond upset. This is something cruel than that.

Now the time is 4:01AM. I don't know if I can sleep or not today.

I want to be a child. My only worry or problem was if Jerry would escape from Tom or not at that time.

Why on earth did I grow up?

I just want to be the child who thinks world is fine without any evil villain.

Bye guys.

I will try to sleep too.